Heartless: Episode #3 (4 page)

8.

ELIZABETH

After the meeting ended, I started to think that maybe I wasn’t the type of person who could balance both a relationship and a successful career. Because if this was how adult Elizabeth behaved, it wasn’t going to work.

What happened today could never happen again. Who daydreamed about shower sex in the middle of a presentation with the head of the studio? Then again, who wouldn’t daydream about shower sex with Daniel Alexander?

No
.

Damn it
.

This was the exact problem and issue I’d always wanted to avoid in my life. I needed to refocus.

As I neared Barbara’s desk, her face lit up. “Daniel called. He wanted you to know he misses you.”

My heart fluttered with her words, causing my body to declare war on itself. It was officially on—heart versus brain.

I tried to keep a straight face, acting like I wasn’t affected. “Anyone else?”

“Ben and someone named Kate. She left her number. She sounded odd.”

My breath stammered. “Kate?”

“Yeah, who is she?”

“Ben’s sister,” I said, wondering why in the world Kate was calling me at my place of employment.

“The one Daniel—” Barbara practically shouted.

I cut her off, holding one hand in the air, “Don’t say it, but yes.”

“Well, that’s weird, right?”

“Very.” I turned into my office.

I placed my notes on my desk and stared at the call log online.
Why the hell had Kate called me? And why wouldn’t Ben stop?

Pulling my cell phone out of my purse, I noticed a text from Daniel.

It’s ridiculous how much I miss you.

I stared at it for a full minute before deciding not to respond. For whatever reason, I held Daniel at fault for my daydreaming this morning, and I was pissed at him for it. I wanted someone to blame, and I refused to blame myself.

After putting away my cell, I dialed Ben’s number from my office phone and massaged my temples as it rang.

“Elizabeth, babe!” he shouted into the phone.

“Dear God, I’m not your babe. What do you need, Ben?”

“Aw, don’t be like that. I told you the other night that I thought we should grab dinner. I’d like to see you, for old times’ sake. Please. I want to talk to you about some things.” His voice took on a tone that I hadn’t heard in years. It was the same way he used to talk to me when we’d dated in college and he’d wanted to get his way on something. He sounded like a child, and I wondered how I’d ever found that stupid tone endearing.

“What things exactly?” I pressed, unsure of where he was headed.

“Come on, Elizabeth. Just have dinner with me.”

“I really can’t. I don’t have time. I’m under a production deadline, and I’m going to be at the office late for the next few weeks.”

“I can come there then. For lunch? How about today?”

“Today?” I practically choked on the word as it left my mouth.

“Or tomorrow,” he said.

He clearly wasn’t going away. I glanced at my calendar and noted that I had forty-five minutes free this afternoon.

“Ben, I have thirty minutes free today at one, and that’s it. Come here, and get this over with, or stop calling me. I’ll leave your name with security.”

“I’ll see you at one,” he said before ending the call between us.

I stared at my computer, not having any idea what Ben would want to talk about after all this time. Obviously running into me that night had shifted something in him that it hadn’t done to me. Then again, he was male, and males tended not to really deal with issues right away—at least not in the same respect that females did. We would process things and deal with them immediately before moving on. Guys would only handle their emotions once they were forced to.

Seeing Kate’s name on my call log, I considered calling her for a brief moment, but I decided to wait until after my lunch with Ben. Maybe he would have some insight as to why she was calling me after all this time.
What the hell was it about this family?
One chance encounter after eight years, and they were suddenly blowing up my phone like we were old friends.

My cell phone vibrated inside my purse, and I reached down for it, noting another text from Daniel.

I hope you’re having a great day. I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s fucking horrible. What have you done to me?

I smiled softly before turning off all notifications and setting the phone on top of my desk. Everything he did distracted me. Instead of reading the rest of the script sitting on my desk, all I wanted to do was pick up the phone and hear his voice. It seemed his face filled my mind every time my eyes were open.

It was official. Daniel had ruined me. I had to make it stop.

Between Daniel wrecking my life and waiting for Ben to arrive, I was so twisted up with anxiety that I thought I might fall apart. I wanted to get whatever this was with Ben over with, so I could go back to focusing on work, if that were possible anymore.

“Elizabeth? Ben is downstairs at security.” Barbara’s voice filled my office.

“I’m on my way. I’ll be back before my call with Vancouver.”

“Sounds good. Call me if you need a rescue.” She looked at me, her face serious.

I found Ben waiting by the security podium with his hands in his pockets. His face lit up when he caught sight of me, and I wanted to punch him in the stomach for it. He’d lost the right to light up for me when he went down on my roommate, Kim.

“Thanks for seeing me.” He smiled and moved to give me a hug.

I slowly backed away and shook my head, and he tucked his hands back in his pockets.

“You didn’t really give me a choice. My assistant says you’ve been calling like crazy. What the hell do you want, Ben?”

Eight years of absolute radio silence, and now, he won’t go away.
Not a single word spoken since that day in my living room, but now, he’s standing in front of me at my work as if we were old friends.

“Let’s go somewhere to sit first.” His eyes pleaded with mine.

I started to walk us in the direction of the studio commissary where everyone ate.

Once inside, I grabbed a tray and filled it with food. Ben followed my lead, filling his own tray with a premade sandwich, chips, cookies, and soda, before paying at the register. I led us toward a private dining area that I knew would be mostly vacant. The fact that we were at my place of employment irritated me enough. In case Ben caused some sort of scene, I didn’t want any witnesses.

Opening the heavy wooden doors, I breathed out in relief at the empty space and chose a table near the back of the room. Sitting down, I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, knowing time was running out.

“So, what’s up?” I asked between bites of salad.

“I miss you,” were the first words out of his mouth.

I almost fucking choked. “You miss me? Are you high?”

His hand reached across the table, and I glared at it as I briefly considered stabbing it with my fork before moving my annoyed gaze to his face.

He pulled his hand back. “I know I have no right to you anymore, but seeing you the other night brought back all these feelings and emotions. I never got over you, Elizabeth.”

“You sure seemed to get over me just fine,” I sneered.

“How would you know?”

His face softened, and for a brief moment, I actually considered that he believed his words.

“We haven’t spoken a single word in over eight years, Ben! Eight fucking years! I’m pretty sure you’ve been perfectly over me.”

“You’re mad,” he countered.

I gagged. “You’re insane.”

“Are you over me?”

“Are you serious right now?” My eyes widened with my surprise.

“As a heart attack.”

I wanted to vomit all over his plate when he said those stupid words. He used to say that line all the time in college, and I’d hated it then. Of course he still used it now.

“Ben, I’ve been over you forever. You and I happened a lifetime ago. I don’t even know that girl anymore.”

“That’s not what I’ve heard.”

“What the fuck are you even talking about?” I bristled as my anger started to rise.

“I’ve heard you never got over what I did to you.”

I leaned forward, my elbows resting firmly on the table. “I got over what you did to me years ago. Do you hear me? Is it registering?” I knocked my knuckles against his skull.

“But I heard that I totally fucked you up, that I ruined you.”

A strangled laugh escaped my lips. “I’m sorry, but no
,
you didn’t. It wasn’t about you or what you did or the fact that you cheated on me, fucked my roommate, or any of that. I got over all those things way quicker than I’d anticipated. The only thing that stayed with me were your words. It wasn’t even that it was you who had said them. It was just the fact that they had been said at all. They’d definitely affected me, but as you can see, I’m doing all right in spite of them.” I forced a tight-lipped smile.

“You certainly are. I’m really proud of you, Elizabeth.”

“No. I don’t need you to be proud of me. You don’t get to be proud of me. It feels like you’re somehow taking credit for what I’ve accomplished, and I refuse to give you that.”

He leaned back and ran his fingers through his thinning hair. “I didn’t mean it like that. Shit. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything that happened in the past.”

“Listen, Ben, I needed that apology eight years ago, but I don’t need it anymore. Like you said, it’s in the past.”

“I don’t think it is for me.”

“What are you trying to say?” I asked, truly wondering what the hell he was getting at as my appetite all but disappeared.

He blew out a long breath. “I don’t have closure.”

“You don’t have closure? For what?” I shook my head as confusion spread through me.

“For us. We don’t have closure.”

“Oh.” I paused. “Seriously? You suddenly need closure? I’m closed. We’re closed. We have the most closure you can have. It’s called you-cheated-on-me-by-screwing-my-roommate-on-the-kitchen-table kind of closure. It’s very specific.”

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t think. I mean…” He stumbled on his thoughts. “I’ve thought about you so many times over the years, and I wanted to reach out to you, but I never knew what to say. Then, seeing you the other night with Daniel and seeing how great you look—”

I put up a hand. “You don’t have to do this, okay? We have a history and a past, and it was the first time seeing each other since everything had happened. I guess it’s understandable that some sort of residual feelings might still be there, but you really need to move on.”

“Like you’re doing with Daniel?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“You’re right.”

“Speaking of though”—I took a drink of my iced tea—“do you know why your sister is calling me?”

His face twisted as his eyebrows pinched together. “Kate’s calling you?”

“Apparently.”

“It’s gotta be about Daniel.” His hand moved to cover his mouth.

“I figured as much. Any idea what about exactly?”

“Honestly? No.”

“I should tell you one more thing”—he looked me in the eyes—“while I’m being completely honest.”

“What?” I asked, having no idea what else he could possibly need to tell me.

“It wasn’t an accident that I ran into you guys that night.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been trying to get Daniel to invest in something that I’ve been working on with my associates. He turned it down, but I wanted to try to convince him to give it another shot. I found out where he was having dinner and waited for him to come out.”

I stared at Ben’s face, and I knew he was telling the truth. Ben must have been the person Daniel had told me about that night he was upset outside my apartment. It made perfect sense that Ben wouldn’t be the type to listen. His arrogance had always been his downfall.

While I was lost in my thoughts, Ben continued, “I had no idea he was with you though. I promise. And once I saw you two together, I forgot about why I was there in the first place.”

“You’re not going to ask me to talk to Daniel for you, are you?” I said with a slight grin.

“The thought had crossed my mind,” he admitted.

“You know I won’t do that. If Daniel said no, I’m sure there was a good reason. He’s not an idiot, especially when it comes to good investments.”

I couldn’t help but smile. I found it ironic that, all those years ago, Ben had chastised me for being too driven and invested in my future, but here he was, trying to convince me that he was worthy of the same thing—being invested in.

Glancing at my phone again, I noted the time. “Ben, I’ve gotta get going. I have a meeting. We’re done here, right? This is done? No more phone calls?”

He lowered his head and nodded. “Yeah, we’re done here. I really am sorry for being such a jackass back in college. The things I said to you were wrong.”