Heart of Texas Volume One (19 page)

“You were right, Grady,” he said without emotion. “Have been from the first.”

Grady liked the way this conversation had started. With Richard pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, it felt good to be told he was right about something. “How do you mean?”

“About me.”

Grady's smile faded. This wasn't what he wanted to hear, wasn't what he'd expected, either. “In other words, you're the thief Earl Chesterton suspected?”

“No.” His denial was quick. “Not that.”

Grady would have been disappointed had it been the truth. Smith had proved himself a hardworking and talented horseman, probably the best he'd ever hired. He still didn't trust him, though, especially where his sister was concerned, and because of that, Grady had made a point of being difficult, demanding, even unreasonable. Laredo hadn't responded in kind, not once, and in the process had earned Grady's respect.

“You claimed I wasn't good enough for Savannah,” Laredo said bluntly.

Grady frowned. He really didn't like the turn this conversation had taken. “What's going on between you two?” he asked, eyes narrowed.

Laredo ignored the question. “I need a favor.”

“You got it.”

His immediate response appeared to surprise Smith. “You might not be so fast to agree once you hear it involves money.”

Grady sobered; the wrangler was right. “How much?”

“I need a loan. Enough to pay for the repairs on my truck and get me to Oklahoma.”

“Any particular reason you're anxious to be on your way now?”

Smith rested his hands on the saddle horn and averted his face. “I've got my reasons.”

“I don't suppose those reasons have anything to do with my sister?”

“They might.”

“You hurt her, Smith, and you'll regret it.” Grady was torn. On the one hand, Savannah's happiness seemed to depend on this man; on the other, he'd prefer to see Smith leave, get clear away from her. Grady suspected Smith's departure would come too late, that Savannah was already in too deep, emotionally committed to a drifter.

“Why the hell do you think I need that money so damned bad?” Laredo asked savagely. “The sooner I'm out of her life the better. Listen, I don't expect you to give me that loan without collateral. I'll leave the title to my truck with you until I can pay you back. Agreed?”

Grady mulled it over, not the decision to lend Laredo money—he had no problem with that—but why, exactly, Laredo seemed so anxious to leave. He sighed. He wasn't sure if he should interfere in the man's private affairs; he certainly wouldn't have appreciated anyone meddling in his.

“Agreed?” Laredo said again.

“There's another way,” Grady said thoughtfully. Laredo stared at him long and hard before Grady continued. “You could stay here. I'll make you an offer that'll make it worth your while. A partnership—you and me and Savannah. I understand you're interested in breeding quarter horses. You could do that here on the Yellow Rose just as well as Oklahoma.”

Either Laredo was speechless at the offer or he was shocked that Grady knew this much about him and his plans. Grady credited Wiley for the information. His foreman had a loose tongue.

“If you're trying to bribe me into staying, all I can say is you've insulted the finest woman I know.”

“It isn't a bribe,” Grady insisted, damning himself for his inability to say things the way he wanted. “All I'm trying to do is give you another option.” He stopped and boldly met the other man's eyes. “You love my sister, don't you?”

“Loving Savannah doesn't have anything to do with the loan,” Laredo said stiffly. “Look, I have almost nothing to bring to a marriage. Nothing that's
mine,
that I worked for. I can't give her the things she's used to and deserves to have. I won't ask her to give up what she's got here. And a partnership…well, there's no way I could buy into the Yellow Rose, so a partnership is charity, pure and simple. I work for what I get—I don't accept charity.”

Laredo's anger seemed to burn itself out and he said, “That loan. Are you willing to give it to me or not?”

“It's yours if you want it, but—”

“I want it.”

“All right,” Grady said and thrust out his hand. For the very first time he believed in Laredo's sincerity. For the first time he fully accepted that his sister had chosen a man who deserved her love. A man he respected. A man he'd misjudged.

Laredo gripped his hand, and not for the first time Grady noted the intense sadness in his eyes. Grady refused to let go, demanding Laredo's full attention. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Laredo nodded. “I'm sure.”

He rode off with the same urgency with which he'd approached.

Grady frowned, wishing there was something he could do. But he knew that neither Savannah nor Laredo would appreciate his intrusion in their lives. This was between them; they had to work it out themselves—or not.

Bad as he felt for both of them, he could do nothing.

 

L
AREDO NOTED THE NUMBER ON THE
small single-story dwelling in a quiet neighborhood and glanced down at the address on the slip of paper. He was about to commit perhaps the most cowardly act of his life. But what else could he do?

He stepped out of the truck and walked down the narrow path to the front door, a long narrow box tucked under his arm. He hesitated briefly, then rang the doorbell. It didn't take long for someone to answer. Maggie Daniels's eyes lit up in delight when she saw who it was.

“Hi, Laredo!”

Caroline revealed no such pleasure. “What are you doing here?”

He removed his hat. “I need you to do something for me if you would.”

Savannah's friend didn't invite him inside, and it was just as well. He wanted to leave now, immediately. As he'd told Grady, the sooner he was able to put some distance between Savannah and him, the better.

“Come in,” Caroline finally said, unlocking the screen door.

Laredo declined. “Thanks, but this should only take a moment.” He handed her the box. “Would you mind giving this to Savannah for me?”

“You can't do it yourself?”

“No, ma'am.”

She didn't accept the box. “Why not?”

“I don't plan on seeing her again.” Saying the words created a terrible sense of loss. He might be convinced that leaving was for the best, but that didn't make it any easier. He'd gotten the loan from Grady, and after supper Wiley had driven him into town to pick up his truck. He'd said his goodbyes to everyone.

Everyone except Savannah.

Although he called himself every name in the book, he couldn't make himself do it. He couldn't look her in the eye and pretend he didn't love her, and that was the price she'd demand before he left. She'd insist he say it to her face and he wouldn't be able to.

It occurred to him as he drove away from Powell's Garage that this feeling of grief and fear and loss must be similar to what his father had experienced when he left for Vietnam all those years ago.

“Well, if you won't come in, I'll join you on the porch.” Caroline opened the screen door and stepped outside. Maggie, dressed in purple pajamas, followed her mother.

“I'd be much obliged if you'd give this to Savannah for me.” He repeated his request.

Caroline's smile was knowing. “You love her, don't you?”

Laredo couldn't have denied it if he'd tried. “Sometimes love isn't enough.”

“Really.” She crossed her arms and walked to the porch railing and stared into the night sky. “Don't you think Savannah deserves to have you give her that gift yourself?”

“She deserves a great deal more than I can ever give her.”

Caroline turned and faced him, leaning against the railing.

“What's in the package, Mommy?” Maggie asked.

“A gift for Savannah,” her mother answered.

“Can I see?”

Laredo opened the box. As a parting gift and a token of love, it wasn't much, but it was all he could afford. “It's a shawl.” He brought it out to show the little girl.

When Caroline saw the antique white silk threaded with gold strands, she sighed in appreciation. “It's perfect for her.”

He was tempted to smile. He'd realized the same thing when he noticed it in the window of Dovie's shop. Instantly, he'd pictured Savannah sitting on the porch, the shawl wrapped around her shoulders. He'd never thought of himself as romantic, but in some small way he hoped that when she wore it, she'd feel his love. He hoped she'd understand that even though he'd left her, he would always love her.

“I know I'm asking a lot of you,” Laredo said to Caroline.

“No,” she replied. “The one you're asking a lot of is Savannah.”

He recognized the truth of that immediately.

“Like I said,” Caroline went on, “she deserves to have you give her this gift.”

He shook his head. “I can't. Either you do it or I'll mail it.”

Caroline hesitated. “Is there any message to go with it?”

He shook his head. He'd already said more than he'd intended.

“Nothing, Laredo?” Her eyes begged him not to be so cruel.

“Tell her…” His throat felt thick.

“Yes?”

“Tell her thank-you.” He set his hat back on his head and hurried down the walkway.

Maggie tugged at her mother's sleeve. “Where's Laredo going?”

“I don't know, sweetheart. Laredo!” Caroline called to him.

He looked back.

“How'd you manage to pay for the repairs to your truck?”

He stood silent, refusing to answer her.

It didn't take Caroline long to figure it out. “Grady. He lent you the money, didn't he?” She leaped down the porch steps and planted her hands on her hips. “That son of a—” She bit off the last word.

Laredo climbed into his truck and started the engine, desperate to leave before he found an excuse to stay.

“W
HAT DO YOU MEAN
L
AREDO
'
S
gone?” Savannah didn't understand what Caroline was telling her. He'd been on the ranch earlier that day; she'd seen him herself. They'd both made an effort in the past week to pretend their discussion had never taken place. But it had, and her declaration of love stood between them. It was something they could neither forget nor ignore.

Every time Savannah thought about the foolish way she'd exposed her heart, she grew weary with self-recriminations and regret. Her rash behavior had embarrassed them both, yet she realized she probably couldn't have kept silent any longer. She loved Laredo, and hiding her feelings had become increasingly more difficult.

“He asked me to give you this,” Caroline said with a regretful sigh, handing her a rectangular box.

“It's really pretty!” Maggie added enthusiastically.

“You've talked to him?” Savannah said. The pain was immediate. Laredo had left, and instead of coming to her, he'd gone to Caroline. He'd talked to Caroline, but not to her. He'd left without even a goodbye.

“He was on his way out of town when he stopped by and asked if I'd give you this.”

Savannah felt an overwhelming need to sit down. Slowly sinking onto a kitchen chair, she brought her fingers to her mouth to suppress a cry.
Laredo isn't coming back.

“Do you want me to open the box for you, Savannah?” Maggie volunteered, eagerly lifting a corner of the box as she spoke. “It's so pretty and you're going to like it. Mommy did and so did I.”

Caroline restrained her daughter by placing her hand on Maggie's shoulder. “Let Savannah open it when she's ready, okay, sweetheart?”

The child looked disappointed, but she nodded.

Savannah slid her fingers over the top of the box, but lacked the courage to look inside. All her strength went into holding back the tears that burned her eyes.

Laredo was gone. Without a word of farewell, without a note. Nothing. The pain of his leaving had devastated her. But in some odd inexplicable way she understood why he'd left so abruptly.

Laredo Smith
couldn't
say goodbye. He loved her too much to hurt her more. Loved her too much to refuse if she'd asked him to stay. And so he'd done the only thing he could. He'd slipped away like a thief in the night; he'd stolen her heart and taken it with him.

“Savannah, are you all right?”

She nodded even as she felt swallowed up in the emptiness.

Caroline's fingers gripped hers tightly. “I'm so sorry,” she whispered.

Somehow Savannah managed to look at her friend. She could lie and offer reassurances, but she hadn't the strength to maintain a facade. It would be easy enough to fool Grady and Richard, but not Caroline.

“It's a shawl,” Maggie blurted, unable to hold back any longer. “A pretty white one with gold—”

“Maggie,” Caroline snapped.

The little girl lowered her head and bit her lip.

“A shawl… How nice,” Savannah said, struggling. Knowing Maggie was impatient for her to open the gift, she pulled off the lid. The child was right; the shawl was quite possibly the loveliest she'd ever seen. Lifting it from the tissue paper, she let the delicate fabric slide across her fingers. “Was there…did he give you any message for me?”

Caroline hesitated, then said gently, “He wanted me to thank you.”

Her heart was breaking, the pain raw and real, and yet—despite the emotional intensity of the moment—Savannah smiled.

“Thank you.” She repeated his message. This, too, she understood. The simple words held a wealth of meaning and in some ways were more valuable to her than the gift he'd asked Caroline to deliver.

Despite his desertion, Laredo had thanked her for loving him. Even though he'd walked out of her life with the same suddenness with which he'd entered it, he'd wanted Savannah to know her love had touched him. He couldn't say it himself, so he let someone else say it for him.

Caroline's eyes flashed with anger. “I don't understand why he'd do such a thing! He admitted he loved you—he said as much.”

“I know.”

“But when I asked why he was leaving, all he'd say was that sometimes love wasn't enough—whatever the hell that means.” Caroline sat down, then got to her feet again and started pacing.

Savannah didn't try to explain. What Laredo apparently didn't grasp, and what she'd been unable to make him believe, was that his love was the one thing she'd ever need.

He seemed to think a prosperous ranch would make her happy, or a million head of cattle. A luxurious ranch house. A rose garden. Those things gave her security and contentment, true. But Laredo's love gave her happiness, and it gave meaning to everything else in her life. She'd tried to convince him that she'd happily work at his side, that their love would allow them to create a new security and contentment of their own. Why couldn't he believe her?

“Can I go sit on the swing outside?” Maggie asked.

Caroline nodded. “Stay on the porch.”

Maggie assured Caroline she would, and the screen door slammed behind her. Caroline brewed Savannah a cup of strong coffee, then brought it over to the table. “Drink this,” she ordered. “You look pale as a sheet.”

Savannah raised the cup to her lips. Surprisingly the coffee revived her.

Caroline poured herself a cup and sat down next to Savannah. “I know you probably don't want to hear this at the moment, but I'm going to say it, anyway.” She paused long enough to inhale deeply. “Right now, you're hurting too much to believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't know why, but that's the way it seems to work.

“When I discovered I was pregnant with Maggie, I felt as if the world had caved in on me. I was young and stupid and determined not to let a mistake ruin my life. First I thought the father would marry me, but…well, that was impossible. I'd already decided I wanted to have this baby, so I was left to deal with the pregnancy alone.”

In all the years they'd been friends, this was the first time Caroline had discussed anything to do with Maggie's birth. Or Maggie's father.

“When I couldn't hide that I was pregnant any longer, I had to tell my mother. I expected her to be furious, to call me all the names I'd called myself. Instead, Mom asked me a few questions and then held me. We both cried.

“It was what I'd needed most—her love. She talked about how difficult it must have been for me to keep this pain bottled up inside me all those weeks. I didn't want to tell her about Maggie's father, but I did, and how stupid I'd been to think he actually loved me…” Her voice wavered and it was a moment before she could continue. “You see, Savannah,” she whispered with emotion shining in her eyes, “this mistake was really a gift. I made a mistake, but
Maggie's
not a mistake. She's my heart and my joy. I can't imagine life without her.”

The screen door opened just then, and Maggie flew into the room and raced across the kitchen. Breathless, she wrapped her arms around Caroline's leg, hiding her face against her mother's jeans.

Grady followed her inside, looking frustrated and confused.

“What'd you do this time?” Caroline demanded.

“Not a damn thing,” Grady said. “I saw Maggie outside and thought it was time the two of us talked, but it seems she's not ready.”

Maggie clung to her mother's leg all the harder.

“It'd help if you hadn't yelled at her on the phone,” Caroline suggested calmly.

“How was I supposed to know it was Maggie?” he shouted in return.

“He's yelling again,” Maggie surfaced long enough to announce.

“Explain to her that it was all a mistake, would you?” Grady said in a strained voice, gesturing at Maggie. “She's right, I was a beast. But I'm willing to be a prince, too, if she'll give me the chance.”

“You're too mean to be a prince,” Maggie said next. Breaking away from her mother, she climbed into Savannah's lap and locked both arms around her neck. “I don't like Grady 'cause he yells.”

“He's not one of my favorite people, either,” Caroline said, glaring at Savannah's brother.

“What'd I do
now?
” he groaned. “Damn, but it's hard to understand women. I haven't talked to you in days—what could I possibly have done to offend you?”

“You know very well what you've done.”

Clearly perplexed, he shrugged. “I'm afraid you're going to have to tell me because I haven't got a clue.”

“You're lower than a…a worm,” Caroline said.

“So what else is new?” Grady sounded bored.

“Caroline?” Savannah said her friend's name softly, confused by the display of anger. “What did Grady do?”

Still glaring at him, Caroline crossed her long legs. Her foot swung with a furious rhythm. “I wasn't going to tell you,” Caroline said, speaking to Savannah, “but you'll figure it out soon enough. Grady gave Laredo the money so he could pay off the repairs on his truck.”

Savannah felt as if she'd been punched, as if the air had been forced from her lungs. She looked at her brother in shock and pain and disbelief. The abruptness of Laredo's leaving was almost more than she could bear, but knowing that her own
brother,
her own flesh and blood, had made it possible—had no doubt
encouraged
it—was like a knife in the back. She gasped. “Grady?”

“I didn't
give
him the money,” Grady said, and his gaze darted between her and Caroline as if he didn't understand what he'd done that was so wrong. “I
lent
him the money.”

He'd betrayed her.

There was nothing more to say.

Barely aware of what she was doing, Savannah stood and slowly placed one foot in front of the other. Hardly knowing how she'd managed it, she climbed the stairs to her room, dragging herself one step at a time.

“What'd I do that was so terrible?” her brother shouted after her. “Tell me, Savannah! I want to know!”

“Leave her alone,” Caroline said angrily, her voice drifting toward Savannah as she climbed the stairs. “If you can't figure it out, trust me, I'll be happy to fill in the blanks. And you know what? I'll use small words so you'll be sure to understand.”

 

G
RADY DELAYED SPEAKING
to Caroline about Laredo for ten days. He knew he needed to say something—to explain, to talk about Savannah, to ask her advice. He saw her enter the Winn-Dixie one evening and followed her inside. He didn't want Caroline to assume he'd sought her out; he intended her to believe their meeting was accidental.

Taking a cart and maintaining a safe distance behind her, he trailed her into the produce section. Savannah was the one who did all the grocery shopping, and other than picking up a necessary item now and again, he was rarely in the supermarket.

He paused in front of a pyramid display of bright juicy-looking oranges, and with one eye on Caroline and the other on the task at hand, he reached for an orange. To his horror, the entire display collapsed.

Grady saw it happen as if in slow motion. He attempted to catch as many as possible before they tumbled to the floor, his arms moving frantically in every which direction. In the end he abandoned the effort, kneeling on the linoleum floor surrounded by fruit.

Everyone in the produce department stopped and stared at him. Even small children pointed and snickered. Grady smiled weakly and searched for a witty remark, but like everything else these past few weeks, his wit failed him.

He was about to turn tail and run when Caroline squatted down beside him. “This is another fine mess you've created, Grady Weston.”

He didn't need Caroline to tell him that. If he wanted to make a fool of himself, he wouldn't choose to do it in front of half the store. Nope, he preferred to manage that with just one or two onlookers. Like Caroline. And his sister.

Together they gathered the spilled oranges and set them back on the display case. “Is there a reason you followed me in here?” she asked bluntly.

“Was I that obvious.”

“Don't apply to the Secret Service, all right?”

Since it was entirely obvious that running into her hadn't been an accident, he got straight to the point.

“Do you have time for coffee?” he asked, and then because he was afraid she might think he was asking her out, he added, “I'm worried about Savannah. I'd feel better if I talked about this with someone.”

She checked her watch, and Grady had the feeling time wasn't her major concern. “Talked about this with just anyone?” she asked.

“With you,” he amended, burying his pride. He owed Caroline this much.