GRINGA (63 page)

             
Now my smile
vanishes
.
I take a deep breath.

             
‘You will go, won’t you
, Payton
?’

             
Silence
.

             
‘You have to go or you’ll end up in jail.’

             
I
cross my arms tightly across my chest and
silently study the floor.

             
My father frowns. ‘Payton, they’ll find
something
on you
. You don’t cross the FBI, Payton.’

             
I
chew on my
lower lip.

             
‘They may even arrest Diago.’

             
My eyes fl
y
to his. ‘I’ll go, I’ll go,’ I
quickly
say. ‘What time?’

             
Same time, same place, tomorrow. 

Six FBI agents
s
i
t
across me. Suddenly,
I’m
suffering heartburn and
I
need
an
antacid.
I’ve b
een taking them ever since
my father’s visit. 

             
‘How’ve you been?’ Depp asks,
his eyes boring into me.

             
I reach into my bag for
the
antacid, open it and pop it in my mouth.

             
‘Look, I …I want out,’ I say quietly. ‘I don’t want to do this anymore. I want out
right
now
.’

  
             
There’s an uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

             
‘So
…
you’ve fallen for him,’ Grey says, his tone
almost mocking.

  
             
I don’t answer.
I don’t need to.
They
’ve
heard everything, so they know.

  
             
Grey throws his hands in the air in exasperation. ‘I can’t believe you could be so easily swayed, Payton.’

  
             
I remain silent.

             
‘You - you’re smart, educated in the ways of law enforcement and one day, you’ll probably be sitting in
my
chair talking to an informant. So, why
…
I mean ...
?
’

             
‘You have to be in this situation to understand,’ I say, my tone defensive. 

  
             
‘Yeah right!’
he sneers.

  
             
I sigh and
rub my eyes, wishing I w
ere
a million
galaxies
away.

             
‘He’s a murder, a rapist, scum of the earth
,
’ Grey continues.

             
I narrow my eyes at the unsympathetic bastard. ‘
I’m
sorry,’ I repeat, ‘I
just
can’t do this anymore.’

  
             
Grey’s smile is mocking. ‘
Guess
we’ll just have to arrest him
,
fill him in
on the
tapes that
you
arranged and then let him lo
o
se on you
and
your family
,
perhaps?’

  
             
My eyes
widen
. ‘What the hell do you mean?’
Suddenly, the antacid is not enough and I taste my breakfast.

  
             
He locks eyes with me
.

             
I summon every bit of courage to hold his gaze. Don’t want to back down. Need to let them know I’m serious
, unfazed
.

             
Depp
quickly
steps forward and shoves
Grey
aside
.

             
‘Look Payton,’ Depp says, his voice gentle
,
‘
I … look, w
e can’t just abandon ship here. Now I know
… I mean,
I realise what you’re facing and believe me, I sympathise with you
. But
Payton,
we’re far too deep in this to abort
.

             
I feel a sharp pain in my gut.

             
‘You’ve heard of the Stockholm syndrome, right? Patty Hearst ...?’

  
             
‘Yeah, I know, Depp
– identifying with one’s captors
. W
e like, covered that in my studies and ...’
My eyes start to mist up.
‘Maybe
,
but who knows how
people would
react if they were in my situation? I mean, you’ve heard
why
he did what he did to his father. How would you react if you were in his shoes,
Depp?
They made him like this. Between Jimo and Christa, they’ve created this
… this
monster, this recluse, this beast the villagers
were
afraid of. He wants to be good
,
Blake. He
wants to
do
good
. He does. Honest.’

             
‘Because he fancies you
?
’ Grey sneers.

             
I
throw him a look of hatred.
‘Whatever the reason – he
wants
to change
.
That should count for
,
like,
something. In
America
we see an elephant kill his trainer and
what do we do? We
call for the animal to be put down. But if we
learn
that the elephant suffered abuse in the hands of his trainer – years and years of
torment,
then we
like
say
“P
oor
e
lephant
. The fucker got what he deserved.”.’

             
Grey’s chuckle is mirthless.

             
‘We
don’t say,
“
Put the beast down anyway, because that’s our job
.”.’

             
‘Payton,’ Depp
’
s voice is weary, ‘he killed two cops. He’s going after ...’ 

             
‘
He said they
were
bad
cops, Depp.’
Fuck! That just slipped out.

             
Depp
stiffens and s
tares at me.
For a moment there is complete silence in the room.

             
Grey smiles
reaches his eyes.
‘
Ah, so he has told …’

             
‘
You shut the fuck up!
’ I sna
rl at Grey. 

             
Grey is on his feet. ‘Oh yeah?’

             
‘Yeah!’ I screech.
‘You fucking dickhead!’

             
‘Hold on! Hold on!’ Depp says,
holding out his arms out to separate Grey and me.

             
Grey pokes his head around Depp. ‘And you’re a …’

             
‘
Grey!’ Depp yells.

             
Grey simmers
silently.

             
‘
Payton look, why don’t you go home and ...
rest
,’ Depp says. ‘
Take some medication for th
at gastric
ulcer you’ve got.
We’ll meet next week. But think about what we said. All this comes to an end if we arrest Diablo and you’re free to go home, to
America
. Until we need you, of
course. ’

             
I glare at Grey
then storm out o
f the meeting.
‘Racist f
ucking
asshole
!
’ I mutter.

             
And Depp, h
ow did Depp know I have a stomach ulcer?

             
My head is buzzing from our conversation. Diago
simply cannot go
to jail.
Okay, so his
crimes were heinous
,
but still, I
need
to protect him – tell the world he’s changed and showcase this change
. P
eople can change
, goddammit!