Held (Gone #2) (21 page)

Chad stood there, listening to Alex breathe. He hadn't done that since the kids were little. His heart ached, wishing he could run down the hall and check on his little girl. Blinking back tears, he leaned over and kissed Alex on the forehead.

He had mixed feelings about Alex posting the diary entries, especially since Chad was the one who would have to do damage control, but he couldn't be mad at Alex for standing up for his sister. When things calmed down, he would have to talk with him about discretion.

He couldn't blame Alex though. Those kids at school had been horrible. What else had Macy gone through? Those entries had to only be a snippet of the whole picture. Chad scanned the messy, darkened room for the diary, but couldn't find anything.

Chad sat in Alex's chair. Why hadn't he spent more time trying to figure out
why
Macy had done the things she had done? If he had asked her why she had wanted to go vegan, would she have opened up to him? Could he have helped her? Would she have avoided looking for love on the internet?

If he would have had any inkling of what she had been going through, things might have turned out differently. He knew it was useless looking back, thinking of what he could have done to change things. There was no going back.

He would have been a better dad—to both of them. And a better husband for that matter. But he couldn't do anything about that now. When Alex got up, he would ask him questions, and even more importantly, he would listen, really listen.

Looking over at Alex, he knew that would be a while. The kid had probably been up half the night, reading and posting. At least he was home, safe and sound. He was where they could take care of him.

Chad's heart swelled, watching his son sleep. At least he had a second chance. He hoped to God he would be given a second chance with Macy, but either way, he was going to turn things around for Alex.

He would be a completely different dad from here on out.

Listening to the soft, rhythmic breathing, Chad felt himself getting sleepy. His eyelids grew heavy, and he didn't bother fighting them. He turned to the side in the over-sized chair and allowed himself to get some sleep too.

He felt hands on his shoulder, waking him. He blinked a few times, looking around. The room was bright like late morning. Alyssa stood in front of him, the light shining around her as if she was an angel.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. "Why are you sleeping here?"

Nothing would be okay until Macy came back, but at least he had the rest of his family and he had the chance to be a new man for them. He grabbed her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

She seemed surprised at first, but then put her arms around him too. "What's going on?"

Chad looked over at Alex, still sleeping. He put his finger over his mouth and pointed toward the door, indicating that they should talk somewhere else.

Alyssa nodded and then he stood and stretched. He took her hand and led her out of the room, closing the door behind them.

She looked at him, her eyes filled with worry. "Is Alex okay? Why were you sleeping in there?"

"Let's get some coffee and talk in the kitchen."

"Okay." It sounded more like a question, but she went toward the stairs.

He took her hand and then she gave him a look he couldn't quite read. It was filled with too many emotions, which he fully understood. When they got to the kitchen, he asked if she was hungry.

"No. Just coffee's fine."

He poured the ground beans into the coffee maker, he told her about Alex's posts. By the time he sat down with the two steaming cups of coffee, he was telling her about the comments.

She just stared at him. "I hate social media. I really do. What are we going to do?"

"The good thing is that Alex is doing this because he loves Macy."

"Have you already talked to him about this? Is that why you were in there?"

He shook his head. "He was already sleeping when I got in there."

"Everyone has already seen those posts?"

"If you judge by the number of comments left, yes. Hundreds. Probably a lot more by now."

Alyssa put her face into her hands. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"I'll take care of it; you can feel free to stay away from the internet. Let's just focus on writing our letters to Macy."

She looked up at him. "Kids are going to be furious with Alex for posting that stuff. What if those girls turn on Alex too?"

"I don't think they'd dare. There were so many people commenting about being pissed at what they did to Macy. They're going to be the ones who need to worry."

"But if those girls get bullied due to what Alex posted, he could get into trouble."

"It's a good thing he stayed home from school today."

Done

Macy held the pillow over her head, trying to ignore the sounds from Chester and Rebekah's room. It was too gross to think about. She had been trying not to listen to them for weeks. She had lost count of the days.

She distracted herself by thinking about Luke. Her cheeks warmed just picturing his face. He was so cute and he actually liked her, at least as a friend. If she was going to be stuck in the community, at least she would enjoy spending more time with him.

Would he tell her more? Luke really hadn't wanted to talk about an escape plan that morning. His gorgeous face had been stressed telling her about the kid who had gone missing.

The more she thought about him, the more surprised she was that he had taken an interest in her. He probably just saw her as the key to getting out of there since he was working on that himself. She would gladly spend as much time as needed with him. But because of Chester, she would probably have to make sure that Dorcas was with them at all times.

Chester had questioned both her and Rebekah about who Macy had spent time with. Rebekah had told him that she was making friends with Dorcas, but didn't mention anything about Luke. Macy said the same things, and Chester didn't have a tantrum. He hadn't returned to the nice guy he had been, but at least he hadn't locked her up or yelled at Rebekah.

Macy was tired. The nightly meetings always ran so late, and then they had to get up early for school. She moved the pillow from her head, but then was greeted with the sounds of a squeaking bed.

"Ugh!" She pulled it back over her ears, closing her eyes. She just wanted some sleep. She was certain that Chester had to be sleep depriving her on purpose. It was one way to keep her tired and less likely fight back if all she wanted to do was sleep.

Whatever she did, she needed to start acting like she wanted to be a part of things. Luke had been pretty sure that she would be able to go out of the walls with Chester at some point. If that was true, she needed to do what she could to make that happen sooner rather than later.

On the other hand, she needed find out if there was another way out. Who knew how long it would be before she was allowed to go out with Chester? She would probably have to pass whatever test it was to get her biblical name first. Most everyone seemed to have those. She hadn't met anyone yet with a non-Biblical name.

Macy lifted the pillow from her ear and immediately heard the sounds again. How much longer could they go? It wasn't the Olympics. She covered her ears. She had discovered that thinking about her family and life back home made her too sad, so she tried to think about something else.

Her mind wandered to Heather. Was she still in the mental facility, wasting away? What if no one believed her about her mom? The fact that Chester was walking around free proved that no one had found a body at least.

When she got out, she would have to figure out where Heather was. She would find the hospital and tell them everything if it meant getting Heather free. Hopefully that would also be enough to get Chester into jail. Even though there might be no proof about his wife, he would have to go to jail for kidnapping.

He couldn't claim insanity. It was definitely premeditated, the way that he had stalked her and pretended to be a teenager to lure her out there. If he didn't go to jail, then maybe Heather was safer wherever she was.

As she thought about it, Macy finally drifted off to sleep.

She had dreams of climbing over the fence and getting cut on the wiring only to fall to the ground on the other side and end up attacked by wild animals with sharp teeth and ugly faces.

Macy sat up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. She looked around the room, taking a minute to figure out where she was. Her hair was a jumbled mess around her face and she clawed at it, getting it out of her way. Holding it between her fingers, she stared at the light color and shorter length Chester had forced her into.

The only good thing about her hair was that it was going to have dark roots soon, if she didn't already. There weren't mirrors available, she couldn't know for sure. Once Macy did have obvious roots, Chester would have to explain her hair to everyone. Or did it even matter? No one in the community knew what Heather looked like, so it probably didn't matter. And even if it did, he would have figured something out. He had everything planned out perfectly.

Anger and hate ran through her. Not only did he take her away from her family, but he had stripped her identity too. She moved her hand, looking at her hair in different angles, allowing the hate and rage to build.

She was
done
. Done being nice. Done pretending to be Heather. Done living in fear. It was over. She was going to find a way out if it killed her—and it very well might. She had spent enough time playing it safe. Where had it gotten her? Nowhere. She was still no closer to her family. In fact, she was probably farther away than ever.

They were probably worried sick. What if they thought she was dead? Chester would love nothing more. Then he wouldn't have to worry about them finding her, not that they would have any likelihood while in the community. No one in society even knew it existed.

A fresh wave of anger ran through her. She clutched her hair, ignoring the pain as she pulled against the roots. There were others like her—stolen from their families.

Macy pulled her hair tighter, almost enjoying the pain. She was so furious she wanted to scream. But she knew better. She would have to play nice for just a little bit longer, but she
was
going to find a way out. There was no way she was going to keep living like this.

She slid her fingers out of her hair and got out of bed. She looked outside, seeing no activity. The sun was barely coming up and the frost was especially thick. Macy shivered just looking at it. The room wasn't cold because somehow that wood stove always managed to keep the house warm. Probably because the walls were so thin, as evidenced by her knowing about Chester and Rebekah's nightly routine.

Sliding the curtain back into place, she paced the room. How was she going to get out? She couldn't do it without a plan. It was too bad she didn't have a bulldozer, then she could just bust through the fence. She paced faster, unable to think of anything realistic.

The last thing she wanted was to spend another week copying the crazy rules. If she had any say, she would find a way to have the community shut down. They had to know that kids had been kidnapped. That would be enough to have Eve and Jonah carted away, wouldn't it? Wasn't that aiding and embedding? With them and Chester gone, surely the community would dissolve.

Not only would she be a lost child returned home, but everyone would cheer for her for saving others just like her. She imagined the big welcome home. Confetti flying in the background. Her parents welcoming her with big smiles and bigger hugs. Alex would look at her adoringly and have nothing to tease her about—he would actually look up to her.

But first she had to get out. After she found a way out of the fence—there had to be a weak spot somewhere—she would run as fast as she could. She had never actually heard any animals outside the fence, so that had to be a myth told to keep people inside. Maybe she could find Chester's gun and take it with her.

She remembered back to when she went into his room at the farmhouse to get her cell phone. That hadn't gone well at all. She'd ended up locked up for nearly long enough to kill her since he hadn't given her any water that time. No. She would have to make her escape without his gun.

There was no way she would take a chance of him locking her up again. She needed a plan of escape that had nothing to do with him or any of his stuff.

The bedroom door opened, startling Macy. She turned around to see Rebekah.

"You're already up. Are you all right?"

Macy took a deep breath. She needed to calm down. "I just had a bad dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. I suppose it's time to get up. Do we ever get a day off?"

"No. Sorry, Heather. We must work and learn every day. What would happen if the farmers took a day off? Or the prophets? Work is important. It keeps everything moving. Weekends are for the lazy."

Of course.

Rebekah tilted her head. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need to shake off the nightmare."