Hard Edge (7 page)

Chapter 11

Kenna

The morning sun
filtered through the slats on my bedroom blinds. I sat on my bed with Scooby in my lap for support. The phone on the other end rang. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping he wouldn’t answer. I hadn’t worked up the courage or words yet, but I needed to tell him.

I wasn’t delusional. I knew Caden’s kiss and these few days at the beach were just a way for Caden and me to fill in the hole left in our hearts. Caden would never be tied down to one woman. I just happened to be here, helping him get through a dark period in his life. And it worked both ways. Even though I knew nothing would come of any of it, I needed to do this. I wasn’t being fair or honest to Jeremy, and he deserved better.

“Hey, baby, what’s up? Actually, I’m glad you called. That internship at the firm is back in play and—”

“Jeremy.” I’d finally found a trickle of courage. “Jeremy, I need to talk to you.”

A long pause from his side.

“What wrong, Kenna? You sound upset.”

“Jeremy, being away has given me some time to think, and I’m not being fair to you.”

“Baby, just get on a plane and come home. We can talk through all the problems.”

“No, Jeremy, this isn’t a lawsuit. This isn’t about problem solving. I don’t want to be engaged anymore.”

“You’re breaking it off?”

“You can’t be surprised, Jeremy. You know I haven’t been happy for awhile.”

“Thought it was just the pressure of law school.” The disappointment in his voice was palpable through the phone.

“It’s a little bit of everything. We both want really different lifestyles. I realized I’ve been trying to fit into your life without even giving a second thought about my own.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Guilt squeezed down on me, as it seemed I’d hurt him badly. But then he spoke again. “I want that fucking ring back. It cost me half a year’s salary.”

I was stunned by how harshly he spoke. It occurred to me that I really had just been one of his prized possessions, like his Rolex watch. Maybe that had been the reason behind me falling out of love with him.

“Of course I’ll give it back to you. I can put it in the mail today.” Suddenly we were talking like two business people parting ways and detailing our last transaction. I wasn’t sure whether to feel angered, hurt or completely and utterly relieved. The latter seemed the best way to go.

“I don’t trust the postal service with an expensive ring. Just bring it when you come to pack up your things.”

I’d put in half the deposit and I’d been paying my share on the overpriced apartment, but for a clean, smooth break I was willing to forfeit all of it. “All right. I’ll be there next week to pack up.”

“Don’t know where the hell you think you’re going to find another apartment out here, or maybe you’re going to skip out on law school and move back there to Hokie Town, U.S.A..”

He was angry, and he had every right to be. I ignored his last comment, mostly because I had no idea what the hell I was doing anymore. “I’ll be there next week to pick up my things and give you the ring. I’m sorry, Jeremy. Good-bye.”

I slid off the engagement ring. It felt as if I’d taken a hundred pound weight off my hand. I placed it in the top drawer of my nightstand for safe keeping. In the midst of what I’d been sure would break his heart, Jeremy’s mind had gone straight to the ring. That reaction, which, I realized now, I should have expected, had relieved some of my guilt.

I stood up. It felt as if someone had pumped helium into my shoes. I felt lighter and happier. I felt free. Then I heard my mom clanking around in the kitchen and the weight fell on my shoulders again. I had to tell her next, and she, unlike Jeremy, would be heartbroken.

I picked up my duffle bag and stepped into the hallway. I decided to catch her when she was poring over her spreadsheets, adding up her profits for the week. Profits always made her happy.

Mom looked up as I placed my duffle bag on the kitchen floor. She pushed up her glasses. “Kenny? Where are you going?” Her expression dropped like a lead weight. “Are you going to back to New York already?”

“No, I’m staying here in California, but I’m heading up to Chantry’s Pointe for a few days. I’ll be back soon.”

The confusion on her face turned to concern. “Is everything all right, Kenny. You don’t seem yourself. Is it Jeremy? Everyone gets pre-wedding jitters.”

I shook my head to stop her. “I need a little time to rethink everything. Grady’s death has put some things into perspective for me.” My courage escaped me, and I couldn’t get the words about the breakup out.

Mom got up from her chair. I heard Dad walk into the kitchen. I was hoping I was going to get away with telling one parent and letting the news travel down the chain without me having to face them both.

“Kenna’s going to the beach for a few days,” Mom told Dad, as if I was doing something bad.

Dad walked straight to the refrigerator. “Don’t forget the sunscreen.”

“See, Mom. Dad understands.” I was a chicken and a coward. I knew my news would disappoint them. I’d always been predictable. I’d always done the right thing.

Mom shot a disappointed eye roll Dad’s direction and returned her focus to me. “Who are you going with?”

I had been hoping to escape the interrogation without the key question. I was standing in my parents’ kitchen, and I had to remind myself that I was no longer a teenager asking for permission to go out for the night. “I’m going with Caden.”

My mom’s flat-faced look of disapproval that followed was one I hadn’t seen in many years. With the exception that Mom had more wrinkles and creases around her eyes, it hadn’t changed a bit. “Oh, Kenna, do you think that’s a good idea?”

Dad carried his can of soda to the counter and popped it open. It seemed this newly added information had piqued his interest in my beach trip.

“Why isn’t it a good idea? Caden is a good friend. He lost his brother. I lost my best friend. We’ve been through a lot.”

Mom shot Dad a glance that seemed to signify some secret, conspiratorial exchange between them. “But, Kenny—”

“What? You’re reading too much into this.” She wasn’t, of course, and I hated that she still knew everything I was thinking. The Mom sixth sense thing obviously never faded in power.

“Am I?” She glanced unnecessarily across the street at the Stratton’s house and then looked back at me. “You’ve always had such strong feelings for Caden. I worry that—”

“What?” I felt my cheeks flush pink. “Strong feelings? He was fun to hang out with and he was Grady’s brother.”

“And you had a crush on him that was big enough to break a hundred pounds of walnuts from their shells.”

I looked openmouthed and speechless to my dad for help. He lifted his can in a toast and winked.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, walnut lady. I admired him. That’s all.” I was digging myself into my own pit of lies. Stupidly, I thought I’d done a brilliant job of hiding my true feelings. But, apparently, my mom had known all along. Once again giving proof to the validity of the Mom sixth sense theory. 

“Kenny, you sat at that kitchen table every evening, doing homework and hoping to catch a glimpse of Caden. Dad and I were, of course, relieved that the crush only seemed to be one sided. Caden was a likable boy, but he was trouble. Dad and I had always hoped that you’d end up with Grady.” And that weird, unexpected parent confession, with the mention of Grady, sent her back to tears.

I shook my head and walked over to kiss Dad good-bye. “I’m going to the beach with Caden. I’m an adult now, so I’m just letting you know so you won’t wonder where I am. But I don’t need permission anymore.”

Mom sighed dejectedly as I kissed her cheek.

“I will be back in a few days to help you with your new orders.”

“What about New York?” she asked. It was the first time she’d brought up the east coast. A few days earlier, she’d been thrilled that I’d be staying on for a few weeks to help with her shop. Now she seemed anxious for me to get back to New York.

“I’m sure it’ll still be there when I get back from the beach. Then I’ll decide about my return ticket.” I picked up my duffle, deciding to make a run for it like a giant coward. If I told them that I’d broken it off with Jeremy, then it would only confirm their suspicions about the beach trip.

“Kenny,” Mom called to my back, “your ring, where’s your engagement ring?”

It seemed I’d underestimated her mom detective skills as well. I turned back around. My parents stood behind the kitchen island waiting for an explanation.

“I broke off the engagement. I can’t marry Jeremy. I don’t love him.”

“You’re just upset about Grady,” Mom insisted. “You’ll come around.”

Dad looked at her as if she’d grown horns. “Did you not just hear her? She doesn’t love him.” He looked at me. “It was the right decision, Kenna. A loveless marriage is no marriage at all.” And, with that small spark of philosophy, my dad picked up his soda and walked confidently out of the kitchen.

Mom’s reaction was a little less thoughtful. But something told me it had more to do with me spending time alone with Caden than with me breaking off an engagement with a successful young lawyer.

“Mom, I’ll be back in a few days. Then we can talk about everything.” I headed to the front door, deciding she needed time to absorb the news, and I—I just needed time.

Caden’s truck pulled up out front just as I stepped outside. Just seeing him helped relieve some of the anxiety and guilt I’d been feeling. I was doing something completely out of character. Up until now, I’d always stayed on the straight and narrow, the right path, with all my decisions. But what use was the straight and narrow if it was leading me in the wrong direction?

Chapter 12

Caden

I didn’t notice
the white band of skin on her ring finger until she reached forward to turn up the radio. I couldn’t remember the exact moment yesterday when I’d decided to ignore everything and kiss Kenna, but I hadn’t had one second of regret. I was sure she’d have changed her mind about the beach by now. All morning I’d expected a text telling me she wasn’t going after all and that the kiss had been a big mistake. But the text never came, and she seemed happy to be going. I had no idea what would happen next, but I was done trying to analyze things. I wanted Kenna. Plain and simple. If she wanted me back, then that would be the damn cherry on top.

Kenna caught me staring at her newly naked finger. She pulled her hand away from the radio and sat back, sliding her hand beneath her thigh. “It had nothing to do with this trip, or you, or the kiss. Well, maybe the kiss. I don’t deal well with guilt.”

I kept my eyes on the road, deciding this was a conversation that I was better off listening to than participating in. She was dealing with a lot, and I was just a little too good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

She gazed out her passenger window at the other cars on the freeway. “It hadn’t been right with Jeremy for a long time. I broke up with him this morning.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s a good thing.” She wiggled her thin shoulders. “I feel like I’ve been wearing my high school backpack crammed with textbooks for a whole year. Now that burden is gone. I’d gotten caught up in the glamour of living in New York, married to a high power lawyer and eventually becoming one myself. It was what I thought I wanted.” She relaxed back against the seat. “Until I realized it wasn’t what I wanted at all. It was success, but not the kind I was looking for. None of it was me.” She looked over at me. “Just so you don’t panic or freak out thinking I did it because of you. I didn’t.”

I nodded. “Good to know.”

“Not that you didn’t have a little part in it all, but really, I’ve been wanting out for a long time, long before I saw you again.”

“Right. Got it.”

Her small fist struck my shoulder.

“Ouch. Not sure I deserved that.”

“Yes, you did. You and your little succinct, ridiculously tactful replies.”

“I’m trying to be a good listener.”

“That’s very nice, but a little feedback would be appreciated. Did I do the right thing? Am I crazy and two-faced and flaky? Oh my gosh, I’m flaky. I never wanted to be flaky, and now I am. I’m a damn croissant.”

I couldn’t hold back a smile.

“And you’re laughing?”

I shook my head. “It’s not a laugh unless there’s sound.”

“Not true, what about when you laugh so hard and your breath is gone so nothing comes out anymore? And do you know the first thing that butthead did was to ask me for the damn ring back. I’m glad to be rid of it.” She stared down at the white band of skin around her finger. “It never suited me.”

“I agree.”

“So you don’t think I’m the type of girl who should wear diamonds?”

“See. I knew I’d say the wrong thing. Should have stuck to my earlier plan.”

“No, no you’re right.” She grew quiet.

“Trinket, I didn’t even have to meet the guy or know about him asking for his ring back to know he didn’t deserve you. That’s because I can’t imagine any guy out there good enough to deserve you.”

Kenna shifted slightly sideways in her seat. “Caden Stratton, you are still a first class sweet-talker. No wonder every girl in town had your name doodled on the margin of their spiral notebook.”

“That’s not sweet talk, Trinket. That’s straight talk.”

She waved off my comment. Kenna never took well to compliments. It was one of the many things that made her stand out from other people.

I raised a brow at her. “
Every
girl?”

“Well, not all of them. But a good portion. Trust me, I had lots of pretend friends, girls who hung out with me just because they thought it would give them a chance to meet you . . . or Grady. The score leaned heavily on your side, but he had his share of admirers too. I don’t know why he never ended up with a steady girlfriend in high school.”

Another stretch of silence followed. We listened to the music and watched as the city scenery faded and the long stretch of Pacific Ocean rolled into view.

“Cade, do you think he was happy?” She looked over at me. “Do you think Grady was happy? We talked once a month, and sometimes he sounded sad, like he was lonely or wanting to be doing something different with his life. Or maybe I was just projecting my own misgivings onto him. Not that it makes much difference now.” Her voice broke. “But I hope he was happy.”

“I know he was feeling kind of alone in Wisconsin. He was dating a woman for awhile—”

“Heather, the kindergarten teacher. He told me about her, but he broke it off after a few months. He never told me why.”

“I think Grady and I both set the bar pretty high when it came to finding the one.”

She smiled. “That’s sweet. Because of your moms?”

A laugh shot from my mouth. “Have you met my mom? I mean, I love the woman, but holy hell, I couldn’t live the rest of my life with someone like her. And Sally—” I stopped, not needing to say one negative thing about the woman who’d just lost her only son. I looked over at Kenna. She had absolutely no idea. “Let’s just say Grady and I had very similar taste in women. Now, I say we stop for some sandwiches. We can take them down to the beach, and I’ll give you that surf lesson I promised.”