Guilty Feet (25 page)

‘What’s the joke?’ Cass mouthed to me as she sashayed around on the dance floor.

‘Did you ring Dan about those autographs?’ I mouthed back at her.

She nodded. ‘He was great. Really nice about it.’

Then a worrying thought struck me.

‘You didn’t mention me, I hope?’

‘After your threats?’ She grinned. ‘Of course not.’

I grinned back at her and she indicated with a few deft hand signals that she was going to the cloakroom. Which left me with two men to dance with—and I made the most of it. If Marco was sulking—well, so be it. It wasn’t going to stop me enjoying myself.

***

Dan felt someone squeezing into the gap next to him and when he looked round he was surprised to see it was Cass. He’d been leaning on the rail that surrounded the dance floor for the past few minutes, not really taking much in.

‘I thought you hated this scene,’ she said, straining her voice to be heard over the music.

‘I do,’ he yelled back. ‘I was dragged here kicking and screaming.’

‘You’re not on your own, then?’

He pointed the bottle he was holding vaguely in the direction of Steve and Aisling.

‘As good as,’ he mouthed at her wryly. ‘What about you? Where’s the new boyfriend?’

She squinted, and then pointed at someone who didn’t look old enough to be in the club.

‘That’s Sid,’ she said proudly. ‘And you’ll recognise who he’s dancing with.’

His stomach lurched at the sight of Jo, but it was the other man, the one next to Sid, that his eyes rested upon. He wasn’t the bloke she’d been with before.

‘Is that who she’s with?’ he found himself asking.

Cass shook her head. ‘No, he’s with Nic.’

‘Nic?’

‘Yes,’ said Cass with a roll of her eyes. ‘Nicola Dick. She and Jo are best buddies now.’

‘But I thought they hated each other,’ Dan said, frowning.

‘So did I.’ She turned round and stretched her neck, as if to look for someone over the crowd, and he followed her eyes. He could see Nicola Dick at the end of the bar, and he could see some dark-haired bloke kissing her. He looked back at Cass questioningly.

‘So if the bloke on the dance floor is with her, who...?’

‘Precisely,’ Cass said soberly, though he didn’t know what she was talking about.

She started to move away from him in a purposeful manner, but he caught her arm.

‘Don’t tell Jo that you saw me,’ he said quickly, and she paused for a moment and looked at him straight in the eye. ‘OK,’ she said. ‘If that’s what you want.’

***

‘What the...?’

Cass had grabbed my arm and was frog-marching me through the crowd. I was trying my best to free myself, but she can be very strong when she is determined and she was very determined now to take me somewhere.

She stopped suddenly and I looked at her indignantly. She was staring straight ahead of her, and because she was so transfixed my eyes were eventually drawn that way as well.

I couldn’t take it in for a moment.

Nic and Marco.

Nic and Marco kissing.

Nic and Marco eating each other’s faces off.

I looked back at Cass and wondered why she was doing this. I was actually mad with her for a moment, and then I looked over at Nic and Marco again. This time Nic was looking at me, over Marco’s shoulder. They’d obviously paused for breath for a moment, but instead of appearing remotely shamefaced she actually seemed very pleased with herself.

‘I’m sorry,’ I heard Cass say, and I believed that she was. To a point. Though I would not have been at all surprised if she wasn’t getting the teeniest bit of enjoyment from this. And who could blame her? The way I’d been flaunting my so-called friendship with Nic of late, it was only natural that she should feel some sort of satisfaction.

‘What are you going to do?’ Cass asked, and she sounded worried now.

I shrugged. ‘Nothing. We’re even now. She’s finally got me back for stealing her boyfriend all those years ago. Sad cow.’ Cass looked at me, and I continued to look at Nic.

‘But what about Marco?’ Cass asked. ‘Aren’t you upset about him?’

Just then Nic released Marco from her clutches, whispered something to him, and he turned around.

‘Not in the least,’ I said, though even with the distance between us I could see the blood drain from his face. And I meant it. In fact I meant it so much that I lifted my fingers to my mouth and blew him a cheerful farewell kiss. Then I did it again, and this time directed the kiss towards Nic.

She didn’t look so pleased about that, but before Marco could come after me and tell me how none of it had been his fault I turned on my four-and-a-half-inch heels and, with my head held high, disappeared into the crowd. I headed straight for the exit, and it was only when I was outside in my ridiculously revealing dress that I realised I’d left my coat and handbag. That took the edge off my grand gesture a little, and I was standing around feeling a little bit silly when I felt a tap on my bare shoulder.

Expecting that Marco had followed me out, I spun round and nearly collapsed in a heap when one of my heels twisted under my foot. Two sturdy arms caught me, though, just in time, and I looked into the smiling eyes of Tim Bailey.

‘Are you OK?’ he wanted to know, still supporting me beneath my elbows.

‘Fine, fine...’ I said, feeling a fully blown fool by now. He was with a short blonde who was aiming daggers at me from narrowed eyes. ‘What about you?’ I said, glancing back at the club entrance. ‘Are you just leaving or going in?’ I was talking fast, hoping he wouldn’t ask any awkward questions.

‘Going in,’ he said, frowning, a question mark forming in his expression. Then I saw Cass in the doorway, heading my way with my coat and my bag, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

‘I was just leaving,’ I said. And then Sid appeared and Tim finally let go of me. They exchanged a few words and I watched the miniature blonde take hold of Tim’s arm and glance disapprovingly at my dress as I slipped my coat over it.

‘We should all get together some time,’ Tim said, looking at me as he spoke.

‘Nice-looking bloke,’ Cass said as we parted from Tim and the dwarf.

‘Boring, though, unfortunately,’ I said, and then I felt bad. He’d been really good about what happened, about the email I’d sent. He’d sent me one back saying that he understood completely.

‘Boring and
engaged
,
’
Sid said. ‘Didn’t you notice that the small person was wearing a ring?’

I shook my head in despair. If someone like Tim was a two-timing toe-rag, what hope was there?

I sighed and linked arms with Cass, who in turn linked arms with Sid, and we set off-down the road away from the club.

‘What happened inside after I left?’ I wanted to know.

‘Marco tried to come after you,’ Cass said as we headed down the street, ‘but I told him it might be best if he left it tonight.’

‘It might be best if he left it for the rest of his life,’ I said.

‘But what about your father and Giovanna? Marco could end up as your stepbrother, so you’ll have to be civilised about it all.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I said, ‘I intend to be. I just mean that I don’t want to have to listen to his excuses.’ Then I looked over at Sid. ‘Would it seem very small-minded of me if we looked elsewhere for staff in the future?’

‘What?’ he said, pretending to be shocked. ‘After all the expense and trouble Nic went to tonight?’

‘Exactly,’ I said.

We laughed for a bit, and then Sid and Cass looked at one another.

‘Are we going to tell her,’ he said.

‘Are you going to tell me
what
?
’
I said, looking at Cass. We were crossing the road on the way to the taxi rank now. She smiled coyly, and then nodded at Sid.

‘We’re getting engaged,’ he said solemnly.

‘Engaged!’ I repeated stupidly.

‘Yes,’ said Cass, squeezing my arm, ‘
engaged
.’

‘And we’d like you to come to my house next Saturday night for a small celebration,’ said Sid.

Chapter Twenty

Our mother has finally gone completely off her trolley. I’m not going to tell you what she’s done/doing—that’s up to her—but I warn you, you’re in for a shock!

No good trying to get hold of me over the next few days as I’m going away on a business trip. Thank God.

I’d been worried ever since that e-mail arrived from Matt at the beginning of the week. I’d thought about phoning my mother, but part of me didn’t want to know what was going on so worrying about it was as far as I got. And what with that, and everything else that had happened during the week, I was practically pulling my mad hair out by the time I got back to the flat—thankfully early—that following Friday evening.

It had been crazy at work, in a good sort of way—hard graft and long hours, but things were going incredibly well. We’d taken on a brand-new client that would mean a phenomenal increase in our turnover if everything went according to plan. I don’t think even Sid could believe our luck—and me, well, I kept trying to work out what five per cent of such a whacking great contract would mean to my bank balance. And, though I knew that things weren’t really quite as simple and straightforward as all that, it was certainly very encouraging.

So it wasn’t work that had got to me, but all the distractions. Marco had kept ringing the office, and although I managed to avoid him until Wednesday morning, I’d realised he wasn’t going to let me off the hook until I agreed to see him.

We met during my ten-minute lunch-break, and as we walked up and down outside the office building, and I ate my cheese and pickle sandwich
al
fresco
, he said exactly what I’d expected him to say all along. That it had all been Nic’s fault. That she’d practically forced herself upon him. Poor thing...I was really nice about it—because I didn’t want to cause any waves with our parents, and because frankly I really didn’t care very much. I accepted his half-hearted apologies, but I was adamant about it being over. To put his mind at rest, however, I told him my cheesy lips were sealed as far as Giovanna was concerned. We couldn’t stop her being disappointed that it hadn’t worked out for us, but
I
could stop her being furious with him. And I think he was very grateful for that.

Nic was a different matter altogether, though. She’d obviously come round to the conclusion that her childish behaviour might lose her some business, and she’d kept leaving messages for me as well. I let her sweat it out till Thursday afternoon before returning her calls, only to discover that she’d taken the ‘you’re overreacting’ route. She claimed that what had occurred had been little more than a peck on the cheek, so I said that if that was her idea of a ‘peck’ I shuddered to think what she did when she really got started in a public place. She laughed uneasily at that point, and suggested that we meet after work for a drink. I like to think that if she’d come clean, if she’d only been honest about what had happened, and why, I would have been as nice to her as I’d been to Marco. But she didn’t, and wasn’t, so I took a deep breath and told her, politely, to sling her hook. And I felt quite good about it, actually.

Dad had been pacing about the flat since I got back. He was dreading my mother coming back the following Monday, fearful of what her reaction would be when she found out about Giovanna. He hadn’t been too troubled at first, but now it was looking serious between them he was getting more anxious by the day. I hadn’t told him about my brother’s worrying message yet. I couldn’t see the point of adding to Dad’s troubles when I didn’t even know what Matt was talking about.

With no time for personal e-mails at work these days, I’d been checking my mail every night when I got back. I did it again now, when I went to my room. And when I saw there was a message waiting from my mother I caught my breath sharply. Until now I’d refused to let my imagination run wild, but it unleashed itself now and a variety of possibilities came into my mind—all of them extremely alarming. Which was good, in a way, because when I read what she had to say it didn’t seem nearly as bad as it could have been.

I have at last found my spiritual home in California and I’m staying here.

I must say that I am very disappointed with your brother’s response to my news. He has been very offhand with me and I have decided not to speak to him until he can behave more civilly. You’d think I’d told him I had committed mass murder instead of informing him in an open and grown-up manner that I have decided to stay in order to explore my sexuality.

I am moving in with Angelica, Matthew’s neighbour. She is a fine woman and we are very much in love.

I trust you will take this news rather better than your brother did, and I would like you to inform your father that I will soon be commencing divorce proceedings. I realise this will come as a very great shock to him, but Angelica agrees with me that I should move on to this next phase of my life unencumbered by the past.

PS Why don’t you come out and stay with us for Christmas?

Your Ever Loving Mother

When I got over the shock of the way she’d signed off, I sat there in front of my screen for five full minutes while I thought about the implications of this latest bombshell. The first thing that struck me was that my dad was very much off the hook, which should please him. Unfortunately, though, it did mean that Matt was very much on it. His worst nightmare had come to pass. His mother would be living next door to him. I think I laughed then. At the thought of poor Matthew having to cope with our once excruciatingly bourgeois mother who was now ‘exploring her sexuality’ right under his nose.

I decided that it served him right for being the favourite!

***

The books had arrived that morning, and they were looking surprisingly good. Dan had been expecting the worst, considering how quickly it had all been put together, but the cover was pleasantly eye-catching, with a picture of the five members of VantagePoint looking suitably roguish and yet at the same time reassuringly wholesome. And he didn’t even squirm at the sight of his name written large on the front.

The publishers had sent twenty copies for his own use, and three of them, as had been promised, were signed by each of the five band members. They’d obviously been pleased with the results themselves judging by the trouble they’d gone to, writing personal messages to each of the sisters. And, having a pretty good idea how girls of that age responded to that sort of thing, he was fairly confident that Cass’s popularity would soar after this.

He’d tried calling her earlier, but she wasn’t in, and now, at eight, before he cracked on with some work that had come in during the week, he tried her number again.

She was in this time, and for someone who didn’t show her emotions much Cass was unusually gushing in her gratitude.

‘How can I get them to you?’ he interrupted in order to shut her up.

‘I could come and pick them up from you,’ she said, after thinking about it for a moment. ‘Tomorrow some time?’

‘OK,’ he said, ‘let’s make it p.m., though, because I’ve got some shopping to do in the morning.’

***

I had to speak to someone, and to my great relief Cass was available. Sid had been ordered home to help with the preparations for the engagement celebration, and for the first time in weeks Cass was at a loose end.

Dad was relieved as well. It meant he’d have some time with Giovanna on their own in the flat. I took the smile off his face when I gave him a copy of the e-mail from my mother. I watched him as he read it, saw his mouth drop open in shock.

‘My God!’ he finally gasped. ‘The woman’s finally flipped!’

‘Maybe,’ I said, ‘but I think you should get the divorce rolling quickly, though, before she changes her mind.’

He was sitting on the sofa, and he looked up at me now and frowned.

‘Isn’t it a bit unusual, this? Aren’t kids supposed to try and keep their parents together?’

‘Is that what you want me to do?’

‘Well, no, but...’

‘I’m not seven, Dad. My world isn’t going to fall apart if my parents divorce now.’

Dad was quiet for a moment, and then his eyes drifted back to the e-mail.

‘Barbara Dick will certainly have to go some to top this,’ he said, and he actually laughed.

I left him then, and took a taxi across the city to Cass’s place. The Christmas lights looked wonderful, and reminded me of Dan again. I had the sudden urge to ring him and tell him about my mother. He’d have found it hilarious that the woman who’d looked down her nose at him because he didn’t have a regular income, because he didn’t fit in with her stuffy friends, had now set up home with someone called Angelica.

Cass could be a very good listener when she chose to be. I’d been neglecting her lately, since I’d started my so-called friendship with Nic, but now, as we sat in her neat little flat, drinking sensible herbal tea on her flowery sofa, it was like old times.

‘You seem to have overlooked something,’ she said, when I’d told her about my mother’s latest escapade.

I looked at her curiously.

‘If she’s not coming back in the foreseeable future, there’s a house going begging in Staley.’

Apart from rolling her eyes, she hadn’t even commented on my mother’s change of sexual orientation. Typically, she seemed far more concerned with practical matters.

‘I had hoped that Dad would move back there while Mum was away,’ I said, ‘but he didn’t seem to fancy that idea very much.’

‘I was thinking of
you
,
’
she said. ‘It’s you that’s looking for somewhere to live.’

‘Me!’ I said, shocked. ‘Go and live back at home?’

‘It wouldn’t be like that if your parents weren’t there. Think of the space and the comfort. Think of that Aga in winter.’

‘But I couldn’t leave Leeds.’

‘I don’t mean forever just until you sort something else out.’

‘What about work?’ I said lamely.

‘It’s only half an hour on the train. You can take that long to cross Leeds in rush hour. It used to take you longer than that to get back to Dan’s from the city centre.

‘And, talking of Dan,’ she said, looking at me, ‘he really has been great about everything.’

‘That’s nice.’ I said. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about Dan to Cass. I was afraid she might wheedle things out of me.

But she was clearly on some kind of mission, and kept mentioning him until I found myself telling her everything. About Libby, about Aisling, about the smashed CDs, and, yes, even about Sarah fixing up a date with Dan and me turning up instead with Tim.

She was wearing blue fleecy pyjamas with teddy bears printed on them, but she still managed to look sensible and wise as she listened to me pouring my heart out. I was so sure she was going to be sympathetic that it came as a shock when she eventually shook her head and told me that I was a crazy bitch who should immediately seek psychiatric help...

***

Dan was checking his e-mails before he switched off his computer. He occasionally still half expected to receive a message from Sarah Daly. He kind of missed her, he supposed. Which was mad now that he knew it had been Jo all the time.

There
was
an e-mail—from Jedski. And whereas he would normally be amused by the man’s harmless form of madness, tonight it made him feel depressed. He’d written to tell him about the website he was currently building, and to thank him for the brilliant idea. Trouble was, while he might well have much wider tastes than Jedski, it suddenly occurred to Dan that if he wasn’t damn careful he might end up a sad old obsessive himself; with little going on in his life apart from music.

On the spur of the moment he tapped out a quick response.

Get
a
bloody
life for
God’s
sake,
Jedski
.

Dan

***

We’d sat in silence for quite some time after Cass’s outburst. And then, because I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, and because I was peeved at being labelled a psycho, I asked her if she was sure she was doing the right thing by getting engaged to Sid.

‘You’ve only known him a month,’ I said, ‘and he is a lot younger than you are.’

She looked at me for a moment, and then nodded her head.

‘I’m sure, all right,’ she simply said, and I kind of envied her certainty.

She sent me packing soon after that, and I was relieved to find my father alone when I got back to the flat. He was sleeping contentedly on his sofa bed, snoring softly, making a sound like a single engine plane coming in to land. And as I crept around him, trying not to trip over his cardboard boxes, I realised that Cass might have a point about me moving back home for a while.

It was getting really difficult there in the flat, especially now that I was avoiding Giovanna because of Marco. It seemed easier that way than having to lie about why we’d split up. She’d been asking Dad about it, of course, and I’d told him it was a mutual thing, that we’d sooner be friends. But while Dad was a cinch with that sort of thing, I didn’t think Giovanna would be. I had a feeling she’d coax the truth out of me yet. The
whole
truth—the fact that I didn’t care about the break-up with Marco anywhere near as much as I cared about the break-up with Dan. I know how mothers feel about their sons, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.