Hard Tail (27 page)

“Do you want me to take over?” I asked, kissing along his stubble-rough jawline and down to his neck.

“God, yeah,” he whispered right into my ear.

I slid my hand down and, on a whim, slathered it liberally with the mess I’d just made before wrapping my fingers firmly around Matt’s cock. “Oh, yeah,” he murmured, his eyes dropping shut again as I pumped him up and down. “That’s…yeah. God, don’t stop.”

“Not planning to,” I promised, speeding up a little. The look on his face was incredible, and my heart melted, full of love and fierce possessiveness. Matt groaned incoherently, and when I slithered down in the bed a bit so I could suck on his nipple, he bucked once, twice—then came, hot liquid spurting up onto my shoulder.

He grabbed hold of me and pulled me up to kiss me, apparently not bothered by my no doubt appalling morning breath—after all, I’d never got around to cleaning my teeth after sucking him off. Ye gods, my breath must have hummed. By a weird process of association my thoughts strayed to Wolverine and from there to Adam. “Do you think he’s still here?” I wondered.

“Who?” Matt asked sleepily. “Oh—Adam? What time is it?”

I struggled round reluctantly to look at the clock. “God—eleven o’clock. We’d better get up.”

“Thought you weren’t opening the shop today?”

“No, but we probably ought to put a notice up.
Closed due to family emergency
or something.” And there was the other thing, but I couldn’t face breaking the mood just yet.

“I can do that, if you like,” Matt offered. “It won’t take a mo to cycle round.”

“Okay—but have some breakfast first,” I insisted.

After all, it was in my vested interest to keep his strength up.

We pulled on some clothes and plodded downstairs to find Adam still dozing on the sofa, although Wolverine had abandoned him to glare pointedly at his empty bowl. I gave Adam a gentle shake as Matt did the important stuff, i.e. feeding the cat.

“Whassup?” Adam muttered drowsily.

“Adam? It’s eleven o’clock. I thought I’d better wake you,” I said.

He blinked at me, his eyes gradually focussing. “Tim! You ’n’ Matt all right?”

“Yeah,” I said, with probably the world’s soppiest smile on my face. “We’re all right.”

Adam grinned. “I better bugger off, then.” He swung his legs off the sofa and stood up, stretching his unfeasibly long arms out wide. “Look after ’im,” he said and loped off, pausing only to direct a cheery wave at Matt in the kitchen on his way out.

“Thanks, Adam,” I said. “Thanks for everything.”

It was late enough that when Matt cooked up some eggs, even I was keen to demolish a plateful and mop up the last of the yolk with some bread and butter. While I washed up, he nipped off to the shop to hang up the sign. My phone rang while he was out, but on seeing it was Mum, I switched it off guiltily. I really couldn’t face talking to her with all this hanging over my head. As predicted, Matt was back within half an hour, his face shining and his hair tousled from the ride.

All I wanted to do was hold him, but it was time to broach a possibly uncomfortable subject.

“Matt, I’m afraid, ah, Kate’s coming round later. You know, my, er, wife.” I winced as I said the
W
-word. “She’s coming to help me out with the legal stuff.” I’d rung her last night from the police station—just to ask about lawyers down here—but once she’d heard the story, she’d insisted on coming down herself, probably to check I hadn’t gone completely round the bend.

I wondered what conclusion she was going to come to about that once she’d heard the full story.

Matt looked wary. “Oh, okay. You want me to disappear for a bit, then?”

“No—no, of course not. I’d, um, like you to meet her.” I mentally crossed my fingers behind my back at that last bit. While there was no way on earth I was hiding Matt away like some shameful little secret, it had to be said I wasn’t actually looking forward to the great revelation. “I mean, I haven’t told her about, well, us, but I’m going to.”

“Are you sure? I mean…” Matt stared at his feet. “I’d understand if you wanted to keep a low profile for a bit. I mean, it’s not like that many people ever knew about you and Adam.”

“Matt,” I said, sliding my arms around his waist and feeling a ridiculous thrill, even now, at being able to do so. “I’m not hiding how I feel about you. And, well, I think I owe it to Kate to be honest with her. Finally.”

He smiled, putting his arms around my neck. “You know what? I think you do love her. No—not like that,” he said in answer to my barely articulated protest. “Like a sister or something. It’s nice.”

God, I loved him, I realised with a rush that felt like I’d just drunk a whole bottle of champagne. Through a straw. “Maybe you’re right. But…” I hesitated. It was too soon to say it, I knew. The last thing I wanted was to scare Matt off. “I’d rather be with you,” I said instead, pulling him closer.

We kissed, slow and gentle.

“Look, Matt,” I said when we paused for air, our foreheads resting together. “Just so you know, I’m not going back to London. We’re selling the house, and I’m going to look for a job down here. Something with reasonable hours and no long commute, so I’ll have time for other things. Like mountain biking and being with people I love.” I cleared my throat and carried on. “I’m sure Jay will let me sleep on his sofa if need be, when he finally gets back home.”

“Yeah—course he will.” Matt paused. “And, well, I’ll be needing to look for a place. Maybe…maybe we could think about getting somewhere together. I mean,” he added quickly, “as, well, flatmates, or something. You know.”

“Of course,” I said, feeling so full of happiness I was probably about to rupture something. “Because it’d be way too soon, obviously, to really move in together. But flatmates… That’d be good.”

The doorbell rang, and the sudden lurch of fear in my belly came as a stark reminder I might not have to worry about accommodation for the next three to five years, or whatever they gave you for GBH these days. “That’ll be Kate,” I said, disentangling myself from Matt with reluctance.

He nodded. “I’ll be upstairs, then. If you need me.”

Kate stood on the doorstep, looking cool and elegant in a short-sleeved navy wrap dress I didn’t think I’d seen before. “Oh, Tim!” she said, her lip wobbling.

I gathered her up in a huge hug—at least it seemed huge compared to the size of Kate; I’d forgotten just how tiny she was. “Thanks for coming,” I said, standing back with a smile splitting my face. I was incredibly glad to see her. Had she put on a little bit of weight? If she had, it suited her. Made her look…more relaxed. Happier with herself. She probably wouldn’t thank me for mentioning it, though.

“Well, of course I came! Look, I know things didn’t work out with us, but I meant it when I said I hoped we’d always be friends.”

“Of course we will,” I said, meaning it. “It really is good to see you—and not just because of this mess I’m in. Come on in, don’t stand on the doorstep.”

She nodded, turning brisk and businesslike as she stepped over the threshold. “Right, well—first things first. You said you were waiting to hear whether the other party would corroborate your story?”

“Yes. Look, come on into the living room and sit down. I’ll put the kettle on—you’ve come a long way. Coffee?”

“Mm, please,” she said, ignoring the living room in favour of following me into the kitchen.

“Black, no sugar?”

“Of course. It’s only been a few weeks.”

“Ah, but I thought Alex might have been a bad influence on you.” Alex liked his coffee with cream and two sugars, and why was I sparing a thought for the man who’d stolen my wife?

Probably so I could remember to send him a thank you note, I thought cheerfully. Although perhaps that might not be well received. “How is old Alex, anyway?”

“He’s…fine.”

She sounded so uncertain I looked up from the coffee mugs. “Kate? Is something wrong?”

“No! No, we’re fine, it’s just, well, you. Don’t take this the wrong way, please—but you just seem so awfully chirpy.”

I put down the teaspoon. “Ah. Well.” I cleared my throat. “Actually, I’ve got something to tell you. But it might be better if we sit down first.”

“Whenever anybody says something like that, I start to worry even more,” she said darkly as I handed her a mug of coffee.

“It’s nothing to worry about, honestly.” After I’d said it, I realised she might have a different point of view. “At least, I don’t think it is.”

“Tim, will you please just
tell
me?”

I glanced regretfully at my steaming coffee, swirling enticingly and tantalising me with its aroma, and put down my mug. Then I took a deep breath. “There’s a part of me I’ve been hiding. All this time.” I swallowed. Suddenly this didn’t seem so easy. “I’ll always think fondly of what we had. But I think you know, deep down, we were never really in love. Look, I realise this may be hard for you to accept—God knows, it was hard enough for me—but I’m, well, I’m gay.”

The world seemed to stand still for a moment. Kate stared at me, her mouth half-open, and my heart pounded uncomfortably as I waited for her to speak.

“Oh, thank God!”

Okay, that wasn’t
exactly
what I’d been expecting. “You’re…pleased?”

“Of course—don’t you realise, I thought all this time it was me? I thought—God, I thought I’d failed to be a good enough wife; I left you because it wasn’t working and then I
still
made you mess up your life.” She gave me the soppiest smile I’d seen in years. “It all makes so much sense, now. I didn’t…I didn’t make you unhappy; you just
couldn’t
have been happy with me.”

Guilt stabbed at me as I grabbed both her hands. “I didn’t…I had no idea you felt like that. God, I’m so sorry. It was
never
your fault. It was mine, all along.”

“Rubbish! You can’t help being gay.”

“No, but I didn’t have to bury my head in the sand and hope it’d go away. I should have been more honest—with you, with myself. But I just kept thinking—God, I was stupid.” I shook my head. “I thought if I didn’t
let
myself be gay, I wouldn’t be.”

“Oh, Tim.” She let go of my hands—and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight.

I hissed, Wolverine-style, at the sudden pain in my bruised ribs.

Kate sprang back as if I’d electrified her. “I’m so sorry! God, how thoughtless of me. Does it hurt very much?”

“It’s all right—I’ll live.”

“Can I…see?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Any excuse to get my kit off, eh?”

Kate looked affronted. “As your legal advisor, I mean. I ought to know how badly you were injured.”

We shared a wry smile as I untucked my shirt from my jeans and lifted it up. Kate gave a sharp little intake of breath when she saw the bruising which, admittedly, had developed nicely since last night, from what little I could see without a mirror.

“Oh, Tim! Are there more like that?”

“No, no. That’s the worst. There’s some bruising to my forearms, obviously, where I was blocking his kicks.”

I’ve never known anyone as able as Kate to give the impression of tapping her foot without actually doing anything so rude as tapping her foot. Sighing, I pulled my shirt off altogether and held out my forearms for inspection.

I wasn’t quite prepared for her to pull out her phone and start snapping pictures. “For the private album?” I asked drily.

Kate tutted. “For evidence, obviously. Now, tell me—have you found someone? A man, I mean?”

I could feel my mouth stretching into a soppy smile. “Yes. Yes, I have. His name’s Matt, and he works at Jay’s shop, and he’s a really great guy. Actually, he’s here now—he wanted to give me time to explain things to you. I’d really like you to meet him—shall I give him a shout?”

Kate put away her phone and smiled a little tearily. “You should see your face right now… Yes—I’d love to meet him.”

“Matt!” I yelled up the stairs. “It’s safe to come down.” I couldn’t seem to shift the gormless grin.

“Oh, Tim—I’m so happy for you.” Kate sniffed, hugging me a lot more gently this time.

When Matt came warily downstairs, he gave my shirtless, embraced-by-my-not-quite-ex-wife state a pointed look. “Um,” he said. “Should I come back later? Or, you know, not at all?”

He let out a startled yelp as a tearstained Kate grabbed him and yanked him into the hug. “I’m so glad he’s found you.” She sniffled onto his shoulder.

I patted her back. “There, there.”

Matt’s gaze met mine over the top of her head, and we stayed like that, just looking into each other’s eyes, for a long moment.

Then Kate stepped back briskly from the embrace and blew her nose, I put my shirt on and we finally got to sit down and drink our coffee, by now rather lukewarm.

Kate had me run through the events of last night, stopping me to ask questions as I went. I was relieved she didn’t see fit to make any comments on my behaviour in front of Matt. Finally, she nodded and stood up. “It’s probably best if we go down to the police station and see if Mr. Pritchard has made a statement yet. The way things are at the moment, it’s going to very much depend on whether he makes a counter-claim to the effect that you were the aggressor. But hopefully, the most you’ll be charged with is battery.”