Harlequin KISS August 2014 Bundle (73 page)

‘You’re old enough to fend for yourself.’

‘I don’t get it, Zeb. What does that mean?’

Zeb raised his champagne glass. ‘Son, I’ll be honest with you. Having a kid around is kind of cramping my style. I’ve done my duty by you and now it’s time to cut you loose.’ A
hearty slap on the back. ‘But no worries. We’ll keep in touch.’

Then, ‘Ciao!’ and he’d upped and gone.

‘But... That’s awful,’ Olivia whispered after Adam had given her a shortened version of their exchange.

‘Zeb never wanted to be a father. But he did step up to bat when there was no other choice. I guess to him it seemed the right thing to do. He put in an eight-year sentence and
figured he’d paid his debt to parenthood.’

‘That sucks. It really sucks, Adam.’ She shook her head. ‘You should have told me.’

‘Not fair. Zeb’s relationship with me shouldn’t have prejudiced you. Maybe if I’d been a different type of son things would have been different. It could have been he’d changed his opinion on parenthood over the past fourteen years.’

Foolish thoughts, really;
Mastersons didn’t change their spots.

Olivia stared down at the table and then whipped her head up, nostrils flaring. ‘Then the baby is better off without him.’ She swept a sideways glance at him. ‘And so are you. Kudos to you. Zeb cut you loose and you forged a great life for yourself.’

Typical Olivia. Even in her own hurt she could find time to try and make him feel better. The least
he could do was reciprocate in kind, with the truth. ‘So will this baby. He or she will have you and that will make all the difference.’

She shook her head. ‘No. It’s Jodie who’ll do that. I’ll just do my best to help. Now I know the score, I need to get home and tell her.’

‘You can fly back in the jet. Tell me when you want to go. I’ll let the pilot know.’

‘What about you?’ Olivia
asked.

‘I’m going to stay in Thailand. Move around. Research some hotel options—maybe design a more “homey” type of hotel. With alphabetical spices.’ The smile he could always summon at will just this once refused to comply. ‘But I can ferry you across to the mainland today, if you’re in a hurry to get back.’

* * *

Olivia’s heart plummeted; it seemed more than clear that Adam was
dead set on getting rid of her,
pronto
.

Perhaps she should go. After all, didn’t Adam keep saying that he was a chip off the old block? And she’d just seen the old block in action.
No.
Adam wasn’t like that. This she knew with a bone-deep certainty.

Pulling her shoulders back, she stood up to face him. ‘That’s really kind of you. But before you do that I’d like to talk. We haven’t had
a chance since last night, and...and so much has happened in the last twelve hours and...and... We need to talk.’

Colour angled over his cheekbones, though she wasn’t sure if it was a flush of embarrassment or sheer irritation at her presumptuousness. Maybe conveyor belt women didn’t require conversation.
Well, tough.

‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Why don’t we sit out on the beach for a while?’

‘Good idea.’ Somehow it seemed preferable to have this discussion in the open air, with only the sea and sand as witness.

She blinked as they exited the bar; the dazzling sparkle of light hazed the sand golden, the soft grains scrunching under her toes. Adam maintained a distance, his hands jammed in his chino pockets, his withdrawal from her complete.

Hard to reconcile this grim
man with
her
Adam, who had transported her to such heights of ecstasy.

They reached the edge of the sand and Olivia kept going into the waves, let the sun-warmed turquoise water wash over her toes. She stared out at the timeless horizon of blue, its brightness so intense, so still, it almost overwhelmed her. The blue of the cloudless sky was undisturbed by the swoop of even a solitary bird.

No courage to be found there; that would have to be dredged from somewhere within her, nurtured by the memory of what she and Adam had shared these past days. Their shared laughter and relaxed silences, their animated conversations about everything and nothing. The mind-blowing, incredible union of their bodies.

Turning, she moved towards him. He sat, long legs stretched out, palms down
in the sand to brace his weight.

She sank down next to him, the heat of the sand permeating the white denim of her jeans, and pulled her knees up, hugging them to her.

‘I—’ She broke off. Where to begin? Maybe best to cut to the chase. Roll the dice...show her hand. ‘I want to change the rules.’

His head snapped round with neck-cricking speed. ‘Excuse me?’

‘I’d like us to see
each other again. Not as fling partners but as...’

‘As what?’ His voice was hoarse; the words rasped from his throat.

Olivia dug her fingers into the sand. ‘As two people who want to spend time together and see what happens.’

A derisive snort indicated his opinion. ‘I can tell you what would happen.’

‘What? Suddenly you’re the Delphi Oracle? You can’t know what would happen.’

‘Yes, I can. Someone would get hurt. Olivia.’

Not
Liv
any more—and, wow, that did hurt.

‘It doesn’t have to be like that.’ Shifting in the sand, she wanted to reach out, but couldn’t. She was too sure that he would flinch, and that would suck away the last bit of her courage. ‘You’ve made me see that. A relationship doesn’t have to be a power game. It can be a partnership, a give
and take.’

His whole body stiffened, tension visibly rippling across his shoulderblades. ‘You’re mixing up a relationship with sex. We had crazy hot sex. That doesn’t make a relationship.’

‘We had more than that, Adam, and you know it.’

‘In which case all the better to end it here and now.’ Rooting in the sand, he pulled out a smooth, round stone and with a deft, angry flick of
his wrist sent it cresting across the waves.

Olivia watched the pebble hop, skip, and jump before sinking into the watery depths. Indicative of where this conversation was going.

‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Why won’t you give us a chance to become something more? At least tell me that. Did I read it wrong?’

He twisted his torso and made a guttural sound, reminiscent of pain. ‘You did nothing
wrong, Olivia. It’s me. I’m not relationship material. You just met Zeb—surely that gave you a clue?’

‘You are not like Zeb,’ If only she could get that through his thick, stubborn skull.

‘I’m a carbon bloody copy.’

‘That’s not true. It doesn’t even make sense. You’re you. You make your own choices.’

‘I do. And I choose to not hurt anyone else.’

He must be talking about
his ex-wife. ‘Did you hurt Charlotte?’

‘Yes.’ He uttered the syllable with a savage twist of self-derision. ‘I married her and then two years later I left her.’

‘Relationships break down. It happens.’

‘Our marriage didn’t break down, Olivia. I destroyed it. I promised Charlotte everything. A white picket fence, a family—the whole deal. When push came to shove I couldn’t make good.
It’s the only deal I ever reneged on in my life.’

His large body was still rigid with a tautness she longed to soothe. The knowledge that he would reject her touch caused her to bury her hands in the warmth of the sand.

‘What happened?’ she asked instead.

‘I blew it. Because every day the walls closed in a little more. I threw myself into work—anything to avoid returning to a place
that had become like a prison. Eventually I couldn’t take it any more. So in true Masterson style I upped and left. I vowed to give Charlotte the rest of my life and I managed less than eight hundred days before I cracked and walked out of the door. Just like Zeb walked out of Saru’s.’

His voice was so full of self-derision, so sure of his own guilt, it turned her thoughts topsy-turvy.

‘So that’s why we cannot take this any further. I hurt one woman in the pursuit of an impossible dream. I won’t hurt another. You deserve better. A man who wants a home and a family. A man you can trust.’

His last five words stopped her in her tracks. Adam was right. If they took things further they would spend the whole time waiting for the sword to fall. Damocles would have nothing on
them. Olivia loved her home; the thought of sitting in it, waiting and watching to see the walls close in on Adam, made her body shiver in revolt. All they could have was an interval until Adam left.

She had just witnessed what an utter coward Zeb was, and it was Zeb who had brought Adam up—Zeb whose genes he carried. Which explained why Adam still moved from place to place, had his moving
line of beautiful women. What an idiot she was; she’d let mind-blowing sex blind her to all common sense. Looked through the filter of an amazing orgasm or three and made herself believe that Adam Masterson was something he wasn’t.

Been willing to take a risk and trust him, let him in to her carefully constructed life. She couldn’t even blame
him
—after all, Adam had never lied to her; he
knew the kind of man he was and acknowledged it freely. He was a man who walked away. Like his father. Like her own father.

Idiot
didn’t begin to cover it. Because she’d broken all her own rules and now her poor exposed heart was shattering.

But, damn it, she’d chosen to jump on the conveyor belt and now she would climb off with her dignity and her self-respect intact. Hell, she’d even
take him up on the private jet offer.

She gulped in the salty air before rising to her feet. ‘You’re right. I do deserve all of that. So if you wouldn’t mind sorting out the jet I’ll go back and pack. I can get a boat to the mainland, then a taxi to the airport—or I’m sure Gan or Saru would drive me. Good luck, Adam. And thanks for last night—it was fun. But you’re right. Better to quit whilst
we’re ahead of the game.’

Turning, she walked away across the sand and didn’t look back.

Didn’t see Adam scramble to his feet and stretch out a hand.

Didn’t hear his whispered, ‘Liv...’ before he slammed his hands into his pockets and stared out to sea.

FOURTEEN

Olivia duct-taped
the cardboard box securely and hoisted herself up from her hunched crouch. Pressing one hand to the small of her back, she stretched and glanced around the packing-case-strewn floor of her mum’s apartment.

‘We’re getting there,’ she said, watching as Jodie carefully wrapped a delicate glass figurine in tissue paper.

Jodie smiled at her. ‘And
we’d get there a lot quicker if you stopped clucking over me and let me do more.’

‘You’ve done loads. And you’re six months pregnant, remember?’

‘Well, second trimester or not, I can make my lovely daughter a cup of tea.’

‘Thank you, Mum.’

Jodie glided across the thick-pile cream carpet, one hand circling her swollen belly with a reverent touch that filled Olivia with a strange
yearning. Admiration and love mingled in her chest. Her mother had been completely unfazed by Zeb’s attitude—had accepted his decision with a serene dignity. She hadn’t let it affect her enjoyment in her pregnancy. Diet, yoga—anything Jodie could do to ensure the health of the baby she was doing. In spades.

‘This way the baby will be healthy and so will I,’ she’d explained. ‘So I can look
after her properly.’ Reaching out, she’d laid a hand on Olivia’s forearm. ‘I know I made mistakes with you, Livvy. I want to make sure this time I get it right.’

‘Oh, Mum. You did great with me. I couldn’t have wished for a better mum.’

‘That’s sweet of you, darling, even if it’s the most enormous fib. I do know that I love you more than anything else in my life. But it’s time I stopped
relying on you. This baby is a second chance for me. I have to learn to stand on my own two feet.’ Jodie lifted an elegant hand to forestall Olivia’s protest. ‘It’s true. I’m forty-two years old and I have spent my whole life depending on other people. I owe you an apology.’

‘No. You don’t.’

‘Yes, I do. I am determined things are going to change. I’ve even got myself a job in the mother
and baby store in town, and I love it.’

And over the two months since Olivia’s return from the disastrous Masterson Mission she had come to see that Jodie meant every word.

Memories threatened. Adam’s sinful smile—the real one that she had believed was for her and her alone. His eyes—shades of brown, glinting with mischief or dark with desire. His touch. When would her body stop craving
it?

‘Livvy? Tea’s up.’

Olivia blinked the thoughts away and focused on the present, accepted the steaming mug with an attempt at a smile. She needed to banish Adam from her brain or at least wean herself off the man. Allow herself a hundred memories today and ninety-nine tomorrow.

Her mum’s blue eyes studied her way too thoughtfully.

‘How did last night go?’ Olivia blurted.
‘At antenatal class? I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it, but—’

‘Sweetheart, I told you—it’s fine. I get that you needed to see a client. It’s no biggie. The class went well. Really well, in fact.’

Jodie opened her mouth and then closed it again, turned away so that her highlighted bob swung forward to hide her expression.

‘Mum, are you sure everything is OK? You
do
know you don’t have
to move out of here?’

Jodie swung back round. ‘Olivia Louisa Evans. We are
not
having this conversation again. I am appalled with myself for not realising long ago how wrong it was that you have been paying the extortionate rent on this place.’ Her lips curved into a loving smile. ‘Plus, I adore my new place. It’s way more suitable for Bubs and me. There’s a park. Local shops. It’s a real
community. Anyway, you’re still contributing to the rent.’

‘Mum. I’ve explained. I’m not
contributing
. You’re earning the money. Consulting at Working Wardrobes counts as a job.’

It had turned out that whilst Olivia had been away her stand-in had gone AWOL. It had been Jodie who had stepped into the breach; Suzi, love her, had the clothes sense of a horse.

Her mother had done an
amazing job.

There came a lash of guilt. If Jodie had been wrong to accept Olivia’s help, Olivia had been wrong not to be honest with her mother. Had been wrong in so many of the assumptions she had made about Jodie. Turned out some people
did
change.

‘Where are you going?’ she asked as Jodie shrugged herself into her chic lime-green raincoat.

‘Milk,’ Jodie said. ‘I’ve run out of
milk. I’ll just pop out.’

‘I can go.’

‘No. It’s good exercise for me.’ Jodie tied the belt loosely around her waist. ‘See you later, Livvy.’

Five minutes after the door had clicked shut behind her mum the doorbell chimed. Sighing, Olivia switched the Hoover off. Many things had changed about Jodie, but housework still wasn’t her forte. There was enough dust gathered behind the sofa
to fill a skip. Olivia swiped a hand across her brow and grimaced as she glanced in the mirror. The postman was in for a bit of a shock.

She pulled the door open and shock impacted her, dropped her chin kneewards. ‘What are you—?’

And why now? If ever she had been stupid enough to hallucinate Adam turning up unannounced, the vision had
not
included Olivia dressed in an old apron, with
a scarf over her head, looking like a demented version of a fifties housewife.

Deep breath.

‘Adam. What are you doing here?’ She half closed the door and stepped forward, holding the handle behind her back.

‘I’m here to see you. Didn’t Jodie mention it?’

Just great.
Maybe her mum was retaliating against Olivia’s foolhardy jaunt across the world to find a man her mother had
already identified as a waste of space.

‘No. She didn’t mention it.’

‘Ah. Well, she knows I’m here. So can I come in?’

‘No.’ Just this glimpse of him was half killing her; no way was she letting him inside.

Dark blue jeans moulded to muscular thighs, and his reggae T-shirt stretched across the expanse of his chest and brought back a flood of memories she’d kept at bay for weeks.
His dark hair was longer than she remembered, and it glinted with raindrops from the intermittent spring showers that were plaguing Bath.

Adam sighed. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Olivia. So you have two choices. You can let me in. Or I can pick you up, sling you over my shoulder and carry you inside. Your choice. Three seconds.’

For an insane heartbeat Olivia was tempted to hold her ground;
a tremor weakened her legs at the thought of being thrown over Adam’s shoulder.

As if reading her mind, he raised an eyebrow and stepped forward.

She had to get a grip; if she let Adam touch her she would be lost. Stepping backwards, she sucked in a breath to avoid any such possibility. The downside of that strategy being that she got a lungful of his woodsy scent. Her head whirled as
desire jolted through her.

‘Let’s make this quick. I don’t care if Mum knows you’re here. I want you gone before she gets back.’

‘That’s no problem. Jodie won’t be back for a while.’

‘Huh? What have you done? Where is she?’

‘Liv, I’m not the mafia, and this isn’t a mob movie. Jodie said she’d spend the day with her friend Juliette and go to the cinema.’

He’d called her
Liv, and the fact spread warmth over her chest. A heat she had to fight.

‘Hang on a minute.’ Olivia slammed her hands onto her hips, tried to ignore the sudden predatory glint in his eyes as they rested on her body. ‘Exactly when did Mum tell you all of this?’

‘Yesterday. I called her and we met for a coffee. Or a herbal tea, in your mum’s case.’

‘You came to sort out the money?’
Why else would he have turned up?

‘Amongst other things,’ he agreed calmly. ‘Your mother strikes a hard bargain.’

‘She took the money?’ Confusion mixed with an obscure sense of disappointment.

‘Why shouldn’t she? The baby is my sister just as much as yours. I don’t see why she shouldn’t benefit. Jodie suggested I set up a trust fund for the baby, which is exactly what I’ve done.
The money will be hers when she reaches the age of twenty-one—or before, if Jodie, you and I all agree. So if she wants to go to university, or go travelling, or set up a business, or buy a home she’ll be able to.’

Adam smiled.
Her
smile—the one that warmed his eyes and curled her toes in the grubby trainers that currently adorned her feet.

‘You and your mum are very alike. It took me
a while to persuade her to accept anything from me.’

Olivia flexed her feet and attempted to pull her brain into gear. ‘This is all very generous of you, Adam, but it’s between you and Mum. Nothing to do with me. It doesn’t explain why you’re here. Unless you want my gratitude? If so, thanks very much, and the door is that way.’

Ungracious, she knew. But Adam must know that she couldn’t
be bought—though what he was trying to buy was anyone’s guess. Another night? Heaven help her, her body melted at the thought. So the sooner he left, the better.

He stepped forwards, closing the space between them, and she moved backwards, manoeuvred herself behind the sofa.

‘I’m not after your gratitude, Liv. I came here because I wanted to see you. I
needed
to see you.’

Her tummy
fluttered with an anticipatory fizz that common sense instantly doused. There were loads of reasons for Adam to need to see her. She tucked a stray tendril of hair behind her ear, her fingers skimming the synthetic material of the utterly horrendous scarf. Her fingers itched with the feminine need to tug the damn thing off and she dropped her hands to grip the back of the sofa. She didn’t care
how she looked.

‘If you need me to sign something to do with the trust fund leave the papers here. I’ll get them back to you once I’ve read them.’

‘That’s not what I need.’ Brown eyes looked at her with a hunger he made no effort to hide. ‘Why didn’t you tell your mum about us?’

Olivia narrowed her eyes. ‘How do you know I didn’t?’

‘Because after I took her to her antenatal
class last night we went for a drink, and until I explained the situation she seemed to think that I was just someone who’d helped you find Zeb.’

Olivia wasn’t sure which bit of the sentence to tackle first. ‘You went to her antenatal class?’

‘Yes.’

Adam took another step closer to the sofa so that he stood at the corner, and her heart started flipping like a blueberry pancake in
her chest.

‘Why?’

‘Because I want to be part of my sister’s life.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes,’ he said simply. ‘Just because Zeb isn’t choosing to feature it doesn’t mean I can’t. That’s why I went to Jodie first, before coming to find you. I want you both to know that regardless of what happens between you and me I will always be involved. Not out of duty but out of love.’

His words
swam around her mind, her brain circling and trying to come to terms with them. It focused finally on ‘regardless of what happens between you and me’.

‘You and me?’ Clenching her nails into the palms of her hand, she straightened her shoulders. ‘I don’t understand. There
is
no you and me. And, whatever happened between us in the past, I’d never stand in the way of you being in the baby’s
life.’

‘I want there to be a you and me.’

His words resurrected that tendril of hope—the very one she thought she’d uprooted and composted.
Careful, Olivia.
He’d cracked her barriers and her heart on a Thai beach two months ago.
Don’t let him hurt you more.

‘You were pretty damn clear two months ago that that wasn’t a possibility. Sure enough that you convinced me.’

He rubbed
a hand over his face and back up and through his hair—such a familiar gesture that her heart ached.

‘Two months ago I was an idiot.’

‘And now?’

‘Now I know that whilst I may still be an idiot I’m not my father. I don’t want to walk away from the baby. And I don’t want to walk away from you.’

Another step and he was behind the sofa with her. Her only method of escape was to
scramble over the back. The problem was flight was the very last thing on her mind.

Wait, Olivia. Don’t just fall into his arms.

Adhering her feet to the floor, she turned to face him. ‘But you will. You walked away from Charlotte.’

‘Yes, I did. But I’ve done a lot of thinking these past weeks.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘After Zeb and I parted ways years ago I was adrift.’

Against her will she felt her heart smite her as she imagined the incredible hurt of that rejection. So much worse than being rejected as an unknown baby.

‘I thought a home would ground me,’ he continued. ‘Then I met Charlotte. She was an army child; she’d never had real roots. She was desperate for a home, as well. We were so caught up in the idea of having a home we thought that was
what marriage was all about. We were in love with an idea, not each other.’ His forehead creased into a frown of confusion. ‘Does that make sense? Because it makes perfect sense to me now that I’ve met you and I’ve understood what love really is.’

‘What
is
love?’

‘It’s wanting be with the person you love all the time. It’s feeling able to share anything and not be judged. It’s loving
the sound of their voice and the smell of their hair.’ His huge body was rigid with tension as he closed the gap further. ‘I love you, Olivia. I know I messed up, but please believe this: I love you. And I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you and winning your love.’

Joy exploded in a firework of happiness, sending her giddy as she took the final steps so that she was standing
close enough to touch him.

‘You don’t have to win my love, Adam.’ She placed her hand on his heart. ‘You already have it.’

‘I do?’ His smile was blinding in its radiance as he spanned her waist and tugged her closer.

‘You do. I love you, Adam. I love how you make me feel beautiful and how you make me
want
to feel beautiful. For you. I love how I trust you to protect me and care
for me. I love how you make me smoothies. I love the way you give and I love the way you take. I just love you. With all my heart. And all my other vital organs, too.’