Held & Pushed (2 book bundle) (14 page)

Chapter
21

He woke me
one morning, rushing me to hurry and get ready. I quickly worked through my
morning routine wondering what had him in such a fuss.

When he
led me down the basement steps I started to think I didn’t want to know. And
when I saw her lying there where the others had been, naked and spread open for
all to see, I wished I didn’t know.

I gasped.
If Ron heard, he ignored it.

“Nicole,
this is Crystal. Crystal, Nicole.” As he pushed me into the chair and pulled my
arms behind me, cuffing me to the vertical beam, I took a good look at Crystal.
I knew she’d never look this way again.

If she was
twenty years old, I’d be surprised. My guess was more like eighteen, maybe even
younger than that. She had black hair with white streaks bleached into it. She
had many piercings. I saw two in her lower lip, two in one eyebrow and four in
the other, and several in her right ear. I couldn’t see her left ear, but I
assumed it contained as many or more. Her belly button was pierced, as well as her
nipples and her crotch.

She had
several tattoos here and there on her body. Each ankle had something on it, but
I couldn’t make out what either was because the restraints covered most of
them. Above her privates where her pubic hair would’ve been if she’d had any
was the face of a black cat. It could’ve been a panther. It was hard to tell in
the dim lighting, but I knew for sure it was a black cat. Above each of her
breasts was a black paw print, probably in keeping with the cat theme. On the
side of her neck was what looked like a
name.
From
this distance and angle, I couldn’t read it. Though I couldn’t see her back
side, I was sure she had a tramp stamp, a tattoo above her butt. Oddly and
inappropriately, I wondered what it was.

She was a very
pretty girl, but judging her from what I saw before me now, I bet she was a
wild one.

I also
noticed something that Ron probably hadn’t. She had a bump.
A
baby bump.
She was slender and the bump was slight, but I noticed it.

I looked
to Ron, but he was standing over her looking at her face. He didn’t appear to
have noticed her bump. I certainly didn’t want to bring it up. But I also
didn’t want him to do anything to hurt the baby. I wondered if he would let her
go if he knew she was pregnant. Did he have any morals whatsoever? Did even
madmen have a line they wouldn’t cross? I doubted it, and I kept my mouth shut.

“Look at
you,” he said to her. “How could you do this to your body?” He knelt down
beside her.
“Your beautiful, young, soft body.”
He lightly
ran the back of his hand up her thigh and side. Just before he touched her
breast, he looked at me. “Does this bother you, Nicole?”

I didn’t
know what to say so I said nothing.

“Does it
bother you when I touch her this way?” he asked as he caressed her left breast
with his right hand.

I looked
at her face. She was crying. If this made her cry, she was in trouble because
this was nothing compared to what was going to happen to her.

“Nicole,
do you feel any jealousy?”

Unsure of
what to say but knowing I had to say something, I said, “A little.” I was
afraid that if I said no, he’d get angry and harm her. I was also afraid that
if I said yes, he’d rape her to make me more jealous.

He nodded.
“I thought so.”

He got on
his knees and leaned over her, kissing her breast. The unsettling part of the
whole thing wasn’t that she was tied up or that we were both being held against
our will. It was that while he licked her nipples, he stared at me. Even as he
ran his left hand down her belly and settled between her legs, he kept eye
contact with me. Just as he had when he’d been raping Stephanie’s corpse.

In my
peripheral vision, I saw his hand moving between her legs, slowly at first,
then gaining speed. His mouth went from licking and kissing her nipple to
biting it, softly at first, then harder and harder.

She went
from whimpering and weeping silently to crying openly. Soon, she’d move on to
screaming. They always did.

As he kept
eye contact with me, he began to get really rough with her. The more she cried
and struggled, the harder he bit her, and the harder his hand went at her
crotch.

When the
screams started suddenly, I looked down at his hand and saw him pulling it out
of her. The sight of blood made me first think he’d caused enough harm to make
her lose the baby. But after a while, I realized it wasn’t enough blood for
that, and that the only person he had hurt was her. He shoved his hand into her
again, all the way up to his wrist, and back out.

Able to
only imagine what kind of pain that brought, I squeezed my legs together and
winced.
That poor girl.

“What
about now, Nicole?” he asked.

I snapped
my eyes from his hand up to his face, which
hovered
only an inch or two above her bleeding breast.

 
“Are you jealous now? Would you like to trade
places with her?”

“No,” I
said quickly. I immediately felt guilty. She was pregnant. I should offer to
take her place. And if I knew for a fact that he’d let her go, I would. But I
had a feeling that even if I took her place, he’d kill her.

I squeezed
my eyes shut tight for a moment and reminded myself that I had a baby of my own
I had to think about. As Mason’s face floated behind my eyelids, I felt better
about what I’d said. As unfair as it was to judge her this way, I told myself
that she wouldn’t make a good mother anyway. I was hoping she would escape with
her life and that of her unborn child, but if she didn’t, then it was probably
for the best.

Maybe now
I’d be able to sleep at night.

When I
opened my eyes, I was surprised to find Ron’s face right in front of mine. He
was kneeling in front of me. I drew back a bit, startled.

“Nicole,”
he said softly. “It makes me happy to know that seeing me touch another woman
makes you jealous. It shows me that you care about me. Knowing this, I still
don’t understand why you won’t have me.”

He reached
up and touched my face. That alone was bad, but this time it was worse. He
touched me with the hand that had her blood on it. Some of her blood was on his
chin as well. He leaned in and kissed my neck. It was all I could do to keep
from cringing.

Behind
him, she cried.

“You do
things to me, Nicole. Things like sleep naked across the hall from me, teasing
me. You let me touch you and kiss you, but you turn me away night after night.
Why do you torment me so?” he asked as he nuzzled my neck and ran his bloody
hand through my hair.

“You make
me sleep naked, Ron. Remember?”

“Yes. Yes,
I remember. You know I sleep naked too. Just waiting for the night you call out
my name, summoning me to come to you. I’ll be there in a flash, you know.”

And in the
blink of an eye, he changed. He went from cooing words of affection to me to
yelling.

He stood
up quickly and paced around Crystal’s nude body, arms flailing and eyes wide. And
penis erect, bulging at the front of his slacks.

No. I’d
seen this play out before. I knew what he was getting ready to do. I had to
stop him. If I didn’t at least try, I might as well be down on the floor beside
him, raping her right along with him.

“Ron, I
may be ready to have you.”

“Oh is
that so?” he asked in a snotty tone without breaking his pace.

“Yes. I
was going to tell you today. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I believe I’m
ready.”

He shot a
glance my way but didn’t stop pacing. “Why? Why now?”

“I’ve
spent more time with you and feel that I know you better now.” The next part
was a tough one to say, but after glancing at Crystal, I managed. “I like you
now.”

He stopped
pacing and looked at me. “You mean you didn’t like me before?”

Shit. No
matter what I said with him, it was wrong. It was always the wrong thing to say
and the wrong time to say it.

“I’ve
always kind of liked you,” I stammered. “But now I like you more. I like you
enough to have you.”

He shook
his head.

“It’s
true. I really do want you.” I was starting to sound like I meant it. I hoped
he believed me.

Then, he
smiled. He stepped closer to me. “You want me?”

“Yes.”

He
unfastened his khaki slacks and pulled them and his underwear down until all of
his maleness was exposed. I watched as he walked toward me. My heart was
beating furiously. This was it. I’d made it a long time, but now it was going
to happen.

He stopped
in front of me. I waited for him to remove the handcuffs. Surely, he would put
me on the floor or the mattress, or maybe even make me stand up and turn around,
giving me a chance at least to get away. But he didn’t.

He put his
hand on the back of my head and pulled it toward his exposed crotch as he
stepped closer to me.

“You bite
me, Nicole, and I’ll cut off more than just her finger. Do you understand?”

Slowly, I
nodded. I tried to talk myself into this. I didn’t want to do it. Not even a
little bit. But it was clear that I had to. It would prevent her from suffering
any more than she already was. I felt I owed her that much after having thrown
her under the bus as much as I felt I had.

I opened
my mouth and began the disgusting task at hand, doing my best to forget that
what was now in my mouth had been inside a dead woman, and reminding myself of
why I couldn’t bite him. I wanted to bite the damn thing off and watch him
bleed to death, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. That would be suicide for me
and nothing more than an inconvenient and embarrassing trip to the emergency
room for him.

After several
minutes which felt like hours, and nearly vomiting twice, he pulled himself away
from me. I thought this would be the time when he’d release me and have his
way. But that’s not what he did.

He turned
and walked over to Crystal. He dropped to his knees between her legs. Looking
over at me, he said, “I want you to watch this, Nicole. I think watching me
with her will make you jealous enough to love me.” He smiled and began to rape
her.

Chapter
22

That was
our routine for the next couple of weeks. After breakfast, he would make me go
down to the basement with him and watch as he raped her. Then, after he
stripped me naked and strapped me to the bed at night, I could see that he was
once again aroused. After he left my room, I heard him going down the steps to
the basement, where I was certain that he raped her again. That was twice a
day, nearly every day.
That poor girl.

Since he
made me go down with him every day, I watched her deteriorate before my eyes.
She became thin. Her skin lost its glow, and even the pregnancy couldn’t bring
it back.

When I’d
first saw her, I’d thought she would’ve been tough, a fighter. I’d thought she
would be a mouthy girl who fought until the end. But I was wrong. She was
quiet. Instead of screaming and cursing at him the way Melinda had, Crystal
cried and whimpered. She begged sometimes, but always quietly.

I
struggled to understand Ron. I’d finally offered myself to him, but instead of
taking me, he chose to make me watch as he raped Crystal. I just couldn’t
understand him.

The only
thing that made any sort of sense was if he really believed that I wanted him
and thought that by making me watch him with her, it was a punishment to me for
making him wait so long. It was crazy to a normal person, but to a psycho like Ron,
it would make perfect sense.

I didn’t
want to watch him with her, though not for the reason he hoped. I didn’t want
to watch two regular people have sex, and I sure as hell didn’t want to watch a
man rape a pregnant young woman.

That’s why
I looked away.
Just one time.
And that was all it
took.

I’d turned
my head toward the mattress in the corner. I just couldn’t watch anymore. I
heard Ron shout my name. When I looked back at him, he ordered me to keep
watching. Then he began to strangle Crystal. With his big hands around her
slender neck, he choked her until he’d finished with her, releasing his grip
just before she passed out each time.

To keep
him from causing her more harm similar to or worse than that, I always made
myself watch. I focused on what I could see of his face, though, still trying
to figure out what he was thinking.

This is
the way things went until after my next period. Since I had no other method of
keeping track of time, I had to use my menstrual cycle. This happened right
after my period because that’s when Ron noticed that Crystal wasn’t having
periods.

Ron and I
were sitting at the table after dinner playing cards and having drinks. After
being silent for a long time, he finally asked what I hoped he never would.