Hand of Fire (The Master of the Tane) (83 page)

             
Bedler smiled and looked at Resdin who just chuckled under his breath.

             
Thane looked at both incredulously as if they had suddenly gone mad. “What is so funny? They will tear this place down around your ears!”

             
Bedler’s expression softened and he seemed to pass into a trance-like state. “I want to tell you a story, Thane. It happened a long time ago; before your birth. A male child was born into a certain community of people. He was different from the rest.”

             
Thane suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.

             
“He was a good boy. He obeyed his mother and his leaders, did his share of the work, was helpful to others, but that was not enough. He possessed a certain gift that set him apart from the rest.”

             
A shiver ran down Thane’s back and his mouth suddenly went dry.

             
“He never used it because he was afraid of what others might think of him, how they would react. He was already shunned by almost everybody in the community.” Bedler paused for a moment, a dark cloud shadowing his face. “One day he used his gift to help another. The community was suddenly in an uproar. He was humiliated, beaten and then cast out from among them.”

             
Thane stared at his hands feeling a hard knot develop in the pit of his stomach. Silence followed for long moments before he finally found his voice. “Who was it?”

When there was no answer, Thane looked up and into Lord Bedler’s sad eyes.
“YOU?”

             
Bedler smiled at him. “Yes, my boy. It was me. It was with that same gift that I healed your shoulders.” Turning away, he added, “I hope you won’t hold it against me.”

             
He was shocked. It was his story all over again but enshrouded in the person of Lord Bedler. Never before had he ever heard or known of any other who had suffered as he had. He was suddenly ashamed of his self-pity. “Of course not.” He blurted. “How could I? How could anyone?”

             
Lord Bedler smiled and then with a slight hesitation, patted Thane’s hand. “Thank you. I was hoping you would understand.”

             
Thane looked back at Bedler’s sad, dark eyes. “Oh, I certainly do Lord Bedler, very much so. I would never fault anyone for being different than me.”

             
Bedler’s eyebrows rose up into his forehead. “Oh? A moment ago you were calling the guards down on the heads of a group of innocent people whom you think are bent on our destruction.”

             
“But that’s different.” he retorted. “Those are trolls. They kill people. They’re evil.”

             
Bedler looked as if in deep concentration. “Evil you say. Well, well, that is something. Evil.”

             
“Yes!” Thane exerted. “They’ve attack my people many times, killing many and for no reason.”

             
Bedler looked fascinated. “Really? No reason at all? That’s interesting. How many trolls have you killed?”

             
Thane was caught off guard by the question. “Me? Well, I don’t know...I mean...well I guess about four or five, maybe.”

             
“That many? You must be a great hunter.”

             
Thane couldn’t help the pride he felt at Lord Bedler’s comment. “I do all right.”

             
“Yes, I am sure you do. I wonder how many young trolls suddenly found themselves without fathers because of your great skill.”

             
Thane was flabbergasted. What was he saying? “Now wait just a minute. They attacked us. I killed those trolls out of self-defense and for the defense of my people.”

             
Lord Bedler held his hands up. Resdin just smirked. “I’m sure you did, Thane. I meant not to offend. I was just thinking out loud. You know, I wonder who it was that killed the first troll. What caused it to happen? Was it in self-defense or something else?” Bedler turned his gaze full onto Thane as if trying to see into his very soul. “Maybe it was because someone felt repulsed by something that was different. Maybe just because the troll was different it was slaughtered and called evil.”

             
Thane tried to answer but found his mind suddenly in a jumble.

             
“What was your initial thought and reaction when you first saw Whar tonight? Be honest. What did you feel?”

             
Thane stared at Lord Bedler in silence feeling a certain amount of guilt quickly overcome him. He had been repulsed. It was true. “But the trolls,” he started, his voice barely a whisper, “they always attacked us. We never attacked them.”

             
Lord Bedler just nodded his head. “That could be the way it has been in your short life. Can you be so sure that your people never attacked them before?”

             
He couldn’t concentrate. Trolls were evil, they had Tam prisoner. They did nothing but kill. “No. But they took my friend as a prisoner.”

             
“A prisoner you say?” Lord Bedler rubbed his hairless chin. “How many people live in your village? Just in rough numbers.”

             
Thane was a little confused. What did that have to do with anything? “Maybe two hundred.”

             
Bedler’s face flashed with surprise before he covered up his shock with his next question. “How many trolls do you think there are heading towards us right now?”

             
He thought back to what he had seen the nights he searched for Tam. “I don’t know, maybe two thousand.”

             
“My point exactly.”

             
Thane looked at Resdin who only returned a flat stare and then turned back to Bedler. “What do you mean?”

             
“Well, if the trolls, whom you claim are so evil, really were bent on total destruction, how well do you think your village would have faired against a total onslaught or attack?”

             
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Lord Bedler was right. If the trolls had really wanted to kill all of his people they could have easily done so at any time. “But why would they attack us at all?”

             
“Are you sure they were attacking? Maybe they were foraging for berries or nuts and were attacked by your people. Maybe, those that attacked your village were only a few who actually were evil. Are all the people in your village perfectly good?”

             
PocMar’s face instantly appeared in Thane’s mind.

             
“To automatically assume that a whole race is evil because of the acts of a few, or because of how they look...”

             
Thane knew Bedler was talking about Whar and his reaction at first seeing him.
Dear Mother, could he be right
? He thought of Jack. He was a HuMan, and he had saved his life. Resdin and Lord Bedler were HuMan too and they had also saved his life. Jack had told him some of the stories that were wrongly told about the Chufa. It was the same thing. The whole world suddenly felt like one massive misunderstanding.

             
“Maybe it is we who are the evil ones for our self-centered, self-righteous judgment which we pass out upon others who are not like ourselves.”

             
Thane felt himself whirling in a cyclone of confusion and guilt. Others had cast him out because he was different. No, not different but evil as they saw it. He had automatically done the same with the goblin, Whar. Just because of his appearance, he had been repulsed, automatically labeling him wicked. “What about my friend? They took her.”

             
“Was she in your village when it happened?”

             
Thane shook his head.

             
Lord Bedler shrugged. “Obviously, they felt she was threatening them. Or, maybe she was an opportunity of protection against attacks from your people. You see, my boy, it all comes down to perspective.”

             
“But why would they come here? Why would they mass into such a formidable army? Such an army is sure to gain the attention and concern of others only inviting trouble upon themselves.”

             
Bedler nodded sadly. “A delegation of these trolls, that you have labeled so quickly as evil, came to me in desperation. They wanted a place where they could stay, where no one would hurt them, where they could live in peace. Naturally, after what I myself have passed through, I could not turn them away simply because I found their appearance undesirable. So, I agreed. They knew the danger of gathering in the open in such a large formation, but they were desperate. They were willing to sacrifice to assure their own protection.”

             
Thane was stunned into silence. Never in his life had he ever thought about how trolls must feel at the death of one of their own. He had only seen the world through his own eyes and judgments, never thinking to look at it through the perspectives of another. Maybe Lord Bedler was right. Maybe he was the evil one. The soft touch of Lord Bedler’s hand on his own brought his eyes back up.

             
“Now, now, Thane, my boy. Don’t be upset. I’m sorry I came down so hard on you as I have done. But, sometimes it is the only way to get people to realize their mistakes and the narrowness at which they view the world. I would not have expected you to understand without having passed through the trials of life that I have seen.”

             
Thane’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. He was so ashamed. He had only ever thought of himself and how badly others had treated him. What about Tam? He and Dor were always mean to her. How was that different than how he had been treated? “You are right.” He finally whispered.

             
Bedler patted his hand. “Age brings wisdom my boy. I was just like you when I was your age, but I have learned through long, hard experience to look a little deeper than most.” Bedler grinned. “It’s amazing what you can find out.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

              Thane stood by the window, having pulled the drape back to allow a little more light in to brighten the room. A large mass of clouds had blown in from the mountains to the north, shrouding the valley in a cool darkness that was fitting for such a bleak land. As far as the eye could see, everything appeared dead and tortured sinking his heart even more at the evident pain the valley seemed to suffer.

He was still feeling confused and guilty from his conversation with Lord Bedler the night before. Everything suddenly felt different to him. What if the old man was right? He tried to think back to all the times he had battled the trolls and he still couldn’t help but feel that they had attacked for no reason.
No reason
?
There had to be a reason
. Bedler’s word’s kept coming back to him over and over again.
Maybe it is we who are the evil ones
. His mind brought back the image of Whar. He
was
a disgusting looking creature. But he had labeled him as bad almost immediately based solely on his appearance.
I wonder how I look to him
?
I wonder if he feels the same about me
,
thinking me as evil because I look different
?
Maybe that is why some of the trolls had attacked
.
Maybe they were just the more evil or intolerant of the group
.
If they were all bad
,
wouldn’t they have wiped us out a long time ago like Lord Bedler had said
?

He suddenly realized the hypocrisy of his life. He had always wanted to be seen by others as who he was, not what he was. Were trolls or goblins any different? “No longer,” he said out loud. “I refuse to live that way anymore.” He suddenly felt a strange sense of relief, as if a burden had been lifted.