Hell Bent (Rock Bottom #1) (14 page)

About a mile down the road I have to pull over because I can’t see through the haze of tears stinging my eyes. My fist hits off the steering wheel so many times that I’m not sure when I ripped open the skin on my knuckles because they’ve gone numb. There was so much more that I wanted to say to her, to ask her, but I couldn’t get my mind to cooperate with my mouth after she said she didn’t want me to begin with. That hurt more than finding out she was still alive. 

My head falls back against the wall as I stare at the studio door and wait for them to try to tell me to come in again. I can’t concentrate on what I should be doing, which means I’m no good in there. So, even though I know they won’t, they might as well stop trying to get me to come back in and work. I figure I’ve got a good five minutes to relax before the producer comes out here again and everything gets crazy. 

Who am I kidding? There will be no relaxing because I know where Izzy is today, and knowing she went alone scares the crap out of me. 

Something knocks into my boots, forcing my feet to skid across the floor just after I close my eyes. “Your head’s not in the game today.”

I crack my eyes open and stare at Willow over the rim of my sunglasses. Do I look like a douche wearing them inside?
Probably
. Do I care?
Not one fucking bit.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My head is right where it should be.”

Willow laughs and slides down next to me on the floor where my feet just were. “That’s why you look like a lost little puppy right now, right?”

I reach out to slap her knee and chuckle. “I said my mind was where it should be, not where I
need
it to be.”

“It better be on my girl if it isn’t on what we’re supposed to be doing.”

“My mind hasn’t been on anyone
but
that girl for a long time now.”

“Good. That’s how it should be. She deserves it.”

“I agree. I just wish someone would knock that into her head.” For a few minutes, we sit beside each other in silence. It’s a comfortable silence, but silence none the less. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask, but I don’t guarantee that I’ll have an answer.”

“What’s this ‘everybody leaves’ bullshit about that she tried to scare me off with?”

“I figured that’s what she would try to use. Don’t let it scare you off,” she tells me seriously.

Turning my head, I take the glasses off so she can see how serious I am. “Nothing is gonna scare me off, but I need to know, and she won’t really elaborate.”

“It’s simple, really.” Shrugging, she steals my shades and puts them on, hiding her eyes from me, cutting me off from any emotion that
she
might have. “Her mom left them. Her dad died. Abby and the rest of her family have always been in and out because of tours and scouting and shit. She’s petrified of getting attached and getting hurt again. Add on top of the fact that she’s been lied to by everyone in her life for her entire life. This company and being hurt are the only two constants that she’s ever had.”

Shit.
“She deserves better.” Better than me, too, but I don’t think I could ever admit that out loud.

When the elevator doors chime, Willow stands up. After handing me back my sunglasses, she wipes her hands across the back of her jeans.

“Don’t hurt her, Bennett.”

As soon as Willow stops talking, the doors open and Izzy steps out. She stumbles to a stop when she sees us. I can tell she’s been crying, but she quickly tries to mask it with a pair of sunglasses as she walks toward us.

“Hooker,” she says, passing Willow.

“Whore,” Willow calls over her shoulder as she heads into the room.

“You’re supposed to be working,” she reminds me.

“And you’re not supposed to be here.” The fact that she is, and that she’s upset, tells me pretty much everything I need to know about what happened.

“Well, you’re stuck with me now. Is that a problem?” Without waiting for an answer, Izzy starts to walk past me. Reaching out, I snag her by the waist and walk her backward until I have her pinned between my body and the wall.

“On the contrary, beautiful girl. I was actually hoping you would show up and save my day.” Her eyes are covered, but I can tell she isn’t looking at me and that doesn’t sit well with me. Pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head, I force her to pay attention to me. Her normally bright-blue eyes are bloodshot, glassy, and darker than normal. “Talk to me.”

“We have work to do, and we’re already behind.”

She tries to push me away so she can go into the control room, but I don’t let her move. “That booth will always be there, Izzy.
Always
. And at this very second, I don’t give a damn about what we’re behind on or even if I record at all. All I care about at this second is you, and you pushing me away isn’t going to change that.”

The silence stretches on as she stares at my chest. “I haven’t even begun to process what happened but I
need
to think about something else. I need for you to go in there and let me focus on something I know how to do. Right now I need to keep myself busy and keep things separate.”

I graze my fingers up her arm until I reach her neck. She’s close to crying again, so I’m going to give in and give her what she wants, but I don’t plan on letting it go. Tipping her head back, I capture her mouth, surprised a bit when she actually kisses me back. Since she won’t even look at me I didn’t expect her to reciprocate my kiss with everything going on in her head. She whimpers into my mouth when my free hand slides down her side, landing on her stomach, and I feel her tears hit my top lip.

“I’ll let it go for now but I want you to know that you’re stuck with me, Izzy,” I tell her when I pull back and press my forehead against hers. “You better get used to it, because I’m not going anywhere.”

“Except into the booth, right?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want.”

Winking, I step back and push the door open, holding it out of the way for her.

“As long as you’re sitting on the other side of the glass then I’ll be there. After you, boss lady.”

As the door closes behind us and the hall goes dark around us, Izzy turns back toward me and pushes herself against me. Her arms slide around my neck and she pulls me down to her lips again.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “I don’t deserve you.”

Brushing her hair off her face, I cup her cheek. “No, you deserve better.”

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake
up
.” The bed bounces as Bennett jumps up and down like a child filled with excitement. 

“Whaaaat,” I groan, pulling my pillow over my head. I have to pee so fucking bad, and his bouncing isn’t helping anything, but I have no desire to get out of bed. Getting up means pants, but pants and I don’t get along very well anymore. Nothing fits over my protruding stomach. Oddly, Bennett loves my belly even though all I feel is fat.

Pulling the pillow off my face, he peppers my face in kisses until I give up and open my eyes. He wasn’t lying when he told me he could be childish, and it’s cute…most of the time. As for today, I’m exhausted after spending most of last night talking to him about everything that happened when I went to meet my mother. I’m still no closer to understanding everything, and I doubt I ever will be.

“Please stop bouncing before I pee the bed.”

Flopping back, he props himself up on his elbow, shoves his phone into my hand, and begins to rub my stomach after I take it. If he has any issues with the baby not actually being his, he doesn’t let it show. Every time I ask him about it he tells me not to worry. That it isn’t DNA that makes a parent a parent, and that every kid deserves all the love it can get. If he’s only saying those things to me to get me to fall for him, it’s working.

Scrolling through the chart he has pulled up on his phone, I squeal when I see his name next to the song I leaked when I shipped him off. It’s not number one, but it’s finally there.

“I’m so proud of you. Slow and steady wins the race,” I tell him.

Smiling, he kisses me deeply without taking his hand off my stomach. “Izzy, I’ve already won. That’s just an added bonus.”

I sit there until I can’t stand it anymore and rush to the bathroom. Thank God Willow headed to work so I don’t have to fight to put clothes on before leaving my room, because I would lose. When I make it back to the room, Bennett is sitting on the edge of the bed with no shirt on. The ink on his skin draws me to him, and I can’t keep my fingers off it. It’s soft and warm, and all I want is to feel it against mine.

“I talked to my mother this morning; she wants to know if we can come for dinner tonight.”

“Sure, why not,” I mutter, barely paying attention.

Pulling me between his thighs, he skims his fingers across my skin. I brace myself against his shoulders as his hand moves lower and he slips two fingers into me. Curling them forward, his palm grazes my clit, making me gasp. His look of concentration turns to a cocky smirk when I moan and rock against his hand.

“Fuck,” I whimper. I’m close. So fucking close and he knows it—he controls it. Slowing down, he pulls me back from the edge and forces me back so he can stand up.

“Do you know how sexy you are? How fucking beautiful?” I should, he tells me enough, but I can’t make my voice work to answer him. “The sounds you make and the way you move make me so fucking hard.”

Grabbing my hand, he presses it against his hardening cock and groans when I begin to rub him through his jeans.

“Get on the bed, beautiful. I want to bury my face in your pussy and make you scream.” When I hesitate, mainly because his words paralyze me, he narrows his eyes at me. “You have five seconds to get your perfect ass on that bed, or I’m going to push you up against that wall and take you that way.”

The defiant part of me wants to wait him out and see what he means, but the pregnant part wonders if I would be able to stay standing through an orgasm.

“Tick tock, woman.”

I purse my lips, deciding to take my chances on staying upright, and I know he sees the challenge in my eyes. Tangling his hands in my hair, he thrusts his tongue into my mouth, exploring as he pushes me back. Dipping his finger back into me, he draws it out and sucks it clean before doing it again. This time, instead of pushing his finger into his mouth, he draws it around my lips and across my tongue. The taste exploding across my taste buds mixed with the look in his eyes turns me on even more.

“I’d fuckin’ kill to have the taste of you on my tongue all the time.”

Closing my lips around his finger, I graze my teeth across his skin as he pulls it out of my mouth.

“Fuckin’ tease. If I wasn’t so hell-bent on having my face between your legs, you’d be on your knees sucking my cock instead of my finger.”

I lick my lips at the thought. “Say the word, and I will.”

“Oh, I know you would.” Bennett smirks, gripping my hips. “But right now the only thing I’m going to tell you is to turn around and bend. I gave you a chance to get on the bed. Now we do this my way.”

A chill runs down my spine as I turn. I can feel his eyes on me—every inch of me. He grinds his hips against my ass. Leaning forward, he grabs my wrists and pushes my hands against the wall, forcing me forward until my chest hits it too and my ass is sticking out for him.