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Authors: Joyce and Jim Lavene

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BOOK: Harrowing Hats
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“Maybe we should open a chastity belt shop,” one of the varlets retorted.
“There has to be something you can do, Chase.” My twin brother, Tony, added his voice to the discussion. “I hear they were interested in Jessie last night. She’ll end up in the black tents with them before the week is out. Then you’ll really understand our problem.”
If my brother was having lady problems because of the knights, there must really be an issue. I hadn’t seen him since I’d arrived. He lived here year-round like Chase and many of the others. And, usually, women flocked to him like magpies.
Chase held up his hand for silence after allowing a few minutes of banter regarding Tony’s manhood. “I’ll talk to the knights. But they aren’t kidnapping your girlfriends. If Jessie, or any other lady, decides to go with them, there’s not much I can do. But I’ll definitely have a word with them about the performances.”
No one was very happy with that decision—except for the Tornado Twins, Diego and Lorenzo. They’re comedians with a mature audience sticker on all the signs and handouts around the Village.
Diego prostrated himself at Chase’s feet. “Take me with you! I want to live in the black tents. I could water their horses or shave their heads. I don’t care. I just want to be like them.”
His brother, Lorenzo, came up and slipped a leash around his neck. “You’re staying home tonight! No more running around the forest with those knights. Maybe these other guys don’t know how to keep their partners home, but I know about your secret life of peanut butter and debauchery. Come along!”
A little pig with a tiny pink umbrella fastened to its head went with them, following at their heels like a puppy.
“Anything else?” Chase asked as the male portion of the group began to wander back to their shops and jobs.
Mother Goose, holding Phineas, her live fowl, came forward with one of the Lovely Laundry Ladies. “Yes, Bailiff. We were wondering if you could take us out to help you with the knights. We’re both very good at problem solving.”
Chase shook his head, his dark braid flipping over his shoulder, the early-morning sunlight glinting on the gold earring he wore. “Ladies, seriously, you know where the tents are. If you want to go out there, do so.”
Mother Goose
humphed
. “It’s not that easy to get an introduction. I’ll bet you take Jessie out there with you.”
“Not if he’s smart,” Tony commented.
“If that’s all.” Chase tried again to wrap up the justice system in the Village.
“I have a question.” Detective Almond seemed to come out of nowhere—still wearing the same clothes he’d been wearing earlier this morning.
“What can I do for you, detective?” Chase asked.
“You can tell me who you think killed your chocolate-making friend. I hate to take you away from all this important stuff, Manhattan. But it looks like you really do have a murder on your hands.”
Five

A
t least I didn’t get out of bed at two A.M. for nothing,” Detective Almond joked. “What kind of kangaroo court are you running out here anyway? Those people court are you running out here anyway? Those people acted like you’re judge and jury.”
Chase didn’t try to explain. It never went well with someone from the outside anyway. “I guess it was kind of easy for you to tell that Cesar didn’t die of natural causes once you found the hat pin in his eye.”
“Yep. But that was just some kind of weird symbolism—like the hat, I guess. It’s not what killed him.”
“What did?” Chase wondered.
“Maybe we should take this inside,” Detective Almond suggested, glancing around like someone was listening to him even though it was only the three of us. His gaze finally rested on me. “Police business. You don’t mind, do you?”
I realized he was talking to (and about) me. “Of course not. I’m late for work anyway. See you later, Chase.”
I wasn’t late. The Village wouldn’t open for another hour. I knew Chase would tell me what Detective Almond had to say when we met up later. After all, Chase was the designated protector for the Village, and I was just an apprentice hatmaker. My feelings weren’t
really
hurt to be left out of the important discussion.
Tony and I had plenty of time to wander down to the Monastery Bakery and catch up on the last few months. He talked of nothing but the girls he’d dated and his continuing job doing promotion work for Robin Hood. I suppose I was the same about school and Chase.
I could smell coffee and cinnamon rolls on the morning air by the time we’d reached the Dutchman’s Stage. A few residents were up already, working on their skits for the day or practicing with their animals. Tom, Tom the Piper’s Son, probably had one of the hardest jobs in the Village, since it required him to catch a piglet then let it go and catch it again after the laughter and applause were over.
Lady Godiva, already in her long blond wig and fleshcolored bodysuit, was working with her horse. She had obviously been recently cast, since the animal seemed to have a great distaste for her. I never knew who was going to be the naked lady when I returned to the Village each summer. It was an often-cast part.
I saw the new Green Man practicing on his stilts without his costume. Again, another new addition. Most people only made it through a few weeks with that part, too. They either moved on to something easier than portraying a walking tree, or they left the Village for other, more gainful employment.
I could see the pirate ship,
Queen’s Revenge
, under full sail across Mirror Lake. I’d heard they’d added mermaids to the pirate scenario. I hadn’t made it to that part of the lake since I arrived, but I was curious about them.
I reminded Tony of when we were kids and our grandmother had taken us to Florida where there were mermaids swimming underwater in glass cases. I thought it was amazing, and I wanted to be a mermaid for a long time after that. Tony didn’t remember it at all.
Of course, fairies were flitting here and there on the cobblestones and the grass. Their bright colors and dainty wings were pretty
and
annoying. They wore virtually nothing while the rest of us sweltered (and were completely covered up) in real-life Renaissance clothing. They were a bunch of flirts and troublemakers. I’ve lost track of how many of them have wasted their time flirting with Chase right in front of me.
By this time, we were at the bakery. There had been some expansion work done in the past season. It looked like the addition of pastries to the regular coffee lineup had been successful for the Brotherhood of the Sheaf. Their breadmaking skills were legendary—which is no doubt what made their cinnamon rolls the best in the world.
“Lady Jessie,” Brother Carl greeted me at the door. He smiled and patted my shoulder, an odd gesture, since the black-robed monks were normally very hands off. “It is wonderful to see you again!”
“Thanks. It’s good to see you again, too. I’m ready for the biggest mocha you have with a cinnamon roll on the side. Maybe two cinnamon rolls.”
Brother Carl smiled wisely. “Man trouble?”
“Yes, but not the kind you think. The police are in the Village. You know what that means.”
“Indeed. We heard about the terrible demise of Cesar Rizzo. Are there any suspects?”
“I think everyone here is probably on some suspect list right now.” I took my mocha and cinnamon roll from a new, young, handsome monk who was too shy to look me in the eye. “Any ideas?”
Brother Carl shrugged. “One doesn’t like to speak ill of the dead, Lady Jessie. But you know Cesar had a penchant for the ladies.”
“I know.”
“I’m not sure what a penchant is,” Tony said with his mouth full of cinnamon roll, “but he slept around a lot, that’s for sure.”
“There have been many altercations between Cesar and ladies he left behind as well as gentlemen unhappy that his roving gaze fell on their lady. I suppose they have questioned Cesar’s brothers?” Brother Carl asked.
“I’m not sure. Are you saying you think one of them could have chocolate-coated him to death?” I sipped my mocha.
“Again, this is only my speculation. But there is a lady who Cesar had been wooing. She had proven difficult for him because she had another suitor. I’m not sure who that lady, or gentleman, is.”
“Thanks, Brother Carl. Excellent cinnamon roll, by the way.”
“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “But let’s not worry about Cesar. He’s dead. We need to do something about the knights. What about those guys?”
Brother Carl had plenty to say about the knights, too. Of course, the Village was always rife with gossip. When something happened, it was like a juggernaut of speculation and interest. Before Tony and I had left the bakery, at least five other people had stopped in to chat about Cesar’s death. Each of them had a different theory.
But because my theory went along with Brother Carl’s, I decided he was right and tried to think of ways to proceed. There was nothing wrong with helping Chase and the police. They could probably use it.
Outside the bakery, Tony and I ran into Robin Hood and two of his Merry Men. I’d known Robin and Alex, his right-hand man, for years. I lived in Sherwood Forest during the summers that I dated each man. The tree houses were popular with visitors but not so much once you’d lived there. There was no running water or plumbing—but there was plenty of electricity for toaster ovens and, recently, computers.
“Hail, Lady Jessie.” Robin sketched a short bow. All the Merry Men had to be careful or their little green hats fell off. “Have you seen the Bailiff this morning?”
Alex laughed. “Of course she’s seen him. They live together!”
Robin gave him a harsh frown. “Indeed. That is common knowledge. I was being polite, something you’ve obviously forgotten. Prince John and the Sheriff of Nottingham are more polite than you.”
“What is this politeness kick you’re on, Toby?” Alex demanded.
Robin, aka Toby, grimaced and shushed him. “No wonder we’re losing out to the knights. Have you ever heard any of them who weren’t polite and well spoken?”
“I don’t think that’s their appeal,” Tony argued. “You need horses, Robin. Big, white horses to compete with them.”
“Okay,” I said. “I think you guys don’t need me for this conversation. See you around.”
“No!” Robin stopped me. “We need help, Jessie. Chase won’t do what needs to be done with the Templar Knights. Have you seen them? Maid Marion ran off to their encampment yesterday. And they don’t think anything of riding into our space in the forest. Something has to be done.”
“I heard all the complaints this morning. I have to tell you, except for interrupting performances, Chase wasn’t sympathetic.”
“Ah, that’s where you come in. You could talk to Chase about the problem now that you’re here and you’ve seen it for yourself. You could persuade him to take up arms against the knights.” Robin put one arm around my shoulder and leaned in close.
“Yeah. Chase needs to get them off of those horses and kick their butts,” Tony agreed in a less quaint style. “I know you can do it, Jessie. He listens to you.”
I shrugged. “I’ll talk to him about it. But from the way it sounds, the knights are very popular right now. You guys might have to spice up your performances so you get your crowd back. Then Adventure Land would be more likely to listen to complaints about them.”
Tony nodded. “Like I said—big, white horses. Chicks love them.”
“Thanks, Jessie,” Robin added. “We’ll see what we can do. Any suggestions?”
I didn’t step into that pit of no return. Nothing I could say would really be appreciated by these men who believed wearing green tights and living in the forest was enough for every woman to fall in love with them. Children loved the tree houses, but it sounded like they enjoyed the big black tents, too. Robin and his group of tree dwellers were going to have to find their own way out of this.
I got over to the hat shop at the stroke of nine A.M. The group of assistants were already being dressed down by Andre for their lack of work on recent projects.
“We are short ten hats. Ten! We have only a few days before they’re needed at the Stage Caravan. I shouldn’t have to tell any of you about this, but it seems I must do it each day. Now go and get busy. If all of you had worked on the movie
Cleopatra
, as my father did, they would still be filming it!”
The assistants ran out of the room, jostling with each other to see who could get out first. I wondered where Andre had found this particular group of young men who seemed more inclined to be squires or jesters than to be working with hats.
“I’m delighted to see that you’ve returned, Jessie.” Andre sat down on a pretty little chair with delicate needlework on the seat. “I hope having you here will make a difference. These boys aren’t interested in haberdashery. I don’t know why they’re here.”
A good reason came through the door. Blond hair tousled, blue eyes wide and starlit, the young woman was looking for a green hat to complement her costume. All of the assistants came back from the work area to help her make that choice.
BOOK: Harrowing Hats
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