Heavy Issues (22 page)

He refused to think about the tight feeling he got in his gut every time he looked at her. Every time he thought of her, actually. The fact that his chest clutched up and his heart tumbled whenever she reached for him, he was going to ignore too.

They sat there in silence for a while. It didn’t feel uncomfortable; it felt…right.

“Cole?”

“Mmm?”

“Your aunt invited me to a barbecue this Sunday. At your dad’s place. I tried to decline, but it didn’t work too well.”

Sure it didn’t work. It was a miracle Aunt Maggie had taken this long to butt in.

“I’d understand if you don’t want me to go,” she continued. “I can become suddenly ill, get bedridden.”

He laughed. “And you truly believe that would save you? Unless you can fake a fatal disease, you better give up right now and spare yourself the pain. Aunt Maggie is stubborn that way.”

She lifted her face, her expression fierce. “I bet she is, and I don’t want to be disrespectful, but to me it doesn’t matter so much what your aunt wants. I want to know what you want. I don’t want to put you in an awkward position.”

He paused. What did he want? How did he feel about having her at the barbecue? He never took anyone to the family events. But he looked at those witch eyes, now watching him with uncertainty, and the answer was plain obvious to him.

“Come to the barbecue,” he said, cupping her face, caressing her bottom lip with his thumb. “But be ready for the third degree.”

* * * *

“You know, I’ve overseen extremely complicated demolition projects overseas that have taken less time than this trip to the supermarket,” Cole said while standing in the middle of the grocery store, a frown marring his handsome face.

Christy laughed. “This was your idea, remember? You wanted to know what I usually eat.”

“I had no clue about the magnitude of the whole enterprise. I’m growing old here, Christy.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s because you’re fishing, Cole. If you stick to my aisles, we’ll go faster, mister,” she said, striding away to get the milk while Cole followed, carrying the basket with groceries.

In spite of having to read almost all the product labels in this place to convince him of why she couldn’t eat what he suggested, shopping with Cole was fun. She’d never shared this part of her life with anyone so openly. It was…exhilarating. And terrifying at the same time.

Her relationship with Cole was fast developing into something else. Yesterday she’d realized something she was sure very few people outside his inner circle knew—Cole’s thick skin was a defense mechanism. He’d been badly hurt by the very woman who should have loved him unconditionally, and he was still nursing that hurt. No wonder that with his mistrust of women and his need for control, he was just ensuring he always ended up on top. In spite of understanding the futility of getting close to someone as unavailable and closed off as Cole, the more she got to know him, the more she liked him. Which really wasn’t smart.

As she bent to pick up the milk, she felt Cole’s eyes on her like heatstroke. Still bent, she turned to look at him. “What?”

He came closer and grabbed her by her hips. “Just enjoying the view, babe.”

She turned around, amused.

Cupping her nape, he brought his lips to her and kissed her gently. “You’re so gorgeous you take my breath away.”

“I’m n—”

Before she could react, he swatted her ass, a low, pissed growl escaping him.

“Ouch! What the—”

“I warned you, babe.”

“You’re taking this too seriously.”

He kissed the ever-loving shit out of her while his hand soothed the cheek he’d slapped.

“You will learn to take compliments well. To smile and say thanks.”

“You know me thanking you doesn’t mean I agree with you, right?”

“We’ll get you there, baby.”

“I somehow doubt it,” she mumbled, trying to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t have it.

“Why? Why is it so difficult for you to see yourself the way I see you?”

“Some days are bad, Cole. Some days I just feel…fat.”

He laughed. “Bullshit. First, because you aren’t fat, and second, because fat is not a feeling. You can feel sad or lonely, but you can’t feel fat. It’s an impossibility.”

“I know, but for years the only thing I could feel was hunger. Which, by the way, isn’t even an emotion.”

There was no place for feelings when you were in survival mode, so she’d spent all her life bottling them up. When she’d stopped overeating, though, feelings had burst out of her, and she discovered she had no skills to deal with them. She’d been so sensitive she cried her eyes out at dog food commercials. Thank God she’d had Lora helping her sort all that out.

“And now?”

She chuckled. “Now? Now I’m personally acquainted with all sorts of emotions.” And at this very moment, seeing how the lady at the meat counter was eating Cole with her eyes, one of them—jealousy—was taking front and center.

“Good morning, Cole. May I get you something?”

“No thanks, another day,” he said with a distracted smile and without really looking at the clerk. Then he flung his arm around Christy and steered her toward the cashiers. Cole hadn’t noticed the woman’s flirting, or if he had, he’d chosen to ignore her. Christy felt a huge relief and an unstoppable desire to stick out her tongue and shout,
You see? He’s mine. Back off, bitch!

She froze.
Mine?
Where the hell had that come from?

Oh God! Was she nuts?

She needed to keep her wits and remember her rent-a-girlfriend status.

For some reason the bakery aisle began talking to her.

* * * *

They’d barely managed to cross the Bowens’ threshold before Aunt Maggie was interrogating Christy. She’d been unnaturally quiet about Cole’s relationship with Christy, giving him space and not prying. She was done with that now.

She started with the innocuous “how do you like it in Alden” questions but soon graduated into the “do you like kids” big leagues.

The third degree didn’t stop while they were eating, but Christy seemed to be doing fine with it. She smiled a lot and masterfully dodged all the loaded questions about what she was or wasn’t going to do with her future. She also masterfully dodged all of Aunt Maggie’s attempts to get her to try the assorted casseroles and the deep-fried specialties—for a while at least. Then it seemed the constant bombardment was taking a toll on Christy, because she began to appear nervous and uncomfortable, a cornered look in her beautiful eyes.

Using the first excuse he could come up with, Cole took her away from the rest and into the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

She waved her hand around and shook her head.

He came closer and cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. “Are they bothering you with their questions?”

Her pulse beat madly against his skin. “No, it’s not that. It’s the food, Cole. There is so much of it. All around. And they don’t stop offering. I’m running out of excuses. I’m just…I don’t know. Feeling a bit overwhelmed.”

Aunt Maggie had taken into consideration Christy’s food restrictions, but as always she’d gone overboard, and there was an insane amount of stuff being served.

He brushed her cheeks softly. “Just calm down, sweet thing. Do you want us to leave?”

She shook her head, but her pleading eyes weren’t too reassuring.

He’d have to talk to his aunt at the earliest opportunity and put a stop to all the offering, but first he had an anxious woman in his arms who needed soothing.

He took her mouth gently, nipping her lips, brushing his tongue along the seam until she relaxed and opened for him. Then he kissed her deeper, with all he had in him. And he lost himself in her, like always. When he pulled away, she wasn’t twitchy anymore, but she lay boneless against him. He, on the other hand, was wrought tight.

Cole drew in a calming breath and pressed his forehead against hers. “You’re going to be fine, baby. Don’t worry. I have your back.”

For the rest of the meal Cole felt like a linebacker, trying his damnedest to block all the food coming Christy’s way without raising any questions. The food that Christy didn’t manage to dodge, he playfully stole from her plate. By the end of it he was stuffed, but it was all worth it, because she looked content and at ease.

After they all cleared the table and took care of the dishes, the women wandered off.

“This thing between you and Christy, this casual dating, is advancing,” Max commented as they sat in the garden.

Cole was going to keep his mouth shut. Besides, anything he said would be used against him. Proof enough was all the shit he was taking from everyone in his family about his “butchered” marriage proposal.

He watched Tate and Christy on the porch, animatedly talking about something. She wore a short floral dress he couldn’t wait to get off her. As if sensing his gaze, she turned to him and, smiling, winked at him. His heart skipped a beat.

“Casual dating my ass,” James stated.

Cole reluctantly moved his gaze away from Christy. His brothers were both smirking.

He was definitely sitting that one out.

He could tell them this was just decoy dates, just sex, but he had the nagging feeling he’d be lying. He loved fucking her, true. Watching her come and knowing he was the one giving her all that pleasure gave him a rush like he’d never experienced before—ever, but that was not all. He felt very comfortable with Christy, so much so that most times he forgot they weren’t in a real relationship. He liked spending time with her. Liked waking up with her. He tried to keep his distance, but every morning he woke up with her in his arms as if he’d reached for her in his sleep and refused to let go. Fucking worrying. So much so he preferred not to think about it, let alone say it out loud.

Unfortunately his brothers didn’t need his input to kick up a conversation about his relationship with Christy.

“She’s sleeping at his place almost every night,” James told Max.

A slack-jawed Max stared at him and then turned to James. “He’s letting her stay at his place?” James nodded. “Wow. You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

It looked like moving to live two houses from James’s hadn’t been his smartest move.

“Guys…”

Max ignored him. “Are we talking about the same asshole that breaks into a sweat just thinking about doing anything domestic with a woman?”

“You bet, my man. He’s worm meat. Totally whipped.”

As Max was getting ready to start drilling him, Aunt Maggie came closer, a box in her hands.

Trivial Pursuit time.

“Let’s play,” she said, opening the box and setting the board on the table.

Max and James groaned in dismay.

“Do we have to?” Cole muttered. Why couldn’t his aunt be a fan of sewing or knitting, something she could do by herself, instead of making the whole family suffer through this Trivial Pursuit thing every time they gathered?

“I’ll go get some lemonade,” Tate said. She was new to the family, and she was still quite enthusiastic about the game. “Let’s put on some music,” she added from the porch.

“Sure,” Christy said, reaching for the radio.

Oh, no no. Cole grabbed her and brought her onto his lap. “I don’t think so, babe.” His brothers looked at him. “Unless you want to end up with a hell of a headache, don’t let her near the radio.”

Christy laughed and squirmed on his lap. Fuck, his cock was getting hard.

He’d been a bit worried that having Christy there would feel somehow weird, but it hadn’t. She fit in perfectly—effortlessly. For some reason she’d seemed reticent to come at first, blabbing something about this being a private thing. Muttering about aisles talking to her, whatever the hell that meant. Instead of feeling relieved she was bailing on him, he’d refused to even hear about it and had all but dragged her with him.

As always the game led to staying for supper, and Cole took his aunt aside.

“Please don’t push food on Christy. It makes her uncomfortable.”

She cocked her head. “You really like this girl, don’t you?”

Yes, he did. Too much probably. God fucking only knew what his aunt must have seen in his face, because she threw herself at him, eyes shiny, hugging him and smooching him, which freaked the fuck out of him.

Supper went much smoother though.

After supper they decided to leave. As they were saying their good-byes, Cole thought he saw Aunt Maggie saying something in Christy’s ear. She seemed a bit distant after that, withdrawn, and he didn’t like it.

“I…hmm…have to go home tonight. I’m babysitting my neighbor’s cat.”

He waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “Am I invited over?”

She avoided looking up to him and took some time to answer. “Do you want to?”

Fuck yes.

He’d spent the whole day with her, and the whole day before that, and he hadn’t had enough. Hell, he wasn’t sure he’d ever have enough of her.

Boy, he was in deep trouble.

He decided to lighten the mood. “It depends. Do you have food to feed me there?”

She looked shocked. “Good God, are you still hungry?”

“I will be in the morning. You can’t expect me to perform at top level without fuel. And I don’t mean sugarless yogurt and fruits. I mean eggs and meat. Coffee. Pancakes.”

She choked out a snort. “You’re pushing it, buddy. You’ll get eggs and meat. Coffee I think I may have. Pancakes, no way in hell.”

He kissed her, happy he’d gotten her out of her sudden funk. He didn’t like her quiet and reserved with him. “Lead the way, love.”

As he was pulling away, she brought his lips down to hers, sweetly kissing him.

“Thanks for running interference for me at the table.”

Damn if her smile didn’t make him feel ten feet tall. “I was good, wasn’t I?”

“A total pro. Thanks for your patience. I know it might look picky the way I behave with food, but—”

“Shut up,” he said, kissing her again. He didn’t understand it, but if it was important to her, then it was important, period. All that hassle was well worth her relaxed smile.

“I don’t care about the food restrictions.” He did love to eat, but at the end of the day, food was just fuel for his body. Irrelevant in the big scheme of things. A nonissue. Christy’s screwed body image, on the other hand, bothered him immensely. Not up to standards, she’d said. She truly believed there was something wrong with her. Crazy.