Hard To Handle (Teach Me Book 2) (30 page)

He gave his friend a slap on the back. “I’m beyond ready.”

Those words actually rung true in more ways than one. He was beyond ready to move on.

* * *

Zach couldn’t believe that Lawson had signed them up to sing Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen”. He knew they were getting more laughs than anything, especially with Lawson’s on-stage antics. His friend’s excitement and upbeat attitude was infectious and he was grateful for it.

Mac had followed in having Zach join him to sing Drake’s “Hotline Bling” and it was laughable since neither of them were actually familiar with the song. Toward the end, both of them were having a difficult time composing themselves and restraining their own laughter enough to finish.

Shortly after they returned to the table for a breather, Mac went back up on stage to sing with Raine. They chose to sing Meghan Trainor and John Legend’s “Like I’m Gonna Lose You”. If it were at any other time, Zach would find it gagworthy that the two of them were singing this song together, as anyone could see how much they loved one another. Now, though, it was like pouring salt on an open wound. Especially since he was having trouble avoiding looking across the table to where Laney was sitting.

This,
this
was what he was trying to get away from. The pull that made him seek her out whenever he knew she was nearby. Made him want to look in her eyes, to see if maybe she felt the same hurt he did by what had happened.

Shaking it off, Zach concentrated on watching his friends sing, not really performing it for an audience but singing it to one another, their gazes locked, emotion pouring from them. He was startled by an arm slinging over his shoulders. Turning, he saw Lawson lean in, his expression intent. “They’re singing our song, love.” He began to sway, forcing Zach to follow suit as he shook his head with a low chuckle. He knew Lawson probably figured out he was needing a distraction right now. And, just like that, without words, he had helped.

Even though his friends were crazy—hell, sometimes they seriously drove him crazy—he was going to miss the everloving shit out of them once he moved.

Damn you, Laney Kavanaugh
, he thought, with a mixture of anger, misery, and annoyance.
Damn you for screwing with my heart
.

C
HAPTER
F
ORTY
-S
EVEN

W
AKING FROM THE FITFUL SLEEP
she’d had after coming home from their karaoke festivities the night before, Laney stretched out with a groan as she looked at the time on her clock. It was nearly six thirty on Sunday morning.

Her friends had made it a point to get her onstage and sing silly songs with them. Raine had dragged her up to sing Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA”, much to her own dismay. But Raine’s excitement was always infectious and, within a few notes, she and her best friend were throwing themselves into their performance. Tate joined them for “Wannabe” by The Spice Girls, which they had a difficult time getting through without giggles. The guys acted like groupies, dancing on the dance floor beneath them. Lawson had been attempting booty shakes intermittently, causing the others to shake their heads while either backing away from him or slapping him on the ass with a laugh. Lawson had twirled Zach once or twice on the dance floor and she was happy that his friends had managed to get him to have that lightheartedness back, even if it were only temporary. She knew it was because of her that he wasn’t truly his normal, happy-go-lucky self.

Dragging herself out of bed, she stood and stretched her arms above her head, letting out a little groan. Turning to head to the restroom, hoping that a shower might make her feel less mopey, something caught her eye.

The beautiful water globe Zach had given her for Christmas. Walking over to where it was displayed on her dresser, she eyed it warily. Part of her felt like maybe she should put it away where it wouldn’t be staring her in the face all the time. Another part of her, though, couldn’t bear not having a little reminder of Zach, of how he had obviously thought of her, paid attention to her.

Reaching out to carefully take the globe in her hand, she brought it close, looking at the gorgeous scene as she gently shook it, causing the blue waves to wash over the dolphin. Just as she was about to tip it once again, her gaze caught on something shiny on the very bottom. Turning it upside down, she saw a small silver plaque. The words engraved on it made her heart lurch in her chest, because this message had been there the entire time. And now it was too late.

The beauty of the sea for the beauty who has my heart.

Laney’s eyes fell closed as the pain washed over her—pain at what she hadn’t realized in time, pain at letting her past ruin her future, or what could have been her future. Suddenly, Tate’s words from last night came back to her.

“I don’t think things are finalized yet, Laney. Not judging from this.” She’d held up the globe with a meaningful look.

“It’s a water globe with dolphins, Tate. Not a declaration of love,” she had argued.

Tate had exchanged a look with Raine who had merely offered a helpless shrug. She hadn’t thought anything of it until now, hadn’t noticed the engraved message. Now, it made sense because, clearly her two friends had noticed the bottom of the globe, its message and the importance of it.

With shaking hands, she carefully set the globe back down and realized what she needed to do. Opening the second drawer of her dresser, she reached toward the back, beneath the clothing until her fingertips touched the folded, worn envelope. Pulling it out, she brought it with her as she sat cross-legged on her bed. Removing the paper from the envelope, she noted how worn and crinkled it was now. How many times had she pulled this paper out to remind her to keep her heart contained, to maintain the defenses, the walls around her heart?

Unfolding the paper, reading what she had written so many years ago, she felt something more akin to regret at how she had allowed herself to be swayed, convinced that loving someone was wrong, dangerous. Yes, maybe it was dangerous in that it would hurt if the other person didn’t return her love, but going through life not experiencing it fully posed even more of a danger.

Her lips pressed thin, as she read what she had written long ago. She was taken aback by how much things had changed—how much she had changed—since initially deciding to write the list.

Don’t ever get married because the husband will leave. Like Dad did.

Never fall in love. You’ll only get hurt in the end.

Right then, as she held that old, battered list in her hands, she made her decision. She wasn’t going to add another item to her list of regrets. She already had one remaining regret: losing—pushing away—the man she loved. She was going to let him know how she felt even though it was too late for them, too late for him to change his mind. Laney was going to tell him so she would never have the regret of not doing so.

Folding up the paper, she tore it into small sections and placed it in the trash bin beside her bed. It was time to start living her life and not letting the past rule it. Sliding off the bed, she decided that this occasion called for her to embrace the change, to start off this day the way it should be. She was going to join Mother Nature on this beautiful morning and bask in the opportunity to make changes in her life.

She was going surfing.

* * *

He hadn’t slept very well, had merely laid there in his bed for a while as he watched the start of the sunrise break through the blinds when it hit him. He only had one more Sunday here in this house before he moved out.

He hadn’t yet found a place he was completely sold on, so Mr. Ainsworth had offered up what he’d said was “a small, efficiency apartment-like space” over his garage. Considering the man and his wife lived in a home that was no smaller than four thousand square feet, Zach knew that the space above the garage was most likely nothing close to what the average person considered small.

He had been grateful, just the same, and had thanked the older man profusely, insisting on paying rent. When Mr. Ainsworth had mumbled a “we’ll see”, Zach knew he was going to have to force the man to take his money. But, knowing he wouldn’t be homeless was a huge weight off his shoulders at this point.

Zach rose from his bed, slid on his board shorts, and walked into the living room to slide into his flip flops, tossing a beach towel around his neck. He walked down the stairs of the beach house and unlocked the door to the small storage area where his surfboards were kept. He still hadn’t collected the one from Laney he’d loaned her back when he had been giving her surf lessons. At this point, he didn’t want it back because he knew he’d never want to use it, let alone have any desire to look at a reminder of her.

Walking across the street to the beach access, he trudged through the sand before he found the spot he preferred. He set down his towel and toed off his flip flops, tucking his keys inside one of the folds of the towel. Gazing out at the sunrise, he inhaled the scent of the salty ocean breeze, closing his eyes, letting the peacefulness wash over him. This was his safe haven of sorts. Being here on this deserted beach early on a Sunday morning, basking in the beauty of the scene before him, the reddish-orange hues in the sky contrasting with the blue water. Even the seagulls seemed to be half-asleep, their noise subdued.

Strapping the ‘leash’ to his ankle, he held his board at his side as he surveyed the waves, beginning to gain momentum. He waded into the water, set the board on the surface, and laid atop it, beginning to paddle out. As he made his way farther out, watching and waiting for the right wave, he finally felt a little bit of peace.

That was when he knew. He was going to be all right. He would eventually be happy again. Maybe not today or even tomorrow, but it was going to happen. He would eventually be able to put this behind him.

As he caught the wave and rode it to shore, he swore he saw another surfer off in the distance walking down the beach toward him. It would actually be kind of nice to have another person to surf with since he hadn’t had a surf buddy since … well, since Laney.

Zach stopped, ankle deep in the water, watching as the person suddenly turned around, flashing the flat side of the board, and began walking in the opposite direction. He’d almost dismissed it as he turned to head back out into the water, but something made him look again.

That was the moment he realized that he’d recognized that surfboard, recognized its colors. Because he had been the one who had chosen the unique colorful design for the board. Which meant he also knew who was currently walking down the beach, away from him, with that surfboard in tow.

Laney Kavanaugh.

C
HAPTER
F
ORTY
-E
IGHT

D
URING THE LAST WEEK OF
school, everyone had been bogged down with organizing students’ cumulative folders and portfolios, proofing grade reports so that report card grades for the entire year could be averaged and finalized. They all felt like they were in the weeds, trying to manage the students’ antsy excitement at the school year being over while maintaining routines and discipline.

Even amidst the heavy, overwhelming workload, Laney had noticed students bringing packing boxes into Zach’s classroom to help him pack up his materials. That was like a knife twisting even deeper in her chest, signifying that things were over, that he was determined to leave her behind, to leave her to become just a vacant memory.

It was the final day of school for students and an early dismissal day, as well. Teachers, of course, were required to stay in order to finish their appointed tasks. Laney waited for the students to be dismissed, for things to quiet down, before she prepared herself to enter Zach’s classroom. She prayed that he would be alone. Prayed that he would at least hear her out. Because at this point, she felt she had to do this. She had to make amends in some way, get resolution. Regardless of whether he decided to forgive her for hurting him or whether he ever found it possible to be her friend at some point in the future.

Taking a few deep, calming breaths, she grabbed her things and walked out of her room and across the hall. Peeking in the small window of his classroom door, she didn’t see anyone else inside except for Zach, who was currently putting together a moving box, applying some packaging tape to secure it before he would begin to fill it with items.

This is it. You can do this, Laney. You can do this
.

Opening the door abruptly before she lost her nerve, she entered the room, letting the door fall closed behind her. She leaned back against it for a split second as she braced herself for the worst, for him to yell at her, kick her out.

Instead, she watched as his surprised gaze flew to hers, instantly growing wary. Holding up her free hand, she spoke hurriedly. “I know I’m the ultimate last person you want to see, especially right now, but I have a few things to say. I promise I’ll make it as quick as possible so that you can get back to all that.” She gestured to the piles of flat, broken down boxes on the floor nearby where he stood.

Laney quickly slid in the caseless CD she’d brought with her into the CD player of the small stereo Zach kept on the back counter. Once it was set to the chosen song, she pressed the play button and lowered the volume slightly. She took a step closer to the center of the room, still more than a few yards away from where Zach was standing. When he visibly stiffened, it hurt her that her mere presence, her proximity made him uncomfortable and uneasy. Pulling the eighteen-by-eighteen inch posterboards from beneath her arm, she took a deep breath before displaying the first one for him to read, flipping to the next posterboard as soon as it appeared he had finished reading.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl and little boy who had a mom and a dad. Then, one day, the dad decided he didn’t want to have a family anymore. So he left. Even though the little girl begged and pleaded for him not to go.