Hadley (The Club Girl Diaries Book 3) (14 page)

“I need to get back to Macy. I’ll come get you for church in the morning,” he whispered softly before pulling away.

Soon he was gone, and my body sagged onto the soft bed.

I knew my feelings for Leo were strong. I also knew that somewhere inside, he felt something for me too. But it was obvious he was confused. He still loved Kim, she was Macy’s mother, his high school sweetheart.

There was no way I could live up to that.

I cared about the both of them, and there was no way I wanted them caught up in my fight.

I touched my fingers to my lips, hoping that somehow I would remember forever how it felt when he kissed me.

Because that may have been the last time.

“Be good for Harmony.” Macy’s eyes watered as Harm extracted her from my arms and cuddled her close.

“I want Daddy.” She sniffles, reaching out for me.

I tightened my fists so that I wouldn’t reach out to her and cave. “Baby, I won’t be long, I promise.”

She was still shaken, and seeing her like that made me both angry and nauseous. I never wanted my baby girl to feel fear. I guess that was one of the reasons I had never moved from the clubhouse. She saw the strength and power in these men, they might be scary to others, but for her they were the teddy bears that would protect her from anything. I wanted Macy to grow up strong, I wouldn’t always be around to watch over her, so I needed to know that when it came down to it, she could stand up for herself.

Harmony gave me a soft smile and turned to walk outside. “Come on, Macy. Let’s swing.” I heard her say as they disappeared into the sunlight, my heart aching to run out after them and scoop Macy into my arms.

“Hey,” her soft voice instantly relaxed my body as I continued to stare out the patio doors. “How is she?”

“Scared,” I answered simply before pulling my attention away and focusing on Hadley. Her eyes were red. “You been crying?”

She shook her head and ducked around me, heading for the hallway to church. “Just tired.”

“Wish you’d stop lying to me,” I commented as I followed behind her.

She scoffed. “I’m not allowed to lie, remember. We have to tell the truth unless it pertains to another member.”

I reached out and grabbed her elbow, pulling her to a sudden stop. “What other member?” I growled. “Someone asking you to keep shit to yourself?”

Her eyes looked up at me, they were sad, drained. She had been crying, I wasn’t fucking stupid. I opened my mouth to call her out.

“Get in here, now,” Op called, from the meeting room door.

My eyes never left Hadley. “We will be discussing this later.”

She didn’t answer, instead just shaking me off and heading for the room.

Hadley stood up front behind Op, shifting from foot to foot as though she was eager to get this over. So was I.

The quicker I knew what the hell was going on, the quicker I could put a fucking stop to it.

The doors to the room are closed and a hush comes over the men.

“Kit has some information from Mansel that I think we all need to hear,” Op announced, his eyes moving to Hadley.

Kit stepped away from the wall and came to stand next to Op’s chair. “Mansel said he’s dealt with the Shadow Syndicate before. From what I can gather, they have a
once-you’re-in-there’s-no-getting-out
kind of policy.”

This wasn’t new. A lot of gangs enforced this kind of thing in order to keep members and build their numbers. Gang members got in too deep but were too scared to leave for the fact that if they tried, they’d be killed. It’s a fear tactic. And it works.

The Brothers by Blood worked differently. We built brotherhood and loyalty. Members were free to leave whenever they felt they needed to, but it was rare. Gangs were all out, each member for themselves, fighting to survive, or to make money.

We backed our brothers and supported them, sharing income amongst us and protecting our family.

“So how does that effect, Hadley?” I asked.

Kit looked over at me, then to Hadley. “They’re still married. Which makes her tied to him.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I snapped.

Hadley took a step forward. “Wait! What does that mean?”

“It means you’re guilty by association,” Blizzard answered dryly.

Hadley frowned.

“It means technically, you’re attached to him, so you’re part of them. There’s no divorcing out,” Kit explained, his features serious. “They’re gonna make him honor your marriage, and that means, you being by his side.”

“But we haven’t been together for years!” She exclaimed in shock.

“I’m assuming that since he’s stepped forward to take over, they aren’t letting it slide anymore.” Op said, turning his seat to her. “He wants to lead the Syndicate, he has to be an example for how they expect people to follow the rules. He’s king. You’re his queen. So that means, you have to be by his side.”

Hadley stared on in shock. “Th-there h-has to be another o-option,” she stuttered, her eyes finding mine, wide with fear.

“Yeah, the other option is that you’re dead,” I spat, disgusted with this man who was putting the life of a woman he was meant to care about at risk, simply so that he could be on top, ruling the land. “That’s what the packages are for. I’m guessing, they’ve given him a time frame to get you there—”

“Otherwise, he doesn’t get to be king,” Kit finished.

“But why the packages?” Camo asked, leaning into the table. “Why not just give no warning and snatch her off the street?”

“He likes to be extravagant,” Hadley answered quietly. “It’s part of the reason he went into undercover work… it was crazy and dangerous and exciting. He always wanted fast and big, and unfortunately Judge doesn’t run his operation like that. They don’t want people to notice them, they want to go under the radar. He was never satisfied.”

“So now he has the money and backing to go crazy.” Slider sighed.

Op nodded, tapping his hand on the table. “That’s exactly what scares me. How much money and backing does he have? How much damage can he do?”

“To you guys? None,” Hadley answered, pushing her shoulders back and inhaling deeply. “I’m withdrawing from my place in the club, and my request for your help.”

“Hadley…” I growled, but she didn’t look at me. The rest of the room was quiet, everyone shocked into silence.

Optimus raised his eyebrows at me, and I shook my head.

She wasn’t leaving.

No way in hell.

“Club girls are free to go whenever they feel like their time is done,” Optimus answered simply, turning his chair to face her. “An explanation would be nice even though you’re not obliged to give one.”

Hadley blinked furiously as if trying to swat away her tears. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Letting me in, and watching out for me. But I can’t let this go on any longer. I can’t let anyone else gets hurt.”

I was fuming. My body was wound so tightly I couldn’t even speak.

“So this is about what happened yesterday,” Op offered.

Hadley nodded. “I hoped coming here would make Simon think twice about going after me. There was no huge threat of danger at that stage. We weren’t really sure what was going on. But it got very serious, very quickly.” A shudder ran through her, and her eyes flicked to me. Sadness in them, regret. “I never meant for Macy to get caught up in my problems.”

“You don’t fucking even know they were after you,” I snapped, slamming my palm down on to the wooden table.

“Leo,” Op warned.

I was angry.

We had no idea what her ex-husband planned to do. If he did catch her alive and drag her down there, what would he do to her? The Syndicate would never let her leave alive.

And if she ran, they would chase her. Simon’s link to the government gave him all the resources he needed to hunt her down. She may be good with a gun, but there was only one of her.

“Self-sacrifice isn’t always the best strategy,” I told her, pushing back from my chair and standing.

It had been a game before, her throwing herself off the top of the kid’s playground in order to make me let Macy go so she could run.

Now she was doing it again.

Throwing herself into danger in order to protect Macy, my brothers and me, their families. No regard for her own safety. More prepared to lose her own life than to watch others suffer.

I admired her for that. Her heart was huge, full of passion, strength. Willing to give herself before she let the people she cared about be hurt. The same thing that any of my brothers would do for each other. The same thing anyone here would do to protect the club and their families, whether related by blood or not.

Opening my truck door yesterday to see her cradling my daughter in her arms, wrapping her body around Macy as if she would put herself in the way before she let anything happen to my baby that had gotten to me. She was scared, frightened for her life, yet she still put Macy first.

Hearing her talk about her father last night, and finally realizing that she didn’t need a sign from him to tell her what to do with her life, or whether he was proud of her. That she finally figured out that all he would want, was for her to be happy.

It had hit me hard.

I was so scared of whether Kim would approve of me falling in love again, I didn’t stop to think about whether she would want me to live the rest of my life alone. Would she want Macy to grow up without a mother figure in her life, or would she want someone around who loved and adored our little girl just as much as we did?

Someone who loved her enough to throw herself in front of a bullet to protect her. And someone who knew what it was like to lose an important person in their life, and want to preserve their memory.

“This is not your choice, Leo,” Hadley said, standing her ground as I stood in front of her. “I won’t see you hurt. I can’t do it. I can’t risk it.”

She was wrong.

I was already planning on talking to Optimus about this after church was done.

I wouldn’t stand around and watch her with my brothers for another day.

She was mine.

I’d known the second I touched her that she belonged to me. But fear and heartache had clouded my judgment.

Now she was forcing my hand.

“No, but I’m about to make it my choice. And you’re going to smile and fucking deal with it because I’m only saying this once.” I turned to Op. “I’m claiming her.”

Both Op and Kit’s faces turned up in a smirk. A couple of my brothers chuckled, while others just stared on in awe.

“What?” Hadley gasped, looking around confused.

“Give us a minute?” I asked Op, my eyes never leaving Hadley.

“All right, church in an hour. We’ll get back to making a plan then,” he ordered. My brothers stood and began filing out the door.

I knew some would be disappointed. Hadley was beautiful and sexy and strong.

Everything a man could want in an Old Lady.

But now, she was also mine.

The door to the room closed softly, and I narrowed my eyes on Leo. “What the hell just happened?”

“Told you I was only going to say it once,” he answered, his voice low and dangerous.

I huffed and headed for the door. “I need to leave.”

His large body moved surprisingly swift as he positioned himself in my path. One of his hands went to my waist, and he began to walk me back until my lower back bumped into the large table in the center of the room.

“Leo, stop,” I told him even as I failed to fight back, my body seeming to disagree with my mind. “I need to get out of here before more people get hurt.”

Or maybe it was my heart ruling. I would have thought my mind was a little smarter than this.

“You go out there, he’s either going to trap you in a lifestyle that you’d rather die than be in, or he’s going to kill you.” His voice was harsh and honest.

I placed my hands on his chest, attempting to force some space between us. “You think I don’t know that!”

“Then what the fuck are you thinking?” he growled, his eyes blazing.

“I’m thinking about you!” I cried, my voice catching. “I’m trying to protect you. I’m trying to protect Macy! And this whole damn MC!”

He squeezed his hand on my hip. “And you think throwing yourself to the sharks is going to make us all feel a little better?”

Water filled the bottom of my eyes, threatening to spill over the edges if I didn’t calm myself down. “I didn’t come here thinking I’d find friends and people I cared about. I never thought I’d find someone like you, who stole my breath every time you came near. Or a little girl who filled my heart with smiles and laughter.”

“But you did.”

I nodded, the movement causing the tears to drip onto my cheeks. “You’ve already been through so much pain, Leo. I don’t want to be the one to add to that by hurting the people you love.”

“And you think that watching you walk away would be easy for me? Knowing that it might be the last time I saw you breathing, the last time I saw you smile?”

His words choked me. I wasn’t sure before if Leo was feeling the same thing I was. We both felt the connection between us. It was like a game of tug of war, and what I felt for him was strong, pulling me in. I was just waiting for the moment where I would land face first in a pile of mud and broken hearts.

But it seemed like that wasn’t the case.

The pull was even.

He felt it too.

“You’re not leaving,” he answered, his other hand coming to my hip. He lifted me, placing me on the edge of the table and forcing my legs to the side so he could move his body in closer.

Whenever he was this close, I began to feel dizzy, the only thing on my mind was touching him and feeling him against me.

I didn’t doubt that he knew this was the case too.

I needed to fight it.

“What did you mean before?” I asked softly, tilting my head back to look up at him, my chest pressed against his. “About claiming me?”

“It means you’re mine,” he answered, the deep vibrations in his voice moving through me. “It means the club will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, whether you walk out that door or not. You leave, I’ll have a man on you twenty-four-seven. Because as far as the club is concerned… you’re mine. And we protect our own.”

“We’ve known each other all of a few weeks,” I whispered. I couldn’t make sense of how I was feeling. I wanted to be excited. I wanted to be his. No more other guys, just him. But I was scared. I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to walk away. And now he was saying that even if I did, he’d follow.

“You know how long Kit knew Harmony before he claimed her?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“No.”

“Two days.”

My eyes widened dramatically.

His large rough hand lifted to my face, his thumb brushing away at my cheeks like a gentle giant. He looked me right in the eye. I could feel the static around us. I wanted to run, save all of them by risking myself. But when I looked in his eyes, I had to wonder if I was ready to give it all up so easily.

What if I never saw him again? Or touched him?

Felt the heat of his body burning through my clothing like it was right now.

“I’m scared too, Hadley. These feelings, they’re things I haven’t felt for anyone other than my wife. But what I do know, is that they’re very real, and I want the chance to explore them. If I let you walk out the door now, I lose that chance, not knowing if you’ll ever come back. And I’m not ready to give you up.” He spoke slowly, letting it move through my body, allowing me to take in every single word, phrase, and sound. “I’m not ready to throw this away before it’s even begun.”

He wanted to protect me, so that when all this was done, we could spend the time getting to know each other and figuring out if what we were feeling was real.

I wanted it to be real.

I wanted Leo more than my next breath and every time I saw Macy’s face or heard her giggle, I knew in my heart I would do whatever it took to make sure she was safe and happy. They were a package deal, but one without the other didn’t feel like it made sense anyway.

“And if we don’t work out?” I asked quietly, lowering my head and pressing my forehead to his chest. His breathing was deep.

In.

Out.

I tried to mimic it, in an attempt to calm my racing heart.

I’d prepared myself all morning for this, knowing that I would have to say goodbye. Possibly forever. My plan had been simple.

Run.

All I needed to do was outrun the timer.

“If things change later on, we will deal with it then. But until I know you’re safe, I’m not giving up,” he told me, his strength and position unwavering. “We’ll figure this out, and we’ll do it together.”

I inhaled his scent, it was masculine. A mix of leather and the spice of his cologne. It made me feel safe, a comfort I hadn’t had for a long time.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Okay?”

I nodded, my head brushing against his leather cut with a subtle squeak. A thick finger hooked under my jaw and tilted my face upward. When his eyes met mine, I could tell they were searching, needing solid confirmation that I was willing to give this a try.

“You gonna be mine?” he asked, his body tense.

Forcing a smile, I reached out, wrapping my arms around his waist and anchoring myself to him. “I’ll be yours.”

He gave me a moment to inhale a shaky breath before he dipped his head and pressed his lips to mine, swallowing all my nerves and reluctance, and replacing them with the excitement of having him to myself.

There would be no more screwing the men in the club in order to have protection, Leo was offering me so much more. He was giving me a promise that he would do whatever it took to keep me safe, and at the same time, he would give me himself. I would be his. For now.

My reservations about what might happen between us when all this was said and done, still lingered in the back of my mind.

Would he resent me for putting his family in danger?

Was he only doing this because there was no other option?

Leo was broken.

He’d lost the love of his life, and as much as I wanted to fix him, give him everything I had and hope he felt the same, I had to wonder if there was enough space in his heart for me. I understood that he would always love Kim. I knew I could never take her place. But I didn’t want to either.

I cared for Leo and Macy. And Kim was a part of them.

I would happily share their hearts with her because she was the reason Leo’s the man he was today, and she was the reason Macy was in this world.

I just hoped they could let me in.

Leo’s mouth broke from mine, us both gasping for air. His hands moved to my ass, and he lifted me off the table, slowing lowering me to my feet before spinning my body so my back was flush against him.

“You’re scared,” he stated, one of his hands moving across my stomach while the other brushed my hair from my shoulder.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Petrified.”

“Of him?”

Shaking my head, I tilted it to the side as his bearded face came to rest on my shoulder.

“No. Not of him.”

His fingers traced the line of my jeans, tickling across my bare skin, just underneath my shirt. “You’re scared of me?”

“Of how you make me feel,” I corrected. “I want you, so badly. I want to be yours.”

He chuckled lightly. “You miss what’s going on here? That’s what you just agreed to be. Mine.”

I gasped as his hand slipped inside my jeans, having been too preoccupied with the feel of him against me to realize they were now undone.

“You see those words on the table?” he growled into my ear as his fingers dived into my panties. I eyed the Brothers by Blood symbol that was etched into the dark wood. The name of the club above and Athens underneath. “That’s your home now. That’s your family. That’s who you belong to. You’re an Old Lady now, and there’s shit you need to learn. But you will… later. The future is unpredictable. It has no mercy for how we feel, no empathy for our situations. So you need to live in the now. Trust that I will do what it takes to keep you safe, I will fight to make you happy, and your life full because I’m your Old Man.”

His fingers moved across my clit to my center, gathering some of the wetness that had already pooled there and using it to lubricate his fingers.

I ground my ass back against him, feeling his hardness press into me.

“I want to fuck you, right now, right here,” he whispered, his bristles tickling my neck.

“Please,” I pleaded as he swiped back and forth against my clit, sensations already building in my stomach.

“Not yet. We sort this shit out first, we go to my room and I fuck you right. You’re not a club whore. Ain’t gonna disrespect you by screwing you here while my brothers sit outside waiting for us,” he told me, his hand now retreating from my pants and my body sagging in disappointment. He used one hand on my waist, turning me to face him just as he raised his hand to his mouth and slipped his fingers inside, sucking my wetness off them. “Just wanted to taste you. Now I know there will be no other man inside you, you taste all that much sweeter.”

My lips hung open as I stared at him in awe.

“You get it yet, baby?”

I licked my lips. “I think so.”

I was still scared but also desperate to see where this could lead. I wanted to fight, still unsure if I was willing to put his life, and the lives of the people he cared about, at risk for something that could just be a case of lust.

But he’d made his position firm. There was no running. If I stayed or left, the results would be the same. He and the club would find me, and do what they had to in order to keep me safe.

He’d taken away my options.

But I was kind of glad.

I wanted to be with him, and like he said, the future was unpredictable. So if this was all the time I was going to get with him, I was going to make it count.

I would take everything he was willing to give me, and I would cherish it for the rest of my life because having him for a moment was better than never having him at all.