Having the Rancher's Baby (14 page)

The problem was, he missed her like crazy. He could easily, and often did, conjure up her smile, with its gorgeous, sexy dimples. And those green eyes of hers. One minute they'd be flashing with delight, warmth or humor. The next, they'd spark with anger or indignation. Regardless of her mood, she captivated him.

Not that he liked it when she was mad at him. He did, however, enjoy the many facets of her moods, if only to watch her expressions change as if a magic wand had been waved across her face.

Her passion for life, her job and her unborn child both inspired and enthralled him. When that passion was directed at Cole, it elevated him to the best version of himself. Though, apparently, he didn't stay there long and came crashing right back down to ground level. Take last week, for example.

He hadn't wanted things to end between them—it was never his intent. Truthfully, he wasn't completely sure they
had
ended things until yesterday, when Vi turned abruptly and made a beeline for the tack room rather than cross paths with him.

Her message couldn't have been any louder or clearer and it had hit him like a fastball to the chest. The pain had been immediate and left a huge hollow space inside him where his heart had once resided.

The encounter also caused him to realize how much he'd hurt her. Perhaps irreparably. He hadn't wanted that, either, but Cole seemed destined for circumstances that changed swiftly and often, neither to his liking nor under his control.

Well, that last part might be a stretch. He could have done one or two things differently.

“Hey, Cole,” Josh called. “Get your head in the game, will you? This meeting is important. What's wrong with you, anyway?”

“Nothing.”

Cole shook himself, both physically and mentally, but it didn't clear the heavy fog of despair surrounding him.

They'd ridden out to section four in Josh's truck. Cole had volunteered to drive, but apparently, after the fiasco when he'd bottomed out in the ravine, he wasn't considered trustworthy.

“If you ask me, he's feeling sorry for himself.” Gabe sent a heated glare in his direction. “I would if I were in his shoes.”

“Funny.” Cole said drily.

“You blew it, brother.”

He hadn't told anyone about his disagreement with Vi. He wasn't sure she had, either. Like him, she kept quiet about her personal problems, revealing only bits and pieces. His family, however, was perceptive and accomplished at deciphering bits and pieces.

Cole had been deflecting jabs for the past couple days, mostly from Josh and Gabe, through Raquel had gotten in on the action. Vi, from what he'd seen and heard, was receiving only support and sympathy.

No one in the family was happy about their fight. They acted as if Cole had argued with them rather than Vi.

The one bright note was that all the parents had gone home. Before leaving, Julia and Edgar Hathaway apologized to Raquel for the scene they'd caused. Cole's mother had not. Not to him and Josh and not to Cara, her future daughter-in-law. Cole doubted she'd be returning to Mustang Valley any time soon and continued to press her case for one of them to move home.

“Lay off me, will you?” Cole complained. Leaning his back on the truck door, he tugged his hat low to shade his face and block his view of his brothers.

Not to be ignored, Gabe came up beside him and propped an elbow on the hood. “You brought this on yourself,” he said, without a trace of sympathy.

Not entirely by himself. Disagreements required two or more people. But Gabe and the other Dempseys had known Vi for over ten years and loved her like family. Their relationship with Cole was new and untried. Put in a position to choose sides, they'd likely pick Vi's.

Today, that left the three brothers standing awkwardly in the middle of Dos Estrellas's six hundred acres as they waited for the cattle buyer who could, if he liked the steers, solve most of their financial problems.

“You should marry her,” Gabe said.

“You think I didn't ask?”

Josh sauntered over. “Did you?”

“What? You two get together ahead of time and strategize?” Cole glanced accusingly at Gabe first, then Josh.

“Answer the question.”

“Not exactly.” Cole would have tugged his hat lower on his face if he thought it would do any good.

Instead, he glanced at his phone, checking the time, then studied the horizon and the dirt road leading to the pasture gate. “Shouldn't Joey and this Maitlin guy be here? It's after two.”

“Why not?” Gabe move closer. “She not good enough for you? She's having your baby.”

“She's too good for me.” Cole chuckled bitterly. “I promised her I'd take care of her and the baby. Except I can't. Not without some kind of salary coming in. The only way I know of to earn money is rodeoing. Only she doesn't want me to go on the road. What the hell else do I have to offer her? Third ownership in a ranch that isn't turning a profit?”

Josh shook his head dismally. “You're right. She is too good for you.”

“You have an answer? Because I'm all ears.”

Gabe didn't say anything, but there was a noticeable change in his expression as the hard set of his jaw lessened.

Thankfully, Cole was spared further interrogation by the appearance of a vehicle in the distance, rumbling along the dirt road that cut across the adjoining section. “Looks like our buyer is here.”

Cole was less sure of the sale going through than his brothers, who both assumed all that remained was to sign on the dotted line. Perhaps he'd been disappointed once too often and didn't like counting on something before it was a done deal.

He did understand their excitement even if he couldn't share it. With over four hundred steers to sell, and current prices on the rise, they could make a fair profit.

More than that, the ranch would have a surplus of cash, something they'd done without since Cole's father became sick. They hadn't discussed in detail what they'd do with the money if the sale went through, what bills they'd pay after the balance owed to the cancer treatment center.

When the truck with Joey and Maitlin arrived, they made introductions all around and proceeded to the fence line for a gander at the steers. The long-distance inspection was followed by a closer one. Joey stayed behind while the four men traveled in one truck, driving down a ridge that took them nearer to the herd. They stopped when the steers appeared uneasy, not wanting them to run, and got out, approaching the rest of the way on foot.

The inspection took more than an hour. Maitlin had a lot of questions. He recorded voice notes on his phone and took a dozen pictures. Afterward came the negotiations. Cole let Gabe take the lead, as the most knowledgeable, with Josh, as ranch manager, making contributions. Cole mostly observed. And learned.

Would it matter? If he left Mustang Valley, he'd never put his newfound learning to use.

What with all the notes and pictures Maitlin took, Cole expected the cattle buyer to thank them for their trouble, leave and, hopefully, call later with a lowball offer. Instead, he made one right then and there.

Gabe countered as smoothly as if he'd been expecting it all along. Maitlin smiled, and the negotiations were under way. In the end, they reached a deal and shook hands to seal it. Maitlin pulled a checkbook from his pocket and wrote one out to cover the down payment. The transport trucks would arrive within the next two to three days and the remaining funds sent by wire for deposit into the ranch checking account.

Cole was admittedly impressed by his brother. The deal wasn't a bad one. They'd talked ahead of time, deciding on the minimum price they'd take. Gabe had negotiated an amount that was marginally better.

Maitlin declined their invitation to dinner. He was due in St. Johns by seven the next morning.

“Good job,” Cole said, when Maitlin drove off with Joey.

“Damn good.” Josh clapped Gabe hard on the shoulder. “Shall we celebrate? Meet up at the Poco Dinero after dinner?”

The bar where Cole and Vi's relationship began. Hard to believe nearly three and a half months had passed since then. Hard to believe their relationship had ended before it really began.

“I'll check with Reese,” Gabe said. “What about Cara?”

Josh grinned. “I'm sure she'll be up for it.” He turned to Cole. “Guess there's no point in you asking Violet.”

“She might come if the whole family's going. She's more likely to come if I stay away.”

“Dammit, Cole.” Gabe blew out an exasperated breath. “You screwed up.”

He felt compelled to defend himself. “Did it ever occur to you, to either of you, that she screwed up?”

Josh scowled. “You can't be serious.”

“It's complicated.”

“Only if you let it be. What you need to do is go to her, tell her you're sorry, get down on your knees and beg her forgiveness. Promise whatever you have to promise. I did that with Cara.”

“I can't.”

“You're an idiot.”

“I'm as good as broke. How can I go to her when I have nothing?”

“Take this.” Gabe folded the down payment check in half and slipped it into Cole's shirt pocket. “That ought to be enough.”

Cole whipped the check out and pushed it at Gabe. “No way.”

“Consider it the first payment for your share of the ranch.” Gabe looked to Josh for confirmation. “We'll pay you more when the wire comes in for the balance.”

Josh nodded his approval.

“No.” Cole laughed. “Are you nuts? There are bills to pay. The ranch needs this money.” Again he tried to return the check to Gabe.

“You want out, Cole. You have from day one.” Gabe gave him a hard stare. “Here's your chance. You'll have more than enough money to take care of your child. Then you can return to the rodeo circuit or go to California. Whatever you want.”

Cole fingered the check. He thought of his last bull ride, of the excitement coursing through him and the thrill of competing in the finals.

It paled in comparison to holding Vi in his arms and seeing the image of their child on the ultrasound screen.

“Do you think it's possible? To be happily married? To love someone for the rest of your life?”

“Damn straight I do.” Gabe grinned. “I'm counting on it.”

“Kind of a strange remark, coming from a guy whose parents never married.”

“It worked for them. It wouldn't work for Reese and me. A commitment is important to her. Marriage. The whole nine yards. I wouldn't ask her to settle for less.”

“Ditto for Cara,” Josh said.

Cole had asked Vi to settle. He'd suggested they live together. Had that been because, deep down, he was afraid of taking that final step? One that might land him in the same position as his parents?

“Take a few days and think about it,” Josh said.

Cole wasn't sure his brother was advising him to think about marrying Vi or taking the check and leaving.

“What about your wedding?” he asked Gabe. “I don't want to miss it.”

“You can fly back.”

He wished Gabe had made more of an objection.

Unfolding the check, Cole stared at it. The amount was no pittance. This was what he'd wanted the day the attorney read his father's will. A fistful of money. Now, he had it.

What he didn't have, something he'd vowed to earn and keep, was the respect of his brothers. That was the reason he'd sold his roping horses last fall.

Could he leave without it? Was having enough money to support his child worth the trade-off?

Believing he had the answer, he pocketed the check, walked around to the passenger side door and climbed into the truck.

Chapter Fourteen

Violet sat at the desk in the shed, staring at the work schedule for the next two weeks. She could have switched on the small lamp beside her. Today, she preferred the sunlight filtering in through the window, grimy panes, cobwebs and all, to an artificial yellow glow.

All at once, the names and dates on the schedule floated before her eyes as a wave of intense nausea hit.

“No,” she mumbled, “not again.”

Stacking her arms on the desk, she laid her head down and waited for the queasiness to pass. It wasn't entirely unusual for morning sickness to continue into the second trimester. She'd been feeling a lot better these past few weeks, then, bam! She was back to this uneasy roller-coaster ride.

She kept assuring herself the lousy way she felt was entirely the result of changes in her body due to pregnancy, and had no connection whatsoever to the state of her personal life—which happened to be in crisis.

Groaning, she lifted her head slightly and spotted the tin waste basket beside the desk. It would do if in a pinch she failed to reach the bathroom in time.

Several minutes and two dry crackers later, the nausea receded. Sips from her water bottle also helped. Eventually, she resumed studying the schedule, though she still found it hard to concentrate.

Four hundred fewer steers were going to make a difference in the workload and reduce the burden her half-day schedule had put on Cole and the ranch hands.

Then again, that might change when he left. She'd heard about Gabe and Josh offering to buy his share of the ranch with proceeds from the sale. The remaining funds had been deposited yesterday, and the transport trucks arrived bright and early. Josh had overseen the loading of the steers. Violet stopped by to watch but hadn't stayed.

When the family didn't get together last night for a big dinner, Violet assumed Cole had accepted his brothers' offer. That only made sense. Without money from the sale to pay off the remainder of August's medical bills, there had been no reason to celebrate.

Gabe and Raquel wanted Cole to stay. They hadn't said it out loud, but she could tell they'd come to love him. She thought Cole might love them, too, and was just as tight-lipped.

A sharp knock caused her to glance up. Cara stood in the open doorway.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Not at all.” Violet motioned to her friend and sat up straighter, pushing the schedule aside. “I'm pretty much done.”

“I saw your truck parked outside and wanted to see how you're doing. Raquel mentioned you've been looking pale lately.”

There was no chair for Cara to sit on. Brushing a thick layer of dust off an old wooden box, she delicately lowered herself onto it.

“Morning sickness,” Violet complained. “Even in the middle of the afternoon. It comes and goes.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Violet shook her head. “I'll be fine.”

“Well, let me know.”

“Hey, congratulations on your engagement, by the way. I haven't had a chance to tell you.”

“Thanks.” Cara's entire face lit up.

“You must be excited.”

“I never dreamed I'd get married again. Just goes to show you how things can change.”

Violet couldn't agree more. Here she was, fourteen weeks pregnant. Who'd have guessed? And who'd have guessed her baby's father would be leaving soon without her lifting a finger to stop him.

Should she? Did she even want to? Why hadn't he told her in person? He owed her that much.

Cara jumped to her feet and held out her hand, showing off her new ring. Violet rose slowly, careful of her unpredictable stomach, and leaned in for a closer inspection.

“It's beautiful.”

“I love it,” Cara admitted, on the verge of tears. “We picked it out together. You don't think that's unromantic, do you? Shopping for a ring together?”

“It's wonderfully romantic.” Violet pulled her friend close for a quick hug. “Have you picked a date yet?”

“August twenty-fifth.”

“So soon!”

“Why wait?” A rosy glow colored Cara's cheeks.

Why indeed? “I'm really happy for you,” Violet said. “And I expect to be included in all the wedding activities. Shower. Dress buying. Reception planning.”

“Well, since you brought it up, I'd really like for you to be one of my bridesmaids.”

A knot of pain instantly formed in Violet's chest. Cole would no doubt be in the wedding party, too, as Josh's best man. Could she handle it?

She'd have to find a way. There was no other choice.

Hugging Cara again, she said, “I'd love to be your bridesmaid. As long as you don't mind my big belly showing.”

“Are you kidding? I'm thrilled about your belly.”

“Me, too.”

The knot of pain doubled in size, and Violet fought for control. Her emotions were getting the best of her today. She was delighted for Cara. She was also a tiny bit jealous. Had things gone differently with Cole, she might be getting married, too, and asking Cara to be her bridesmaid.

“You're going to be a wonderful mother.” Cara suddenly became emotional and blinked quickly, as if she might cry. A moment later, her eyes misted.

Violet drew back to gaze at her. “Are you okay?”

“I haven't told anyone.” Cara sniffed. “Swear you won't say a word until Josh and I are ready. I don't want...in case...”

Violet gasped. All at once, she knew. “You're pregnant!”

“Not even a month along. I took the home pregnancy test yesterday and I go to the doctor on Tuesday.”

“Oh, Cara.” Violet was truly pleased for her friend.

“I wasn't sure after Javier died if I could bear having another child.” Her smile was both infectious and heart wrenching. “I haven't been this happy in years.”

“No guilt. You're entitled to all the happiness you can find.”

“You, too, you know.”

Violet shrugged. “I guess it wasn't in the cards. I mean, I am happy. About the baby.” Her own tears threatened to fall. “It's different this time. I'm going to carry to term. I swear I can almost feel the baby growing inside me.”

“Of course you will. And your baby will be gorgeous.”

Would he or she look like Cole, with his incredible blue eyes?

Violet tried to smile. Her mouth, however, refused to cooperate.

“What happened between you and Cole, if you don't mind me asking?” Cara's eyes filled with sympathy. “Did it have to do with your parents?”

“Yes, and his mom. But there's more to it than that. The debacle at dinner...it brought out our worst insecurities, and we let them derail us.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, well, if our relationship had been strong enough to start with, he wouldn't have been scared off so easily.”

“Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think it's more than insecurities.”

“What?” Violet's interest was genuine. She'd had only her own opinions to mull over this past week.

“Come on.” Cara nodded toward the door. “We need some fresh air and sunshine. This place is stuffy.”

Leaving the dusty, dreary shed, they walked toward the stalls where the therapy horses resided. During their stroll, Violet recounted the details of her and Cole's disagreement, trying not to lay the blame at his feet, but fearing she had.

“Can you understand how he feels?” Cara asked. “Much as we loved August, he set a horrible example for Cole and Josh. Their mother, too.” She rolled her eyes. “I still can't believe how selfish she is.”

“She was hurt badly by August,” Violet said. “He had a child with another woman while they were still married.”

“That doesn't give her the right to prejudice her sons against him.”

“No?”

“You're not supporting Miranda?” Cara looked aghast.

“August was wonderful to me. I'll be forever grateful to him. But he was also a first-class jerk to his wife and children. All his children. What he did wasn't fair.” She hadn't realized that until Cole showed her a side of August she hadn't known. “He should have divorced Miranda before taking up with Raquel. And he should have fought harder to maintain a relationship with Cole and Josh. Their anger at him is justified. It's the reason Cole's afraid of making a commitment.”

Violet paused and drew in a breath, her short speech draining her. If only she'd made it up to Cole when she had the chance. If only she'd listened to him instead of constantly defending August. Cole might not be leaving now.

She and Cara stopped in front of a stall and Cara patted a gentle mare called Mama. The horse was one of several examples of how much Cole was needed here.

“I should have been more patient with him,” Violet admitted. “Except patience isn't my strong suit.”

“Don't give up, Violet.” Cara spoke with vehemence. “If you do, you'll be right back where you started. Having a baby alone isn't what you want, I don't care what you say. You love Cole, and he loves you.”

“Not enough.”

Violet had been blind before. She'd refused to see that until Cole let go of his anger at his father, he was incapable of forming a healthy and loving relationship with her or with anyone.

“August tried to make amends in the end,” Cara said in a mournful voice. “That counts for something.”

“It does. He reunited Gabe and Josh. And to a lesser degree, Gabe and Cole.”

Cara faced Violet, a change in her expression. “Have you talked to him lately?”

“No.” Violet mustered her courage. “How is he?”

“You should ask him yourself.”

“When's he leaving?”

“Violet,” Cara said earnestly, “he's not.”

“No?”

“What made you think that?”

Violet couldn't answer right away. The shock had yet to wear off. “His brothers paid him for his share of the ranch. Raquel told me.”

“He didn't take their offer.”

“Why?”

Cara stared at her in astonishment. “I'd think you'd be glad.”

“I...am.”

“Then go talk to him. He's in section four. A few of the young steers escaped the roundup. He's locating them now.”

Violet didn't move.

“What's wrong?”

“I don't know.”

“Violet.” Cara took her by both shoulders. “There's only one reason he refused the offer. You.”

“He feels responsible for the baby.”

“He does. But he wouldn't have to stay to be a responsible father.”

“What do I say to him?”

“You'll think of something on the way.”

When Violet still didn't move, Cara gave her a nudge. “Go on. Get out of here.”

“But I—”

“You have nothing to lose. More importantly, you have a lot to gain.”

She did. Except the last time she'd crawled out on that limb for Cole, she'd fallen off and was still smarting from the hard landing.

“I'm scared,” she admitted.

“Don't let that stop you. You'll regret it for the rest of your life, trust me. I spent too many years playing the what-if game, and it got me nothing but misery. When I finally stopped, my whole life changed.”

She made it sound easy. “What if he says no?”

Cara grinned. “What if he says yes?”

Could she be right? Had Cole turned down his brothers because he wanted to give the two of them a second chance? There was only one way to find out.

Saying goodbye to Cara, Violet hurried to her truck. At the gate leading to the pastures, she turned southwest. Section four lay a mile and a half ahead.

As she drove the narrow and bumpy road, she couldn't shake the sensation she was driving straight into her future, one that included Cole.

* * *

“M
OVE
ALONG
,
SLOWPOKE
.” Cole herded the final reluctant steer toward the livestock trailer.

At the last second, it cut to the right and tried to run. In a flash, Hotshot pivoted, blocking the steer and leaving it no choice but to clamber into the trailer as the four others before him had done.

Dismounting, Cole held the reins in one hand and slammed the trailer door with his other. “We're good to go,” he hollered to Joey, and secured the latch.

The ornery steer bellowed and kicked in protest, making a loud racket. He disliked being forced to ride in an enclosed vehicle, even if it would deliver him to the herd grazing two sections over.

Joey hung his left arm and his head out the driver's side window. “Meet you back at the ranch,” he said, and waved.

Cole watched the truck and trailer pull forward, reluctant to mount Hotshot and ride home. He preferred the solitude of these wide-open spaces after the past few tension-filled weeks.

Between his mother and Vi's parents and all the dissension they'd wreaked; his disagreement with Vi; the arrival of the transport vehicles and the departure of the purchased steers, not to mention the pressure from his brothers to accept or decline their offer, he was tired. More tired than he could ever remember being.

“Let's go home, boy.”

Tossing the reins over Hotshot's neck, he put his boot in the stirrup and swung easily up into the saddle. It was his favorite, the one he'd used most for rodeoing, and it fit him well. Like his hat, the saddle had seen him through many a time, both good and bad. With luck, it would see him through this next phase of his life.

Hotshot needed no directing. Lowering his head, he automatically started toward the ranch at an easy pace.

Cole commended himself yet again for choosing this horse from among hundreds. The gelding had made incredible progress. The same could also be said about the pony Cole was training for Blake Nolan.

During Blake's visit with his kids the day before, he'd complimented Cole on the pony's great strides in such a short time. He'd promised to spread the word and for Cole to expect new clients, along with a bonus. Already Cole had received one referral and been ridiculously pleased.