Gypsy Jane - I've Been Shot Four Times and Served Three Prison Terms?This is the Incredible Story of (17 page)

I went to bed and that’s where I stayed for the next few weeks. Thank God for my son. He looked after me, brought me food and walked my dogs. I was an emotional wreck. In all my life I had never been so low. I was like a zombie, just lying in bed with my two dogs and the cats around me. My John came every day and kept begging me to snap out of it. ‘This isn’t you, Mum,’ he would say. ‘Pull yourself out of it and come back home. Don’t be like this, Mum.’

But I just couldn’t move. I was so wrapped up in my own misery. My poor boy had never seen me like that before and it frightened him. He kept saying everything would be OK but he didn’t know what was wrong with me because I couldn’t open up to him. He was my boy and I couldn’t tell him about Bob. I was too ashamed. As parents, we protect our kids. I didn’t want to drown him in my misery. I just kept saying, ‘I’ll be OK.’ But I was far from OK. A woman can only take so much.

I was so unhappy, my mind played tricks on me. Was it me? Was Bob really that bad? I had second thoughts and I texted him dozens of times but he blanked me. I begged him to get off the drugs and that, despite everything I’d told him, we might still be able to work at it. I asked his dad to give him my messages and I sent
flowers, chocolates and even bottles of champagne round to his mum to say sorry for the position we had put them in. He had moved back in with them and they were caught in the middle. And his dad was so lovely, always keeping hold of the hope, like me, that Bob would get off the drugs. I knew, in my head, it was over but, in my heart, I was still hoping. Love had crippled me and Bob was blanking me.

I kept phoning Toni. I needed a friend. I needed her to come and tell me everything was going to be OK. But she never came. She always had an excuse and, before long, she started to blank my calls altogether. My boy told me daily it was going to be OK but I couldn’t tell him what a mess I was in. I just couldn’t. I started to cry and I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop thinking about Matt. Oh, what have I done? I thought. I had been so angry with Matt since he had been killed and now I needed him more than I’d ever needed him in my life. My poor Matt, I thought. Shot dead at 42. The tears came and I couldn’t stop crying. I hadn’t cried in years. Well, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried.

I kept texting Toni and told her I thought I had finally started to grieve for Matt because I couldn’t stop crying and thinking about him. My eyes looked like I’d been punched, they were so swollen. Toni was always crying and I texted her that I now knew she was just pretending, as she was always dolled up and there was no way she would look the way she did if she had been crying for real. At last, I texted that I was going to drive
round to show her my face. I couldn’t believe the way I was. I had never been like this before, ever. Still dressed in my pyjamas, I jumped into my car and drove to hers. I beeped her when I arrived but her daughter came out and said she wasn’t in. I just drove back home and got back into bed. I was gutted. She could have texted me back if she wasn’t going to be there.

Then, out of the blue, something told me to get up and sort myself out. I told myself that this wasn’t fair on my John. He should be out enjoying his life and not worrying and looking after me. When he came round the next day, I was up and he smiled the loving smile I didn’t deserve and gave me a big hug. My boy was the best son any mother could have. Despite everything I’d done and put him through, he never judged me, never doubted me and he was always there for me, no matter what. I love you so much, John. You always make me so proud.

I was up now and I took the dogs down to the river for a walk. I had my own spot on the bank where I’d go to find peace. I’d made a little opening to get away from the path and down the bank to the river’s edge. I had two rottweilers and I needed both to pull me back up again because the drop was so steep. This was my place of sanctuary, where my dogs and I went for solitude. I loved it.

I was back to being me and, once more, I was pissed off with Toni. Where was she when I needed her? So I texted her yet again and she still ignored me. This time,
though, I wasn’t crying but boiling with rage. I thought, Some best friend. Now I’d had enough. I hadn’t heard from her or Bob. I went to her house with a can of black spray paint and sprayed ‘wrong ’un’ and ‘slag’ across the windows.

She soon came out. ‘What the fuck is your game?’

‘What the fuck is my game? You cheeky slag,’ I replied, reaching into my motor for my Maglite torch – the same type used by the police. It was massive. I grabbed it, jumped away from the car and smashed it down onto her head as hard as I could. ‘That’s for not answering your phone, slag!’ I screamed as she ran into her house clutching her head. ‘If I find out you have done me wrong, you will be a dead whore walking,’ I said as she disappeared.

I knew something wasn’t right and, when Bob knocked on my door not an hour later, all the pieces finally fell into place. I had been fooling myself for too long but those days were now over. After he and his family had dropped out of sight, he was suddenly back on the scene, less than an hour after I’d done Toni, asking to come back. I took him and the dogs to the special place by the river and asked him straight out if he had done me wrong with Toni.

‘No way, Janie,’ he said, looking pleadingly at me. But I was not convinced. I pushed him in the river and headed back to Toni’s place. Steve claimed she had left him but I knew he was talking bollocks so I went home, got another tin of paint – yellow this time – and wrote
on a big board opposite her flat, ‘Toni fucks, sucks and grasses anyone for money.’

When Steve came out, I shouted from across the road, ‘She’s a dead whore walking. All she’s got is time.’

He shouted, ‘Oh yeah?’ and started walking towards me. ‘I’m going to fucking do you, you bitch.’ He was 20 stone of fat and yet I had really liked him until this point. I pulled out the Maglite again and went for him.

‘Come on then,’ I shouted as I raised the torch above my head. All of a sudden, he wasn’t so brave.

He stopped, turned around and shouted out to where I knew Toni was cowering inside, ‘She’s got a weapon. Call the police.’

‘Call all your fucking gangster mates as well if you think it will stop me!’ I screamed. ‘She has been sleeping with my man and I’m going to do her. You had better get your whore insured for a lot of money and then you should fuck off on holiday if you know what’s good for you.’ A new calm had come over me. ‘I won’t be taking any prisoners. All that whore has got left is time,’ I told him as I left.

His brow furrowed when I said that. He understood what I meant, all right.

M
y life had just come to an end. Whatever time I had left was going to be used to prepare for my son’s future and then I was going to send Bob and Toni straight to hell. He was a dead man walking. She was a dead whore walking. And I was a dead warrior walking because I was going with them. I knew it was over. Everything around me felt evil. Having been a woman with morals, who valued loyalty and honour, I was crushed beyond belief. My moral code wouldn’t let me accept what had happened. My honour wouldn’t let me allow this to go unanswered and my loyalty now belonged to my Matt, and this was when I began to grieve for him properly.

I couldn’t deal with the evil that came to me and I
gave myself two more months in this world to make things right for my son and to say goodbye to my loved ones. The two were going to hell and then the heavens would open up to claim their warrior queen. I knew how I was going to die. I was going to be shot by the police again but this time they would have to kill me to try to save the traitors. I was going to die with my sword in my hand, taking back my honour and the copper who shot me would be a hero. He wouldn’t hear the truth of why I was doing what was doing until I had gone, and I would have no regrets.

I now missed Matt so much and felt so guilty at the anger I had once had for him. I realised now that he had been the only true love of my life. He had never done me wrong. He was just trying to protect me from the pain I would have felt knowing he had loved others when I didn’t want him. Well, I had wanted him. I just couldn’t cope with him as a person and it was my choice to let him go.

All the good memories and love came flooding back and all I wanted now was to be with my Matt again. My true, undying love. I knew he was on the other side waiting for me and wanting me and I had never wanted anything more in my life than to be with him now. And I was going to be with him. I’d had enough of this world. People I loved had let me down. I’d never done anything to anyone who didn’t deserve it, yet all I seemed to attract were wrong ’uns. I was blessed to have a son with the same morals and value for honour and
loyalty as me. It was breaking my heart to think of leaving him but he was 25 now and it was time for me to go.

I took John for lunch to a country pub in Epping, where we had a beautiful day. We took photos of each other and then I told him it was time to meet his real dad. At first he said, ‘No way,’ but I said, ‘I’ve had you for twenty-five years and it’s time for you to meet him.’ I didn’t want to leave this world without making things right. I told John he had no choice and that he was meeting him whether he liked it or not. I think he wanted to meet him but, out of loyalty to me, he felt he couldn’t. But this wasn’t about me anymore. This was about him and his future and he accepted that.

We had a three-course meal at the pub, then walked into a field nearby where a big oak tree had fallen. We climbed and played like a couple of teenagers and laughed. We just enjoyed each other’s company. How my son was the best thing in my life and I knew Jamie would be just as proud as me when he met him. I got in touch with Jamie’s sister and left her a letter for Jamie with a photo of John and his telephone number. I put in the letter that I had never asked him for anything but that, if anything ever happened to me, John would need to know his family.

Jamie phoned John in the next couple of days and they arranged to meet. I said to John beforehand that it would be just like the moment in the
Harry Potter
book when he got his wand. He would feel a power and he
would just know he’d met his dad. I was only sorry I hadn’t done it before. But I did ask John when he was 15 if he wanted to meet his dad and he had said that he didn’t, so I didn’t push it.

Everything went well when they met. I was a bit jealous, to be honest. John didn’t drink or smoke and nor did his dad. John loved boxing and Jamie now ran a boxing club. Jamie played golf and so did John. It was amazing. How could they be so alike and not even know each other? I was glad though. John now had his whole family and I knew his best qualities came from me – his moral code, sense of loyalty and honour. I soon forgot my jealousy. They got on well and it made my day.

The next thing on my list was to get John as much money as I could before I went. He wasn’t going to worry about funeral costs or anything like that. I already had a life insurance policy for £50,000 so I went and got another £150,000 on top of that. I was hoping that would soften the blow when I was gone. I couldn’t think about the downside of losing me. I had to look at the best.

That summer I got a letter from Bob’s solicitor telling me to get out of the house within four weeks, cutting in half my planned two months in this world. I said to Bob’s dad that, if he thought I was leaving my home, he was dreaming and that he shouldn’t make any plans as his son was a dead man. He should get Bob insured. I also told him that I had a receipt from Bob so he couldn’t sell the house before he paid me back my
£30,000. ‘But it’s too late for all that,’ I added. ‘I don’t want the money. I want him and Toni dead. I’m going to die as well.’

He said he couldn’t allow me to hurt his son and I told him, ‘You’ve got no choice. But don’t worry. We will all be gone – me Bob and Toni – by the end of August, so stop with the silly letters.’ It was already the beginning of August and time for me to say my goodbyes and to make amends with the people I loved.

I told John I wasn’t going to be around much longer. I didn’t go into any details at all. I just said I wasn’t well and that, when I passed, I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. He accepted it like the man he was but I could see his heart was breaking with sorrow. Even though he asked a lot of questions, I told him that was all he needed to know. How it hurt me to do this to my boy but I had to. I started telling everyone I’d only got a month to live. I told some people in the world of villains what it was all about but not everyone because I was out to commit murder. Those I let in on it could be trusted. I told them Bob and Toni had done me wrong and I was going to kill them and that the police would shoot me trying to save them. But these were villains I was telling, not family or close friends. Villains understood and they all agreed with me. I told them this was down to honour.

I had heard that one of the hard faces in the East End used to do some work for Bob’s dad and I made a meet with him. This was someone I had known nearly all of my life but I hadn’t seen for nearly 20 years. I needed to
make sure he wasn’t going to get involved. I was on a mission. Bob and Toni’s time was up and they would be trying to find a way out so I got the number of the face, just in case they had gone to him for help. I introduced myself as the Gran and explained that I was at war with someone he knew and needed to find out what side of the fence he was on. He said he didn’t remember me.

When I asked him, ‘Have you got Alzheimer’s?’ he said I was mad. I said I wasn’t playing and that, if he wanted to get involved, I was game. He hung up on me. But within ten minutes he had phoned back and said, ‘You’re Janie Lee. Sorry I didn’t remember,’ and we arranged to meet at the Percy Ingle bakery in Canning Town later that day. There he bought me a cup of tea and I explained everything.

I said, ‘I need to know you won’t get involved because I’ve heard you worked for Bob’s family.’

‘Jane, you and I are family and we go way back, even if I have got Alzheimer’s, girl.’

He touched my heart with his loyalty and I thanked him but I told him it was personal and that nobody else was to get involved. ‘I’m going to kill them and die the warrior I am,’ I said. He assured me he wouldn’t get involved and I thanked him.

Things were falling into place nicely but then I had the hardest task of all. I went and told my dad I was going to die. It wasn’t easy but I had to do it. I said, ‘Don’t worry, Dad, Matt’s waiting for me.’ He went white with shock. I told him I was looking forward to it and even
joked with him. ‘Now, if Mum was waiting for me, I wouldn’t go,’ I said and we both started laughing.

Then I went to see my sister Shell. I said I’d take her to the fair for the day but, when I got there, she wouldn’t go. ‘No way,’ she said. ‘Every time you ask me to go somewhere with you, something happens.’

I told her this would be the last time we would ever get to go out as I was going to die but she refused so we stayed at hers for the day instead. We had a brilliant day, chatting and drinking tea. I hadn’t told Dad or Shell the truth about why I was going to die. I just said I was ill. It was better that way.

I went to Southend after I left Shell’s, bought myself fish and chips and sat on the beach counting the stars. I was going over in my mind what I had left to do. I had given John back to his dad, made sure he would have enough money and said my goodbyes to Shell and Dad. I lay there smiling and then my phone rang.

‘Hello, Jane. It’s Frank here. I’ve heard things are going down with you and I just want to make sure I’m safe.’

I told him he was safe. ‘You were bad, Frank, but never evil so don’t worry,’ I told him. ‘But make amends with your family.’ I hung up. I didn’t want him on my mind. It had been a long time since I’d seen him and he hadn’t even entered my thoughts. Then he sent me a text that seemed threatening to me. I phoned him back. ‘Go to the army and get their best if you think it scares me,’ I said. ‘I’m sitting on Southend beach counting the stars
and now my head is banging. Do him.
Don’t do him
. Decisions. Decisions. Now, fuck off,’ and I hung up again. Within five minutes I was surrounded by armed police. Frank, I immediately thought.

One of the cops shouted, ‘Jane Lee, get up.’

I jumped up and said, ‘You’ve got me,’ and pulled out a gram of puff from my pocket.’

I was kept in a cell all night and they charged me with possession. I was told to appear at Southend magistrates court on 25 August, signed the bail paperwork and got out. I knew I wasn’t going to turn up at court. I was on a mission and I didn’t have time for all this shit. They kept my car in Southend after I was released. So Frank had just made the last few weeks of my life a lot harder. I phoned him as soon as I walked free that morning.

‘You’re fucking top of my list now,’ I said.

He denied calling the police but he was the only one in this world who knew I was on Southend beach. Now Bob and Toni would have company because the two had become three.

It seemed mad, planning my own death. But it felt right. It felt right to know I wasn’t going out of this world alone and that someone was waiting for me. He would have waited through all eternity if that was what was needed but I was ready now. I wanted to be with Matt more each day. ‘I’m coming, Matt,’ I’d say and I could sense him waiting for me and loving me with a passion. I thought about him every second of the day and I had to make right what had happened. I had just
left after his funeral and I didn’t really know anything about his death. It was time to sort that out.

Matt and Ken, the man who shot him, had been like brothers. They had fallen out over money and, in a mad moment, something had gone wrong and now Matt was dead and I thought Ken was going to be facing a murder charge. I believed Matt wouldn’t have wanted that so I decided I was going to take the blame for Matt’s death. I would go and see Ken and tell him that I’d say I shot Matt, and give him back his life. I was going to die anyway so it was nothing to me – and Ken would be free. I knew that’s what Matt would have wanted. I also had to get Matt’s ashes, as I knew his wish was for them to be scattered onto a race track because of his love of cars. Phoebe was keeping them in her wardrobe. I went to her place in Kent to sort that out too.

Baby Matt was now a young child of four. He was walking and talking and my heart broke. He was Matt in every way. I loved this boy. There was an attachment that was so strong and, when I sat down and spoke to him, he told me how a big man visited him and played with him at night. I told him that was his dad and the tears rolled down my face. He told me he knew the man was his dad and not to cry. He said Matt was OK and that he was teaching him how to play football. I could feel Matt’s presence and what this young boy was telling me was reassuring. It was so emotional. Out of a child’s mouth come no lies. He was only one when Matt had died. His mum was freaked out by her son speaking to
Matt and she told me she had known about it for a long time. It scared her because it had to be Matt’s ghost. It was weird but that is what little Matt said and his mum said it was true.

I had come to get Matt’s ashes as well as see them both and say my goodbyes. I explained that I was going to die and I had to fulfil Matt’s wishes that his ashes were scattered on a race track. I also told her that, when I died, I wanted my ashes to be scattered with Matt’s. I said John could throw mine from one side of the car onto the track and little Matt could throw his dad’s from the other. Phoebe asked how long I had left and I told her three weeks. She couldn’t believe it. I didn’t tell her how I was going to die. I just made her think I was ill. It was too much for her to understand.

I told her I needed to see Sharon and she drove me to the gypsy site where she lived with her husband Clint. Sharon, the gypsy queen, had always been there for me when I needed her and I needed her now more than ever. Sharon was the one person in this world to grant my wishes, as I needed my funeral to be prepared. Time was running out. Oh, how I loved my gypsy queen. What would I have done without her? Those friends of mine I called the gypsy queen and king were of a rare breed. Their friendship was unconditional. No matter what I’d done or would have to do, these people were behind me a hundred per cent with a love that broke all the boundaries. I worshipped the ground they walked on and loved them with all my heart. It was so good to see
them again. I immediately told them I only had three weeks to live and not to worry.

‘Matt is waiting for me,’ I said but they cried. I had expected it but I didn’t realise how much it would affect the people who loved and cared about me. I had to put their minds at rest. I told them I was ready and that I was even looking forward to it. They wanted to know why I was dying but I just said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s not catching and I won’t be in pain anymore.’ That was all I could tell them and I asked them to be strong. I told them I needed to see Ken and that I needed them to arrange my funeral. They didn’t understand but I told them I was the happiest I’d been since Matt had died. ‘I’m now at peace so please don’t make this any harder than it is,’ I said. ‘I’ve got three weeks and I want it to be perfect, not sad.’