Heart of the Music (Saints & Sinners #1) (9 page)

If she had to stay in this room for one more minute watching Jarrod flirt with another woman, she was going to lose it. She had debated for more than an hour about what dress to wear tonight, trying to think of what would make Jarrod’s jaw drop, before deciding on a red strapless dress with a crisscross back, which ended above her knee. The dress made her feel sexy and she loved it, but when Jarrod had seen her wearing it and walked away from her, she felt like the smallest person in the world. Watching him flirt with a blonde supermodel, who probably didn’t even know what a hamburger looked like, was making things worse. She finished her drink before deciding her presence was no longer needed.

“Hey, Sam, I’m getting tired, so I’m going to head back to the hotel. I’ll see you in the morning to head to the airport.” She set her empty glass on the table before grabbing her purse.

“Tired, huh?” Sam asked sarcastically, letting her know he knew she was lying.

“Yes, tired.” She didn’t want to get into it with him right then. She didn’t have the energy for another argument about why she was jealous when Jarrod flirted with another woman like she didn’t even exist.

“So you’re not leaving because Jarrod has spent the entire night flirting with that woman?”

She hated how well he could read her, but she couldn’t do this, not tonight. “Nope, I’m just tired.”

“You design your dress for him?” he asked, running his hand down her body without touching her.

“No.” She was dishonest again because she had created this dress for him. She hadn't known if they were going public with their relationship tonight or not, but she wanted to make sure she looked her best. Plus, she wanted to look great for him.

“Really? Because I’ve never seen you wear red in the five years I’ve known you. Not once.”

“Okay, you’re not helping here, Sam. I know the dress wasn’t the right choice, all right? I look ridiculous.” Looking back, she should have just opted for the blue dress she had originally designed specifically for tonight’s event, but she’d wanted to try something different, make Jarrod’s eyes pop, which had turned out to be a really bad idea since he obviously had no plans to go public tonight.

“Is that what you think?”

She let out a breath and her shoulders sank. “Yes, he hasn’t even looked at me all night. This is ridiculous anyway. I’m going home.”

“Trish, he hasn’t been able to stop looking at you since you walked into the room. Why do you think he’s keeping his distance tonight?”

“Who knows, Sam? The supermodels seem to be getting all his attention.” Patricia shrugged off the thought as if it didn’t matter to her, but was doing a shitty job at hiding it.

“The fuck it is, Trish. I’ve known him for years, and let me tell you what I think. The minute he saw you in that dress, he started fighting the urge to mark you so that every man in here would know you were off limits which probably would make the next media cycle and have both of your faces plastered all over the media. The only reason he’s avoiding you is because he knows that seeing you in this dress is testing his self-control in front of a shitload of reporters.”

“All right, that’s it, no more whiskey for you, because you’re losing it. I’m heading back to the hotel. Have fun and behave.” She kissed his cheek and walked to the door, saying her goodbyes to the sponsors, who had thrown this party together for the band. When she walked outside, she tried to hail a cab, but this was just not her night.

“Damn it.” She stomped her feet on the ground like a five-year-old just before she heard someone laughing behind her.

When she turned around, Jarrod was leaning against the wall, and he didn’t look happy. “Leaving without saying goodbye?”

This was the last thing she needed. She was leaving to get away from him. She didn’t want to be on the receiving end of a Jarrod Banks’ flirting session. She wanted to be home drowning her sorrows in a bottle of Jack. “You seemed pretty busy with the blonde and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Is that jealousy in your voice, Patricia Monroe?” He took a few steps away from the wall, but she was determined to stand her ground.

She didn’t move, even when every bone in her body told her to walk away before she did something stupid. “You could have had the decency not to flirt with her in front of me.”

Jarrod

He had seen her watching him all night, and fuck if he didn’t want to find the closest empty room and fuck that jealousy right out of her. She looked like a wet dream in that red dress, and she was pushing every button he had when it came to her. But they hadn’t talked about what they were going to do in public, and the last thing he wanted, was put her in a position she wasn’t ready for.

After their day at the hospital, all he wanted to do was stay at the hotel, spend the night cuddled up with her in bed and watch a movie. He’d been strong-armed into this event, and the rep from the sponsor had apparently decided to force herself on him too. He hated women like her, women who felt entitled to a piece of him just because they brought a lot of money into their tour. Five years ago, he would have played along, but tonight, he wasn’t having any of it. He politely excused himself but not before he caught the flicker of annoyance in Trish’s eyes.

He wished they would have walked the red carpet together and that he had introduced her as his girlfriend. She was so fucking beautiful in that dress. All he wanted to do was show her off, but instead of doing that, he’d acted like a first-class jackass.

“Trish, we didn’t talk about what we were going to do in a public setting. I didn’t want to do something you weren’t ready for, especially in front of the media. I know how you feel about being in the public eye,” he told her as he backed her against the concrete wall, making sure there was no one around.
Thank fucking God for tight security tonight.

“I know that, but seeing her flirt with you pissed me off.” She looked so damn cute. He’d never been one to like jealousy in a woman, but seeing it on Trish, well, it was hot as hell.

“Baby, the second I saw you in that dress, I couldn’t see anyone else. You look so fucking sexy. It’s taken every ounce of self-control I have not to take you for a ride right now. And I didn’t flirt back with her. She flirted with me.” He figured honesty was the best way to go at this point. The last thing he wanted was for her not to trust him.

“I didn’t like what she was doing to you. I know it’s part of the job, and when it’s fans, I can handle it, but she was all over you and what she wanted was pretty clear.” Trish wrapped her arms around his neck, and he took a deep, long breath of relief, knowing he hadn’t screwed this up before they even got started.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, even though he knew he hadn’t done anything wrong. He still fucking hated that this was part of their lives. But he could control how far the interaction with the fans and entitled women went, and that was exactly what he intended to do.

“I need to learn to deal with women like her. Before, it was fine, but now that we’re a thing—we are together, right?—well, it’s just that much harder.” He loved hearing her say they were together.

“Yeah, baby, we’re together. As long as we talk about things like this, we’ll be fine.” This was so new for him, but he would be damned if he wouldn’t do everything he could to make this work.

“Okay, I’m headed back to the hotel.” If she thought she was going back by herself, she had another thing coming.

“I’m coming with you. How about we rent a movie and order pizza?” he asked as he called for a cab.

He wrapped his arms around her, loving how good she felt against him, and when she whispered, “That sounds perfect,” he smiled at how true that statement was.

When they pulled up to the hotel, he noticed a couple of fans waiting in front of the lobby, and as much as he loved his fans, tonight he wasn’t up for it. He asked their driver to pull around to back of the building, smiling at the shocked expression on Trish’s face. “I just don’t feel like being Jarrod Banks tonight.”

“Who do you want to be then?” she asked as the driver opened the door to let them out.

He raised his hand to her cheek, turning her to face him. “Tonight, I just want to be the man lucky enough to spend time with you.” Her smile was radiant, enough to bring him to his knees. He closed the distance between them and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before getting out of the car.

Using the service entry door was probably the oldest trick in the book when you were a public figure, yet it still worked every time. Some of the staff recognized him, but not one of them approached him for autographs or pictures. When they stepped up to the elevator at the back of the lobby, Jarrod pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, loving the feel of her back against his chest.

“Are we good?” he asked just as the elevator doors opened for them.

He followed her inside, pressing for their floor, and when the doors closed, she turned around, mimicking his hold on her by wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his chest through his clothes.

“Yeah, we’re good.” She stayed like this until they made it to their floor, and as much as he wanted to stay with her like this forever, he didn’t want to take any chances that someone would recognize him.

Walking into his hotel room, he took his jacket off and unbuttoned his dress shirt before taking off his pants to change from his dress clothes into a pair of sweatpants. When she lifted the hem of her dress, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She slipped it off the rest of her body and dropped it on the floor. His eyes roamed her body, and all he wanted to do was hold her, feel her against him. But tonight, he needed to show her they were about more than just amazing sex. This was about them, two people who cared about each other and spent quality time together.

He reached for an T-shirt in his luggage and handed it to her. She pulled it over her head, and when it flowed down to the top of her thighs, he decided he liked—no, loved seeing her in his clothes.

“I love wearing your shirts,” she admitted to him shyly.

“Not as much as I love seeing you in one of my shirts.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her against him in a tight hug.

Her body sank into him, releasing the last bit of the day’s tension. “Let’s crawl into bed.”

“Such sweet words. Is the eternal smartass going soft on me?” she teased as she pulled back the covers, but by the flush in her cheeks, he could tell she adored this side of him. Hell, he didn’t even know this side of him existed before her. She made him want to be a better man. She made him want to make sure she always had a reason to smile when she thought of him.

“They might be sweet words, baby, but I mean every single one of them. I wouldn’t trade spending the night here with you for anything in the world. There is no high that compares to what I feel when I’m with you.” Pouring his heart out to her seemed as natural as breathing. She needed to know he wasn’t messing around with her, that he didn’t want other women flirting with him. She was it for him, and letting the words escape felt like a release he’d been waiting on for years.

She crawled into bed with him, and he spread his legs open so she could lean back against him. He didn’t have to convince her to be close to him; her body moved of its own accord. When she settled herself against him, she sighed as he kissed the top of her hair. “My heart beats faster when you say things like that. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jarrod. Losing you would kill me.”

“You never have to worry about me leaving you, because loving you is the reason I breathe,” he whispered to her, and he couldn’t remember a time when he felt more at peace.

Chapter
Six

2 ½ years ago

Patricia

Having more than one day off at a time was a luxury in Patricia’s world, one she cherished. She had woken up bright and early that morning in her own bed, in her own house, taking her time to enjoy the silence and solitude. After grabbing a quick shower, she made herself some breakfast and enjoyed her first cup of coffee of the day on her patio overlooking the lake .

Collecting her pencils and sketchpad from the office, she settled the items on the large wood table on the back porch. When she picked up a pencil and flipped her sketchpad open, she breathed in the fresh air, and with her hair falling over her face, she started sketching.

Being surrounded by five alpha males didn’t leave you with the chance to have too many secrets of your own. But none of the guys knew about her hobby, her passion for designing clothes, and she was okay with that. It was her little piece of heaven that she didn’t have to share with anyone.

“Trish, are you out here?” She jumped at the sound of Jarrod’s voice coming from around the house. She didn’t have a chance to hide what she was doing before he was standing on her porch, wearing jeans and a worn T-shirt, with his guitar case over his shoulder, looking like something you she could just eat up.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Hawaii with what’s her name?” She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face as he laughed before setting his guitar down and pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot at the corner of the table.

“Nah, she flipped out when she realized we would be staying in a small beach hut and not a five star hotel, so I ditched her,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal, but she knew it was. Women had the misconception that because he was a very wealthy man, he lived an extravagant lifestyle, but she knew him better than that. Jarrod loved the simple things in life. It was one of the things that she liked most about him. It wasn’t about fancy cars or expensive trips for him; it was just about enjoying life to its fullest.

“She complained about staying on the beach?” She opted to say instead of asking him if this girl was an idiot. What kind of person said no to a paid vacation on the beach? Sometimes she wondered where he found these women because she sure would not have complained about their accommodations if he would have taken her.

“Yeah, apparently no spa treatments and no maids aren’t that attractive to women,” he told her and she had to laugh.

Jarrod

She mumbled, “Maybe to her,” under her breath, and Jarrod smiled. That was why he’d visited Trish. He knew that with her, life was fucking simple. It wasn’t about private jets or gourmet meals and five star hotels; it was about beers at a dive bar, a beach hut with no utilities, and a day off in a sundress and no make-up.

He sat down beside her and noticed the open sketchpad in front of her with a dress design flowing on the pages. “Did you do this?” He picked up the sketchpad and starting browsing through the pages. How did he not know that one of his closest friends was a wonderful artist? Why did she keep this a secret? Something inside of him ached knowing that there was something about her he didn’t know.

“Yes, I did, but they’re not finished yet, so please give it back.” She tried to grab it from him, but he was quicker than she was and pulled away before she could get her hands on it. There was no way she was getting out of this.

“Trish, these are fantastic! Why didn’t you tell us you were so talented?” How had he missed something so obviously important to her?

“It’s just a hobby, Jarrod. I’m not that good,” she said, holding her pencils in her hand. He didn’t know how she couldn’t see she really talented.

He clutched her shoulders, forcing her to look at him before he told her what was on his mind. “Don’t ever say that. You are super talented. Don’t ever talk down about yourself down like that again. Now since we’re being artistic today, how about I play this beat-up guitar and write a few hits while you do your thing?”

“You want to spend your day off with me?” she asked, sounding surprised that he was with her and not out chasing his next quick lay. She still didn’t get it, nothing beat spending time with her.

“No one I’d rather spend it with.” He kissed the top of her head and grabbed his guitar before settling down for one of the most creative days of his life.

Present Day

Patricia

“Home, sweet home.” She loved being on the road, but there was nothing like home and sleeping in your own bed. The rustic country home had been her first big purchase when the band signed their record deal and she loved it just now as much as she did back then. The moment she had seen it, she had known it was the one. It was secluded enough for her to enjoy the silence of nature, but not too far off the grid to drive her insane. During the summer, she could sit out on her patio looking at the lake and unwinding from all of the craziness of her life.

When the plane landed in Nashville, she hoped Jarrod would invite himself over or ask her over to his place, but instead, he remained silent and gave her a quick kiss before telling her, “See you soon.” Like she was supposed to understand what that meant. Their relationship had changed so much in the last few weeks, and she was beyond happy because she was in love with him, but now being home alone, wondering what he was doing, who he might be doing it with, loneliness clung to her thoughts.

“Just call him, you idiot,” she told herself, sipping on some more wine, but instead of doing what she really wanted, she opened her laptop, checked emails, and finalized a few interview bookings for the next string of tour dates.

When she turned around to take in the beautiful view of the lake, her eyes landed on a picture of her and Jarrod taken two summers back while they hung out on the lake. Jarrod had a beer in one hand and held her close to him with his other arm. He had planted a big kiss on her cheek and Sam had snapped a picture. Her hair was everywhere, and she was make-up free, but that didn’t matter because she loved that picture. It showed the essence of who they were better than she could ever put into words. There was no fuss about their relationship. Spending time with him was as natural as breathing. She never had to pretend she was someone else when they were together, not only because he liked her just the way she was, but because he wouldn’t accept anything that wasn’t genuine from her.

Trying to step out of her head, she opened her fridge to see what she could make for dinner and realized she was either going to have to order in or go to the store if she wanted to eat. She had been so caught up with Jarrod that she had completely forgotten to call her housekeeper to ask her to fill up her fridge for the weekend. She could worry about food later; right now, all she cared about was unwinding and freeing herself from the stress of the last couple of days.

With her glass of wine in hand, Patricia headed toward the living room. It was one of her favorite rooms in the house. It was a large open space with a beautiful fireplace. This room always made her feel Zen. It was the room where she and Jarrod had watched movie after movie, where she and the guys had celebrated birthdays and holidays. This room had so many memories already, but she couldn’t wait to make some new ones.

Jarrod

While Jarrod did the rounds at the grocery store, he couldn’t help but think of Trish’s face when he showed up on her doorstep. When their plane had landed in Nashville, he had simply told her he would see her later. He wanted to surprise her and do something special. He knew her fridge would be empty since they had been running around like crazy lately and he knew she hadn’t had the chance to call her housekeeper, which she probably only realized when she opened her fridge. So after he went home and took a shower, he headed to the grocery store near her house to buy enough food to feed them for the next two days because he had no intention of letting her out of that house. He wanted to be selfish and keep her for himself, and nothing anyone said would change his mind. When he pulled into the parking lot of the local grocery store, his phone rang with his mom’s face flashing on the screen.

“Hi, Mom.” Jarrod loved his mother more than he could ever express. Every good thing he knew about loving someone right came from her. He remembered how supportive she had been when he told her he was dropping out of school to pursue a music career. Not once had she made him feel like he was a disappointment, or that what he was doing was a mistake. She was still his biggest fan.

“Hey, baby, just wanted to make sure you got home okay.” It didn’t matter that he was a grown man nearing thirty; she worried about him just as much now as she did when he was sixteen—a fact she always said he would understand when he had children of his own.

“I landed a couple of hours ago. I just pulled into Gracie’s to grab some groceries before I head out to Trish’s for the weekend.” His mother absolutely loved Trish, and he understood the feeling all too well. He could practically hear his mother smiling. For years, she’d been pushing him to make a move, to stop being such a coward, and now that it was finally happening, he could hear the ‘I told you so’ in her voice.

“Oh, that’s nice. She’s going to love having some company. I should give her a call soon to invite her to dinner next time you guys are in town.” His mom’s voice was filled with joy whenever she talked about him coming home to the house Patricia had helped him pick for his mom. The first things he had done after getting his first big pay check was buy himself and his mom new houses.

“I’m sure she would love that, Mom.” That was the truth. Trish loved his mom just as much as they loved her. She had no family, and they always made an extra effort to make her feel welcomed. He knew they couldn’t imagine not having her around for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.

“Well, now, you just be careful not to break her heart, you hear me, son? That girl has been through enough.” He knew that better than anyone. Everything she’d given up to ensure their dream became a reality weighed on his mind daily. But he had a plan now, and that plan consisted of making her happy for as long as she allowed him. He didn’t care what he had to do to make it happen. He would give her the moon if she asked him. But, he knew that with Trish, the things that made her happy, were the little things. It was one of the things he cherished about her. They could be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and she would happily sit in the grass, watching the stars.

“Don’t worry, Mom. I don’t intend to hurt her.”
I intend to love her until the day I fucking die,
crossed his thoughts. God, the images of her in a white wedding dress and then pregnant with their child crossed his mind as well, and he never wanted to let go of that picture. He loved his mom, and he wanted to have a family of his own, one where he could love his children as much as she had loved him growing up. And he couldn’t imagine doing that with anybody other than Trish.

“Good! Well, you two kids have fun,” his mom said on the other line.

“I love you, Mom.” He missed her. He would make sure he visited her the next time he had a few days off.

“I love you, too, honey.”

He made his way into the store, making sure to grab all of Trish’s favorites. He wanted to do something for her for a change, give her the chance to relax. When he got to the register, he smiled at the woman behind the counter. “Well, won’t you look at what the cat dragged in?” Norma had been working at this store for over twenty years, and it seemed that every time he came by, she was there.

“Norma, you just get more beautiful every time I see you.” He turned on the charm, and with a smirk, he leaned over the counter and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. As Norma, scanned his items, they made small talk about the tour and Jarrod asked about her grandkids.

When she scanned the box of condoms, she looked up at him and smiled. “You two finally decided to stop being idiots, I see.” The old woman smiled at him.

“We’re trying, that’s for sure.” Norma seemed to know everything that happened in this neighborhood.

“Well, it’s about damn time. That girl has been in love with you for years, and you, boy, have been in love with her for just as long. I don’t know why you two waited so damn long!”

“We’re stubborn,” he told her.

Norma took hold of his hand, squeezing it. “Love is a scary thing because it means opening yourself up to the chance of being hurt, but it also means allowing yourself to be truly and wonderfully happy.”

He gave her another quick kiss before heading out, smiling like a kid in a candy store. After the grocery store, he made a quick stop at a little bakery that made Trish’s favorite chocolate cake, then made another stop at the liquor store. He was then all set.

Over the last few weeks, his life had completely changed. He was the happiest he’d ever been. Patricia had a way of bringing the best out in him. It didn’t matter what was going on in his life, the minute he saw her, or heard her voice, all of his worries disappeared. He was in love with her, and he would bet his life that she felt the same way. He wanted to take these two days away from the bus, the fans, the shows, the interviews, and all the craziness of being on the road, and just focus on the two of them.

When he pulled into her driveway, he couldn’t help but feel at home. He’d always loved her house because it felt like a home where you could raise a family in, and he knew that was partly why she had fallen in love with the house the minute she saw it four years earlier. As the car came to a stop, he smiled at the memories of that day when she had asked him to come house shopping with her. Signing those papers had been one of the most important moments of her life, and he’d felt like a lucky bastard that he witnessed it.