Heaven Sent (6 page)

from my crouching position. Aiden

hands the towel to me and helps me out

once I’m wrapped up. I’m very unsteady

and I have to rely on him completely to

get me to the bed. He leaves me on the

edge with the t-shirt and shorts. He

leaves the room and closes the door to

give me privacy. I feel so numb.

I stand to pull on my shorts and

catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My

flesh is red and blotchy, but

somehow my face looks pale. I rotate

each wrist and begin to realize how

much pain he caused me.

“Ivy. Are you done?” Aiden

opens the door and I look at his face

through the reflection in the mirror. He

looks at me with hurt, anger, disgust, but

the worst is pity.

“Don't look at me. Leave me

alone.” I bow my head and try to cover

myself.

“I'm not leaving you. Now get

your clothes on.” He turns his back to

me.

I pull on his t-shirt and shorts.

Everything is extremely baggy and I feel

slouchy. Can I possibly have any more

emotions?

“Ok. I'm done.” I stand there until

he reaches me and guides me to the bed.

H e pulls back his comforter and sheet

and then urges me to climb in. He tucks

the covers over me and lies down on the

floor right beside me.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm trying to be here for you and

not cross any lines.” He sits up on the

floor and faces me. My face is on the

pillow at the same level of his.

“Thank you.” Tears begin to slip

out again. I don’t have the energy to sob

anymore, but it doesn’t take much to let

the tear drops fall.

“I wish you would let me call

Eaven.”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it.

Just let me be.”

“I will be here for you the entire

night. Just let me know if you need me.

Pretend that I am not here.”

I roll over to face the opposite

direction and the tears flow even

harder. I start to have flash backs of

Dylan forcing himself on me. This

causes me to breathe heavy and I begin

to hyperventilate. I feel like everything

is closing in on me. I quickly sit up in

the bed and try to catch my breath.

Aiden moves in behind me and slowly

grabs my shoulders in a hug. I cringe

when he surrounds me. I struggle for

him to release me when he says, “Shhh

Ivy. I won't let him near you, I

promise.”

I close my eyes and focus on

breathing.

“You are safe. I will make sure of

it.” I want to feel safe in his arms. I

know deep down that I am, but my heart

is craving another set of arms to shield

me. He guides me to lie back in the bed

and I finally succumb to the exhaustion

of this night.

I wake up alone in the bed and I

still feel an overwhelming numbness. I

don’t think I have any tears left to cry

after last night. I move to get out of bed

and find Aiden on the floor by my side.

This guy is so great. How come I can’t

force myself to fall for someone like

him?

You can’t help who you fall for.

All you can do is try to recover from the

crash of the fall if they aren’t there to

catch you. I need to talk to Eaven this

morning. I don’t want her going to our

apartment and worrying about me. I

reach for my phone and see a missed call

from her. I quickly send her a text.

Ivy: I’m at Aiden’s. Don’t go to the

apartment. Where are you?

Eaven: At Talon’s. What’s wrong?

Ivy: I’ll be there to talk to you soon.

Eaven: WTH is going on?

Ivy: I’ll talk to you when I get there.

I roll over to the opposite side so I

can step out of bed without disturbing

Aiden. I pass the mirror on my way to

the bathroom and stop to see the empty

girl staring back at me. Her face looks

sad and swollen. Her cheek is turning

ugly colors and her hair is terrible.

I reach to brush my fingers over

her cheek, stopping when my fingers

smear prints on the mirror. I startle as I

hear Aiden stir. I turn to see him

watching me.

I make my way to the bathroom

and try to pretend to care what I look

like today. I decide another shower is

needed. The memory of last night’s

shower comes to mind and I force myself

to breathe through the initial heart rate

increase. I find a trial size bottle of

shampoo in a drawer that doesn’t smell

like man and attempt to scrub myself

clean. I really need conditioner for my

hair, but I will make do with what I

have. I let the water run over my

shoulders and relax my sore muscles.

I turn off the water and stop myself

before I open the door. I decide in that

moment that I have to be stronger than

this. I will not be a victim. I decide that

when I slide this door open, I will be

moving on. I won’t live in the past. I

have done this before with my mother. I

just close the awful door and walk

through a new one. It’s simple. Or so I

tell myself. Taking a deep breath, I slide

the shower door open. I notice the cool

air brush across my skin and welcome

the refreshing feeling of it.

I find a clip of Macy’s and opt for

the slouchy look over trying to fight these

knots. I put Aiden’s clothes back on and

toss mine from last night in the trash. I

know I wasn’t wearing them at the time,

but I don’t want anything to remind me of

last night.

Aiden is waiting by the door for

the bathroom when I walk out.

“Good morning! Thanks for letting

me stay last night. I really appreciate

everything. I’m going to meet up with

Eaven.” I smile at him and start for the

bedroom door.

“Don’t you need a ride?”

“I guess I do.” I can’t even think

straight. I am trying to act tough and

over it and my mind is a mess.

“Let me shower and I will take

you.” He leaves me in the room alone. I

force my mind to think about something

pleasant. I immediately think of Taron,

so I grab my phone to send him a text.

Ivy: How is the bus ride? Miss you already.

Taron: Really??

Ivy: Yes

Taron: You’re a piece of work

Ivy: What?

Taron: Really?

Ivy: Yes, did I stutter?

Taron: No you were very clear.

Ivy: Is this you talking to me every day?

Taron: Beginning quote “““““““I DON’T

SHARE”““““““ Fucking end quote

Ivy: Ok?

Taron: I’m done. Text cowboy.

~Five~

Taron

I must have fallen asleep sometime

shortly after we left. I wake to the sound

of nothing. The bus isn't moving. I don’t

hear voices. Nothing.

I roll over and grab my phone. I

manage to take a piss in the smallest

bathroom ever made, and grab some pain

reliever for my splitting headache. I

stumble out the door to see a big ass

Texan eating a hamburger on a

billboard. Shit. What I need is a big

fucking cowboy to piss me off.

I slam the door and go inside. I

find them all at a table and they stare at

me wide eyed as I pull up a chair.

“What?” I ask them. I shrug my

shoulders and steal a potato from Lilly's

plate when none of them answer. I don’t

care what they think.

“So, what has your ass on cloud

nine?” Talon is the only one brave

enough to ask.

“I don’t know what you mean. I'm

good. It's all fucking good.”

“Sure it is.”

“Can you just drop it? It will all

be great when we go on tomorrow night.

I'm ready to be in the spotlight again. I

need some action.”

I order a steak and eat everything

in sight. I always eat and drink a ton the

day after I get drunk. Some people can't

function the next day. I am just a

bottomless pit.

I finally get my fill and we load up

again. I pull out my phone when it starts

to vibrate. I can see that it isn't a name

that I have programmed so I let it go to

voice mail.

Once the message is received, I

listen to it.

“Hey, Taron! It's Emily. I can't

wait to hang with you tomorrow night. I

just thought I would see when you’ll be

here. Maybe we can hook up before the

concert. Call me if you want to. I'll see

you soon.”

I’m sure Emily will be waiting for

me when we arrive. I tuck my phone in

my pocket and mentally plan to call her

when we check in to the hotel. We pull

back on the highway and continue the

longest ride in history.

I head back to the same bed that I

crashed in earlier with the plan to do it

again. This is the longest fucking drive

of my life. I want to sleep this shit off.

I lie awake as the bus burns up the

miles. I can’t seem to shake off the

memories of Ivy. I am just so pissed at

myself for thinking that we were going to

try

a

relationship together. This

probably works out best anyway. I can

live up to my reputation and just hook up

every night. No strings. No

commitments. No worries. I just hope I

can get her out of my head.

I feel my phone vibrate again. It's

Ivy texting.

I like how she has the nerve to act

like everything is perfect. I can't deal

w ith her right now. I was an idiot to

think we could be more than a great fuck.

A great fuck is an understatement.

She has my mind going all different

directions. I want to feel numb about her

like I do any other girl that climbs out of

my bed. Hell, some never make it to my

bed at all.

It is much easier when you don’t

have the complications. Just walk away

after the deed is done. Walk. The. Fuck.

Away.

I can't sleep so I make my way to

the front of the bus and find everyone

else crashed. I make a beeline to the

alcohol at Luke's feet and take it back to

the room with me. I swallow and feel

the burn all the way down. It was much

easier to deal with this shit when I was

drunk. I hear my phone again, this time I

decide to answer it.

“What?” My irritation is obvious.

“Why are you being an ass?” She

sounds pissed off at me. Ivy has no right

to be pissed at me.

“Why are you being a bitch?”

This silences her. What, she doesn’t

have a come back? She always has

something to say.

“What, Ivy? Why did you call

me? What more can I do for you?”

“I just needed to hear you.” I can

hear hurt in her voice. Why is she doing

this?

“Now you’ve heard me. What

else do you want?”

“Nothing, Taron. I don’t want

anything from you. I just want you to be

happy.” I almost didn’t hear her. She is

talking so quietly. Where is the feisty

girl I know?

“I was happy, Ivy. You made me

the happiest guy just as fast as you turned

me into the fucking angriest. I can't let

you control my emotions like this. If you

want to play games, find someone else.”

“Taron, I didn’t mean to hurt you.

There is nothing going on with me and

anyone else. Aiden is just a friend.”

“I saw you, Ivy.”

“It's not what it looked like.”

“So he wasn’t holding you naked

in his arms? You weren't holding him

back? He wasn’t in your bedroom after

we fucked on every possible surface in

that room?”

“Yes, but nothing happened.” Her

words are barely a whisper through her

tears.

“Enough happened. Why would

you let him in your room after

everything?”

The other end goes completely

silent. I can hear her crying. I close my

eyes and listen to the most confusing