Authors: Kate Lace
As Vicky went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her she heard a phone ringing. For a second she hoped it might be someone from her family trying to get hold of her. But of course it wasn’t. She felt a physical reaction to homesickness that was almost as bad as her hangover. She dropped her washing kit on the counter and stared at her reflection. This was hopeless, she told herself. She didn’t have a clue about life off the trailer park, she didn’t fit in and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Last night had been a complete revelation and not one she had enjoyed. In fact, it had been a total nightmare. She switched on the shower to get the water warm while she undressed.
The hammering on the bathroom door made her leap out of her skin. The hammering was almost drowned out by shouting.
‘Leave her, Mum. Leave her alone,’ she heard.
‘Get out of there, you filthy pikey!’ She recognised Betty’s voice.
What
? Then the penny dropped. Betty knew who she was. Vicky turned off the shower and unlocked the door.
‘How dare you,’ railed Betty, her face red with anger. ‘Get your stuff and get out.’
‘But …’
‘No buts. Sling your hook. I’m not having a thieving gyppo in my house. And you, Kelly, you should be ashamed of yourself. Lying to me like this.’
‘I didn’t lie,’ protested Kelly.
‘You didn’t tell the truth, that’s just as bad.’
Despite her hangover, or more likely because of it, Vicky just wanted to get away from this.
‘Don’t worry, I know where I’m not welcome,’ she said, looking Betty in the eye. She grabbed her washing kit and pushed past to the spare room. Slamming the door behind her she stripped out of her grubby outfit and into fresh clothes, stuffing all the rest of her possessions into the backpack as she went. She checked the cash she had, a shade over four pounds. She felt hopeless. How could she survive on that?
No job, no money, no shelter, no prospects. She was in such a bad place and as soon as she went out from this house it was going to get a whole load worse. But she had to leave; she had no other choice.
On the other side of the door she could hear the row raging on. It seemed that by leaving the trailer park she hadn’t just wrecked her own life, she’d got Kelly into trouble too. If she went, maybe Betty would stop laying into her daughter.
She caught sight of her phone in her backpack. It was her one and only link with her family and everything that was safe and familiar. She stared at it for a few seconds before she tentatively picked it up and switched it on. It rang instantly.
She had such a fright she dropped it but luckily it landed on the bed. She grabbed it again. Shania.
Should she answer? She hesitated for a moment and then she had an overwhelming desire to talk to her little sister.
‘Shania?’
‘Vicky. Oh thank God, you’re alive.’
The relief in Shania’s voice got to Vicky. She swallowed a sob. ‘Of course I’m alive, sis.’
‘I was going out of my mind. And as for Dad and Mammy. We didn’t know what to do, who to turn to … Vick, we’ve been out of our heads. It was only when I saw you’d taken your washing stuff … but even so, off the park and on your own, you could have been in terrible trouble.’
‘Shan, I am so sorry.’
‘Where are you?’
‘Safe,’ she lied.
‘Vick, you’ve got to come back. Mam and Dad just want you home. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, just come back. Truly.’
‘I can’t. I can’t face what people will say.’
‘That’s it, Vick, no one knows.’
‘What? What are you saying, that’s impossible. Surely Liam …’
‘We told him you’ve got food poisoning and can’t see anyone. Vick, we can’t keep that up much longer. He’s going to get suspicious soon and then … well, you just need to come home.’
Oh, God. She could go home. She hadn’t completely ruined everything, or not yet. Except sneaking off the trailer park was one thing, getting back in with no one spotting her was a whole other issue.
‘How, Shan? How am I going to sneak back?’
‘Dad’ll come and get you in the van. I’m sure we can do it, honest, Vick.’
But Vicky was attacked by her guilty conscience and fear at facing her parents. The row would be awful. And Liam was bound to have told her folks about her phone call to Jordan. Even if her family kept it quiet about her running away, Liam wasn’t going to want her. She’d been chatting to a gorgio behind his back. He’d have every right to think she was a slapper. He’d break off their engagement and for the rest of her life she’d be on the shelf. Damaged goods. The woman no one wanted to marry. Maybe it would be better not to go back.
‘I don’t know, Shan. I’ve made too much of a mess of everything.’
‘No you haven’t.’
But Vicky thought that if she told Shania everything, getting drunk, snogging Jordan, her sister would soon change her tune. She wouldn’t want to be associated with such a trollop either.
‘It’ll be a five-minute wonder,’ insisted Shania. ‘And that’s if the story even gets out. Which it won’t.’
Vicky still hesitated as another jolt of guilt rocked her. What if Liam ever found out about Jordan. Never – it must
never
happen. She would never tell anyone.
In fact
, thought Vicky,
I won’t even tell the priest at confession
. What she’d done was going to go to the grave with her. Her penance. A lifetime of guilt was going to be her punishment.
‘What made you go, Vick? I’ve been going over and over and I can’t see why some stupid comment from Kelly made you take off like that.’
‘It wasn’t what Kelly said. Besides she’s apologised. It was Liam.’
‘Liam!’
‘He said that because Kelly had upset me I wasn’t to see her ever again.’
‘That’s a bit harsh.’
‘He doesn’t like my college friends.’
‘He’ll get over it,’ said Shania breezily. ‘It isn’t as if they’ll be hanging around here once you’re wed. But that still doesn’t explain you taking off. Look,’ she said, ‘talking on the phone isn’t solving anything. Come home, once you’re back we can get it all sorted out properly.’
Shania was probably right and Vicky desperately wanted to go back but she felt as if she were trapped between a raging bush fire and a precipice. If she stayed where she was, she was doomed, but if she jumped … If she jumped, she might be doomed or she might just survive. Two chances of things getting worse, one chance of making it better.
‘I’ll come back.’
Shania’s sigh of relief whistled down the mobile with the strength of a gale. ‘Where are you?’
‘I’m not quite sure but the house is near a bus stop on Lambourne Road. I’ll wait for Dad there.’
‘Thirty minutes?’
‘No problem.’
Vicky swiftly stripped her bed and piled the neatly folded bed clothes with her towel and the outfit she’d borrowed off Kelly on top of it, made sure the room was tidy before she left it and headed for the stairs. Now she not only had a hideous hangover but the churning in her stomach was made worse by butterflies. The row between Betty and her daughter had either moved out of earshot or died away while she was talking to her sister but Vicky had a horrid feeling that her reappearance was likely to kick it off again.
Betty was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, her arms tightly crossed. Vicky made her mind up to say her piece first.
‘I’m sorry, Mrs Munro, for putting you out and I’m sorry you didn’t realise who I am so I’ll go right now. I’ve left my room tidy. You can check it if you like to make sure I’ve not taken anything.’ Betty sniffed and coloured slightly. Vicky felt a tiny surge of satisfaction that she’d scored a hit. ‘Kelly’s always been a good friend to me. You should be proud of her, Mrs Munro, she’s a lovely girl. Very kind and caring. Anyway, I’m off now, so you needn’t worry.’
‘Good,’ was all Betty Munro said before turning on her heel and stamping into the kitchen.
Vicky let herself out of the house and made her way along the street to the junction with Lambourne Road. She’d almost reached the bus stop when she heard someone running behind her.
‘Vick!’
She turned. Kelly was pounding towards her.
‘You can’t go without saying goodbye.’ Kelly panted up to her and enveloped Vicky in a big hug. ‘I shut myself in my room to get away from Mum and then I went into yours and you’d gone.’
‘I couldn’t stay.’
‘No.’ Kelly paused, looking so apologetic she didn’t need words. ‘She was just shocked, I think. And it’s mad because she liked you when she met you, before she knew that you …’ Kelly’s voice petered out. ‘Maybe she’ll come round.’
‘No, Kelly, I don’t think she will.’
‘But you can’t just leave. You’ve nowhere to go.’
Vicky shook her head. ‘I’m going home. You’ve been a star but I’m going home.’
‘It’s all that fucking Leah’s fault,’ said Kelly out of the blue.
‘Leah?’
‘Leah from college. She recognised you last night when I was taking you home. She must have rung Mum this morning. Or told someone else who did.’
Vicky rolled her eyes. ‘She’s hated me ever since she found out I’m a traveller. Spiteful cow.’ She sighed. Why did some people feel they just had to make life difficult for others? Or was it just the likes of her that always got the rough deals?
‘So how are you getting home? Want me to come with you?’
‘Dad’s fetching me and it’s a kind offer but I’ll be all right.’
‘You sure?’
Vicky smiled. ‘To be honest, no. But having a gorgio hanging about probably won’t help. Or that’s how my dad’ll see it. I’d love you to be there but …’
Kelly gave her another hug. ‘You’ve got to keep in touch, babes.’
Vicky nodded, feeling emotional. ‘And if you can get your mum to agree and I can get mine to, I still want you at my wedding. You don’t have to be a bridesmaid though and wear that freaky dress.’
Kelly gave her a watery smile. ‘Vicky O’Rourke, if I’m allowed to be at your wedding it’s entirely on condition that I
can
be a bridesmaid and wear that absolutely
beautiful
dress. Although I think you’ll have to find somewhere else to store them. Sorry, but Mum …’ She didn’t have to say any more, Vicky understood. She gave her friend another hug and a kiss. ‘You’d better get going if you don’t want your dad to see you hanging out with rubbish like me.’
‘Oh Kel. I so owe you.’ She pecked Kelly on the cheek and turned the corner. She knew she would always love Kelly. And if Liam forbade them to meet she’d just have to find another way of keeping in touch.
Her father didn’t say much as she climbed into the van apart from directing her to sit in the back. ‘Don’t want anyone to see what I’m dragging back, like the cat.’
So Vicky made herself as comfortable as she could on the floor of the Transit, trying to brace herself as Johnnie swung it round corners with no apparent thought about the comfort of his cargo.
She could tell when they reached the park as the van bounced and jolted over the tussocky grass to reach their pitch. Johnnie stopped the van, then engaged reverse. When he flung open the door at the back Vicky could see he’d parked so close to the door to the trailer all she had to do was take one step on to the grass and then she was in through the door and back home. Mammy was waiting for her.
Tired, emotional and feeling like death, Vicky just burst into floods of tears and ran into her mother’s arms. Mary-Rose hugged her close and once again the smell of Devon violets seemed to sum up everything that was right about being at home. Never mind the awfulness of the last couple of days, home was perfect. Mary-Rose stroked her daughter’s hair and murmured things about being pleased to have her back and then she held her away and had a good look at her.
‘Well, you look like you’ve been poorly so not a word of a lie there.’ She sighed. ‘So dare I ask what you got up to? Do I need to be ashamed of my own daughter?’
The trailer rocked and Vicky, her conscience making her jumpy, spun round to see who had come in. It was her dad. But Mary-Rose shook her head and he stepped out again. ‘Best you and I talk, woman to woman,’ she said. ‘Now, answer the question.’
‘Not very,’ said Vicky.
‘How much is
not very
?’ said Mary-Rose, sitting on a bunk.
Vicky sat down opposite. ‘I was out unchaperoned, it’s true, but I was with Kelly.’
Mary-Rose’s eyes narrowed. ‘And just what does she know about our ways?’
‘Not much, but she’s a good friend.’
Mary-Rose’s snort suggested she didn’t entirely agree. ‘So you were out and about with Kelly. Doing what?’
‘Drinking,’ whispered Vicky.
‘Which explains the way you look now.’
Vicky nodded. ‘Mammy, I’m so never going to drink again.’
‘Good, because if you do I will wash your mouth out with carbolic. Anything else?’
‘No,’ lied Vicky. ‘Just drinking. That’s enough, isn’t it?’
Mary-Rose nodded. ‘More than enough, if you ask me. But it could have been worse.’
It so nearly was
, thought Vicky.
It so very nearly was
. ‘Shan says Liam doesn’t know I lit out.’