Guilty Feet (23 page)

She disconnected immediately, as if she couldn’t wait to get on the case, and—who knows what had been the trigger?—at that very moment, as I put the receiver back in its cradle, I realised what I had done. I realised that I’d sent Sarah’s message to Dan from Joanna Hurst’s business address. And I knew exactly what people meant now when they said that they wished that the earth would open and swallow them up.

***

I wrapped up warmly that evening—polo-neck sweater, smart woollen trousers, full-length coat. It was bitterly cold, and if I hadn’t been so desperate to get out of the flat I’d have cancelled the arrangement I’d made with Marco.

He picked me up at the Corn Exchange, where I’d been gazing at the city’s Christmas lights, switched on the day before, and thinking about this time last year when Dan and I had been together and happy. The only cloud on the horizon then was me having just agreed to spend Christmas Day with my mother. And now there were so many damn clouds I felt as if I was being crushed by them.

He drove me to a chic restaurant overlooking the river a half-mile or so from my flat. It was huge, and for a Sunday evening extremely busy. I couldn’t help wondering where everyone came from. Leeds was a prospering city, all right, but there were dozens of restaurants just like this one and most of them were doing just as well. And it wasn’t even the Christmas party season yet.

It was one of those places that served sausage and mash for about fifteen quid a head, and justified it by adding some fancy-sounding gravy. But it was also the sort of place where you could have a single course without raising eyebrows, and after roast beef for lunch that suited me fine.

I ordered a Caesar salad and Marco went for some kind of chicken dish. We both had a glass of house wine—him red, me white. And as we waited for the food to arrive we chatted amiably about the weather in Spain and in England.

‘But if it was sun you were after,’ I said, thinking about my conversation with Giovanna on just this subject, ‘I’m surprised you didn’t go a bit further afield.’

‘It wasn’t the sun I went for,’ he said, looking into my eyes across the table. He left a bit of mystery hanging in the air and I asked the obvious question.

‘What was it you went for, then?’ I said.

‘I went to visit my father.’

I stared at him in a stupefied sort of way. ‘Your father?’

He nodded. ‘And, yes, I know I said I never wanted to lay eyes on the man, but he wrote to me, and...’ he shrugged. ‘Well, I thought I’d give him a chance.’

There were so many questions I didn’t know which to ask first. But I had to start somewhere. ‘What’s he doing in Spain?’

‘He lives there now. Has done for a few years.’

‘He’s not a criminal, is he?’ I said, for it is well known that most English gangsters eventually retire to Spain.

‘Not as far as I know,’ Marco said with a grin. ‘But he is very rich.’

‘That’s not the reason you went, though, is it?’

‘Of course not,’ he said, sounding genuinely hurt by such a suggestion.

I took a sip of my wine.

‘I presume you haven’t told Giovanna yet?’

‘No,’ Marco said. ‘I wanted to talk to you about it first. Things went well out in Spain, and I intend to keep in touch with my father, but I don’t know how my mother will take the news.’

It was obvious Giovanna hadn’t told him her own bit of news, and she was probably just as worried about how
he
would take
that
. It occurred to me there had probably never been a better time for both of them. But I couldn’t say so, not without giving too much away.

‘I think you should just be honest,’ I said. ‘I’ve got to know Giovanna quite well during the week, and I really don’t think she’d be too upset, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

‘But she thinks he’s a bastard,’ he said.

I shrugged. ‘Well, he is, isn’t he?’

‘Maybe he
was
, but he’s changed now. He wants to make things up to me.’

‘But is it that easy?’ I said, aware I was getting into dangerous territory. ‘I’m only trying to think how Giovanna might feel, and I imagine her greatest fear will be that you will get hurt.’

‘I know, but I’m a big bloke now. It’s up to me if I want to risk it.’

‘Well, that’s what you should tell her, then.’

Our food arrived then, and we didn’t speak again till the waiter left.

‘But won’t she be hurt when she finds out what I’ve been up to behind her back?’

I smiled at him, pleased that this was important to him.

‘A bit maybe,’ I said, trying to put myself in Giovanna’s shoes. ‘But if you don’t say
too
many nice things about your father she should be OK. So long as she doesn’t feel usurped by him in your affections.’

Marco shook his head emphatically. ‘That could never happen.’

‘Well, just make sure she knows that and it’ll be fine. She’s a good woman, your mother. She’ll understand that knowing your father is important to you. Even if he is a rich bastard.’

He grinned again, and then told me some more about his trip. His father was divorced from the woman he’d been married to when he’d had his affair with Giovanna. He was now married to a twenty-eight-year-old former beauty queen from Essex, who was apparently as thick as the worst cliché about beauty queens, but she seemed very fond of his father.

I asked if he had any half brothers and sisters, and he said that he had but since his father was now estranged from them he didn’t expect to meet them.

‘Do you think that’s why he contacted you?’ I asked. ‘Because he’s lost touch with his other children?’

‘I reckon so,’ Marco said, without seeming to mind very much.

‘I wouldn’t tell Giovanna that bit,’ I said. ‘
You
might be OK with it, but she might not like the fact that he’s only showing an interest now because there’s no one else.’

Marco picked up his glass and looked at me slyly over the brim. ‘But if there’s no one else, who do you think he’ll leave all his money to?’

I was shocked. ‘I thought you said you weren’t interested in his money!’

He shrugged. ‘I’m not—necessarily. But you can’t blame me if I see it as a potential bonus.’

And if I was honest I didn’t suppose that I could.

We didn’t bother with coffee. I said that I had to get back early because of work in the morning, and he insisted on walking me to the entrance to my flat, when he dropped me off.

Though I didn’t go into any details, I’d already mentioned that my father was staying with me, so there was no question of asking him up. With all that had happened I’d almost forgotten that he’d kissed me before he’d left for Spain—that he’d said he couldn’t wait to do it again.

But now, just as I was about to put the key in the front door lock, he took hold of my shoulders, manoeuvred me into a kissing position, and did it again. And this time he groaned with pleasure.

I think I groaned with pleasure myself, as a matter of fact.

‘I’ve been wanting to do that all night,’ he said when he finally broke off for air. And, although it was one of the oldest lines in the book, although I certainly hadn’t felt the same way myself, I didn’t spoil things by mentioning it.

‘Can we meet again soon?’ he asked softly as he pecked at my nose.

And because it didn’t seem too bad an idea, and because—let’s face it—I’d blown it once and for all with Dan, I said, ‘OK how about Tuesday?’

He said OK as well, and that was the beginning of what was to prove a pretty wild affair between me and my father’s girlfriend’s son.

Chapter Eighteen

It was the last working day of our third week back in business, and although the place where we worked hadn’t changed, the atmosphere was completely different now. We’d taken on eight additional employees so far and because we were all in a large open-plan office there was absolutely no sense of
them
—management—and
us
—staff—as there had been in the past. Two more would be joining the team on Monday, and although the temptation was to continue expanding that was to be it for a while. Sid was determined not to make the same mistakes as our predecessors. He wanted to keep things manageable, take it easy, step by step, and not get carried away with early success. I agreed with him wholeheartedly.

He was also very careful about choosing personnel. We had used Nicola’s recruitment firm, but Sid turned a lot more away than he took on. He was also adamant about not employing anyone who’d worked for Pisus in its former incarnation. He said they might bring old habits back with them. If this was in any way intended to be a warning to me about my old habits, it did the trick nicely. I’d pulled on reserves I didn’t even know I had, and I’d been working far harder than I ever had before in my life. From seven in the morning till ten at night wasn’t unusual, and the odd thing was that I was actually enjoying myself. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up that kind of pace for ever, but until things were on a firmer footing, until we both felt really secure, I reckoned I’d be able to manage. I suppose it helped my motivation that I was a partner, of sorts, but I like to think that I’d have worked just as hard anyway.

It was playing havoc with my love life, however. I was having great sex with Marco, when we could find the time, but there wasn’t too much time left for romance. Which I have to admit quite suited me. For the first time in my life I was having that thing I’d only read about in the past—
recreational
sex
. And because Dad was still living with me, and because Marco—being a good Italian boy—still shared a house with his mother, we were doing it anywhere we could. His car being the current favourite venue.

His mother had been fine about his little secret, and he, on the whole, was OK about hers. He did seem concerned that my dad was still married, but he had to admit that my father wasn’t like his, and he could see for himself how happy they were. We’d had dinner with them the previous weekend, and the way they behaved—sickening, really—it was as if
they
were the young ones in love. Giovanna was thrilled that Marco and I were together, which bothered me a bit. I think she already had us married off in her mind, and I was certain that wasn’t ever likely to happen.

I’d just put the phone down on Marco, as a matter of fact. He’d called to ask to see me later, but I’d told him that I had a deadline to meet—a report to finish for Monday. He’d suggested I work on it over the weekend, and I’d said I would have to anyway, which wasn’t a total lie. But mostly I just wanted some time to myself, and it was easier to blame it on the report.

‘Is it still OK for tomorrow night?’ I’d asked, and the receiver had felt a bit frosty against my ear. I was supposed to be taking him along to meet up with Nicola. She’d invited Sid and me, plus guests, for an all-expenses-paid night out on the town by way of a thank you for the business we’d already put her way and—more importantly, I suspect—for that which she hoped to get in the future. ‘Should be fine,’ he had said, moodily, annoyed with me for turning him down.

‘Well, let me know if it
isn’t
fine,’ I’d said, and had put the phone down on him.

I wasn’t in the mood for childishness, and besides, I could see Sid’s sisters heading across the office towards me. Which must mean that it was getting on for four-thirty. It was becoming a habit for them to hop on a bus after school and head into the city, still dressed in their uniforms that they adjusted en route
à
la
early Britney Spears.

I glanced over at Sid and saw the look of exasperation on his face. I thought it quite funny that he could start up a company but still have no control over his teenage sisters. He’d even complained to his mother about them, but she was presumably too busy with Feng Shui consultations to keep a tight rein on her girls.

He turned his back on them now, and when they saw this they pulled their tongues out at him and grinned when they realised I’d seen them.

‘You should show more respect for your brother when you come here,’ I told them sternly as they draped themselves over my desk. I was getting to know them pretty well now, and there was no longer any need for pussyfooting about.

There wasn’t a contrite expression amongst them, however, just the odd shrug and cheeky glance in the direction of the embarrassed young man that Sid had recently taken on straight from school on account of his technical wizardry. He was an additional attraction, but the real reason they came to the office was to see little old me. Not entirely for myself, it must be admitted, but for my claim to fame—the fact that I had once been kissed by Jamie Astin. I’d mentioned it the first time they came in for a nosy around—because up until then no one else had seemed very interested—and it had taken my cred up several notches in their eyes. They were also impressed with the fact that I was going out with the ‘gorgeous hunk’ from the Italian, and, sad though it was, I was rather enjoying their admiration.

‘We hear you’re going to Zoot tomorrow night,’ Darinda said wondrously. I was getting used to which one was which now.

‘We’re going to a club, yes,’ I said, ‘but I don’t know which one yet.’

‘Is Marco going to be there?’ Belle purred.

I nodded and saved the work I was doing in case one of them started messing with my computer—which they were apt to do when they got bored.

‘Can we come?’ Marinda asked silkily, stroking the desk as she spoke.

‘Of course you can’t come,’ I told her firmly.

‘Is it true that Cass is going?’ Darinda asked incredulously. They were getting used to the idea that Sid had a girlfriend, but they weren’t that excited about his choice.

‘I know she’s your friend..?’ This was their usual start to a moan about her, and that was exactly what Belle said now. ‘But she’s sOOO dull.’

By now Sid and Cass were like an old married couple. She’d told me that she’d decided not to join us at Pisus because she didn’t think people who had a relationship should work together—which might well be prudent, but the girls were right. It did all seem a bit dull and sensible. Sometimes even I wondered what I saw in her. To be honest, since I’d become friendly with Nic I occasionally compared the two of them, and poor Cass didn’t come off too favourably. But she was still my friend and I felt honour-bound to defend her.

‘She was the first in our year at school to get her gold Duke of Edinburgh award,’ I said, unable to come up with anything better.

When they looked at me blankly, I dug deep into my Cass-anecdote reserves and came up with absolutely nothing that could be remotely described as exciting.

‘And she’s very dependable,’ I said in desperation, sounding the death knell for Cass’s appeal value once and for all.

‘They suit each other,’ Marinda eventually said, though there was nothing complimentary about the remark. ‘But what about you and Marco?’

‘What about me and Marco?’ I said carefully.

‘Do you love him?’ asked Darinda.

‘None of your business,’ I replied crisply. But I knew the answer if I’d chosen to give it. Of course I didn’t love Marco. Apart from the sex, I wasn’t even sure I liked him that much. Now I knew him better I could see that there was a ruthless streak in him I didn’t find especially appealing. There seemed to be no disputing the fact that he loved his mother, but I was still pretty annoyed with him for arranging to go and stay with his long-lost father over the Christmas holidays. He seemed to think I was overreacting. He couldn’t see any problem now that Giovanna had my dad. But I couldn’t help thinking that he’d have gone anyway.

‘Cass told me that you used to live with a music writer,’ Marinda said in a starry-eyed sort of way, and my stomach did a little flip. ‘What sort of music does he write about?’

I hadn’t heard a word from him since that hugely embarrassing gaffe I’d made, when I’d blown my cover as Sarah Daly. For a while I’d hoped that the e-mail had never got to him, but that seemed less and less likely now. I was sure that he would have written to Sarah by now if it hadn’t, if only to find out how things were working out with her ex....I still couldn’t think of the whole horrible nightmare without physically cringing, and I prayed each day that I wouldn’t bump into him in the street.

I knew what the girls would want to hear, so I told them what I’d learnt in my Sarah Daly days.

‘Last thing I heard he was doing a book on VantagePoint.’

‘VantagePoint!’ they squealed as one.

‘How cool is that?’ sighed Darinda dreamily.

‘Do you think he could get their autographs for us?’ asked Belle.

I was about to say that I didn’t think so, but then I thought of a way for Cass to redeem herself in Sid’s sisters’ eyes.

‘I’ll speak to Cass about it,’ I said. ‘I’m not in touch with Dan any more, but I could get her to call him and ask, if you like.’

And they seemed to like that very much.

***

Libby and Nigel had spent the past forty minutes loading her stuff into his car. She’d given the landlord notice that morning, and although she still had a month to vacate the flat she had been keen to make a start. A lot keener than Nigel, apparently, who seemed very worried about his car.

‘It’s not a removal van,’ he said in exasperation as Libby tried cramming the last of the cardboard boxes onto the back seat. He shook his head firmly. ‘It’s not going to fit so you’ll just have to take it back.’

‘OK, OK,’ she said with a sigh. The last thing she wanted was an argument—not now when things were going so well. Now that the cheque had arrived from her former employers, and now that Nigel had agreed to let her move into his place. He’d taken a lot of convincing to give it a go and she didn’t want him regretting his decision already.

‘You get in the car,’ she said sweetly now, ‘and I’ll be back in a minute.’

She took the box back up to the flat, locked the door, and slipped quietly back down the stairs. She was anxious to avoid Dan and Aisling, neither of whom she had seen in over three weeks, and it looked as if she had succeeded. Or so she thought until she reached the hallway again and the door of Aisling’s flat opened up.

‘I’ve been getting worried about you,’ she said.

Aisling moved into the hall and looked out of the open front door at Nigel’s car, chock-full with boxes.

‘Nice car.’

She sounded impressed, and, pleased about this, Libby dropped her guard for a moment.

Then, ‘You weren’t planning on moving without telling us, I hope,’ Aisling said, turning to look at her.

Libby felt extremely uneasy now. It was something about Aisling’s demeanour. She was usually so dizzy and silly, but right now she seemed deadly serious. Even her normally shrill voice had dropped an octave or two.

‘Of course I was going to tell you,’ she said. ‘I only gave notice today.’

‘It’s all a bit sudden, though, isn’t it?’

‘It has been a bit whirlwind, I suppose,’ said Libby as she tried to move round her. But Aisling stood firm.

‘Before you rush off, maybe you can explain what happened that day in the Victoria Quarter.’

‘Look, I’m really sorry about that,’ Libby said with an apologetic sigh, ‘but something happened and I’m afraid I’d sooner not talk about it, if you don’t mind.’ She tried passing Aisling again, but Aisling was definitely not to be moved.

‘I know exactly what happened,’ she said. ‘I spoke to Baz and, darling man that he is, he gave me Paul’s number.’ She smiled serenely at Libby, and then looked out at Nigel again. ‘I’d bet he’d be interested to know all about Paul and his vinyl collection,’ she said.

‘You wouldn’t!’

‘I would,’ Aisling said. ‘And I will if you don’t cough up for the damage you did to Dan’s CDs.’

Libby laughed hollowly. ‘You can’t pin that one on me.’

‘Oh, yes, I can. I’ve spoken to Jo, and I know how you got hold of her scarf.’

Just then Nigel stretched round to look at the door of the house, and beeped the car horn.

‘He’s getting impatient,’ Aisling said. ‘And that makes two of us.’ She took a step over the threshold of the door towards him.

Libby, shaking with anger now, caught her arm roughly. ‘OK,’ she said fuming. ‘How much?’

‘Now, let’s think,’ Aisling said, frowning a little. ‘Approximately one hundred CDs at fourteen quid each...that would be fourteen hundred pounds.’ She smiled again. ‘But we’ll call it a straight thousand, shall we?’

‘A thousand!’ Libby said, shaking her head in disbelief. ‘Where am I supposed to find that sort of money?’

Aisling continued on down the path. ‘Of course you can find it, Libby. Thanks to your little windfall.’ She shook her head sadly. ‘I’ve learnt so much about you lately, including the fact that your poor
deceased
father is actually alive and well and living with your mother in Tottenham. Paul was ever so helpful.’