Hearts of Ishira (Hearts of Ishira Saga) (38 page)

But she would not let it become love.

She couldn’t afford that.

She would make it very clear to them both.

She firmly ignored the fact that it was probably already too late for her.

Determined to get it over with, she addressed them while they were cooking dinner that night. She perched on the kitchen island’s stool, watching. Hunter kept throwing concerned looks her way. She felt badly for keeping him out of her mind, especially since she’d found it so comforting to have him there. It seemed she knew how to shield, when she really wanted to. Taking a deep breath during a break in the conversation, she went for it.

“Hunter,” she said, her voice shaking a bit, “Jace.”

Something in her tone must have alerted them. They looked at each other, put down what they were working on, and gave her their full attention. She blinked, surprised at the sudden focus. Jace arched an eyebrow at her in question.

“I, um, want to talk to you guys about something.”

“Talk,” Jace said, shrugging as he quickly flipped a piece of meat on the small grill, then gave her his attention again. Hunter’s eyes narrowed on her and she could feel him gently probing her mind for whatever was troubling her. He was growing more frustrated with each minute that passed, that she wouldn’t let him in.

“I…” her voice trailed off. Gathering her courage, she closed her eyes and lowered her head. “I’ve been thinking about it, and…I don’t think it’s a good for you guys to court me.”

Silence. Absolute, total silence. Her fingers wound around each other with tension. She raised her head just enough to peek at them. They both stood there, arms crossed over their chests, patiently waiting for an explanation. She felt her cheeks heat, her hands tingle uncomfortably. God, she hated any sort of confrontation. It made her nauseous.

“It’s just… I really like you both, and I know that we’ve had a bit of fun with flirting and all,” she rambled, blushing at the understatement, “But… I was thinking about it today, and… really, you guys could do so much better than me. I mean, you guys want a family, right?” She didn’t wait for an answer, didn’t even look at them for their response. “And I can’t give that to you. So… What I’m thinking is this: we can have fun. Lots of fun, if you want. For awhile. But no one falls in love, we don’t actually ‘court’, and there’s no talk of the future, since we know there can’t be one.”

No sound other than the sizzle of meat on the grill and the occasional hiss as a pot of diced tubers boiled over. She stole another look at the men. They were still watching her, impassive.

“Come on,” she finally exploded, throwing her arms up, then hissing with pain when the gesture pulled at her ribs. “Crap on a cracker, that hurt! Seriously! You guys want babies, families. You want to carry on your genetic line, which, let’s face it, is really impressive and really should be carried on.” They flashed masculine grins at her for that. She rolled her eyes at them in exasperation. “But I have faulty genes, anyways. You wouldn’t want to add that to your family, even if I could have kids. It would dilute the gene pool. So since you have to procreate, per your own colonization directives I’m not an appropriate candidate for mating.”

She looked down at her hands, fisted together on the counter now, and fought against the aching tightness in her throat. Were they not going to say anything? The silence was killing her.

“Just… we’ll have some fun, get the people integrated, then when you guys are ready to have families, we can part ways. All right?”

She waited, quite awhile, for them to say something. The tension stretched to the snapping point, her body growing tighter and clammier as the minutes passed. When she could take it no longer, she sighed and looked up at them for an answer.

“No,” Jace said.

“Not a chance,” Hunter shook his head.

And just like that, they dismissed her entire argument and went back to cooking dinner. She stared at them, her mouth agape, as they started talking about transplanting some of the smaller herbs together on the balcony, so they could plant a few extra food items, now that they had an extra mouth to feed.

“Did you even listen to what I said?” she demanded after a moment. Jace grinned at her and winked.

“Heard every word,” he assured her. “But it’s not going to happen.”

“We listened,” Hunter added, taking the pot of tubers to the small stone sink to dump off the water. He did so then returned the pot to the stove and added spices to the food. Once that was done, he looked back up at her. “You agreed to let us court you.”

“You’re not even trying to understand, are you?” she asked quietly. They both shook their heads.

“There’s nothing to understand,” Hunter told her, just as softly. “You seem to think that the only reason either of us would want to claim you is to have children. Family is made up of more than that, and I think you are very much aware of that fact.”

She nodded, unable to lie about something like that. Damn him for knowing her heart so well!

“You are a Commander, a natural leader, a Reader. You are smart, witty, talented, creative, and sweeter than any other being I’ve ever known,” Hunter told her, moving to stand in front of her. “Besides that, you possess all the qualities that Jace and I have longed for in a mate. It is disappointing that we will not be able to carry on our genetic line, but that is secondary to being with someone with whom we can truly envision an entire lifetime of… this.” He gestured around the living quarters, then at the island where they were gathered, a family cooking a meal. Ri blinked, bewildered, and looked around as well. Hunter’s fingers gripped her chin gently, forcing her to meet his gaze. “
You
are what we want, not the babes. Because all of your arguments center around procreation, your entire argument is invalid.”

“What he said,” Jace put in, nodding toward his brother as he chewed on a piece of tuber he’d snatched from the pot. “I’d love to have babies with you, and if medical technology can make that happen, you can bet I’ll make it so. But that’s not why I wanted to court you. I’ve known from day one that you couldn’t have children.”

“Then… why?” Arianna asked, her voice small and confused. She was so lost. This was not how she’d envisioned this conversation.

Jace rolled his eyes, came around the counter, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her until her head swam and her toes curled around the rung of the stool.

“That’s why,” he whispered, his lips against hers. “Because no woman, in over fifty-seven years, has made me this hot, this hard, or intrigued me as much as you.”

Before she could answer, Hunter spun her stool around and followed suit, scooping her up into his arms and kissing her until she could no longer hold her head up. When he was done, he rested his forehead against hers. With her defenses down, he was finally able to feel her turmoil, see how much she’d put herself through that day, dreading this confrontation, and how much she already cared about them both.

“Because, little warrior, you are,” he breathed, holding her close, “The most incredible soul I’ve ever known, and I think it will take an entire lifetime to know and understand everything you are.”

He set her back on the stool, moved to take the meat off the grill, and started dishing up their dinner. “Now let’s eat.”

In his mind, and in Jace’s, that was the end of it. But Ri worried long into the night, keeping her thoughts from Hunter, thinking about everything they’d said.

What was she going to do, when they found out just how broken she really was?

The shock of the group memory had an unexpected effect: the women who had been more reticent about mingling with the men were suddenly much less afraid of their alien rescuers. They had experienced just how tender and worried the men could be. Even though the girls had been, once again, completely vulnerable during those moments, the men were far more concerned with their welfare than taking advantage of them. The warriors had attended to them in teams again, as they seemed to do everything. As before, they had been respectful and gentle, helping the women through the ordeal, then letting the girls tell their tales.

The warriors that had already bonded a bit with ‘their’ women had immediately sought out that girl to tend to her. Affections were growing between the groups of men and the women they had become friends with, and after seeing how sweet the men were with those girls, the shyer Earthlings had finally realized that the Thorsani did not intend to mistreat them any time soon.

So now those remaining women that had mostly been hanging around the edges of the courtyard and showing a bit of interest but not talking to the men, were venturing out more eagerly, seeking out the warriors that had tended them and finally engaging them in conversation. Everyone was trying to understand one another, but it helped the process along that they were actually communicating now. The women who’d already been working toward creating friendships had ended up deepening those bonds. Most of the women now had functioning translators, which was wonderful.

The men were thrilled by this. At long last, the more reticent women were getting there.

Arianna watched it all from the balcony or heard from Hunter and Jace throughout the following day. At complete odds with her thoughts of keeping her distance from them, she was still a bit perturbed that they’d both worked so hard to turn her on before and after her bath, then had pulled back, claiming that they didn’t wish to hurt her.

Hurt her? They were killing her! Jace was a doctor, for Pete’s sake! He should
know
the physical dangers for a woman with too much pent-up sexual frustration. She wasn’t sure what those dangers might be, but being left in this constant state of unfulfilled arousal couldn’t possibly be healthy for her.

She had practically snarled at Jace this morning when he’d kissed her awake so sweetly and then insisted that he help her get ready for the day. He took his time inspecting her ribs and making ‘absolutely certain’ that she was okay. His hands and mouth did most of the work. As a result, she was now restless, hot, and so ready to have him –either of them, really-inside her, she was practically crying with frustration.

Fortunately, just when she was about to go find one of them and see about seducing them, bum leg or no, Hunter showed up with a bolt of cloth in one arm and what appeared to be a small tool box in the other. Welcoming any distraction from the wicked thoughts that had plagued her all morning, Arianna forced her libido to the time-out corner of her mind and asked him what was in the box.

With a grin of anticipation, he dropped the bolt of cloth on the low table in the sitting area and beckoned her closer. She sat forward as he knelt and opened the box. She gasped in delight. It was a sewing box! Aside from a sewing machine, it seemed to have everything she might need for sewing just about anything. She gazed longingly at the bolt of material, waiting for him to give her a clue of what he expected her to do with it all. Sewing new clothes would be the perfect distraction, something that could keep her occupied for hours and hours.

“I thought you and the women might wish to make your own clothing,” he suggested softly, then wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Not that I wish you to cover up those glorious curves of yours,” he added hastily, chuckling when she blushed, “But having you and your ladies running around in the short medical gowns and borrowed tunics is creating a problem with the men.”

Arianna couldn’t stop the giggle that bubbled up at the thought of the big, strong, stoic warriors being brought to their knees by the tiny, young Earth women. Hunter gave her an arch look.

“You find this funny?” he asked, though he knew the answer. She nodded and chuckled.

“Your men are so big, brawny, and sexy,” she informed him. “It’s just hard to imagine that my sweet little girls are causing them problems of any kind.”

“Only some of your
little girls
are sweet,” Hunter muttered, “But they are all wreaking havoc, now that they are able to mingle with the men and flirt. We must figure out how to clothe them, and quickly, before someone gets hurt.”

Arianna sobered instantly, stiffening.

“Are you saying that my women might be in danger of assault from your men?” she asked icily. Hunter stared at her, bewildered until he sensed what she was saying. Then he flushed in anger.

“My men would never do such a heinous thing!” he assured her in a low, intense voice. “The penalty for such a crime is death, with the offending body part being removed first. Without anesthesia.”

Arianna felt his fervent abhorrence of rape and knew that he was serious. Reassured, she relaxed and sat back.

“I’m sorry,” she said, meaning it. “It’s just that, on Earth, a lot of cultures still blame the woman if she is raped.”

“Rape only happens when a man is very sick in the head,” Hunter growled. “We do not allow such men to be out in the general population. When such crimes occur, punishment is swift and public, and the executioners are the woman’s protectors or family. Believe me when I tell you that no council or jailer could possibly inflict more pain on such men, as those who love the woman that has been so basely violated.”

“I like that,” Arianna told him intently. She shuddered at the memory of her own experience, but tamped it down, not wanting Hunter to pick up on it. The last thing she wanted was his pity. There were certain things in her past that she did not wish to discuss with anyone, ever, and that was one of them. Recovery had taken several years, but she had moved on, and she didn’t feel the need to disclose the experience now. She felt his concern and his mental probing, but she blocked him with the little bit of wall she’d learned to build in her head yesterday. He was frustrated at her tactics, but he respected her too much to force the issue.