Hard Edge (3 page)

I sniffled and turned to hug Grady’s dad too. He felt more solid, more steady on his feet than his wife, but he wasn’t anywhere near to the big shouldered man with the booming laugh I remembered. He was a thick, strong man, but he seemed hollow and breakable as I held him.

Aunt Bev had returned with a bundle of tissue in her fingers. I took some and wiped my eyes. “If there’s anything you need, just let us know.” It was the only sentence I could get out without breaking into sobs.

“Actually, there is one thing you could do.” Aunt Bev spoke gently. It seemed she’d had to take over and make sure things moved along during a time when her sister and brother-in-law were too overwhelmed with grief to make decisions. “Caden left several hours ago. We had planned to take him with us, but we’ll miss our appointment if we wait for him.”

Grady’s dad took hold of my arm and patted my hand. “Cade is taking this very hard. You’re the one person who might be able to give him some comfort.”

“Me?” I shook my head.

“I know Grady and you were close, but you were always very important to Caden. More than he let on, I think. He mentioned he was going to the park. He complained the walls of the house were closing in on him. I walked down to the park but didn’t see him anywhere. He wasn’t at his mom’s either, but his truck is still parked out front.”

“I think I know where to find him. I’ll go right now.”

He squeezed my hand. “Thank you, Kenna.”

“We need to get going.” Aunt Bev ushered them toward the door, and I followed them out. They all shuffled to the car as if there were weights on their feet. I watched them drive off and then turned in the direction of the park.

I headed along the sidewalk and thought about how many times Grady and I had ridden our bikes on the very same path. Caden was older by two years and had plenty of friends but whenever he was around, he’d hang out with us. He spent a lot of that time teasing me, even making up the nickname, Trinket, because I was so small in junior high. Even after I’d stretched up tall in high school, he still called me Trinket. He never seemed to tire of teasing me. And I had never minded because when it came to Caden Stratton, any attention had been treasured.

Other than two small kids and their mom sitting under a tree tossing a ball around, the park was deserted. The green lawns stretched on around the corner and up the side of the embankment. And as the grass faded to dirt and then to rocks, my eyes focused on the crudely built fire pit at the top of the hill. Stone and wood benches had been erected in a half circle around a stone pit. It had been built mostly for scout meetings and the occasional business picnic, but it was rarely used anymore. When we were kids, Grady, Caden and I had designated it our place to get away, a place to hang out away from parents and everyone else.

I hiked along the path, and it happened again, like it had so often in the past few days, a fleeting moment where the accident had been erased and Grady was still alive and well, waiting for me at the top with a cold soda and a question about the math homework. Then the moment passed, and the cold, bitter reality that he was gone swept in like a harsh wind.

I couldn’t see the benches or Caden as I made my way up the dusty trail. It was entirely likely that he wasn’t even at our old spot. It was almost silly and sentimental of me to think that he would be there.

The last section of narrow trail had been overgrown with weeds, and an outcropping of shrubs blocked part of it. Apparently, the city had decided not to waste money on such a remote section of the park.

I pushed dry, prickly branches out of my way as I hiked up the path. I stepped past the last shrub and into the clearing that led to the campfire area. It was as rundown as the trail. The only sign that a human had been through it in the near past was a brown paper bag concealing everything but the neck of a liquor bottle sitting on one of the benches.

I glanced around the area. And there, at the far end, past the circle of stone and wood benches, in the shadows of the trees, was a tall figure with broad shoulders. I stood and waited for him to walk out, not entirely convinced he wanted to see or talk to me, or anyone for that matter. Caden had always been good at keeping to himself when he was upset.

A few long seconds passed, and I nearly lost my nerve and headed back down. I hadn’t seen or talked to Caden since Grady’s and my high school graduation when he’d come home for two days, looking even more heartbreaking than usual in his army fatigues.

I moved to turn around, convinced Caden didn’t want to talk or be bothered.

Then the leaves crunched beneath his feet as he stepped out from the trees. He had filled out, and, as my mom had noted, he’d added a lot of tattoos. Heavy black beard stubble covered his chin, but I could still see the familiar determined set of his jaw. The innocence of youth and living in a small town had been completely erased. And my heart still melted at the sight of him. My secret crush, a crush I couldn’t even tell my best friend about. Especially my best friend. The guy who I’d spent too many hours daydreaming about, too many hours trying to impress, was standing in front of me looking about as lost and sad as I’d ever seen him.

Caden stepped into the circle of benches and stared at me a long moment. I saw his throat move with a hard swallow. Then he spoke. “Where the hell have you been, Trinket?”

My body shook and the tears fell as I plodded toward him with heavy feet and an even heavier heart. I couldn’t look at his face as I pressed into his arms and buried myself against his chest.

Chapter 4

Caden

My arms wrapped
around Kenna. I held her tightly and realized it was the first time I’d taken a solid breath since Mom had called me with the news. I gazed down at the top of her blonde head, and it occurred to me that I’d never had her in my arms like this. There’d been times, while we were messing around as teenagers, when I’d picked her up to toss her in a pool or help her down off a tree limb or wall, but I’d never actually had her tucked against me and in my arms.

I’d been in Mayfair three days wandering aimlessly back and forth between my parents’ houses, trying hard to console my dad and Sally, but doing a fucking pathetic job of it. I was in too much pain myself to be of any comfort to them.

Relatives and friends had been in and out of my dad’s house, neighbors bringing flowers and food, aunts and uncles who’d come to town for the funeral, but I’d hardly said a word to any of them. Kenna was the person I’d waited for, the one person I needed to see.

Without thinking, I leaned down and kissed her forehead. She lifted her face to mine. Her brown eyes were glassy with tears.

I brushed her long bangs back. “I figured you’d know where to find me.” I could have held her like that for hours, for days, right through the damn funeral and right until she walked onto the plane to fly back to New York. Only she wasn’t mine to keep.

I lowered my arms. She wiped at her tears and stepped back.

She glanced around at the run-down circle of benches. “Guess the city doesn’t have this place on their budget list anymore. It sure looks different than when we used to hang out up here.”

“Shit, I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives since then.” I walked over and sat down next to my bottle of whiskey. I picked it up, took a swig and held it up to Kenna.

“I don’t normally start my whiskey drinking until noon.” She reached for it. “But what the hell.” She took a swig and then scrunched up her button nose and swallowed as if she was chugging down a handful of gravel. “That’s truly awful. I’m pretty sure that is what jet fuel would taste like.” She took another drink and handed it back to me.

She sat down on the bench next to me. The sun was lifting higher in the sky, reaching well past the shade provided by the surrounding overgrown trees. I took another drink. The whiskey had dulled my senses some, which was exactly the effect I’d been going for. But the ache in my bones and my chest and my head was still as strong as ever.

“How’s the leg?” Kenna asked.

“Hurts when the weather is cold, but I can’t complain.” I looked over at her. She still had the spray of freckles across her nose and those curly lashes and plump lips that made her look like a little girl’s fancy doll. She’d grown into a woman, but there was still plenty of
Trinket
left. In her early teens, Kenna had always been small and petite. I could still remember sitting in class and reading a story about a woman who found a shiny, pretty little piece of jewelry in her grandmother’s attic. The ‘trinket’ turned out to be a rare, priceless necklace. From that day on I’d called Kenna, Trinket. To both Grady and me she had always been just that, shiny, pretty and little . . . and priceless.

“How’s the law degree . . . and the fiancé?” I asked, not really wanting to know about the lucky man who’d ended up with my girl.

Kenna’s lips turned up slightly. “Seems you’ve been keeping up with the Mayfair gossip. Wouldn’t have expected it.”

“My mom makes sure of it. Every month she sends me a big ass email detailing every fucking thing that has happened during the past weeks. I always skim through to the parts about you.”

“Right.”

“You don’t believe me? Trinket, you and Grady were the only people who mattered to me in this town.”

Kenna stretched out her long, smooth legs and stared down at her feet. “I can’t come to grips with it yet, Cade. I keep thinking he’s still here, just waiting to go skateboarding or to go buy an ice cream cone.” Her voice wavered, and the sound of it made my throat tighten. “Rocky road. That was his favorite, unless—’

“Unless the ice cream shop had—what was that crazy ass concoction called?”

“Summer hash. Grady said it was all the good stuff shoved into one waffle cone.” Her voice faded as she spoke.

“I’m still waiting to wake up from this bad fucking dream. Sitting with you, Trinket, is the closest I’ll ever come to sitting with my brother again.” I picked up the whiskey. It tasted warm and disgusting, but it was holding my buzz at a level that kept me from thinking too hard.

Kenna reached over and took hold of the bottle. She winced and shuddered as she took another gulp. “Grady was one of those people who everyone wanted to know. I always felt extremely lucky that he liked me enough to keep me around as a friend.”

I looked over at Kenna. Was it possible she still had no idea how Grady felt about her? I knew. Our parents knew. I was sure the whole damn town knew. Kenna was beautiful, athletic, smart and funny, but she’d never realized her own worth. Growing up, there had never been any girls in Mayfair to rival her. And even so, she’d always kept her feet on the ground and her head on her shoulders. It seemed she’d never considered the possibility that she was a heartbreaker, that she was the type of girl who could wrap herself around your soul with just her laugh. And now some lucky bastard in New York had stolen off with the girl who Grady and I had loved since she’d ridden up to our house on her red bicycle.

“How long before you have to fly back? Are you missing classes?” I asked.

Kenna leaned back on her hands. “Wow, those few shots of whiskey make it feel as if my head is filled with helium and my legs with lead. I just finished a trimester. I didn’t sign up for summer session because I really needed a break . . . from everything.” She turned her face up to the sun and closed her eyes. “I think I might just revert back to my childhood and stay in Mayfair for awhile. My mom needs my help with the candy store. Oh, but I haven’t told her yet so mums the word.” She sat up and swayed forward a little farther than expected. My arm shot out to keep her from pitching forward.

She stared down at my arm and smiled weakly. “You’re pretty fast with that soccer mom mini-van move. Jeez, I’m a lightweight.” Her soft laugh was a sound I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was as awesome as always.

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I remember when Grady and I went to our first big shot high school party. I sipped this syrupy fruit punch all night, completely oblivious that it had been laced with rum. A lot of rum.” She pressed her arm against her stomach. “Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. Which, I did. Throw up, that is. On Grady’s new running shoes.”

I smiled. “The gray ones? I remember that. He had saved all his lawn mowing money up for months. The house was shaking with the sound of those damn things spinning in the washing machine. He must have washed them ten times to get the red stains out.”

Kenna hid her pink cheeks in her hands. “It was so embarrassing, and I felt so bad.”

“Then you used the money you’d been saving from babysitting to buy him a new pair. I think he liked those even better just because they came from you. He considered himself the lucky one, Kenna. We were both lucky to have you around.”

She grew quiet and stared down at the ground. Her thin shoulders shook with sobs. It was like being on a roller coaster. You could breathe and talk and even smile for a second and then the weight of it took you back to tears and sadness.

I dropped my arm around her shoulders, and she leaned her head against me. “There’s no way he should be gone already,” she said shakily. “The whole damn world feels a little colder now.”

“I’m not completely sure this town or my life will ever feel right side up again, Trinket. But I’m glad you came.”

“Will you be here long?” She peered up at me. Just seeing her big brown eyes blinking up at me, helped lift some of the gloom from my head. “It seems like we have a lot of catching up to do. I hope you stay for awhile.”

“I’m thinking about hanging around for a week or two. My dad seems to take some comfort in having me around. Not sure why, except I guess I’m his only kid now. If you’re staying, then I’ll stick around too, Kenna. Just sitting here with you in this circle of shrubs drinking piss warm whiskey has already helped me some.”

“I’m glad, Cade.” She leaned her head against me again. “See, and you always thought I was just an annoying, freckle-faced brat.”

“Pretty much.” I tightened my arm around her.