Harder (4 page)

“Sorry.”

“For?”

“Staring.”

“Yeah, creepy,” I say. I park and take off my seatbelt. “K, so tell me your type.”

He lets out a long, slow breath, like he’s irritated.

“What, I say something wrong? I need to know who we are targeting here.”

He gives me his angular profile and taps his fingers on the window. “Short hair. Tall. Tough.”

“Ha ha, that’s a dude, not a chick.”

He looks at me, and sighs, and I don’t get what he’s trying to say. Then he frowns and turns back to the window.

“Okay, fine, you like ‘em a little butch,” I say, extending an olive branch.

“Sure.” But he doesn’t sound like he means it.

He wants butch? I’ll give him butch. But first he’s gonna need some help. “You want butch, you’re gonna need to be more butch.”

“Butch? Is that what you like? Isn’t that a LGBT reference?”

“Sure, but it also just refers to a masculine aesthetic.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“I’ve been called it a lot. I looked it up. We could use badass instead though.”

“So hyper masculine, badass, whatever. That’s what you like?”

“Uh, well, we aren’t talking about me, are we? Anyway, you’re gonna need new clothes. I don’t think this whole preppy thing is going to work on those chicks.” I wave my hand at his outfit.

He shrugs. “Whatever.”

“You aren’t being very helpful, you know.” I get out, and he does the same, and before I can come over to take the door, he closes it himself, gently, just how I like it.

So some men can be gentle.

Not like the one who broke my door, who shall remain nameless. I shake the thought off and head to the mall, prickles rising over my shoulders, making me feel cold even in the bright sunlight.

I should never have let myself be anything but strong.

Ryan follows me, trying to get to the doors first, but I always end up getting them. He needs to stop treating me like a chick.

“So where do we get badass clothes?” He says it like he has something gross in his mouth.

“Badass stores.” I take him down to the end of the mall, where the crappy stores are, nearly hidden by the escalator. I walk into Skulls, my favorite store, and the owner greets me with a wave.

“Ally.”

“George.”

I walk to the accessories section. I look back to see Ryan in the women’s section, scowling at a fishnet skirt, and turning it over in his hands like he doesn’t know what it’s for.

“Ryan, heel!”

His head snaps up, and he narrows his eyes on me.

“I’m just joking. Come over here, get out of the chick’s section.”

He sighs and walks over. “I’m not a dog.”

“Oh come on, don’t pout.”

“Don’t tell me to heel.”

So he’s actually pushing back on me. I don’t like it. “Look, you want my help? ‘Cuz you asked. You want someone more politically correct, you could ask any chick in school.”

He shakes his head. “I want you,” he says softly.

Something in me responds to it, but I shove the feeling away with both hands.

“Okay, then do what I say.”

He sighs, then laughs, a low sexy sound that thrums through me, and then he comes over to hover behind me while I sort through racks. “Okay, what next?”

“You’ll need this.” I give him a large leather cuff with a watch in the center. “This.” A belt with rivets. “This.” A wallet with a large chain. “These.” Jeans with built in rips. “And this.” A tee with frayed sleeves and a large, jagged logo on the front that screams badass.

He sighs.

“You gotta cut that out. Sighing is the opposite of badass, you get me? The
opposite
of badass.”

“What’s badass then?”

“Grunting. Swearing.”

“I don’t swear.”

“Well, fine. You want to hook up with some church girls? Go ahead. You want someone hard, you need to be hard.”

He clears his throat, and then grunts.

I laugh, ignoring the fact that it’s kind of sexy with his deep voice. I shove him into a dressing room. “I’ll wait out here.”

I sit on a table and wait. I’d like to look around, but I need to wait till next paycheck. Rent in Cali is hella high.

“I don’t want to.”

“What?” I yell back. “Don’t want to what?”

“Come out.”

“Why? Come on Ryan. You’re already half way to badass with that hair. It’ll look perfect on you. All the girls will come running.”

“Girls like you?”

I swallow. “Sure, girls like me. Badasses.”

“Fine.”

I hear a sigh that he turns to a grunt at the end, and then he comes out. I set down the magazine I was reading and look up.

He could model for a motorcycle magazine. Instant lady-boners everywhere.

He looks down at the floor and shoves his hands in his pockets, which is hard because the jeans are tight on his lean hips and muscled thighs. A few rips above the knee make me want to take a peek underneath.

The belt is perfection, the tee hangs over the front, and I stand up to fix it. I tuck the front in slightly behind the belt, and it tightens the shirt in the front and draws attention to his chest and abs. Dude is ripped.

“You roiding or something?”

“I like working out. Love working out.”

“Good with your hands?”

He nods. I tuck the shirt a little further into the front of his pants and his breath catches. I realize I’m a bit close, and the air around us heats up.

I step back, hands up.

I like the look of the cuff, it emphasizes his hot forearms. He’s that rare combo of tall and built. Just one more thing. The shoes can wait. I reach up and grab his ponytail holder out of his hair. It looks too tidy.

“Sit.” I point to a chair and he does. I pull his hair back and leave a few pieces out to the front, kind of messy, and tie the rest in a low pony that looks masculine. Now he looks perfect.

We’ll just need to go somewhere where we can find the right type of chick.

Chapter 4

We turn onto Pike Drive just as the sun is setting. The mall took longer than I thought.

Seems like with being senior guards we never get out of work much before the evening, but it’s fine because I’m a night owl anyway. This is when I come alive.

Ryan stares the house we’ve just pulled up in front of, and fidgets. “Pike? Is this area safe at night?”

I get out and look over to see if any of the crowd is here. A couple motorcycles are parked next to a few cars that are as old as mine but more beat up. I can hear voices coming from the backyard.

“Safe? Why do you even have to worry about that?” I look over his six foot four frame, now clothed in irresistible, edgy clothing, and swallow back drool.

He sets his head back against the seat rest and exhales slowly. “Not for me. I meant… Never mind. I’ll watch out for you.”

My chest tightens uncomfortably. “Excuse me? Watch out for
me
? This is my crew. Watch out for yourself.” I slam my door a bit too hard and wait for him to join me. He closes his door carefully and strides over, chain jangling.

His ponytail swings when he walks. I’ve seen this guy in guard clothing so many times before, but it’s so different seeing him like this.

He’s everything I wish I could be. Tall. Tight. Powerful. A man. That’s the only reason I’m so intrigued by him. I want to be him. It can’t be anything else.

I ring the doorbell and put my hands in my pockets.

The door opens and Keri comes out from behind it. Her eyes are rimmed with dark kohl and her hair is green and purple. She looks me over and smiles. “Lookin’ good Ally. Haven’t seen you around lately.”

I nod. “Busy with work.”

“Still into guys?”

“More or less.”

“Too bad. You’ll be the hottest dude here.”

I shrug. “This is my friend Ryan.”

She opens the door wider to eye him. She folds her arms and takes a long, hard look, chewing on her lip ring. “Scratch that. He is.” She loops an arm through his and pulls him in, in front of me. “The straight girls will love him. And the gay dudes.”

I laugh and follow them in. The house is dim and smells of weed but it doesn’t matter because we’re going outside anyway.

“So how do you know Ally?” Keri asks Ryan as she opens the sliding back door.

“Work.”

“She just kind of came out of nowhere for us. Showed up at Pope park with that car and all that butchness. Surprised she was straight. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he says.

I grin and follow them out back.

The porch lights are on, since the sun is now setting. There are the usual group of scattered white plastic chairs and kids on the lawn. Some smoking, some with cups in their hand.

It’s an accepting group. Gay, straight, bi, trans, Black, White, Asian, etc.

Rob holds up a cup and points to us as we join them. Rob is tall, black, and more pierced than a porcupine.

“So Ally finally brought a dude around,” he says in a deep voice. His cup sloshes and spills a little as he sits back with a laugh. “‘Bout time. He’s cute.”

Ryan blushes and looks over his shoulder at me, slightly alarmed. I just grin back.

I grab a chair next to my friend Meghan and put my legs over one of the arms so I can lean back. She offers me her cup, but I wave it away.

She has short red hair and a cute, chubby face. She’s into chicks. I keep meaning to introduce her to Amy.

“Who’s this?” she asks, pointing to Ryan, who is taking a chair next to me, looking miserable.

“This is my coworker, Ryan,” I say, pointing at him.

“Where you from, Ryan?” Steven asks. Steven has platinum bleached hair and is tall and lanky. Maybe as tall as Ryan. He has hawk-like features and a beaked nose.

“Here,” Ryan says.

“Haven’t seen you around.”

“He’s not our crowd. Usually,” I say, smiling at Ryan. “Is Jen gonna be here?”

“Jen, why?” Steven asks.

“Ryan’s looking for a butch chick.”

Keri laughs and scoots her chair closer to mine. She leans over my legs and I let her. She smiles up at me and then at Ryan. “You mean like Ally? No one’s as butch as her.”

I gulp. Wrong direction. “More like Jen.” I cough. “Super butch.”

“Really? Jen?” Kyle asks, pointing to Jen, who is just now coming out of the back door in all her androgynous glory. Dyed black hair spiked up into a fauxhaux. Six feet of pure muscle in a leather jacket and jeans. “That’s your type?”

Ryan coughs on his drink and sputters for a moment. I laugh and hit him on the back and pull him down into the chair next to me.

“I’ll introduce you.”

“Ally, I think you’re misunderstanding something…” Ryan whispers, not taking his eyes off Jen.

“Jen, over here!” I yell.

“Ally.” Jen’s voice is deep and she comes over and takes my hand in a firm shake. “S’up girl.”

“I’d like you to meet my friend, Ryan.”

She turns to him, blue eyes sparkling. She has a pretty face, even if it’s a little square. Her hair doesn’t help. But she’s all girl inside.

“Nice to meet you, Ryan,” she says shyly.

I grin and wait. Maybe this is more butch than he wanted, but he can’t say I didn’t deliver. I think I’ll let them get to know each other.

“Here, you can have my chair so you can talk. I’m going to go get another drink.”

I go into the house for something non-alcoholic. I’m driving tonight. There’s some milk in the fridge and I drink it straight out of the carton. I trust these peeps.

“Ally, didn’t think I’d see you here.”

I stand slowly, wiping my mouth and replacing the milk in the fridge. “Garrett.”

Garrett glares down at me. He’s maybe six feet, with a shaved head and full sleeve tats. Dragons. Cheesy as hell. I made a mistake with him a year ago when I moved here. We made out in the back of his truck. Maybe he just reminded me of my ex. Even as I did it I knew it was never going to happen again.

“Where you been Ally?”

“Around. We just haven’t been at the same parties.”

“Yeah. I noticed. You’re avoiding me.”

He’s in that group of guys that can make me feel small. Ryan sometimes can too, when he gets that look in his eyes that says I’m being stupid. But Garrett does it based on sheer size, and suddenly I don’t want to be around him.

I look out the back window and see Ryan trying to gently fend off Jen. Hilarious.

“Something funny?” Garrett comes to the window, putting his arm around my shoulders. I try to shrug him off but he’s like a rock.

“Nah, just brought my friend and it doesn’t look like he wants to hook up with Jen.”

“Who does?” Garrett laughs.

I growl and push away from him. “Jen’s amazing. He’d be lucky to date her.” No one talks that way about my friends. I grab the door. “I’m going back out there. The company’s better.”

He grabs my arm and tries to spin me around, but I pull my wrist out between his thumb and fingers where it’s weak.

“Don’t touch me Garrett, if you know what’s good for you.”

“Aw come on, Ally. We had a good thing. We should have a repeat.”

“Not on your life.” I kick open the door and jog outside. I take a chair across from Ryan and Jen where I can watch.

We’ll see if he wants a butch girl after all.

Ryan

Maybe I should just give up on people. Maybe communicating with them is overrated.

Jen’s arm is around my shoulder for the fifth time and I’m done trying to remove it. It’s not clear who the man here is and I’m not interested in finding out.

She’s pretty in her own way. She’s tall and capable and fun to talk to, but I don’t just like butch chicks. I just like Ally.

She’s sitting next to a huge tattooed guy and watching me with Jen.

If I had to guess from his body language, and I’m good at guessing from body language, I’d say he just got rejected, and not for the first time.

The thought makes my hands tighten on the arms of my chair. I’m not used to being jealous.

“Something wrong, hon?” Jen asks, leaning in close.

I grit my teeth at being called hon. “No. Who’s that with Ally?”

She shrugs. “Garrett. They had something at one point. Not sure what though. She doesn’t talk about it.”