Hatchling (Tameron and the Dragon) (12 page)

Tam was about to open the inner door and risk Dorena's wrath, when Marysa began kindling a fire in the small hearth away from the hay. She took off her cloak and outer dress as soon as the flames caught. He watched her numbly till she began stripping him, too. "You're more frozen than you think," she said loudly, as the noise of the storm outside filled the room.

He stared at the tops of her rounded breasts, tightly pressed against her chemise. "Not now," he said hoarsely, ignored the way his voice broke, and caught her in his arms. He was taller than she was and hadn't realized it before.

"Take off that shirt, then, it's soaked. I'll have to take this off, too, since you got it wet," she said with a smile.

Tam's mouth went dry as he obeyed. He longed to reach for her again, but was deliciously caught between desire and terror. She tossed her head. Her beautiful, silky dark hair tumbled down her shoulders and onto her bare body as the pins fell out. "Perhaps you are just a boy," she said in quietly. "Here I am, and all you can do is shiver. It's not like anyone can hear us over the wind as long as we're careful."

"Wait!" he said and shed everything. Who needed a fire? His clothes
should have gone up in flames from the way he felt. He should be embarrassed at the way his body showed how much he wanted to love her, but didn't care. Knowing the others were only a wall away made no difference.

Marysa lay down on a top of a rough blanket close to the hearth. Tam stretched out beside her, hot with need for her, but he wasn't sure what to do next. Just touching her warm skin and loose, dark hair brought shivers
of delight.

"I love you," he said as he buried his face in her breasts. She smelled of sweat and some pungent herbs.

Marysa brushed her hand down his body, leaving tingling pleasure where her fingers wandered. "Such pale hair all over," she murmured. "But I'm glad to see I'm catching a trout, not a minnow!" Then she touched him where he ached the most.

Tam cried out as he spent himself before he'd even begun. It was sharper, deeper, than the lightning that struck him in his dreams. "Oh, Marysa, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said.

She sighed patiently. "Perhaps it's just as well," she said "I didn't know it was going to be like this. If you're going to be so noisy, we'd better wait till Mama's asleep next time."

Tam dressed quickly, even though his clothes were still damp. He was glad
she was thinking of a next time. He leaned over and kissed her. "Thank you," he said, and helped her with her dress.
At least she didn’t laugh at me
.

Dorena looked at them keenly as they entered the cabin by the outer door. Tam hoped that walking through the heavy snow gave him a good reason to have a red face. What if she'd heard them? He'd rather die than have her know what he and Marysa had been doing, never mind how poorly. The Lord and Lady would have to watch over them next time. Marysa said to wait till Dorena was asleep. He promised himself not to be so shy, or so fast!

That evening, Tam sat by the fire after supper and looked around the cabin with new eyes. He saw many repairs not made, gaps that let in cold air, leather hinges beginning to crack for lack of oiling, and a door that didn't hang quite right. If he wanted to be a man in bed, he should be one outside of it. He started whittling small pieces of wood to fit flaws in the walls--especially the one between the barn and the living quarters--till he could chink them properly.

He glanced up at the mourning-statue for
Darin on the mantel. Would his new family be angry with him when their year of grief was over and they put this doll away? He had nothing to offer them. Even the clothes on his back belonged to someone else. Oh, when was he going to remember his name and kin? How could he vow himself to Marysa when he didn't really know who he was?

Jorry lay against his right leg, while Dorena and Marysa worked on mending. Tam worked on carving a toy for the lad. One piece of wood wanted to look like a small horse, so he helped it out by cutting away the parts that didn't fit. The knife didn't feel right when he started on the eye-pits. He ought to have a curved tool with a black handle...then his head hurt again.

Tam got the rough outline done, and then let Jorry play with it. He'd polish it up later. The child was like a younger brother to him.
Maybe a son?
he thought hopefully. He'd have to speak with Marysa's father before he'd have a real place here.

He swore to himself that he'd work hard
and prove he was worthy of her. Then he let himself look at Marysa again, her face rosy in the hearth light. He nearly sliced his finger open trying to work with the wood and gaze at her at the same time. He'd do anything to make her happy.

The warmth of the fire nearly put him to sleep. He carved without much thought on a long, narrow piece. A face grew under the blade, a proud man with flowing hair that took on a crimson glow from the flames. The empty eye-holes stared at him searchingly. Without knowing why, Tam angrily flung the wood into the hearth. Dorena looked at him oddly. "I'm sorry," he said. "It wasn't very good."

The next few days were torture. Marysa couldn't return to the inn with the snow so deep, even though the storm was over, but wouldn't have anything to do with him. He tried to work off his frustration building a snow wall behind the house to ward off the wind that always blew on someone going to the privy. He chopped wood till his arms were sore, caught small game to supplement their meager diet, and gathered pine cones to strip when he watched the cows. No matter how tired he became, he had no peace at night, only flaming dreams of Marysa that left him gasping for breath.

One evening Tam tried to make sense of Aylar's accounts to distract himself from Marysa's presence. Dorena looked surprised that he knew his letters, but had fetched the large book from under her bed and set up a tallow lamp on the table when he'd asked if there was anything to read.

The marching columns of numbers helped to cool his brain. Then he became intrigued by the puzzle they presented. Why were this family so poor? They'd once been prosperous. A dowry portion went out nearly eight years ago, but was followed by the loss of everything but this cabin and the cows a few seasons later. Marysa was older than he thought, if she was fifteen when she married. That didn't matter. If only she didn't think he was too young! He glanced at her, but she ignored him.

Tam went back to the numbers in front of him. Some coins came in each year, but flowed out just as fast. He couldn't figure out where most of them went. Other entries were clear--salt, some cloth, herbs--but the remainder was simply listed a
s 'paid out' with no other comment.

As he worked, he heard Marysa tell her mother she was going back to the inn tomorrow. Dorena tried to talk her daughter out of it. The old woman sounded worried.
He was, too. Was this family in trouble already? Was he adding to it? The accounts didn't list any extra debt where the payments could be going, not even rent or land-right.

Then again, why should Marysa work
away from here? If he labored hard enough, there should be no need. Of course, they hadn't planned on him making a hole in their food this winter.

Just before bedtime Marysa announced that she was going to check on the cows. After the smile she sent his way, he had to follow. He went to the privy first in case Dorena was watching. Then he circled around behind the snow wall to the barn door. Once he was inside, Marysa placed her lamp well away from the feed. "It certainly took you long enough," she whispered.

"What do you mean? I've stained the blankets three nights in a row dreaming of you!" he blurted out. It was too early. Jorry wasn't asleep yet, let alone Dorena. That didn't matter. "I didn't know. You didn't say anything. I thought you were angry with me, or thought I wasn't any good at it." He barely kept himself from taking her in his arms right then.

She embraced him. "Oh, Tam, I keep forgetting how new you are at this. I thought you didn't like me. I've had enough of that already..." She grimaced.

Who was
that
foolish? He couldn't imagine it. He gulped, and remembered he had to speak quietly. "Marysa...will you marry me? I'll make you proud of me. As soon as your father returns I'll speak to him. Oh, I wish it was Midsummer!" No one kept lovers apart during the festival that celebrated the joy found by the Lord and Lady in each other.

She laid her head on his shoulder. It still felt strange to be taller than she was. If she wanted to lean on him, he was ready to bear any burden to deserve this trust.

"What about Jorry?" she murmured in his ear. She sounded terrified.

"Any man would be glad of such a son. Including me." Didn't she know how much he wanted her? "I want to be your husband." Tam looked down at her breasts, which strained against the cloth confining them. His hands slid down to her hips and clasped her warm body against his. Lord and Lady, he shouldn't go so fast or he'd burn too hot again. He took a deep breath. That didn't help. The scent of her skin and hair nearly drove him mad.

She turned her face up to his and gently touched his cheek. "We have all the time we need, Tam. I put herbs in Mama's cup so she'd go to sleep faster tonight. You've given us all a gift by being here. My mother was giving up before you came. She loved watching over you when you were so sick. She's much happier now, when before she only grieved over Darin, and brooded over what Jorry reminded her of."

"You gave me my life," Tam whispered, and held her close. He tried to think of numbers, cool black numbers on
light paper, so the flames inside didn't make him boil over too soon.

"I know what it's like to want someone..." Marysa murmured, and loosened her bodice. "Oh, yes, kiss me there again, I like that..."

Tam's lips obeyed, and he let them travel down her neck and shoulders. Soon he couldn't speak. He gave himself up to Marysa's caresses as her hands ruffled his hair and dipped down below his shirt-collar. Even with clothes on, he was shaking with desire for her. They lay down together on a pile of straw.

Dorena flung open the inner door. She barely
missed kicking over the lamp as she dragged her daughter to her feet. "Wanton! Slut!" she cried, and slapped Marysa in the face.

Tam stood up and pulled the older woman away. "It was my fault, Dorena. Don't hit her!" He continued. "
I love her. I love you too. Please don't be so angry!"

"I know whose lascivious ways caused our family's downfall! She can't keep her hands off men, even an innocent boy!"

"I'm not a boy. I'm man enough to know what I want," he said with a calm he didn't feel. "It's not her fault!"

"What do you know except what she's taught you?" Dorena asked furiously.

Marysa laced up her bodice. "Mama, he's not my brother, no matter how much you want him to be. He can stay here as my husband instead. Papa can't do it all." Her voice trembled. "Better Tam than one of those louts in the town who see me as nothing but a servant, or a traveler who thinks I'm on the menu!"

Was this all she thought of him?
I hope she's just saying this to convince her mother
, he thought. Whichever way she meant it, he'd learn how to make her love him.

Dorena looked at him with keen eyes. "Tam, how do you really feel about her?"

"I love her! I asked her to marry me. I want to be part of your family. If only your husband will approve." He suddenly felt unsure. He had nothing to bring to this match but himself. Dorena had the right to drive him away if she liked.

Marysa spoke up. "Mama, he didn't ask who Jorry's father was. He said he'd be glad of such a son. I can't do any worse than I already have, can I?"

Dorena began weeping. "Haven't we paid enough for that marriage? What more do we have to give?"

Tam put his arm around the older woman. He wanted to protect all of them.

Marysa smiled bitterly. "Tam, you'd better know the truth. When I was just a girl, I was married off to Lord Honnold, who owns a great estate. He had a lover already, but not the kind to give him heirs. Our lands were close to his, so everyone thought it was a great match. I thought--I thought he might love me, not just use me for breeding..." Her voice faltered. Then she continued. "It was no good. He blamed me for not bearing, even though he only came to my bed when he was drunk. I hope you never learn any of
his
tricks! To make a long story short, his cousin came to visit and taught me there's more than duty in bed. He was long gone when Jorry was born, though. I thought Honnold wouldn't mind. The boy had his blood, and I never turned him away the few times he wanted me. Then he saw me talking with the steward, and accused of wanting to cuckold him again. Why he'd care I'll never know--his favorite and he had their own bedroom, just down the hall from mine!" Tears dripped down her face.

"I swore I was true to him. He didn't believe me, but let it go that time. Then he was suspicious of the stable boy, a farmer bringing his rent, and any man who wasn't half-dead. I told him I may as well make eyes at everybody for all the attention he gave me! Then he
beat me whenever he thought I betrayed him. He wouldn't stop till I told him everything, though I had to make up most of it. I put up with it till he started on the boy."

"That's why Jorry has nightmares," Tam said.