Had To Be You (20 page)

“And what’s that?” Rory was almost afraid to ask.

“What I think you really want or need. And we both know only you can answer the question of what that is. For me? The answer would be fairly simple: Ryan Gosling.”

She quickly swiped at her eye with a teary smile of amusement.

“Speaking of questions to be answered, I fear I can’t stand the suspense any longer. I know there’s Ross and Rachel, of course, and then Zach and Kelly, but who does Kelly Taylor choose? Brandon or Dylan?”

The corner of her mouth quirked up slightly. “She chooses herself.”

There was a short pause on the other end of the line.

“Oh, bollocks. What complete rubbish. There’s six hours of my life I’ll never get back. And they actually allow her to come back to West Beverly High as a guidance counselor? So she can guide us all into substance abuse, back-stabbing, cult-joining, and infuriating self-superiority?”

“Again—real life versus not so much.”

“Yes. I suppose you’re right. ”

“Sarah, I…” Rory hesitated on her admission. “There is something more going on here. There’s someone here. My old boyfriend.”

“And is he the real reason you went back home?”

“Yes. Not that it matters anymore.”

“What does that mean?’

She glanced out at the darkened beach with a sadder smile.

“You have another few hours to kill?”

THIRTEEN

Carrying a load of laundry, Rory had to peer around the folded stack to judge the distance to the doorway. She missed the low overhang at the top of the basement steps, sharply smacking the top of her head.

“Ow!”

She winced and rubbed at the sore spot, and then wandered down the hall to the bathroom to check it in the mirror.

Although most of her hard knocks lately were not of the physical variety, she felt a sudden swell of frustration and sadness as tears sprung to her eyes. Swinging the door shut, she plopped down right on the closed toilet seat cover and collapsed into a weepy mess.

Matt had been conspicuously absent, making no visits to the beach house and almost completely out of touch for a few days now, to the point both Kevin and Danny even mentioned it. What did she expect, however? That someone getting
married
in a week wouldn’t, perhaps, be a bit busy and preoccupied with other things?

Rory was starting to believe she should just give it up. What made her even come here, with this ridiculous idea? Drawing in a shaky breath, she swiped her hand down her face to dry her damp cheeks.

This vague, hollow ache lingered in her chest. Everything here seemed to bring on a wash of melancholy, from the soft, briny breeze carrying the scent of some long forgotten wildflower, to the constant crash and recede of the surf, or the way the vividly painted sunsets gave way each night to a brilliant dome of starlight overhead. It all filled her with an unexpected and inexplicable sense of loss and longing.

She kept trying to shove the feeling back down, to firmly place a lid over it, but it was as if that small bump to the head somehow knocked it free.

There was a time when she was so determined to steer clear of strong attachments to anything here. After feeling so abandoned by her father, it was difficult to trust in anything anymore, most especially in the comfort and security of home. Perhaps it was more a part of her than she ever realized, however, and it was only in leaving that she gained perspective.

Rory tried to distance herself, but it turned out that home was never farther away than her heart.

Having finally composed herself, she wandered out into the sunny yellow kitchen. In exchange for letting her wash a couple of loads of travel clothes, she helped her mother make her famous red and blue triple berry muffins. They were her contribution to the town bake sale held every year to raise money for Fourth of July fireworks. Next week it would be the Chowder Festival, the week after that the sandcastle contests out at Front Beach. It was all about tradition.

Her mother had left already, off delivering the muffins. Maybe when she got home, Rory should just pack up all her clean clothes, say her goodbyes and head back to New York tonight. She would send her regrets, and a gift off the registry. Maybe a nice serving platter, since it felt like someone had carved up her heart.

She heard a knock on the wood frame of the screen door.

“Come in,” she called out, moving over to the sink to start cleanup. “It’s open.”

“Hello?”

Glancing around the corner of kitchen, she smiled in surprise to see Jill’s small, round form come through the door, followed by Lindsay.

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

“I decided to take a little vacation for myself, too.” With water bottle in hand, she made herself at home at the table, just like she had done countless times in high school. “The boys told us you were over here.”

“Is Trevor with you?”

“No. He’s got meetings all this week; then the week after he goes to some big sales conference up in Vancouver. He’s going to try to cut out early to make it home for the wedding, but he thinks there are morning presentations already scheduled for that Saturday that he won’t be able to get out of. I’ll probably just take my mom as my date.”

Lindsay sat across from her. “I still can’t believe they got the Cliffside Manor.”

The Cliffside was a five-star restaurant and function hall boasting sweeping ocean views, and was the ultimate height of taste and class in wedding receptions. It was also built on the former site of the old Seaview Inn.

Rory returned her attention to rinsing out the mixing bowl, suddenly not liking the direction this conversation was taking.

“Yeah,” Jill replied. “Her father must have some connections. That place is booked years in advance. And, remember, they only got engaged in January. You start calling around then for a summer wedding? Good luck to you.”

“I wonder why it had to happen so fast.”

“Good question.”

“What was that, Rory?”

“Nothing,” she muttered. She was not getting involved in this conversation.

“Who knows?” said Jill. “But who knows why people get married at all?”

“He brought her by Bobby’s parent’s house when we were home on Easter weekend,” Lindsay said. “That’s quite the rock.”

Jill nodded in wry amusement. “That’s what he gets for letting her pick it out.”

“She picked it out?”

Rory tensed then relaxed, realizing she hadn’t said it aloud and instead it was just Lindsay echoing her thoughts. Because this conversation? Not happening.

“Yeah,” Jill said. “He apparently proposed very spontaneously, without one. Rookie mistake.”

“Mistake is right.”

They both glanced at her with expectant smiles and raised eyebrows.

She blew out a noisy breath in her exasperated defense. “Whatever, okay?”

“So, tonight is the big bachelor party, huh?” Lindsay switched the subject with a tilt of her head. “What are they going to do? Do you know? Because Bobby had no clue. Last time he talked to Danny, he said there might not even be one. Just a few guys getting together for dinner or something.”

“Well, according to Kevin,” Jill said, “that all suddenly changed. Now they have a rented van with a driver to take them to some strip club, and a sports bar, I guess. And then, after that, they’re going back to the house of one of the guys Matt works with—his bartender, Luke—to play poker. And I would assume drink some more.”

Rory wished she had a drink right about now.

“Strip club? Well, now I know why Bobby claimed not to know the plan,” Lindsay said with a smirk. “And Murph isn’t able to make it out?”

Jill shook her head. “Not for that. He’ll be here for the wedding. But Kevin got a text from him last night saying he couldn’t get the time off and switch to any earlier flights.”

Rory chose to take the absence of Matt’s best friend from the bachelor party festivities as a symbolic show of solidarity, even if it was grasping at straws. After all, she needed someone on her side.

“Anyway…Rory, we were actually going to see if you wanted to go out.” Jill looked over at her. “Make it a girl’s night. Though I might only be good for maybe a little dinner before I’m falling asleep at the table, but whatever you want to do.”

“Yeah, we could do that,” she agreed, deciding she could always just leave tomorrow. What was one more day? Then she quickly narrowed her eyes, defense reflexes triggered. “Wait, this isn’t what I think it is—is it? Some pity party in my honor? Because I’m
fine
.”

“Of course you are. We know that.” Jill swung her legs around to stand from the table, gripping her water bottle in her hand as she hoisted herself up from her seat. “But right now I’ve got to head back before my mom thinks I’ve fallen and can’t get up.”

“Wait, did you walk over here?”

“Jill has apparently discovered exercise,” Lindsay informed her in amusement.

“Not by choice,” she grumbled. “Believe me, as soon as this baby is out? Right back to booze and inertia. I may even take up smoking, just for the hell of it.”

“We’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

They watched her walk out into the hazy sunshine of the late morning, the screen door swinging shut behind her.

“So, I haven’t really had the chance to talk to you alone.” Lindsay turned back to Rory with a questioning, doubtful smile. “Are you really okay with all this? With Matt getting married?”

“Of course I am!” she said, although her voice sounded a little shrill to her own ears. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lindsay almost laughed, her eyebrows lifting. “Uh—do you really want to go there?”

Rory only gave her a look.

“Right, okay…and changing subjects again, what’s up with our parents-to-be? Are
they
ever getting married or what?”

“Who knows?” Rory shrugged her shoulder. “Jill always claims she’s not interested in marriage. And Trevor hasn’t exactly made any attempts to ask, at least as far as I know.”

“But he’s happy about the baby? It’s all good?”

“Oh, yeah. They’re definitely in it together, and he’s very happy about it. It’s actually pretty sweet.”

“Well,” Lindsay conceded, taking a berry from the bowl on the table to pop it in her mouth, “marriage is not for everyone, I guess.”

Rory only smiled sadly, since she saw it a little differently.

Maybe marriage is only for the people you thought you were going to marry.

***

It was almost dark when they arrived at the bar. Rory couldn’t help her longing gaze from searching the crowd, even though she knew Matt wasn’t going to be here. After arriving in town with all these romantic reunion scenarios in her head, now she wondered if she would even get the chance to say goodbye to him.

“Hey, hi there!”

Turning in the direction of the cheerful voice, she saw Casey approaching.

“Casey Conroy!” Lindsay greeted her. “Wow. How are you?”

“Great! So nice to see you guys!” She gave them a quick wink. “Special guests get premium seating. Follow me.”

She led them through the main bar and to a table on the outside patio offering the best water views.

“Thanks.” Rory gave her a more genuine smile. It was rather pointless to feel anything like jealousy towards her now. “How is your night going?”

“Okay. We had a decent early crowd, so that was good. Get them in and out. But it’s so boring here tonight with all the fun guys at Matt’s bachelor party.”

The smile suddenly felt a little too tight on her face.

“A waitress should be over in a minute.” Casey gave them a quick wave as she hurried away towards a large group just walking in. “We’ll chat later.”

The waitress arrived to get their drink orders, promising to return in a moment as she hurried off to the bar. Lindsay excused herself to the ladies’ room.

Rory studied the small paper pub menu, even though she had no real appetite.

“Are you okay?”

She glanced up, surprised to hear a twinge of genuine concern in Jill’s voice.

“Yes, I keep telling you—I’m fine,” she assured her.

“Well, I’m not,” Jill said, sliding from her seat. “Now that Lindsay had to bring it up, I have to go to the bathroom, too.” She drew the word out with weary emphasis. “Again.”

Rory edged the table back to give her more room, acutely conscious of the little belly that now jutted out like a round shelf. The fact it housed an entire tiny human being was kind of starting to freak her out.

“Do you need help?”

“Going to the bathroom? No, just take me out into a field and shoot me if it actually comes to that.” Jill said. “I’m good.”

Rory’s amused smile faded once she found herself sitting there alone, and her gaze traveled out over the early evening summer harbor.

***

The small boat cut a slow path through the shimmering, sunset-stained water. Matt stilled the motor as they approached the public landing, coasting the rest of the way in until the bumpers hit the dock with two soft thuds.

They spent the whole afternoon off the outer beach, anchored next to other boats on the wide strip of sandbar that appeared with every low tide.

Rory and Kevin hopped off to help with the lines and Matt gave her a wink as she caught the frayed rope easily in one hand.

“I’m going to make a decent first mate out of you yet,” he joked.

“Okay, bye guys! Thanks, Matt!” Lindsay called out, grasping Bobby’s hand as he helped her hop off to the dock. “What time is the big party tomorrow night?”

Matt lifted his hand in farewell. “It starts around five.”

“Okay, we’ll see you then!”

“And it’s probably going to take me that long to get the sand out of my crotch,” Jill announced with a grimace, standing on deck to tug at her tiny bikini bottom.

Trevor hoisted the cooler in his arms, and sighed in mock adoration. “Ah, and she’s all mine!”

Kevin shared a lingering smile with Adam. Rory had only been home from New York for a day, but already suspected things might be getting serious between the two of them.