Her Last Wish (15 page)

“Everything smells so
good in here,” Connor said, as he passed by the kitchen. He leaned over the
counter to look at what I’d accomplished so far. “Anything I can help with?”

“Um …” I looked around.
I pretty much had everything covered. However, there was my least favorite part
… “Want to carve the bird? Everything else is just about ready to go on the
table.”

He grinned and walked
over to me, giving me a quick hug. “Thank you for doing this. I know my mom
hasn’t said anything about it, but she’s pretty impressed that you would go to
all this trouble just to give everyone a worthy Thanksgiving meal.”

I gave a small,
sarcastic laugh. “I couldn’t tell over the mild slut-shaming. After all, we
hadn’t had much time to
really
date before we immediately hopped in bed,
together.”

“I’m sorry. She gave
Elizabeth a hard time about a lot of things, too. All the way up until her
death. I think she feels it’s part of her motherly duties.”

I lowered my voice to a
whisper. “I know that this is all just to keep your parents from taking this
whole baby plan too badly. And I know that I was the one to suggest it in the
first place. It’s just hard for me to not take things like that personally.
Especially with that whole Jackson bit. I think the timing of it all is just
making me a little too sensitive.”

“I know.” He genuinely
looked upset. He reached out and gently caressed my cheek. “Hey, forget about
whatever it was that Jackson did or said. It doesn’t matter. He was wrong and
stupid.”

I nodded, directing my
eyes down at the floor. If he was stupid, then what did that make me? I was the
one who was with him, and I was the one who had grieved over his absence.

Connor carefully tipped
my chin back, forcing me to look into his deep blue eyes. As if he heard my
thoughts, he said, “You are better than that.”

I stared at him in
surprise. I couldn’t read his expression. All I could see was that he slowly
leaned in closer to me. My heart began to race. I felt the heat rush to my
face. A strange warmth grew deep in my center. I had a feeling I knew what was
coming, and I should have backed away. It was crazy, and he was my teacher. But
I wanted it. Something about him had started calling to me. Perhaps it was the knowledge
of what it felt like to be in his arms from all the displays for his mother.
Perhaps it was the memory of his lips on my hand and ear. I wanted to feel them
elsewhere. I wanted to feel them
everywhere
.

In the end, I wasn’t
given a choice. Nor was Connor, for that matter. Savannah cleared her throat
from the other side of the counter.

“Can I help with
anything?” she asked.

“Um … I’m just about to
get everything on the table,” I said awkwardly.

“Right.” I could tell
she had the same suspicion about what she had just interrupted that I did.

“I’d be happy for an
extra set of hands. Connor was just about to carve the turkey.”

She smirked. “I’m sure
he was.”

Fortunately, she left the
conversation there. She and I had everything plated beautifully and on the
table within minutes. By the time Connor made the last slice, everyone had
gathered around the table.

While we ate, I put my
confused feelings about the incident behind me. I couldn’t let myself get too
wrapped up in them. He was my teacher. I was still getting over a breakup, even
though I had to admit that I thought of Jackson only when I considered going
home but remembered that it might mean getting trapped alone with him there
when he’d clearly lost his mind. That was all I saw him as, an obstacle between
me and my house. And most of all, I had to remind myself that Connor and I were
only pretending to be together to make it easier for his family to accept his
decision to have children without a wife. I couldn’t let my hormones convince
me that he actually
meant
any of it.

***

Connor

I had been so close. I
wasn’t sure what came over me, but something about the way Charlie looked at me
just sent me over the edge. I’d had such a strong desire to kiss her,
really
kiss her. I had all day. All
week
, even. I might as well admit that I
just wanted her. I wanted her more every day. And I had only been seconds away
from finally making that first step towards something more. But of course,
Savannah had to come and ruin it. I wasn’t sure whether I was angry or grateful.
I suppose it would have depended upon the reaction Charlie would have had
afterward. Savannah could have actually saved me. I was losing more restraint with
each second that passed. While I hoped that Charlie would accept (and return)
my feelings for her, I still feared that taking that leap would chase her away
forever.

The dinner that Charlie
had prepared was exceptional, as I knew it would be. Even my mother
complimented her on it. My mother was certainly not one to hand out compliments
lightly. Usually she ignored things that pleased her, entirely. Even I could
tell that she liked Charlie before the end of the dinner, despite her third
degree about our relationship and my quickly shutting down her more insulting
sentiments. I knew Charlie was just a likeable person, but I never thought I’d
see the day that my mother would almost immediately approve of anyone that she
thought I was seeing.

I felt a twinge of pain
in my chest. That was all it was. My mother only
thought
we were together.
Although we’d been pretty convincing, I didn’t actually have her. She was a
pretty stable fixture in my life at that moment, but I didn’t know what the
future held. I had simply been dealt a lucky hand. Her crazy ex pushed her
closer to me for the moment, but I wouldn’t be guaranteed time near her once
the baby came. She hadn’t even seemed that convinced that she’d spend much time
with me
or
the baby after that.

So what could I do to
convince her to hang around? I hadn’t the slightest idea. But I did know that I
couldn’t hide how much my feelings for her had grown for too much longer. By
the end of that meal, I decided that I didn’t even want to. I had to say
something to her soon.

Chapter Twenty-One

Charlie

Although I hadn’t had a
family dinner in ages and missed my own terribly, I had to admit that spending
time with Connor’s parents was pretty nice. His mom definitely seemed to enjoy
testing me, but she seemed to like me more as the night went on and even
started to back off a bit. Sort of. I’ll be honest; I was just grateful she
eventually stopped making me out to be some man-trapping hooker. His dad was
very laid back and seemed to enjoy everything and everyone. He was one of those
people that made everyone feel calmer just by sitting in the same room. I had a
hard time seeing how they had been married for so long. They were so different
from each other. However, I thought it was sweet how they still clearly cared
about each other, and I had to admit that I was a little jealous of their weird
but obviously functional relationship.

Professor Clary and her
guy weren’t technically part of Connor’s family, but you’d never have been able
to tell the difference. According to Connor, she had been his wife’s best
friend. Although Elizabeth had been gone for years, Professor Clary continued
to look out for him. She teased him and challenged him an awful lot, but I
could tell she did it out of sisterly-type affection. I thought it was sweet,
even if she did have a tendency to be abrasive at times. Even by the end of the
night, I hadn’t learned much about her man. He hadn’t said much of anything
about anything the whole evening. But he seemed nice, as well. I was sure he
was just a bit shy. I didn’t even try to pull him out of his comfort zone,
which seemed to be anywhere near Professor Clary. They were another couple of
apparent opposites.

I smiled to myself as I
put the food into plastic storage containers and placed it all in the fridge. I
decided that while Connor saw everyone out, I’d just get things cleaned up. I
was already starting to fade in and out of alertness and wouldn’t have been
great company, anyways. Better to get everything done before I fall asleep. I
certainly didn’t want to leave a huge mess for Connor to clean when the big
dinner was my idea in the first place. Besides, they were there to see him, not
me. They should have the time with him that they wanted. I didn’t need to be in
the way.

It had been an overall
great evening, despite the rocky start. I couldn’t have asked for a better
Thanksgiving. The only thing that possibly
could
have made it better
would have been if my own parents could have joined us for it. Unfortunately,
that probably wouldn’t be possible for a while. I understood finances and
distance got in the way, but I still missed them. And I had been the one on a
mission to go find myself and build a life from scratch. That was just one of
the downsides. I had accepted it, even if I wasn’t fond of it.

As I closed the
dishwasher and turned it on, I felt a hand on my shoulder, startling me out of
my thoughts. I spun around.

“Jesus, Connor! You
scared me to death!” I scolded.

He laughed. “I’m sorry.
How are you feeling? I know it was probably an awkward night for you, since you
didn’t actually know anyone other than me and Savannah.”

“No. I thought it was
nice. It’s been a while since I had a family dinner of any kind. I wished my
family had been here, but yours is nice, too. For a while, I think …” I paused.

A smile spread across
his face. His eyes sparkled with curiosity. “You think what?”

“I think I forgot that
I was the outsider in the mix. It was like I was a part of the family, pointed
questions, accusations, and all. Like I belonged here.”

It was obvious to me that
he wanted to say something, but he struggled enough with it to stop whatever it
was from coming out. He stared at me as if begging me to understand without
words. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand at all. I couldn’t even tell if he
was upset by my confession. I mean, why should his family of strangers that I’d
probably never see again feel like I could be a part of them? I was
nobody
.
I was that surrogate pretending to be Connor’s fiancée just to help him explain
how a random baby wound up in his care without notice.

Still, I couldn’t take
my eyes off him, curious what he had to say. “What is it? Did I say something
wrong?”

He shook his head. “But
you
do
belong here,” he finally managed. “I’ve just been waiting for you
to see that. And I know you’re probably still upset about all that stuff that
happened with …
him
… this past weekend, but I just …” Connor cupped my
face in his hands and captured my lips under his.

In my experience with
first kisses, guys always seemed to test my reaction by starting off slow. Not
Connor. His heat and desire coursed through my veins. His mouth pleaded with
me, as if he were suffocating, and I happened to be the only bit of air left in
the world. It was different from any other kiss I’d felt before, one that I
could feel all the way to my toes. It made Jackson’s seem like I had only been sheer
amusement. And perhaps I had been. Connor’s made me feel not only wanted, but
needed
.

I pulled away in shock.
What had just happened? Weren’t we only supposed to be acting for his parents?
They weren’t anywhere near. Surely that couldn’t mean … Could it? “I thought we
were only pretending,” I whispered. Sure, I’d wanted him to kiss me earlier,
but I’d never expected he actually would. How had our relationship gotten so
complicated?

He shook his head again.
“I’m tired of pretending. I do it every day. This show for my parents is the
closest to real that I’ve felt in a while. Charlie, I want you. I’ve tried to
ignore it with everything that’s gone on lately, but it’s impossible.” He studied
my face and cracked a knowing smile. “And judging by your expression, you want
me, too. If I’m wrong, tell me that you don’t. I will back away now and you can
pretend this never happened.”

“I …” I couldn’t lie to
him even though I wanted to for simplicity’s sake. He’d even left the perfect
opportunity for me to tell him to go away. But he was right; I
did
want
him. I wanted him so badly lately that it hurt. His gentle kisses on my hands
and cheeks throughout the night had tempted me and teased me to no end, despite
their innocence in nature. And the kiss we’d just shared seemed to leave its
mark somewhere deep down where I would never be able to remove it. I needed
more. I’d chalked it up to loneliness, but what if I was mistaken? But on the
other hand, what if things went horribly wrong? What if I disappointed him?
What if he disappointed me?

As I figured he would,
he sensed my hesitation. “Look, I don’t know what he did, and I don’t need to.
But I
do
know that I will never hurt you like that. I will do everything
I can to make sure that you are protected and cherished, as you should be. Please
just give me a chance to prove that to you.”

When I didn’t respond,
he kissed me in a way that bared everything that he’d kept hidden from me for
so long. His tongue gently slipped past my lips, searching for more. I couldn’t
resist him any longer. It was then that I realized that I was his. Maybe I had
been all along. Perhaps it had only been a matter of time. Maybe I had to
experience Jackson’s betrayal so I could appreciate the affections of someone
as amazing as Connor. Perhaps that was why I wasn’t nearly as upset about the
breakup as I should have been. Or maybe I was looking too far into it. Maybe I
was getting ahead of myself. I didn’t know, nor did I care. I only hoped that
Connor would find what he was looking for so that
he
could finally be
happy. He deserved to be. Of course, I was somehow relieved to find he believed
that I was the one who could do that for him. I didn’t know what he needed from
me, but I did know I wanted him to have it.