Her Last Wish (21 page)

Chapter
Twenty-Nine

Connor

The crowd in the
auditorium buzzed with excitement, as they watched their sons, daughters,
parents, and spouses pile in dressed in their caps and gowns. I stood silently
along the wall. I could see the stage from my vantage point, but I wasn’t so
close that I could be easily spotted from the stage. I’d have to get relatively
close once it was time for me to sneak out, but I figured there would be so
much commotion that I wouldn’t be noticed. There always was. Graduation was an
exciting time, after all. At least, it was for everyone except me. The one I
wanted to see couldn’t know that I was there.

The usual speeches and
introductions bored me half to death, but that wasn’t any different from any
other year. However, my eyes were glued to the stage when they finally called
Charlie’s name while they handed out diplomas. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
She was so beautiful. I missed her. I hated to even admit it, but I needed her.

What killed me most was
her smile. It wasn’t her genuine, happy smile. It was fake and painted on for
the benefit of those around her. I had only seen it once before, but even that
once had been one too many. I wanted to hold her and make everything that
bothered her disappear. But that would mean that I would have to break my vow
to myself that I would keep her safe from
me
. Maybe not from me,
exactly
,
but from whatever cloud of misery and death that seemed to follow anyone I
cared about. I had to protect her, regardless of what I needed or wanted.

Unable to stand it
anymore, I left the auditorium as soon as I watched her cross the stage.

***

Charlie

When my name was
called, I was jolted back into the present. I followed the path to get my
diploma, as was expected of me. I supposed I should have cared about the
ceremony, but I didn’t. I’d earned the paper, regardless. I only walked because
it was a rite of passage. I’d earned it, and my parents would have wanted me to
do it. As usual, I had tried to get them to come, but they weren’t able to make
it. It only added to my frustration with the whole situation. I would have much
rather stayed home and had my diploma mailed to me.

I looked up to see
Professor Clary smiling at me. Somehow, she had turned into one of my favorite
teachers. Though I supposed it wasn’t much of a mystery how. She challenged me,
which was the most important thing for a teacher. I always loved a challenge. I
was glad she, at least, made it to graduation. However, I wished more that the
person she had replaced in the ceremony would have been there as well.

After I took my
diploma, I looked up at her one last time. Her smile had faded, and I found her
staring off into the crowd as if she’d seen a ghost. I followed her eyes to
find the one person I’d ached to see. Connor. I spotted him just as he hurried
out the door.

Instead of walking
around and back to my seat, I decided to slip out the door while they continued
handing out diplomas to the graduates behind me.

The area outside the
auditorium was empty, but I heard heavy footsteps further down the hall. They
had to be his. I ran toward the sound, determined to catch up.

Finally, I rounded a
corner and found him walking toward the doors to the nearby parking lot.
“Connor!” I called.

He froze in place.
After a few seconds, he slowly turned to look at me. He seemed conflicted as to
whether he should stay or keep moving.

Why would he even
question it? What was going on? Had I done something to make him want to avoid
me so much? “Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

He stared back at me,
shocked that I would ever demand anything of him. And I supposed I never had
before. But I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again. I couldn’t
live with myself if I just let him disappear. He was the best thing that had
ever happened to me.

I slowed once I finally
got close to him. “We need to talk. Now.” I couldn’t risk him suggesting
sometime later only to not show up. No, it couldn’t wait.

He sighed and nodded.
“Come with me. Here isn’t the place.” He held out his hand, and I gladly took
it. His touch sent warmth through my entire body. My heart raced, as he led me
through the dark campus grounds to the main building.

Soon, we reached his office.
He unlocked the door and let me in first. As I looked around, he locked the
door behind us. I could tell that he had been in his office since I’d seen it
last,
as some things had changed places,
but the usual mess of papers was missing
, entirely
. Everything was
unusually tidy, likely due to the fact that it was a rarity for him to be in
there, anymore. Without the stack blocking it, I was able to see a small
picture frame on the edge of his desk. A familiar blonde-haired, blue-eyed
beauty stared back at me. It was the woman from my dream. She had told me about
the baby’s death.

“Who is this?” I asked,
carefully picking up the picture. I looked up to find Connor staring at me as
if I were a wild animal that had somehow wandered inside the building. “Why are
you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” he asked
nervously.

“Like I’m going to chew
your head off.”

His posture softened
slightly. “I wouldn’t think that, at all. I just didn’t want you to think that
I had … She’s not … You were the only one. You’re still …” He sighed in defeat.

I wondered if I should
have been insulted that he’d assume I’d accuse him of cheating just because I
found a picture. It figured he’d find out about the situation at Jackson’s
dorm. I probably should have told him about that. But just because Jackson did
something, that certainly didn’t mean that I would think Connor would. Despite
his disappearance, I still trusted Connor more than anyone.

He walked over to me
and gently tapped the picture in my hand. “That’s Elizabeth.” He carefully
studied my expression. “Did you know her?
You seem to recognize her.
”

Elizabeth? How had I
seen his wife in a dream
, when I had never met her
? And why would she tell me about the baby’s
death? How would a figment from a dream even know something like that?

I stared at her smiling
face. She had taken her baby back. She was telling me he was safe with her. And
she’d said she’d protected me? Was it even possible for a dead person to
protect a live one?

I shook my head. No. It
was only a dream. It had to have been. Wasn’t it?

I gently put the
picture back down on his desk and turned my attention back to him. He was the
one I needed to see, not some picture of a dead woman. “No,” I lied. Sort of. “I
didn’t know her.” There was no way I could tell him the truth without him
thinking I’d lost my mind, anyways. “You tell me you love me and that we’ll
talk later, but you just disappear while I’m sleeping?”

He looked down at the
floor. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Did you only
say that you loved me to make me feel better?”

He looked as if I’d
slapped him. “Of course, not! I meant every word!”

“Then why did you leave
me there?”

“Because I can’t hurt
you anymore!”

I stared at him. “You
didn’t hurt me until you left. Losing you was the most painful thing I’ve had
to endure in my memorable life.”

He carefully took my
hands in his and held them close to his chest, as if it would make all the pain
in the room go away. “I’m the reason you were in there in the first place. You
nearly died because of me. I can’t let anything happen to you.”

I furrowed my brow in
confusion. Did he know something about the accident that I didn’t? Because that
wasn’t how I’d heard it. Last I’d heard, he hadn’t even made it to the parking
lot until after I’d already been hit. It was what my very vague memory told me,
as well. I was pretty sure that last I’d seen him that day, he had been up by
the door. “Because of you?”

“You nearly died
because I love you!”

“How does that even
begin to make sense?” I nearly yelled.

He was silent for a
moment. He released my hands, letting them fall back to my sides, and spoke
softly. “Charlie, everyone I love dies.” He gestured to the picture that I’d
held only minutes before. “I loved her, too. She died in a car accident like
the one that almost killed you. Like the one that killed our son.”

I cupped his stubble-covered
cheeks in my hands. I brought his face down to mine and placed my forehead
against his. I couldn’t decide what was worse, life without him or watching him
torture himself by taking all the blame for something that was my doing. “Connor,
please listen to me, and I mean
really
listen and let it sink in. I
nearly died because of
me
. Your son died because of
me
. Blame
me
.
I
was the one that ran out in front of a car to push Jackson’s stupid,
stubborn butt out of the way. You had nothing to do with it. If it means you
hate me for the rest of our lives, so be it. But please don’t blame yourself
for this.”

“Hate you? I have to
protect
you,” he said in a scratchy voice. “Even if it means walking away from you to
keep you safe.”

“Your presence in my
life isn’t putting me in danger. And even if it were, I would rather have died
in that accident than live the rest of my life without you.” I pressed my lips
against his.

He sighed against my
mouth and drew our kiss in deeper, as if he couldn’t stop himself. But just as
quickly as I had started it, he snapped back into his previous mindset and
pulled away. “I want you. I miss you more every day, and I’d give anything to
wake up next to you again. But what if something happens to you?”

I wrapped my arms
tighter around him, placing our faces only inches apart once again. I wasn’t
going to let him get away from me so easily. I
couldn’t
. “Nothing will
happen. These past few months without you have been agonizing. Please don’t
push me away just because you somehow believe you are responsible for
everything bad that ever has or will happen to me. I swear, if it will make you
feel better, I will never jump in and save anyone ever again.”

He held me close, and I
could feel a few stray tears hit the back of my gown. “I just can’t lose you,
too. You are the most important thing in my life. You’re all I have left.”

“So don’t turn me away.
I’m right here, and I will stay here as long as you let me. I love you.”

Before I knew what had
happened, I found his lips over mine once again. His passion flowed through me
and consumed me. He called out to me in a way that only a true lover could. I
couldn’t escape him. I didn’t want to.

Suddenly, he broke our
kiss and stared at me. From the look in his eyes, I could tell that he would no
longer push me away from him. He wasn’t entirely convinced, but I could tell
that he realized we were better off together and happy than apart and
miserable. I sighed in relief. He gently tipped my cap off my head and smiled.
After a few seconds to catch his breath, he said, “I suppose we should get you
out of this cap and gown before it looks too much like I’m busy seducing
students again.”

I smiled back. “The cap
and gown mean that I’m technically alumni now. I’m nobody’s student anymore.
Unless, of course, you feel as if there’s anything else you need to teach me.”
I was shocked by how much my voice resembled a low, seductive purr.

He pulled my gown off
of me and grinned mischievously when he saw my black dress underneath. “I have
plenty that I would love to teach you.” He tugged slightly at the hem. “You
wore my favorite dress. It looks good, even without the stomach.”

“So does this mean that
we’ll be waking up on your couch again, as previous experience has dictated?”

He slowly backed me up
against his desk. My breath caught in my throat when the back of my thighs hit
the solid wooden edge. His lips gently brushed against my collarbone, before he
seductively replied, “Only if we are unable to make it to my bedroom, first.”

I gasped, as he pressed
his hard body against mine. I could feel his arousal against my stomach. “Oh?”
My voice came out far shakier than I’d expected, as if it were my first time
with him. “Do you expect difficulties making it to your bedroom?”

He lifted the hem of my
dress over my hip with one hand. With the other, he carefully moved the edge of
my panties over to one side, exposing my nakedness to the cool air. I whimpered
as he caressed my body with one slow, gentle finger. He grinned in
satisfaction. “I expect difficulties making it to the car. I’ve missed you far
too much to wait much longer.” He planted slow, sweet kisses on the side of my
neck. “Though I suppose I have one question left for you.”

I tried to keep my mind
from going fuzzy, but his touch tried to lure me away from everything in
existence other than the raw feel of him. I needed to focus. Words needed to
happen. “What question?”