Guarded Heart (15 page)

Kayla wanted a little sister so she was now in her car
seat pouting to us, “Daddy I want a sissy. Go back and tell the doctor I wanted
a sissy.” I was covering my smile with my hand…Wes could take this one. “Kayla
maybe the next baby will be a sissy, we will just have to keep trying until we
get you a sissy but I am pretty sure you will like your bubby when he gets here
just as much.” What was he talking about keep trying… um no. This little man I
was cooking was a huge surprise and if I would have been paying attention when
I was on the antibiotics I would have read the warnings and realized my pill
was less affective. I knew the baby factory was closed after this one for a
long while. Wes noticed my worried look on my face as I was registering what he
said. “I want to make lots of babies with you.”

I just chose to let that conversation go for a while.
When we arrived back to my place I decided to take the whole day off and Kayla
was just staying with me. Wes said his good byes and took off for the other
half of his day at work. I made a couple calls to share the news first to
Allison and then my boss at work. I let Wes tell his family because I knew he
was very excited to be having a boy.

I put Kayla down for a nap and was just about to get
dinner loaded into the crockpot for a slow cook throughout the afternoon when
the doorbell rang. I quickly made it to the door because I did not want to wake
Kayla. I never looked to see who it was and when I was standing in my doorway
facing my mother I almost slammed in back shut. Her gazed immediately dropped
to my belly and then back to meet my eyes with a look on her face as if she
just finished sucking on a lemon slice. “Well I guess Tony wasn’t exaggerating
you are knocked up…hm unmarried and pregnant. Wow Samantha you are really
making a complete mess of your life. I am completely disappointed in your
choices. I am going to have a bastard grandchild, well I will definitely not be
telling anyone about this situation.” She stood there staring at me shaking her
head…god damn selfish bitch. My anger was boiling, “Who the hell do you think
you are lady? First of all this is not YOUR GRANDCHILD you bitch. If you ever
show your face at my home again calling my unborn child a bastard…you will need
to be carried out of here. You are not welcomed and my choice of life is none
of your damn business. I am not alone you bitch my child’s father is very much
a part of my life. Leave now before I call the police and have you escorted
away.” I didn’t wait for her to respond I shut the door leaving her on the porch
with her mouth hanging open.

When I turned to walk back to the kitchen I heard, “What
is a Basserd Child?” Kayla was standing at the end of the hallway rubbing her
eyes holding her blanket. I told her that the lady at the door was a salesman
and she was not very good so I wasn’t going to buy anything. After about twenty
minutes I was able to get her into bed and back to sleep.

When Wes made it home I told him about my mother and her
surprise visit. He was less than happy but he had already heard enough stories
about her to know she was more than your typical high society rich bitch who
thought she was above everyone when in fact she had so many hidden skeletons
she could have here own graveyard.

He felt he needed to pamper me because I was treated
badly and made me promise I would not answer the door again if she showed up.

My cravings were so strange and when I started mixing
some abnormal items Wes was having a hard time stomaching my combinations but
being the amazing trooper he was he never tried to convince me that my dill
pickle and peanut butter mixture was just wrong.

It was two days before my sixth month mark and I noticed
I was having an extreme increase in my sex drive even though I normally would
not initiate anything I just felt disgusting. My belly was getting fuller and I
felt like a whale. I tried to hide myself from Wes when it came to my naked
body. He was always telling me I was sexy no matter what and I was desirable
but that is his job right to support me.

I woke up at about three in the morning on a Saturday
from a pretty intense sexual dream. I was so worked up due to the fact that in
the dream I was so close to an orgasm or at least it felt that way and then I
woke up to find I was completely tense. I wanted to scream I mean damn it why
did I wake up I felt so frustrated. I needed release and I knew it. I turned my
head toward Wes to see him still sleeping. I traced my fingertip across his
lips onto his cheek and down his neck. He stirred just slightly so I continued
down his chest until I reached the hem of his boxers. I paused for just a
moment before I slipped my hand into the front and down until I reached my
exact destination.

When I gripped him and lightly began to stroke he smiled,
“Mm baby does this mean I am about to get lucky…because I sure as hell can go
for some of you.” He began rubbing my leg and then tracing up higher until his
fingers lingered along my panties. A finger slid into the side to trace my
folds. Satisfied moans escaped me. “Damn baby you are so wet…were you dreaming
about me? You feel so ready that’s so sexy baby.” I told him I had a dream
about him and I woke up right before I was finished. He grinned and kissed me,
“Let me see what I can do about that…you need to cum baby and so do I. Let me
make you feel better.” He scooted in behind me and lowered his boxers to slowly
enter me from behind. We moaned together as the rhythm picked up and he slid in
and out of me so smoothly. It did not take long for me to begin to build I was
already so worked up and I started pushing back to meet his thrusts, “Oh Yeah!
Wes I am so close…oh yes!” He moaned loudly as I tensed around him. He kept
moving and rotating his hips in the perfect motion. He was rubbing my breast
and squeezing my hip as he started moving a little faster. “You have such an
amazing pussy baby, I need you more...I love being inside you…so fucking hot.
Damn baby you going to cum again? I’m getting closer but I want to feel you
once more…Cum for me again Sam.” I was still so unbelievably horny. I knew at
this moment my sexual drive was in high gear. Once he reached around and began
rubbing my clit in small circles it was all I needed to push me over the edge
again. He gripped me hips and began pumping into me harder and when I exploded
so did he. My toes curled as I screamed his name. He was tensed as he slowly
slid out of me and pulled me tightly against his chest to hold me.

“How’s my girl feel now? All better?” He placed a kiss on
my bare shoulder. Should I scream DAMN I AM SO GOOD! I was still coming down
from the last orgasm and my breathing was just getting back to normal. “That
was really…really damn good!” He laughed then he brought his mouth to my ear,
“If it is so good then why don’t we do it more? I could definitely use more of
you…I am starving for you baby.” I hated that I felt like I had to hide. I wish
I was more comfortable with my body, “Wes, I am sorry I just feel
self-conscious you know that…I feel like a whale and I want you to be attracted
to me without my big belly getting in the way…sorry.” He propped himself up and
turned me toward him. “First of all you are not a whale”, he placed his hand
onto my tummy then continued. “I think you are so beautiful Sam, you are carrying
my son…that doesn’t make you fat baby. You are giving me a beautiful gift,
something no one has. I love you so much you have always and will always be
adored. As for being attracted to you…oh honey you really have no clue do you.
I wake up horny for you and spend my entire day wanting you. Don’t feel like I
couldn’t want you…I always want you.”

I was looking into Wes’s eyes and I knew at that moment
it was time for me to open my mouth and say it. He deserved to hear it even
though I know he already knew. Hearing it though changes everything. I adored
this man and I had guarded my heart long enough. I reached up and placed my
hand onto his cheek as we stared into one another’s eyes. Here it goes, “Wesley,
I love you too…so damn much. I love you!” I wasn’t sure what was going on he
seemed shocked maybe or confused…I waited and just watched him. His lip
trembled and I knew then what his reaction meant. He was happy, “Baby you have
no idea how good it feels to hear you say that to me. I just needed to hear you
say it. I love you Samantha. You have completed me and I adore you…every single
part of you even the stubborn as hell parts. I want to spend the rest of life
making you happy baby. I want to get married Sam…” I felt my chest tighten…oh
no. He reached behind him into the nightstand that was now claimed for his
things when he stayed over and pulled out something. When he turned back to me
I noticed it was in fact a ring box. “Sam I have had this for over a month and
I was waiting for…hell I don’t know I guess the right time. You are an amazing
person and all I want is to take care of you and our family. I want to have
more babies with you and buy a big house with a swing set out back. I want to
have big family dinners and wake up on Christmas morning with a huge tree
overflowing with gifts that you and I stayed up late the night before perfectly
placing them there for our children…baby I promise I will love you forever and
spend every single day of my life making you happy. Sam will you marry me, make
me the happiest man alive and become my wife.”

I sat up and just stared forward…I felt like I couldn’t
breathe. What my god…what did he do that for. We have only been back together
for two months. I hadn’t realized I was crying and breathing hard until Wes
wrapped his arm around me hugging me to him. “Baby slow down just breathe…shh.
Sam I am sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. That was so not the reaction I was
hoping for…I’m sorry.” He sounded so sad…what was wrong with me?

I woke up to a lonely bed. Sunday morning Kayla would not
have him up this early…would she? I crawled out of bed and after making a quick
stop at the restroom and walked down the hallway and found the spare room
empty. When I entered the kitchen it was empty also. I looked out the window to
see Wes’s truck was gone. He never just takes off without saying bye and where
would he take off this early to?

I noticed a note folded on the counter with Sam written
in his handwriting and grabbed it quickly…

Sam,

You fell asleep so quickly last night we never had a
chance to finish talking. As I sat next to you watching you sleep my mind
wouldn’t stop. I know what I want Sam. I want you! I want to come home from
work every day to my family…You, Kayla and our little guy. I want you as my
wife. Then I started thinking that because of what that dumb fuck did to you…I
get the punishment. You judge me based on what he did. Can I live everyday
knowing that I may never be able to convince you that I WILL NOT HURT YOU! Can
I sit around and pretend that what I want doesn’t matter. I am not sure I can.
I love you so much Sam but last night when I asked you to marry me…that was
real. SO REAL! When you freaked out like marrying me was the worst thing
ever…it broke my heart Sam. I guess I just need some time. I took Kayla over to
my parents for breakfast. I’m going to help my dad with some things around the
house and I may be there late. I think me and Kayla will just stay at my place
tonight. I’ll call you later. Love you

I felt sick to my stomach. I was now sitting at the table
unable to control my tears and shaking with fear that I may lose Wes. I
couldn’t lose him but I was terrified that if I said yes he would figure out he
didn’t want it and I would be left a week before my wedding having to explain
to every guest why once again I wasn’t good enough.

Oh my god…he was right. He was not Tony! How could I
continue to push him away when he was not the man that cheated on me over and
over? Wes is so loving, caring, supportive and nurturing. Everything about him
is amazing and I feel so alive with him. I am so happy with him and spending my
life sharing the good and the bad…I know that he is who I want next to me every
morning that I wake up…so why the hell didn’t I say yes?

I dialed his number…it rang and rang then…

‘You got my machine leave a message!’

My heart sank when I got his voicemail. He had to be
ignoring me…he always has his phone close. I looked at the screen when it
started ringing Wes lite up the screen.
“Hello”,
I breathed quickly into
the phone. When I heard his mother’s sweet little voice I felt sad that it was
her calling and not Wes.
“Honey is everything okay? Wes has his hands full
right now and he just wanted me to make sure everything was okay.”
He talks
to his mom about everything so I was pretty sure she knew already but for him
to not call himself wasn’t right. I knew he had to be upset with me. I thought
he was acting like a baby…
“Yeah everything is okay, can you ask him to call
me whenever he gets a chance?”
She assured me she would and we hung up.

At about eleven thirty, I was beginning to get really
irritated. Four hours had passed and I knew he had to have had a chance to call
me by now. If he wanted to prove a point he was damn it. Now he was just
hurting my feelings.

Noon—One—Two—Three—Four here it was now five at night and
still no call. Fine if he wanted to be so damn childish I can play to. I got
dressed and decided I would leave and if he stopped by I would not be here. I
went to Allison’s and she was happy to see me I had not been there as much as I
had wanted to be. They were having a little trouble getting pregnant and I felt
that her seeing me with my pregnant belly may be a little hard on her.

We sat in front of her fireplace and talked while Mitch
made his way to the bedroom to watch some game on TV. After I told her
everything she agreed that I was too hard on Wes regarding marriage and that I
had to stop pushing him away because of Tony and his mistakes. They were in
fact just that ‘Tony’s Mistakes’. Her opinion changed after I told her about
calling him and still nothing. It was a few minutes passed six in the evening
now and no return call. “Even if he is hurting that is still wrong.”