Hannah Howell (31 page)

Ballard talked about how young Willie would fit neatly into their lives. She replied in all the appropriate places, but her focus was on how to turn his thoughts to more passionate subjects.

Ballard had never before been reticent when it came to lovemaking. In fact, he had freed her of the restraints of her own well-taught modesty, and she knew she had learned the lesson well. It was amusing now to realize that she was eager to make love in such a beautiful place while Ballard was hesitating.

She was just going to have to show him, she thought with an inner grin. Part of her was shocked at how daring she felt, but it was a good feeling and she wanted to revel in it. The only word she could think of to describe the mood she was in was
wicked.
She was not sure she had the skill to do so, but suddenly she wanted to put Ballard into such a state of passionate confusion that he did not know which way was up. All he would know was that he was thoroughly enjoying himself. Clover smiled faintly as she slowly began to unbutton his shirt.

Ballard tensed, not sure of Clover’s intention. He wanted to be sure. For once he wanted her to initiate
the lovemaking, with the same passion and eagerness with which he made love to her. He did not want to have to seduce her, cajole her, or even ask her. She had grown deliciously free in her lovemaking and now he wanted her to take that final step, to have the courage to ask him to share her desire.

“Did ye think I was feeling a wee bit warm?” he asked, a little surprised when she tugged off his shirt.

“I was rather hoping you were,” she murmured as she ran her hands over his chest.

“Actually, lass, it does seem to be getting a wee bit hot.”

As she touched her lips to his, she whispered, “Hot is very good, is it not?”

He had no chance to respond before she began to kiss him. Her kiss was deep and hungry, and Ballard wrapped his arms around her to hold her close. She was acting very boldly, far more boldly than he had imagined she would, but he had no inclination to stop her. Although it was what he wanted, it was a little confusing, for it was as if she had become someone else, and he could not be sure what she would do next. Her daring behavior had his passion running hot, but he struggled to restrain himself and see just how far she would take them. However, he could not resist undoing her bodice so that he could feel her silken skin beneath his hands.

She ended the kiss and sat up, straddling him. As she held his gaze, she unpinned her hair and shook it free until it tumbled around her shoulders. His hungry, surprised expression encouraged her. She slipped out of her bodice and tossed it aside. As she stood up, she untied her skirt and petticoats and let them fall, kicking them away. She rested her foot on
his chest, untied her garter, and slowly rolled her stocking down. Ballard’s breathing visibly increased as she did the same with the other stocking. After shimmying out of her underdrawers, and laughing softly at Ballard’s groan, she sprawled on top of him again. It felt good to see that hot desire on his handsome face and know that she had caused it. She wondered when she should take off her chemise, trying to decide what would be the sultriest way to go about it.

Clover kissed Ballard, but when he tried to put his arms around her, she grasped his wrists and pinned his hands to the blanket. He could break her hold easily, but he did not try. Often when he stared at her as intently as he was now, she began to grow uncertain, wondering if she was doing something wrong. This time his look only inspired her. She slowly began to kiss her way down his lean body.

He shifted restlessly beneath her soft, warm kisses and caresses. He groaned and tried to speak his pleasure when she drew idle designs on his stomach with her tongue. She began to undo his breeches, and when she started to tug them off, he shifted his body to help her. As she slid her hands up and down his legs, then placed shy kisses on his inner thighs, Ballard feared he would soon lose the ability to lie calmly and enjoy her every touch and kiss. He ached to touch her.

When she placed her warm lips on his erection, he gave a hoarse cry and reached down to thread his fingers through her thick hair. He lost control rapidly as she caressed him with her lips and tongue. The last thread of that control snapped completely when she took him into her mouth. His body bucked from the force of the pleasure that ripped through him. Clover
hesitated, but cupping her small face in his hands, he silently urged her to continue. He had the strength to savor that delight for only a moment before he grasped her under the arms and tugged her up his body.

To his surprise, Clover still kept control of their lovemaking. She eased their bodies together and then grew still. Ballard was breathing hard and fast as he watched her seductively shed her thin linen chemise. With her delicate hands on his chest, she began to move. He tried to keep some rein on his needs, but his body wanted no more of his self-imposed restraints. As his release tore through him, he gripped her slim hips and held her tightly against him as he tried to bury his body as deeply within hers as he could. Her cry of satisfaction quickly followed his, and he held her close when she sagged against him.

For a long while Ballard just held Clover, staring up at the sky, listening to their breathing slow to a normal rhythm and feeling the lingering tremors of their sated bodies begin to fade. When she eased the intimacy of their embrace, he allowed her enough leeway to shift into a comfortable position, still keeping her close. He suddenly wished he had some skill with pretty words so that he could tell her how much pleasure she had given him.

Clover peeked up at Ballard and caught him watching her. She expected to suffer at least some embarrassment over her wantonness, but she did not. Today she had wanted to be bold and daring, and she had heartily enjoyed herself. Making love to Ballard had soothed something else inside her.

From the moment she had recognized how much she loved him, the words to tell him so had sat on the tip of her tongue. Every time she talked to him, she
was afraid she would say those words. Theirs was a marriage of mutual convenience, with the welcome addition of a strong passion. He had not spoken of love, however, and she could not bare her heart and soul to the man until she had some clue that he wanted or even sought such an emotion. But in their lovemaking, she could show him how much she loved him. She did not need to keep her feelings locked away.

“Weel, loving,” Ballard murmured, “‘tis clear ye can be powerfully inspired by a fine, sunny day.”

She laughed. He appeared extraordinarily content.

Her desire for brazen lovemaking might not come upon her often, she mused, kissing Ballard again, but when it did, she could be sure he would eagerly accommodate her.

“Betrothed?”

Staring at her mother, Clover sank onto the bed. Her mother calmly nudged her off the dress Clover had laid out to wear to dinner with Cyril Potsdam. She numbly inched aside.

Although she had accepted her mother’s romance with Colin Doogan, she had never fully considered what it might lead to. And so soon! It was only a month since the spring revel and, while Colin and Jonathan had come around nearly every day, she was still surprised at the short duration of her mother’s courtship.

“Did you think Colin and I were just playing some idle game?” Agnes asked.

“No,” Clover answered. “I never really gave it much thought, I guess.”

“One does not work so arduously at something, as arduously as Colin has worked at courting me, without a set purpose in mind.”

“No, of course not. I began to wonder if he and Jonathan ever got any work done because they were
over here so often. Thank you,” she murmured to Molly, who handed her a cup of tea.

“The same can be said for Jonathan Clemmons,” Agnes said with a quick glance at Molly.

“Surely you are not surprised by that,” Molly said. “I thought you had guessed my plans for the man the day we all first met. Although Jonathan
was
quicker to fall in with my intention than even I hoped he would be! I suspect Jonathan was inspired to propose when Colin made up his mind to ask your mama for her hand. It certainly did not hurt our cause that Colin’s family and Jonathan’s mother were eager for the matches and willingly freed them of work whenever possible.”

“Are you to be married in a shared ceremony?” Clover almost laughed when her mother and Molly nodded, but her shock was still too strong to allow more than a hint of amusement.

Agnes sat down next to Clover. “You are thinking that I am being disloyal to your father.”

Clover shook her head. “No, not really. To be honest, Mama, I am not sure what I am thinking.” She looked at Molly. “I know you wanted a husband, Molly. I am just a little surprised at how quickly you got one. Do not mistake me, I am pleased for you, but are you sure Jonathan is the one you want?”

“Very sure,” Molly answered. “I was sure the first time I set eyes on the man. I took one look at that big plain face of his and said to meself, That be the one, girl. Decided not to let any grass grow under my feet.”

“You certainly did not. I am glad for you, Molly. I hope this marriage brings you happiness.”

“It will. Now I will leave you and your mother alone so you can talk.”

Molly left. Clover took another sip of tea. She did not really want to talk about Colin and her mother’s impending marriage. Her feelings were too unclear and she knew her mother would want to know exactly how she felt. Clover was afraid her uncertainty would hurt her mother, that Agnes would interpret it as disapproval.

Agnes touched her arm and sighed. “I am sorry this has upset you, dear,” she said.

“Mama, I do not know if it has
upset
me or not. When you told me you were planning to marry Colin, I was plunged into confusion. I simply have no idea what I am feeling or thinking.”

“Are you scandalized perhaps?”

“Maybe just a little, but that has already begun to pass. For one brief moment I thought, Oh, God, what will people say? Then I realized I do not care.”

“There, you just clarified one of the things you are feeling.” Agnes stood up. “We can discuss your other feelings while I help you prepare for your dinner at Mr. Potsdam’s.” She took Clover’s hand.

Even as she allowed her mother to pull her to her feet, Clover protested, “I really would prefer not to talk about it. I do not want to inadvertently hurt your feelings in some way.”

Agnes began to help Clover into her blue brocade gown. “I am not so fragile, dear. And we can only settle what troubles you if we can figure out what it is. The wedding is to take place in one month’s time, when the preacher will be stopping in town. I do not want to spend one day of that time wondering if my daughter approves of what I am doing. In truth, I will
settle for acceptance if you cannot bring yourself to wholly approve.”

“You really want to marry him,” Clover murmured, smoothing down her skirts while her mother fastened her gown. “Do you love him so much then?” She let her mother lead her to a stool and begin to put up her hair.

“I
do
love him. I loved him all those years ago. Later, I convinced myself it was just passion. How could I love two such different men? Well, now I can accept that I did. In a way, it was a blessing that he was married and I was betrothed. It saved us both the agony of trying to choose between two people we loved. Our decision had already been made for us. We just suffered that bittersweet knowledge that there could be nothing between us and went our separate ways.”

“And now you have been given a second chance.”

“Exactly, and I have decided to take it. I loved your father dearly, child, and if any other man was trying to court me, I could probably follow all the rules. ‘Tis Colin, however, and I do not want to wait. In a way, I feel fate has thrust us together again, that this has always been my destiny. You must admit ‘twas an unusual sequence of events that led us to Kentucky. Fate has always intended that Colin and I should be a comfort to each other at this time in our lives.”

Clover smiled. She had always believed in fate to some degree. Now that she loved the man she had so impulsively married, her faith in fate had grown. How else could she explain her luck in simply plucking a man off the street yet still getting the perfect partner?

“How have the twins taken the news?” she asked as
she studied the way her mother had arranged her hair, with fat sausage curls draped artfully over one shoulder.

“They are young, dear. They just accept such things. They were a little concerned that they would have to call Colin Papa right away, which they do not, and they are not sure they like the idea of living elsewhere, for they have come to love Ballard and this farm. As you can see, children only concern themselves with basic matters.”

For a moment Clover stared at her hands. Talking had helped. Her shock and surprise had faded. She did accept her mother’s forthcoming marriage, even her mother’s love for Colin Doogan. She stood up and hugged Agnes.

“I hope you will be very happy. He is a good man.”

“Are you sure, dear? You seem to have settled your confusion rather quickly.”

“It was mostly shock, Mama. Once that faded, I found nothing to upset me about the marriage.” She grimaced. “There was only one troubling emotion.”

“And what is that?”

“Jealousy.” She gave her mother a crooked smile. “You and Molly were courted and you fell in love.”

Agnes hugged her daughter, holding her close for a full minute. “I know. I realized that myself, was ashamed of myself for enjoying such frivolities while you have never had them with Ballard. One cannot count that betrothal to Thomas, for he was clearly insincere in his emotions.” She held Clover at a slight distance. “But then I recalled that you have fallen in love with Ballard. Perhaps you two were also fated to be together.”

“I was just wondering that myself. Well, I suppose I am ready to go now.”

“You look lovely. Now, dear, there is one more thing I must tell you. I am going to Colin’s for dinner with his family, where I will try and get to know his many children. Since that may take until very late at night, I will be staying there in his housekeeper’s rooms. I am afraid Molly will not be here either. She is to have a celebratory meal with Jonathan and Mabel, and will spend the night in town.”