GRINGA (85 page)

             
I find myself nodding slowly.

             
Forgive me Diago
.

             
Grey smiles and makes a phone call. My eyes are fixed on his face, eager to hear what the verdict is. He nods several times, eventually hangs up and looks at me. ‘Done. He’ll be released … soon.’

             
I exhale loudly. At least my father won’t have to spend another night in prison. Suddenly I feel like vomiting. I quickly
lower my head
.

             
‘Payton? You okay?’ Depp asks.

             
I don’
t answer for how best do I say,
‘I’m suffering the side-effects of deceit?’

             
‘Payton?’ he persists.

             
I give a dismissive wave.

             
He nods slowly. ‘Do you want to see your father?’ 

             
I shake my head from side-to-side.

             
They take turns to clear their throat. 

             
I stand up. My father is safe; I’m no longer needed here so I need to get the fuck away from these two.

             
Depp quickly gets to his feet.

             
I shuffle to the door. Depp follows. At the door, our eyes lock for a moment. As young as I am, I know what betrayal looks like - I see it in Depp’s cobalt eyes. He quickly glances away, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down and I just know, they orchestrated this whole motherfucking fiasco.

             
I’m may be young and dumb, but he’s utterly transparent.

             
‘Depp,’ I whisper, ‘if I …if I ever were to play poker with you
…I’d win.’

             
His closes his eyes exhales loudly.

             
I nod at this discomfort then walk out the door.  

             
I sit behind the steering wheel in the prison’s parking lot and stare into space. Marcus Brutus and Julias Caesar, Jesus and Judas Iscariot, Samson and Delilah, Payton and Diago
.

             
I place my head on the steering wheel and sob.

Pacing – thank God for the person who invented it – I’ve been at it all afternoon in my room, trying to find it solution, make a plan, save Diago from spending a lifetime in prison.

             
Maybe – well, the Feds think I’m going to testify against Diago once they arrest him, right? How about … how bout, I let them …yeah, let them think I’m going to testify against him; but here’s my ace – I become Diago’s wife before that. We get married in a secret ceremony. Immediately. The Feds can’t make me testify against him then. I think that’s how it works.

             
But that will mean …okay, so I’m duping the FBI - will I go to jail for that? Fuck! I wish I knew. If only I was in LA - I could research it over the internet.

             
What about ...
? M
aybe I
can
be their star witness, but my testimony on the stand will be so vague and lacking in credibility, that the case just falls apart, disintegrates. Like, their cross-examining
me
costs them the case and Diago walks?

             
Diago pokes his head into the room. The smile he gives me is so loving, I want to hold him and sob again. ‘You coming to dinner, baby?’  

             
I swallow the lump in my throat and force a smile. ‘C …come here,’ I say.

             
He walks over to me and I melt into him. ‘Love me, Diago?’

             
‘Love you,’ he says and kisses my hair. ‘Always.’

             
‘Then let’s go to the cliff after dinner – just you and me.’

             
‘Eh … okay …’  

             
I raise my face for a kiss.

             
He obliges.

             
Diago, my love, my darling, my world, please forgive me. 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

We’
re lying on the grass, watching the sunset, when Diago turns to me and smiles. ‘It’s your birthday tomorrow …’ 

             
‘Tomorrow, yeah ...’ I’m so distracted saving his ass and my father’s that I completely forgot. ‘Yeah ... twenty two. I’m gonna be over the friggin’ mountain, let alone hill.’

             
He chuckles. ‘What would you like for your birthday, baby?’

             
‘What would I like? Besides world peace? Mmm ... lemmethink ...’ I turn and look at him. ‘I want you …I want to marry you.’ 

             
He squints at me. ‘
Si
... but ...?’

             
I scramble to sit up. ‘No, like
tomorrow.
Or the day after. P
lease
!’

             
He peers at me. ‘Okay …but why so quickly, Payton?’

             
‘Cos...cos ... Diago, I wanna get married and I wanna have babies. Yours and mine, Diago. I want your child.
Our
child. I want children. There, I’ve said it. I’m sick of holding back on how I really feel about kids.
’

             
I brace myself for a barrage of reasons as to why he doesn’t think that’s a good idea.

             
‘
Children …’ He smiles.
‘We have little Diago’s, eh? You teach them how to be good; I teach them how to fight.’

             
My smile is one of relief. ‘Yeah. But, what if all our kids are
girls
, Diago?’

             
His smile widens. ‘Girls? Li’l Paytons? Small, naughty li’l Paytons. Big mouth, big attitude.
I will lose all my hair, I think
’

             
I lie back on the grass and grin at a mental picture of Diago trying to handle three spirited little girls.

             
‘Okay,’ he says. ‘You want to get married, we get married. Two days.’

             
I sit up again and look at him. I see love and trust in his eyes and I feel cherished. I never felt such love and closeness to anyone before, not even Austin who I once planned to marry.

             
‘Kiss me,’ I whisper, grateful for having known him.  

             
He obliges.

             
‘One condition,’ I say between kisses. 

      
             
‘
Si
?’

             
‘Let’s keep it a secret.’

             
‘Secret? Why?’

             
‘Cos …I eh…I mean…I don’t want my family attending. Just you, me,
Troy
, Maria and
Rosa
and some of your men.

             
‘Okay…okay…okay.’

             
I may go to jail for killing Tongue and Christa, but it’s a chance I’m prepared to take. I’d rather go on trial and take my chances there, than have my testimony put my love behind bars.

Planning and
executing
a wedding in just two days?
E
xhausting. Especially if I have to keep it quiet. But I manage it.

             
A
s I trot down the aisle to meet my bridegroom
,
I feel beautiful in my strapless, champagne-coloured, flo
or-length
gown.
My crown and my bouquet is made up of white and cream frangipanis.

             
Diago looks at me and mouths, ‘Wow!’

             
I’m suddenly bashful and reward him with a smile. 

             
He’s dashing in his midnight blue suit
.
My beautiful Prince. Payton’s prince.

             
He blushes and squeezes my hand as the priest rattles off in Spanish. I don’t understand what he says, but Diago prompts me along and we say our vows.

             
Diago leans forwards and smiles. ‘He say, I must kiss the bride.’

             
‘Oh? So, we’re like married?’

             
He nods. ‘You are now my property. I own you.’

             
I giggle and whisper, ‘Fuck off, I’m now your
wife.
’

             
He chuckles. ‘You are now my wife.’

             
I laugh. ‘I’m Payton Cruz. Yay! What you waiting for, ya big lug? Kiss me, now!’

             
He obliges. We cut the cake then slow dance on the terrace.
O
verwhelmed with love
, I can only gaze at my husband.
I think he is too,
as at one point; we embrace until our heart beats match.

             
‘Diago?’ I whisper into his chest.

             
‘Si?’

             
‘I …you …’ I exhale loudly. ‘Nobody in this world loves you like I do.’

             
He smiles
.
‘I know that.’
             

             
Lunch is under a gazebo far from the house, away from FBI bugs. A small but beautiful wedding. What a birthday present. In spite of everything that has happened in the last few days and the imminent onslaught heading my way, I’m happy. How I wish I had a magic button to press which will allow me to only live in the moment.