Handsome Harry (5 page)

B
y early spring the weather was still gray and chilly, the trees still mostly bare, and I was nearly broke. Earl and I were already thinking about which bank on the list to hit next when Pearl Elliott offered us a job too good to pass up.

Pearl owned a Kokomo poolroom called the Side Pocket. She ran a speakeasy in the basement but her real money came from the cathouse on the second floor, the one Earl had raved to me about. He had been patronizing the place for the past couple of months, and he and Pearl had become pretty chummy. As I would come to find out, she had an adventurous nature and a history of shady dealings beyond her speakeasy and whores. She also had a reputation for being trustworthy and knowing how to keep her mouth shut. Bootleggers and other felonious types often used her as a money-holder and a go-between. A few years earlier, in East Chicago, Indiana, where she had her first house, she’d taken a fall for receiving stolen property. She
would’ve pulled a suspended sentence if she’d named the people she was fencing for but she dummied up and the judge gave her eighteen months. By the time she got out she’d lost the house, but the guys she’d stood up for told her they knew of a robbery team looking for a woman driver and asked if she was interested. The stickup guys were glad to have her—she was good at the wheel and a woman driver made for a better cover. As soon as she had enough money she opened another house, this one in Kokomo, where things weren’t quite as intense as in East Shy. But she still kept her hand in an assortment of other enterprises. Which is how she came to offer us the job.

Earl drove me up to meet her one night, saying she had a proposition, but he wanted me to hear it from her personally. We were about to enter the place through an alleyway door when it abruptly swung open and in the sudden cast of light a guy got the bum’s rush past us and went sprawling on the pavement. Somebody handed the bouncer a hat and he sailed it at the evicted guy and said Don’t come back. The guy struggled to his feet and said he’d been thrown out of better places. The bouncer laughed and said Shit, you’ve never even been allowed
in
better places. Then he saw us and said Hey, Earl, how goes it?

Pearl met us at the bar and Earl made the introductions. He had told me she was about forty years old, and she looked it to me, with lines around her neck and crow’s-feet at her eyes. But she was nicely groomed and had fine strawberry-blond hair, and although she was a little hefty for my taste, she had some nice curves on her. She gave me a bold once-over and said Goodness, aren’t you a cutie, then took us into her private office.

She poured us a drink and explained the situation to me. An acquaintance of hers—Let’s call him Moe, she said—had learned that a certain bank in town would on a certain day be holding ten thousand dollars of payroll money for several local factories. Moe had found himself a partner and they had then recruited her to be their driver for 20 percent of the take. But then two days ago—only four days be
fore the job—Moe got in a fight in a west side speakeasy and was hauled off to jail where they found out he was a parole violator and wanted for questioning in a St. Louis jewel heist. That was it for Moe.

The partner—whom she called Ted—had only lately been paroled from a prison back East. He had never worked in the Midwest, and he didn’t know anybody he could call on to replace Moe. He was desperate not to let this fat job slip away, so he asked Pearl if she knew somebody who might want in. She knew several somebodies, but they were all seasoned pros and nobody she talked to would take the job on such short notice for less than 50 percent, a cut that was out of the question, since Ted was set on 40 for himself and she was in for 20, no matter what. Then she thought of Earl. Without having gotten too specific, Earl had told her that he and a partner had recently hit their first bank and were looking to do more of them. So she’d offered him the job, but he’d said he wouldn’t do it unless his partner was in on it too.

If Earl and I would settle for a 40 percent cut to split between us, she said, we were in. We could meet Ted in the morning and he’d give us the lowdown and we’d do the job the next day. Did we have a deal?

I looked at Earl and he gave me a wink. Sure, I said.

Next morning we all met for coffee at a downtown diner. We sat across the table from Pearl and Ted in a back booth and she introduced us as Harry and Earl and said she thought it would be smart if we kept our acquaintance to first names only. That was fine all around—the less a guy knew about you, the less he could tell the cops if he got collared. I didn’t mention it but it crossed my mind that only Pearl knew who everybody was.

Ted was a beefy guy with a nervous tic in one eye and a habit of sucking his lips like he was trying to get rid of a bad taste. He had yardbird written all over him.

It was a simple enough plan. We’d rent three cabins for two nights at the Happy Trails Motor Camp about ten miles outside of
Kokomo. We’d leave Earl’s Maxwell and Ted’s Chrysler there in the morning and come into town in Pearl’s Model T, which looked exactly like every other black Ford sedan in the country but would be carrying license plates off a junkyard car. Another of Pearl’s sidelines was the sale of license tags. She got them from a variety of sources in a variety of states, and there was never a shortage of buyers.

We would hit the bank as soon as it opened. Ted described the layout and assigned me to the door and gave Earl the job of disarming the guard and keeping everybody in line while he himself collected the money from the vault. When Ted gave me the high sign, I would go out and signal Pearl to bring up the car and we’d all hop in and get gone. Back at the motor camp we’d divvy the loot and everybody go his own way.

Did we have any questions?

I said it sounded like a solid plan to me, and Earl nodded.

Well then, Pearl said.

It’ll go smooth as oil, Ted said.

A
nd it did—right up to the part where we were all supposed to get gone.

As soon as Ted came out of the vault and gave me the nod, I stepped outside and beckoned Pearl, who had the Ford idling at the end of the street. She was wearing sunglasses like ours and a man’s hat with her hair tucked up under it, and she wheeled up in front of the bank, fast and slick. I jumped into the front seat and Earl zipped into the back.

But Ted wasn’t behind him.

He was at the bank door, struggling with the guard and some other guy, the guard with an arm around Ted’s neck from behind and the other guy trying to get the gun out of his hand. There was yelling and shrieking and the alarm started shrilling and Earl said Oh shit. The sack of money was on the floor by the doorway. The three of them staggered
back into the lobby like drunk wrestlers and fell down, still grappling for the gun. I jumped out and ran over and snatched up the money as the pistol went off—
blam
—and people
really
started screaming.

I dove back into the car and yelled
Go!
—and Pearl stomped on the gas and hauled us out of there.

S
he was as good behind the wheel as she’d claimed to be. In minutes we were well out of town and rolling along on an isolated farm road that circled back to the highway and the motor camp, no sign of anybody behind us.

I should mention here that Earl and I had already decided we weren’t going to stand for a measly 20 percent apiece, not with Ted getting 40. We intended to make our position clear to him when we got back to the cabins to cut up the take. Pearl would get her 20 all right, but the rest of the money would get evenly cut three ways. If he didn’t care for the new arrangement, too bad—there was only one of him and two of us. But, seeing how things turned out, there wouldn’t even be any argument about it.

As we were heading for the cabins, Earl said maybe God was telling us the split should be between him and me and to total hell with Ted.

Pearl cut her eyes at him in the rearview, then at me, then back to the road.

I’ll confess I was sorely tempted. But I said no, if we deserved an equal share, so did Ted.

Earl said he didn’t much like it that the sonofabitch had tried to cheat us.

He didn’t try to cheat us, I said. He just hadn’t been fair with us. There was a difference.

Well hell then, Earl said, did we have to be
fair
to him?

The take was less than we’d expected—$8,900. In appreciation for bringing us in on the heist and doing such a good driving job, we
gave Pearl two grand, a little more than she’d bargained for. Then Earl gestured at the rest of the money still on the bed and said Well?

I said we’d be fairer to him than he’d been willing to be to us. I counted out $2,400 for Earl and the same for me, leaving $2,100 for Ted. If he had any complaints, he could sue us. I gave his share to Pearl, who would get word to him that she was holding it. He’d probably need the dough for a lawyer.

It was only midmorning but Pearl got a flask from her bag and we had a drink to celebrate. Earl told her he’d come back to the Side Pocket later in the day to see her. He didn’t say it like a buddy but like a guy who was getting ideas. She said she couldn’t promise she wouldn’t be busy. Earl said he’d take the chance.

While he was outside putting the real plates back on her car, Pearl said it broke her heart when the wrong guy got sweet on her. Then she gave me a kiss on the mouth and said she’d wouldn’t be busy if I came to see her.

I said I appreciated the invitation and thought she was aces but she wasn’t my type. How do you know till you try me, she said. She kissed me again, this time with plenty of tongue in it, and I have to say the woman knew how to kiss. She smiled and patted my cheek and said the invitation was always open. Then went out and thanked Earl and left.

Earl followed me to Tipton, where we ditched Ted’s car. As we rolled on to Indy, he asked if I thought he had much chance with Pearl. He knew she
liked
him, but he had a feeling that was as far as it went. Did I think she might give him a tumble?

I didn’t see the need to make him feel bad about it any sooner than he was going to, so I said Sure man, why not?

A
s soon as we got home I gave Sandra a call, and she talked me into going to her river house for a few days. I asked if she could get a friend for Earl and she said certainly, but she
wanted the two of us to enjoy a private supper first, so I should tell him not to show up till after nine o’clock. Earl was excited about the whole thing and thought the plan was perfect, since it gave him enough time to go up and see Pearl first. Maybe he’d get lucky, he said, and get it from two women in one day. He knew how to dream once upon a time, Earl did, I’ll say that for him.

Sandra and I were leaving right away, but she’d given me the address to give to Earl. I taped it to the icebox and stuck my head in the bathroom where he was singing in the shower and told him where it was. Then I was out the door.

The drive was a little more than two hours, and the afternoon turned gray and chilly. Her house was the nearest thing to a mansion I’d ever been in—a huge two-story with gables and balconies and three chimneys. She wasn’t sure how many rooms the place had. A middle-aged couple lived in an efficiency off the kitchen and took care of the house. The fireplace mantel was lined with dozens of photographs of distinguished-looking men and women, some of the men posing in front of factories. The house was on a bluff, and boats and barges chugged by on the misty river below. You could see downtown Louisville.

Her bathroom was equipped with a Roman tub. She lit a few clusters of candles for mood and drew us a hot bubble bath that smelled of violets. At hand was an ice bucket with a bottle of brandy. We did it in the bubbles and then dried each other off and did it again on her bed, which was big enough to take up most of Earl’s living room. I napped briefly while she saw to supper, then she woke me and we went downstairs to a meal of broiled sole, asparagus, and a bottle of Chablis. She said what she liked best about me were what she called my dangerous blue eyes and that I didn’t ask questions. I said what I liked best about her was everything.

We were back in bed and about to have another go-round when we heard loud but indistinct voices downstairs. It wasn’t even seven o’clock yet but I figured Earl might have arrived sooner than planned.
Sandra wasn’t happy about it and was practically growling as she put on a robe and went downstairs to investigate. I never saw her again.

I was sitting up in bed and smoking a cigarette when the door crashed open and two gorillas barged in. One pointed a pistol at me and the other stuck a shotgun in my face and said Harry Pierpont, you’re under arrest for bank robbery.

W
hen they told me Ted’s true name was Thaddeus Skeers, I laughed out loud, but it proved to be his real moniker, all right. There’d been warrants on him for breaking parole and for two drugstore robberies back East someplace, and there were witnesses in both holdups who could identify him. He was facing the big bitch—a mandatory life sentence on the habitual criminal law for a third felony conviction. The only way he could avoid the bitch was by giving up his partners in the bank job.

The bastard had been plenty willing to finger me and Earl, but he didn’t have much to bargain with, since all he could tell them was what we looked like and our first names, and for all he knew they weren’t true. For some reason he didn’t rat on Pearl. The cops thought she was another guy, and Skeers let them go on thinking it. He said he’d never seen the driver before the day of the job and all he knew about him was he called himself Jackson. The cops were ready to throw the book at him, but Thaddeus had a hole card. He must’ve been used to things going wrong and had learned to prepare for that eventuality, because he’d taken the precaution of writing down the plate numbers on Earl’s car. The cops were floored when the plate turned out to be legit. They went to the address of record for Earl Northern and there he was, all dressed up and about to leave for Kokomo. Five minutes later and they would’ve missed him. Half an hour earlier and they would’ve had me there too.