Hard Case VI: The Killer Inside (John Harding Book 6) (14 page)

“We know you gentlemen weren’t here to play pool with Metger and Clare. Unfortunately, you don’t have any open warrants. We can’t arrest you, but I’m curious. What bank were the dynamic duo thinking of hitting with you three?”

Silence. Smirks and eye-rolls made me glad Lynn was busy. She glanced toward them longingly, but we needed to hit the road with the bank robbers. We would keep an eye on these three, but I did want to know the bank they were interested in. If I used Tonto, some street camera or amateur movie maker would post it on YouTube or Twitter an instant after I finished. I made a split second decision not to put this capture in danger by fooling around with Larry, Curly, and Moe. Tommy and Lynn didn’t need me. They already deposited the bank robbing murderers in the cargo hold while I considered my options. I saw the snarly face projected for my benefit by the dude nearest me, definitely in my size and weight class. I figured he was itching to show me what a gangster he was. My companions joined me with the happy Tonto a moment later. I put away my Colt.

“We’ll need to check you three for weapons before we go. We know who you are, and that the three of you have prison records. That means meeting together here is a parole violation. Having weapons or drugs would be a second violation. Although we don’t have time or opportunity to screw around with you three, we aren’t leaving you all behind loaded for bear. One at a time turn and put your hands up on the shop window behind you.”

I pointed at Snarly. “You first.”

“Fuck you! FBI my ass! If it wasn’t for the dog I’d rip your arms off and shove them up your ass, you big pussy!”

I frowned because Tommy and Lynn started howling in laughter inappropriately. Even Tonto was grinning at me. The guy next to big mouth inched away.

“Do like he says, Cam! Didn’t you see the name on his ID? That’s John Harding. He’s killed guys in the octagon, dummy!” Right after espousing that he knew who I was, the guy in the middle turned and leaned with hands against the store window. His other friend followed suit without hesitation. “Met and Clare were recruiting us to hit the First Republic Bank in Los Gatos.”

The first guy swung on his comrade now with his hands on the store window. I plucked it out of the air by his wrist, drove him to his knees, and started his wrist bones crackling. He screamed like a three year old girl finding a spider on her dress. Even Tonto backed up in surprise. I released him, crouching next to ‘Cam’.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Did that hurt? Jump the hell up and put your hands on the window now, Cammie, or I’m going to bust your ribcage in. You have until I count to three.”

I only made it to two, and ‘Cam’ was in position, although his right wrist I had mangled was not. We patted them down and collected an assortment of weapons, personal use drugs, and unknown suspicious contraband unrelated to anything we were concerned with. We bagged the weapons as a few people were beginning to gather. I turned the guy who had helped me around.

“Thanks for the info. You and your buddies can go. My advice is to stay out of trouble. You’re on our radar.”

“Yes Sir. Uh… can you hold onto Cam until Jerry and I clear out.”

“Sure. Go ahead. I don’t think Cammie could hurt you right now anyway.”

I grabbed Cammie by the ear as his friends left the area. “Come here by our SUV for a few moments, Cammie. Move or make a sound, and I’m going to adjust your other wrist. We don’t want that, now do we?”

Cammie shook his head in the negative. Since we had the time, Tommy gestured he would pay off Darry, without tipping anyone else off. He went inside. Because of the danger, we’d decided Darry gets a thousand for his work tonight. Lynn and Tonto stood next to me until Tommy came out. Lynn seemed so calm now, I wondered if she planned on playing with Clare and Metger tonight. Tommy joined us a minute later. I know he paid off Darry in as unobtrusive a way as could be done. Darry had our number if anyone looked too interested in him, but we wanted observant contacts, and they were worth every penny we paid them. They knew Tommy and I paid top dollar.

“Okay, Cammie, you can go. Remember, we have your name, face, and address. If you think this was harassment, wait until we get wind of you doing something else we see on the radar screen. Don’t say anything. Just get out of our sight.”

Cammie almost didn’t take my advice. I could tell he was thinking about making a deadly error in judgement. I was all done with the warnings. Any cute tough guy zingers out of Cammie’s mouth, and he’d be fish food on Tuesday. Instead, Cammie walked off clutching his wounded arm. Lynn was disappointed, much to Tommy’s amusement.

“I see that look, Crue,” Tommy told her. “The Lord does not answer prayers for second chances to maim and kill.”

“Get in the driver’s seat, White Sands, before you take Cammie’s place in my prayers.”

“Yes… Ms. Daisy… right away, Ms. Daisy. We be drivin’, Ms. Daisy.” Tommy shuffle footed to the driver’s door.

“Take it easy, Crue,” I urged. “You still have new toys you have to get ready for the bank robber turnover episode. The Hollywood Bounty Hunters will be under your direction as they courageously transfer their two murderous bank robbers to the FBI under the auspices of our Bureau contacts, Labrie and Reeves. I figure you’ll need some planning and imagination to get those two delivering their parts on cue.”

“I know. I have my work cut out for me directing little Buffster and her team with those cardboard cutouts, Reeves and Labrie, for the bank robber episode. We can’t ruin this conviction playing around in the movie world. I’ll have to consult with Reeves tomorrow, and figure how much of a chance we’re taking on anything other than a straight hand over.”

“I believe they have them dead to rights, but I like your thinking. Before we have the Hollywoods fly here for the scene, we better make certain Reeves has a plan for prosecution.”

“White Cheese is right, Tonto. Let’s go tuck our toys in for the evening.” Tonto barked on cue. “I know… I know, but White Cheese is better than Yellow Cheese as long as we don’t get White Sands mixed in.”

“I heard that, Psycho!” Tommy was unhappy with his new tag. “Get in so we can finish this business for the evening. Quays has the duty tonight. We’d be screwed if not for the extra cell space.”

“We’re never screwed for space, White Sands. That’s what we have freezers for. If we run out of cell space, I’ll stack them in the freezer until we put the Banana in the Bay for poke and hook drills. The sharks are starting to recognize us. They only bump the Banana because they know the real foods coming without the wrapper later.”

Tommy shook his head in disgust. “Only you, Crue… only you.”

Crue let Tonto into the back, and then took shotgun next to Tommy by pulling me out by my ear. “In the back, Snow White Cheese. I don’t want any more contamination with Snow White Sands. You earned a little entertainment value with Cammie. It almost made me forget you two sissies turned an exciting bar takedown into a baby carriage jaunt in the park. If that’s your idea of a fun night bond retrieval, I’ll stick to changing diapers.”

“Yeah,” Tommy replied as Crue belted in and he drove toward Pain Central, “I’m really sure diaper changing is more exciting.”

“It is when I’m coercing Clint into doing it.”

* * *

“We’re full, John,” Quays said as we locked the very unhappy bank robbers into their separate cells. I had already sent Tommy home after we dropped Crue off, because I was sober as a judge by then. “I guess we could lock the girls together, and the boys could get another cellmate if need be.”

“We won’t have them here long. Besides, Clare would kill Fahima before the night was over. I bet her nonstop whining is getting on the boys’ last nerve.”

Quays smiled. “You’re not kidding. If we put her in with her Isis woman beaters they’d rip her apart. We’ve been watching them on the video screen. Gus took their meals down to them tonight, and they demanded halal meals. It was so funny. Gus wants to keep a few of these guys for entertainment on slow days. Whiney Fahima wants it all: clean washed clothes, different food, prayer beads, prayer rug, and put in a private room.”

This ought to be good. “Okay, what did you guys do?”

Quays stopped smiling. “Uh… we didn’t do anything, John.”

“Yeah right. What did Silvio invent?” I knew all three were handling the chores, but Silvio creates humorous scenes when we get prisoners who demand things, and sometimes unauthorized pranks. Denny’s the only one who cautions our three gatekeepers. I believe in the same prisoner treatment Crue does. Overcrowding of deadly enemies is not a problem. We make them into safe enemies. After all, if we were abiding by the actual Geneva Convention rules Gitmo would be empty because our enemies have no country, no flag, and no uniform. They attack legitimate nations as saboteurs which is punishable by death. Besides, sharks have to eat too. I have no problem with what our gatekeepers do with complaining prisoners. If they make too much noise, we make an example. At least when Silvio does it, the prank is funny, there are no casualties, it’s painful, and I don’t care.

“Denny’s not here, Quays. Tell me what’s going on.”

Quays shrugged. “Silvio electrified all the bunks when the cells were added. We started with whiney. When she took a nap from her complaining Silvio juiced her. She screamed and set off the others. After that was calmed down when Gus listened to her horrified description of being electrocuted, Gus promised to look into it. Then when the guys took to their racks, we zapped them too, and did a freshener on Fahima. Did you notice they were all standing around when we loaded the bank robbers?”

“Oh my. Crue is going to love you guys. I know you have those poor Isis prisoners’ plight in HD for her, right?”

“Of course. I edited the first highlight reel tonight. Will Denny be taking Fahima and Lut tomorrow?”

“He’s negotiating with foreign sources. Since they’ve already told us everything they knew about the supply lines into Mexico, and all their initial intrusions into our country, there’s no reason for us to keep them. Denny will get top dollar in favors for them though. They know much more about the countries they originated from, so a rendition would be the best deal for us.

“Do you think Denny will be pissed when he finds out about our added modifications done when the cell area was renovated?”

“Let me give Denny the details. I’ll square it with him. I’ll let you minions of the Mistress of the Unimaginable inform her of your upgrade. We’ll all be around tomorrow to straighten out our prisoner problems. We lucked out getting the bank robbers already. Lynn can play with them now, and possibly figure a way to still make a credible handoff scene for our Hollywood Bounty Hunters. I’m certain Reeves and Labrie will want to do a high profile FBI involvement in this if we can do it.”

“I will consider the Hollywood scenes through tonight, John. Perhaps I can think of a way after observing the famous Bonnie and Clyde.”

“That would be much appreciated, my friend. I’m heading for home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Are you really going into the Bay Tuesday with that torture device I saw? Crue sent us minions a picture of it, along with a brief description of what they plan to do to you. My advice, compadre is take us all to Vegas without the Bay poke and hook regimen, take a couple whacks from the Viking, and hit the canvas.”

“Representing the valiant Cheeseburger, I must express my outrage at your candid lack of positive thinking in regard to the Cheese’s chances, Mr. Tannous. I don’t suppose there’s a way to put in a spot on the end of the pole I hit where it sends a charge into Tommy or Crue is there?”

It was many moments of inappropriate derision on Quays behalf before he managed to squeak forth an answer. “No way, no how, not in this eternity or the next are we lighting up the Mistress of the Unimaginable for you, Cheese. Valiant, you may well be, amigo. Suicidal, we minions are not.”

I sighed. “Just taking a shot in the dark, Quays.”

“We’d all be in eternal darkness if we did something like that, and by the time she finished with us, we’d be begging to get there.”

“Well sure, when you put it like that, it sounds stupid,” I admitted reluctantly. “Get your affairs in order. We’re all going to Vegas for a well-deserved vacation in sin city.”

“Take a dive in the first, Cheese!” Quays called out to me as I strode to the door.

I grinned for my own benefit as I cleared the door. No way, no how, not in this eternity or the next.

* * *

Lora was waiting for me when I came home. She had been dozing on the couch. To say she looked provocative would be inadequate in the extreme. Lying curled there in a see through black silk negligee with her blonde hair splayed out around her face, she made me forget the entire damn day. I reset the alarms, and knelt next to her. She stirred a bit as I stroked her back with feather-light touches.

“You look very nice. It’s nearly 3 am though. I’d understand if you lost that lovin’ feeling waiting here all this time.”

She smiled sleepily, reaching to grip my chin. “You must be exhausted. How did it go?”

“I was exhausted until I saw you lying here. We gathered Bonnie and Clyde without much trouble, and some humor of course from Cruella Deville. She refers now to me and T as Snow White Cheese and Snow White Sands because we didn’t allow her to take Tonto into the Cinebar and start a riot.”

This of course elicited much amusement from my wife who is a big Cruella Deville fan. I added on being pulled from the front passenger seat by the ear so as to not mix White Cheese and White Sands which really set her off. She hugged me after a time, as impure thoughts raced through my head at flank speed.