Harlequin Superromance January 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: A Ranch for His Family\Cowgirl in High Heels\A Man to Believe In (19 page)

“I'm thirsty,” Clara said suddenly.

“Would you like some more lemonade?” Robyn asked. She crossed the porch, picked up the half-empty pitcher and turned to fill Clara's glass. Clara smiled brightly at her, then frowned as Neal held open the screen door while Chance struggled in with a ten-pound sack of puppy food in his arms.

“Shame on you, young man.” Clara scowled at Neal. “Don't let your son lift such a heavy package.”

The glass pitcher slipped from Robyn's hand and shattered on the floor.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

M
ARTHA
AND
E
DWARD
rushed to help Robyn clean up the broken glass, ice cubes and lemon slices scattered across the porch floor. Robyn quickly realized her shock at hearing Clara's words had gone unnoticed. Everyone was used to Clara's strange pronouncements and paid them little attention.

Robyn glanced at Neal, but he was staring at Clara with a strange look on his face until Chance and the twins claimed his attention. They were ready for the piñata to be hung from a branch of the tree in the yard.

The party continued without any further incidents until Adam announced he had to leave to start his shift at the hospital. He gave Chance a high five and signed “happy birthday” to him. Robyn was touched that he had learned the gesture. He came over and stood close beside her. “Walk me to my car?”

“Sure.”

He took her hand and they strolled together around the side of the house. At the gate, he stopped and cupped her face between his hands. “I had a great time. Thanks for inviting me.”

“You're welcome.”

“You have a wonderful family.”

“Thank you.” She was puzzled by his hesitant tone.

“We haven't known each other very long, but I would love to get to know you and your family much better.”

“I'd like that, too.”

“Before we head down that path, I need to know if you're ready for a serious relationship, Robyn.”

Was she? She bit her lower lip. She'd only recently discovered she wasn't over Neal the way she'd thought she was. How could she risk hurting Adam until she was sure where her heart lay?

He smiled gently. “I can see that you need to give that question a little more thought.”

“You're a very perceptive man. I like that about you.”

“Please don't say you just want to be friends.”

She chuckled. “I'm willing to keep all my options open. Let me ask you a question.”

“Sure.”

“Are you up to the task of taking on a ready-made family?”

“That's a very good question, Nurse Morgan. I'm giving it very serious consideration.”

She gazed up into his bright blue eyes. “Then it seems we both have a lot to think about.”

“Any reason why we can't think about it over dinner next week?”

“None whatsoever.”

“Good.” He kissed her cheek and walked away. She stood at the gate and watched until he drove out of the yard.

“He seems like a nice fellow.”

She turned around and found Neal watching her from the kitchen door. “Yes, he's a very nice man.”

“You should go for it.”

She walked toward him, shaking her head. “He's not some prize to be won.”

“No, you're the prize. I hope he knows that.”

She checked to make sure they were alone and stepped close to him. “How would it make you feel if Adam wanted to raise Chance?”

“I'd try to be happy for all of you. He's a man with compassion, education and the ability to give you and Chance the better things in life. Yeah, I'm happy for you if you love him.”

She gazed at his face. “You mean that, don't you?”

“Oh, hell, no. Given half a chance, I'd knock him down, throw you over my shoulder and ride off into the sunset with Chance and Bell tagging along, and maybe your mother on a pack mule, because she's a really good cook.”

Giggling, she punched his shoulder. “Are you ever serious?”

“Not if I don't have to be. Come on—there's more party going on. Edward is setting out the horseshoes, and the kids want more lemonade.”

“I'll have to fix some.” She walked past him and into the house. “I've seen Edward pitch horseshoes. You can take him. He's got terrible aim.”

“Maybe, but he's got two good eyes. My depth perception is pretty much shot.”

She opened the fridge and pulled out a handful of lemons. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “I'll still put my money on you. You have a seriously wide competitive streak.”

“With you in my corner, I can't lose.” He walked through the house and out the back door.

As the evening drew to a close, Ellie and Martha tried to convince Edward and Clara to come with them to the church bazaar. “You'll have a great time,” Ellie assured him.

Martha rubbed her hands together. “You never know what kind of treasures you'll find. Sometimes you can get great antiques for a song.”

Clara looked up at Edward. “I'd like to go.”

Martha jumped on that. “See. Clara wants to go.”

Edward glanced from his wife to Robyn to the back porch still strewn with balloons and trash from the party. “We can't all go and leave Robyn to clean up alone.”

Robyn folded her arms across her middle. “I'm perfectly happy waiting until tomorrow to tackle this. You go on. I'm going to bed early. I'm beat.”

Connie looked at her tired children. “I'd better take my brood home. Thanks for a great party.” She waved goodbye, loaded her kids in her minivan and drove away.

Ellie turned to Neal, who was sitting beside Chance on the porch swing. “What about you, son? Do you want to come with us?”

He rose to his feet and patted Chance's head. “No, I need to go down to the corral and check on a couple of steers. I noticed earlier that they were acting sick. If they are, I'll separate them from the others and put them in the barn to keep a closer eye on them.”

A little later, Robyn and Chance waved goodbye to everyone from the front gate. Robyn saw the lights in the barn were blazing brightly. Obviously, one or both of the steers required Neal's attention. Biting her lip, she hoped it wasn't serious. They couldn't afford a big vet bill just now.

She put her exhausted son to bed after a quick bath. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. Bell curled up on the rug beside his bed and seemed content to stay there.

Robyn checked the barn from the kitchen window when she came downstairs, but the lights were off now. Had he gone? Disappointment hit her when she realized he hadn't come to say good-night. She wanted to tell him how wonderful his gift was, and how much she appreciated the thought he'd put into the gesture.

She turned away from the window and leaned against the sink. Neal would be leaving in a week. A month ago, she would have been thrilled by the idea, but now the knowledge produced an intense sadness. Chance was going to miss him. She was going to miss him. It had been so good to have her friend back.

Thankfully, her vacation would be over in a few more days. Going back to work would help. It would make it easier to forget about him.

She pressed her fingers to her temples. Oh, who was she fooling? She'd deluded herself into thinking she was going on with her life. The hard truth was her life had merely been on hold, waiting for Neal to come back. Would it be this way forever?

If she was honest, she would admit he was the reason she had come home after Colin had passed away. She'd settled on the ranch with her mother because she knew Neal would be back to visit his family, maybe even to settle down when he finally gave up the rodeo.

Running both hands through her hair, she gave a heavy sigh. There was no point in going to bed now. She would only find herself going over and over the one conversation they wouldn't have. A conversation about a future together.

Neal wouldn't give up the rodeo. She wouldn't live that lifestyle with Chance in tow, traveling for months at a time to a new town every week. Nor was she willing to sit at home and wait for Neal to make a rare appearance, wondering each time he rode if she would get that devastating phone call. So where did that leave them? Nowhere.

She never expected Neal to forgive her for keeping him in the dark about Chance. Her lie had denied him a son, cheated his mother of a grandchild, but Neal had come to terms with it in a way that surprised her.

He wanted what was best for his son, even if he couldn't be in the picture to provide it. He had matured a lot in their time apart. He was a better man than the one she had left.

Would he have changed as much for the better if they had stayed together?

Her new sandals had started pinching her little toes. She kicked them off and they flew across the room. What use was it to wonder how things might have been? Nothing was going to change. Neal would leave. She had to accept that they would never be together.

She left the kitchen and padded barefoot through the silent house. She needed something to do. She could start by cleaning up the mess on the porch. After opening the back door, she froze in surprise.

Neal was gathering up the helium-filled balloons and tying their long strings together. He turned at the sound of the door and smiled at her. “I thought Chance might want these in his room for a while. They'll last a few more days before they go flat.”

“I'm sure he'd like that.” She stepped out into the glow of the porch light and began to gather up discarded paper plates, napkins, wrapping paper and plastic forks. She was acutely aware of him and the fact that they were alone in the house except for her sleeping child.

With all the balloons in one bunch, Neal tied them to the arm of the swing and moved to help her. He picked up a trash bag and held it open. “It was a nice party.”

She dropped her handfuls of trash into the bag and glanced at his face. Was he thinking of all the birthday parties he had missed? “Yes, it was. I haven't thanked you yet for Chance's gift.”

He shrugged. “I remember how crazy I was about my dog at that age. I think with a little training, she'll turn out to be a good dog. When she'd old enough, you can look into having her trained as a hearing ear dog. It might make things a little easier for you. Chance isn't going to want to stay in the yard much longer, no matter how much you want him to.”

“I know.” She moved to pull the banner off the table. A sharp pain lanced her instep. She gave a small cry. Neal caught her by the arm as she staggered backward.

“What's wrong?”

“I stepped on something.”

He guided her to the swing. “Sit down and let me see.”

Dropping onto the swing seat, she held her foot up. “I must have missed a piece of glass after I cleaned up the broken pitcher.”

“Clara gave us all a bit of a shock with that. Do you think she knows?”

“That the piano is out of tune or that the forecast is calling for snow? No, I don't think she knows Chance is your son.”

Wet warmth oozed down her foot as drops of bright blood splattered on the gray board floor. Neal knelt in front of her and grasped her foot with gentle hands. “Do you honestly believe they would love Chance less if they knew?”

“I don't want to find out.”

“Point taken. You should know better than to come out without shoes,” he chided.

“They were pinching my toes,” she offered in self-defense.

He grabbed a handful of napkins and blotted the bottom of her sole. “And this feels better?”

“No. I think something's still in there,” she said, wincing when he touched the wound.

“You're right. Hold still,” he ordered and bent closer. A twinge shot through her instep. He leaned back and held up a small shard of bloody glass. He tossed it into the trash bag on the floor beside him.

He pressed the napkin against her sole until he'd made sure the bleeding had stopped. He cupped her heel in one hand and brushed the bottom of her foot to make sure there weren't any more pieces on her skin. Instead of putting her foot down, he continued to hold it. A flush of heat stole through her body.

“Thanks.”

He looked up at her. His eyes darkened with desire. “My pleasure.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

A
WEALTH
OF
sensations swept over Robyn as she stared into Neal's eyes. The intensity of his gaze held her motionless as he knelt in front of her, holding her bare foot in his hands. Gentle, warm hands. Her pulse pounded as the sultry darkness beyond the porch seemed to press in on them.

Tension shimmered between them. His hand moved slightly up the back of her calf. She licked her suddenly dry lips.

Abruptly, he looked away and released her foot. “You should get some disinfectant on that.”

Robyn nodded, not trusting her voice. She drew up her foot and tucked it beneath her. The soft, bright material of her dress whispered like silk as she smoothed it over her long, tan legs, hiding them from his view. The warmth of his touch still lingered on her skin.

He glanced around the floor. “There may be other pieces out here. You shouldn't take the chance of walking barefoot.”

“No, I shouldn't.”

“I'll have to carry you.”

“Okay,” she said meekly.

Okay?
What was she thinking? When he had held her foot, she'd almost turned into a puddle of jelly. What would happen if he held her in his arms? She studied his face and saw him hesitate. His lips pressed into a tight line as he suddenly bent, scooped her up and held her against his chest.

Of their own accord, her arms circled his neck. The tenseness of her body slowly ebbed away and a feeling of rightness filled her. This was where she belonged, where she had always belonged. Safe in his arms. She closed her eyes and leaned her face into the crook of his neck.

His scent filled her nostrils, so masculine, so uniquely his own. She drew in a deep breath, as if she could draw his essence into her soul. She yearned to kiss him, to press her lips against his firm jaw and his neck until he turned his mouth to meet hers, but she didn't dare. If his lips touched hers, she would go up in flames.

His heart beat as wildly as hers; she could feel it through the thin fabric of his shirt. For the longest instant he stood motionless, but then he turned and carried her into the house.

He halted inside the back door, and disappointment flooded her when he lowered her feet to the floor. He was going to let her go again. She couldn't bear it. Suddenly she knew this time she wanted to hang on to him for all she was worth. His arms fell to his sides, but hers remained around his neck.

He cleared his throat and asked, “Can you walk?”

“No,” she whispered against the warm flesh of his throat.

His deep groan filled her with hope. “Robyn, do you know what you're doing?”

She leaned back to see his face, and then she cupped it with both hands. “Yes, I do,” she answered.

For a timeless moment, he held her with an almost desperate fierceness. His lips touched her forehead, then her eyelids and her cheeks until they settled at last on her lips.

Tentative at first, his kiss deepened slowly, and Robyn lost herself in the surge of pleasure as his mouth moved over hers, slanting first one way and then another, feeding the hunger growing in her. His hands skimmed up her back to cup the nape of her neck as the kiss ended. He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, “I think we had better stop right here.”

Her mind was a riot of jumbled desires. How could she make him understand what she barely understood herself? He lifted her chin until she had to look at him. He said, “We're friends, remember?”

“What if I want to be more than friends?” Would he understand what she was trying to say? That she was still in love with him? She wanted to whisper those words, no, shout those words, but something stopped her. Gazing up at his face, she was suddenly afraid those words would send him away, and she knew she couldn't bear that.

She wanted to be held by him. She wanted to lie curled against his side all through the night and listen to the sound of his breathing in the darkness. But she didn't want it for one night. She wanted it forever.

He took a step back. “I should be going.”

She laid her heart on the line. “What if I don't want you to go?”

“Robyn, honey, I've made my share of mistakes in the past. I don't want to make another one.”

Shame filled her. “And staying with me would be a mistake?”

“That's not what I meant. I want to be part of your life, Robyn and part of our son's life. Can you let me do that?”

Was it possible? Could she let him be a father to her son even if they never revealed the truth to anyone else? It had been one thing to live with that kind of lie when Neal hadn't been around, but how could she keep it up day after day?

Suddenly, a rectangle of light swung across the darkened room as a car drove past the window. Her mother was home, along with Edward and Clara. Robyn moved away from Neal. “I need to think about this.”

“Sure.” Disappointment filled his voice.

“Can you meet me tomorrow afternoon?” she asked suddenly.

“I can be here anytime you want.”

“No, not here. Meet me at the springs?” She heard the slam of a car door and voices outside.

“When?” he asked quietly.

“Late afternoon.” She looked toward the front door.

He grasped her face gently and turned it toward him. “If you don't come, I'll understand, okay?”

* * *

L
ATE
THE
NEXT
afternoon, Robyn turned her horse into the mouth of the canyon. After tossing and turning for hours the previous night, she still hadn't decided what she was going to say to Neal. She loved him. Chance adored him. But would that be enough in the end? Could he continue to live the lie she had started? She just didn't know, but she did know one thing—she loved Neal. She always had, no matter how hard she had tried to deny it.

The smell of wood smoke drifted to her. He was already there. He had a small campfire going in the clearing, and he'd spread a quilt in the shade of the cottonwood trees. A towel fluttered from a low branch and his hair glistened with drops of water. He must have been swimming. He looked up as she rode in, and a relieved smile appeared on his face.

“You made it.” He stood and caught hold of her horse's bridle when she stopped beside him. Her heart turned over in her chest at the sight of his happiness. After so much heartache, didn't they both deserve a chance at happiness?

“Were you worried I wouldn't come?”

He gestured toward the hamper that sat in the shade. “A little, but I brought enough food for two. Fried chicken, potato salad and chocolate brownies.”

“Sounds wonderful. I haven't eaten a thing all day,” she said, swinging down from her horse. She'd been too distracted and agitated to eat.

He led her horse away and hobbled it with his own. Robyn sat on a fallen log beside the fire and rummaged through the wooden hamper. In a few minutes, she had spread out the feast. Neal climbed up to the springs and pulled a pair of long-necked beer bottles from the cold water.

Too nervous and uncertain to handle the conversation she knew was coming, Robyn applied herself to the meal with a gusto she didn't really feel. Neal kept up a flow of small talk that didn't require much in the way of replies, and, after a while, she began to relax and enjoy the surroundings and the food.

She licked the last bit of brownie icing from her fingers. “There's no surer way to a woman's heart than chocolate.”

“No kidding? I thought it was pancakes.”

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

His smile slowly faded and he said, “I love that sound.”

“What sound?”

“Your laughter. It's the sexiest sound on earth. I think I've missed it more than anything else.”

Her own smile faded. She wanted him to kiss her again. She reached out and brushed a bit of frosting from the corner of his lip. He caught her hand and held it as he studied her face, and then he pressed a kiss to her palm. When she didn't draw away, he moved his free hand to the back of her head and pulled her close. Gently, he kissed her lips.

After a long moment, she broke away. Staring at him, she asked, “Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“What you said last night. That you wanted to be part of my life and part of Chance's life.”

“Yes, I did.” Stroking her cheek softly with his knuckle, he said, “I've never wanted anything more.”

“More than you want a world championship?”

He studied her silently, then he moved away from her and sat up. “Is that what you're asking me to do? Give up riding?”

Was she asking for more than he could give? She took a deep breath. “Yes, I am. Chance and I can't follow you on the road. I'm not sure I could stand it, waiting here for you, wondering every time you rode if you were going to get hurt or worse.”

He stared down at the quilt for a long time without answering her. Her heart began to pound painfully.

* * *

N
EAL
PICKED
AT
a loose bit of thread as he avoided looking at Robyn. Could he do as she asked? Could he quit cold turkey, never knowing if he still had the guts to climb down in a chute and straddle a bull again?

Part of him wanted to shout, “Hell, yes, I quit!” Part of him wanted to tell her no. She couldn't ask him to give up the thing he loved. It wasn't fair of her to ask so much.

He rose to his feet and walked several feet away. She watched him but didn't say anything.

Which was the right answer? Which was the answer they could both live with? It seemed so simple, but it wasn't.

He thought of all he had to gain and all he had to lose if he made the wrong choice. He wanted Robyn and Chance to be part of his daily life. But he also wanted to be a man with self-respect. If he didn't have that, what kind of husband and what kind of father could he be?

All the emotional stuff aside, how could he support a family without his rodeo winnings? He had some earnings socked away, but that wouldn't last forever. Robyn had a good job, but he didn't want to live on her salary. Maybe he was old-fashioned, but he believed a man earned a wage and didn't live off his wife's money.

He knew he couldn't ride bulls forever, but he didn't think his career should be over today.

Robyn crossed her arms over her chest as if she was cold. This wasn't easy for her, either. Everything he had worked for was riding on the answer he gave her.

Would love be enough? Or would he come to resent Robyn and his son for making him give up his dream the way his father resented the choice his wife had forced him to make? The last thing Neal wanted was to walk in his father's footsteps.

Robyn bit her lower lip as she waited for him to speak. God, she was so beautiful. How could he deny them both this second chance at love? There was only one answer. He walked back to the quilt and sat beside her.

“All right, I'll quit riding.”

She stared at him in disbelief. “Just like that? I honestly didn't believe you would agree.”

He stood and held out his hand. “Just like that, Tweety. I'm an ex-rodeo bum.”

Grasping her hand, he pulled her to her feet and into his arms. Bracing her hands on his chest, she peered closely at his face. “Neal, are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe you should think it over. I know I'm asking a lot.”

“Honey, there's nothing to think about.”

“But it's meant so much to you.” He silenced her with a finger to her lips.

“You mean more. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Chance.”

“You won't be able to tell anyone he's your son.”

“You and I will know it. Someday, we'll tell him. That's good enough for me. I love you, Tweety.”

* * *

R
OBYN
'
S
HEART
SOARED
with joy. How she had longed to hear him say those words. “Oh, Neal, I love you, too.”

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion she had kept hidden, even from herself.

They were both breathless by the time the kiss ended. His smile was soft as he studied her face. “What do you think Chance will say about my courting his mother?”

“I think he'll like the idea. At least I hope he will. Now, my mother is going to be totally delighted.”

He gave a short bark of laughter. “Mine, too. I think they've been planning this all along.”

“I think you're right.”

He pulled her close again and rested his chin on top of her hair. “You know, the county fair starts tomorrow in Everett City. How about you, me and Chance spending the day together? Just the three of us. Like a family.”

She knew the wide grin on her face must look foolish, but she didn't care. Her most secret wish, so long denied, was coming true at last.

“Just the three of us—I like the sound of that. I love the sound of that.”

“So do I.”

Her smile faded slightly, and she drew away. “Oh, wait. I almost forgot. I volunteered to work at the hospital's health screening booth from three to five on the opening day of the fair.”

“No problem. Chance and I can kick around the midway for a couple of hours and then we can all go to the parade after you're done.”

“All right,” she agreed slowly. “I guess that will work.”

He tipped up her chin with one hand and fixed her with a steady stare. “Letting me have Chance for a few hours can't be that hard, can it? What's the matter—don't you trust me?”

“It's not that. It's just that he's so small, and he can't communicate with anyone who doesn't sign and he doesn't like crowds.”

Neal pulled her into a quick hug. “You worry too much. We'll get along fine. After all, it's only for a couple of hours. What could go wrong?”

He kissed her again and drove the last of her worries out of her head.