Her Little Black Book (22 page)
Read Her Little Black Book Online
Authors: Brenda Jackson
“What!”
She laughed. He didn't see a damn thing funny. “What do you mean you took classes?”
Despite his anger, she continued to laugh. The more she laughed, the angrier he got. When he made a move to get out of bed, she grabbed hold of his thigh. “Calm down, Ron. I don't mean that kind of class.”
“Then tell me what you do mean, Barbara.”
“Okay,” she said, easing up in a sitting position. “I was looking through a magazine and saw this ad in the back. It was supposed to teach you how to do certain things to keep your man satisfied. So I sent off for the video.”
“Video.”
“It was a self-taught video.” She chuckled softly. “You won't believe how many Popsicles it took.”
He raised a brow. “Popsicles?”
“Yes. For practice I used Popsicles to get the sucking motion right. I wanted to learn everything there was to know, since from what you revealed to the therapist, that was one area of our marriage where I was lacking.”
Suddenly he couldn't meet her eyes. He shifted his attention across the room to a picture on the wall. “I never said you were lacking.”
“You didn't have to, Ron,” she said softly. “Your affairs with all those women said it enough.”
He looked back at her then. Saw the pain he heard in her words reflected in her eyes. Seeing it hit him below the gut. “Barbara, Iâ”
“No, I don't want to talk about the past, Ron. I know what you've done before, and I agreed to put it behind us and move on. But still, I knew I had to do something or you would stray again. I had to become your every woman.”
My every woman
. He studied her features, felt a momentary rush of joy that she loved him that much. Then he felt like a total asshole because he knew he wasn't deserving of her love. Never had been, even from the first. But she meant something to him. Always had. She had always been there for him, and he'd taken her for granted. Treated her like crap. He'd let other women disrespect her, and she still hung on to a man who wasn't worthy of her. Not even now. If she ever found out just what he'd pulled with Ashira, how he'd brought his other woman on a trip meant to rebuild their marriage, he
knew he would literally kiss her good-bye. That was one time she would never forgive him. Even now, he couldn't forgive himself.
. He studied her features, felt a momentary rush of joy that she loved him that much. Then he felt like a total asshole because he knew he wasn't deserving of her love. Never had been, even from the first. But she meant something to him. Always had. She had always been there for him, and he'd taken her for granted. Treated her like crap. He'd let other women disrespect her, and she still hung on to a man who wasn't worthy of her. Not even now. If she ever found out just what he'd pulled with Ashira, how he'd brought his other woman on a trip meant to rebuild their marriage, he
knew he would literally kiss her good-bye. That was one time she would never forgive him. Even now, he couldn't forgive himself.
“Am I, Ron?”
Her question cut into his thoughts. “Are you what, Barbara?”
“Your every woman?”
He stared at her. Remembered the first time he'd seen her that day on campus. She'd been attending Spellman, and had come on the Morehouse campus with a group of friends. He thought her classy then and thought her classy now. And she was loyal to a fault. She had screwed up when she had married him. He was a man with a deep problem, an addiction he couldn't seem to kick. At one time, he had felt a desire to get help but had failed to do so. Now he knew he had no choice. Every time he messed with other women, he was destroying the only person who ever truly loved him. He had to find a way to recover from his compulsive sexual behavior. It was Ashira now, but he knew eventually it would be another woman later. He couldn't go on hurting his wife this way. He had hurt her enough.
“Ron?”
He leaned down and kissed her softly and then said, “Yes, Barbara, you're my every woman.” And then he kissed her again.
“Thanks for taking me to the movies. I enjoyed it.”
Lake smiled. “So did I.”
Courtney felt her lips tingle. She wanted him to kiss her but knew friends didn't kiss. At least they didn't engage in the type of kiss she wanted. Lake had walked her to the front door. She wouldn't invite him in. It would be plain suicide to do so. She knew her limits. She also knew her weaknesses.
“Well, I better go on in. It's getting late,” she said, missing him already.
“All right. And I'll be leaving on Tuesday, going out of town for a few days. I'll be back on Thursday.”
“Oh. Well, have a nice trip.”
“I will.” And then he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Good night.”
“Good night.” And then he stood there until she had opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind her.
Courtney quickly moved to the window and glanced out. She watched Lake's tall form get inside his truck and stood at the window until he drove off. She had wanted him to kiss her. But he hadn't, only because of what she had asked of him.
Okay, so she really shouldn't be disappointed that he hadn't done so anyway. After all, she had asked for his friendship. She had told him she didn't want him for a lover, just a friend. She should be excited about the relationship they were now building. She should be grateful they were now taking things slow. Instead, she wanted to call Sonya to come over and give her one good hard kick.
Her phone rang, and she immediately glanced at the clock. It was after eleven. Who would be calling her at
this hour? Thinking it could possibly be Lake contacting her on his cell phone, she quickly crossed the room. What if he asked to come back? What if he told her he didn't like the friendship thing and wanted to be her lover again? She reached for the phone, wishing she had added caller ID to her phone plan. “Yes?”
this hour? Thinking it could possibly be Lake contacting her on his cell phone, she quickly crossed the room. What if he asked to come back? What if he told her he didn't like the friendship thing and wanted to be her lover again? She reached for the phone, wishing she had added caller ID to her phone plan. “Yes?”
“Where have you been?”
She raised a brow. “Sonya?”
“What?”
“What's wrong?” Something wasn't right. She could hear it in her cousin's voice. What was she doing calling her and not somewhere in bed with her husband? She thought newlyweds had sex all the time, or at least every chance they got. Did she and Mike have a fight?
“Sonya, where's Mike?”
“He's in bed asleep. I think I wore him out.”
Courtney smiled. Apparently they didn't have a fight, and if they did have one, they had made up. So, if it wasn't Mike, then what was wrong? “I went to the movies with Lake,” she said, deciding to answer Sonya's earlier question.
“And he's gone? You didn't invite him to spend the night?”
“No. We only went out as friends.”
She heard her cousin's deep sigh and then, “Courtney. Courtney. Courtney. When will you learn?”
“Definitely not tonight, so what's up? What got you calling this late?” she asked.
“Dad.”
“Excuse me?” Courtney said, not sure she'd heard Sonya right.
“I said Dad.”
Courtney raised a brow. “Uncle Joe?”
“Yes.”
“What about him?”
“He's going to be a father. Suzette is friggin'pregnant.”
Jetrica grabbed Courtney's hand and shook it. “Ms. A, are you listening?”
Courtney raised her head and glanced over at Jetrica, whose eyes were bright and serious. No, she hadn't been listening. Her mind was somewhere else, which wasn't fair to Jetrica. This was their time. And if she remembered correctly, Jetrica was sharing some good news with her.
“Sorry, my mind was elsewhere, Jetrica, and I apologize forâ”
“You were thinking about your boyfriend, weren't you?” Jetrica interrupted.
The question surprised Courtney. “What makes you think that?”
Jetrica rolled her eyes. “I figured as much. He's a looker. I'd think about him all the time, too.”
“Well, I don't.” Courtney leaned back in her seat, wondering how to get the conversation back on track. Jetrica had been telling her about the money she had made selling one of her paintings.
“I saw him, you know.”
Courtney raised a brow. “You saw who?”
“Your boyfriend, Mr. Masters. Me and Bethany met with him and that old lady who bought my painting on Monday. He looks pretty good to be an older guy. And he's a sharp dresser with a nice office. Bethany thinks he's good-looking too.” And then she added, “He has a picture of you on his desk.”
Courtney thought she heard Jetrica wrong. “Excuse me?”
“I said he has a picture of you on his desk. It's a picture the two of you took together.”
Courtney began racking her brain, trying to remember when she and Lake posed for a picture together, and then she did remember. That night he had taken her to the movies. While waiting for the beginning of the next show, they had walked the mall. A street vendor had been snapping pictures of anyone who walked by. She and Lake had paused long enough for him to get a shot of them. But she didn't recall Lake making arrangements to buy the picture. He must have contacted the photographer later.
“The two of you look good as a couple, like you belong together.”
Butterflies went off in Courtney's stomach. She considered Jetrica's statement as too much insight to be coming
from a teenage girl, especially one who'd had such hardships in her life. She would never have thought Jetrica had a romantic bone in her body.
from a teenage girl, especially one who'd had such hardships in her life. She would never have thought Jetrica had a romantic bone in her body.
Like you belong together.
Sonya thought the same thing, that she and Lake belonged together. Vickie, who'd heard all about Lake from her, thought so, as well. Why could they see the very thing she couldn't? Why was it so hard to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, there was a man capable of being both her friend as well as her lover, no matter what order they came in? A man who wouldn't be unfaithful like her father and uncle. A man who was what dreams were made of. A man who represented the male species in such a way that couldn't get any better.
Deciding to steer the conversation off Lake, Courtney said, “Now that you are Madam Artist, how would you like to have a private showing of all of your work in my home?”
She saw Jetrica's gaze light up. “Wow! That would be neat. I'd like that.”
Courtney smiled. “Okay, let's get together next week and plan one for the summer. Now what were you saying before my mind started drifting?”
Jetrica leaned in closer with excitement in her eyes. “I said with the money I'm making off that painting, Bethany and I will use it to move into a bigger apartment on the other side of town, one in a safer neighborhood. And after putting money into an account for my college, there will be enough left over for Bethany to start taking classes again at the university. Isn't all that neat?”
At that moment, Courtney felt a lot of gratitude in her heart for Lake and what he'd done to bring that sparkle to Jetrica's eyes. “Yes,” she said, smiling. “All that is really neat.”
“Are you going to invite Courtney to Mom's birthday party?”
Lake glanced across the table at Grey. Their mother would be turning sixty-five next month, and all the Masterses would be headed to Savannah for the celebration. He knew why Grey was asking. It would be the perfect time to introduce Courtney to the family as the woman he intended to marry.
“At the moment no. I was moving too fast, and she asked that I slow it down.”
Grey chuckled. “You were getting too overwhelming, uhh?”
“I suppose.”
“Masterses have a tendency to do that at times.”
Lake took a sip of his drink and then asked, “Were you?”
Grey smiled. “I probably was, but then my focus was on trying to keep Brandy alive.”
Lake nodded. Brandy's cousins had hired Grey as Brandy's bodyguard when she began receiving threats against her life.
“So how slow are you moving things now?” Grey asked.
Lake couldn't help but think about the last time he'd seen her, a week ago today. He had taken her to a movie and had returned her home and left her there ⦠without
kissing her good-bye. At least not what he considered as a real kiss. That had been hard. It had been even harder not picking up the phone to call her whenever he thought about her. She wanted space, and he was giving it to her. But he didn't like it. He especially didn't like the ache he felt every time he thought about her or the nights he had lain in bed missing her.
kissing her good-bye. At least not what he considered as a real kiss. That had been hard. It had been even harder not picking up the phone to call her whenever he thought about her. She wanted space, and he was giving it to her. But he didn't like it. He especially didn't like the ache he felt every time he thought about her or the nights he had lain in bed missing her.
“Too slow. I think it's time for me to start speeding things up a little.”
Grey laughed. “Now why doesn't that surprise me?”
Ron knew he had decisions to make, and the first one would be regarding Ashira. He and Barbara had arrived back in Orlando a few days ago, and he knew what he had to do. First he would break off with Ashira, and then he would tell Barbara the truth. Chances were he would lose her, but he couldn't continue deceiving her, living a lie.
And then he planned on getting help. Already he had gone on the Internet and researched his problem and had gathered quite a bit of information on sexual addiction. He had discovered that it was among the least talked about and least understood addictions, but it was a reality that affected thousands of people.
The good thing was that there was help to those who wanted it. He had an appointment with a psychotherapist next week and actually looked forward to the visit. Knowing there was a chance of recovery gave him hope.
He rubbed his hand down his face. He hadn't seen or talked to Ashira since Hawaii. He never gave a thought to
visiting her hotel room after that special night with Barbara. The only woman he had wanted to be with had been his wife, but he was afraid that desire would soon wear off if he didn't get the help he needed.
visiting her hotel room after that special night with Barbara. The only woman he had wanted to be with had been his wife, but he was afraid that desire would soon wear off if he didn't get the help he needed.
Later that evening after staying after hours for a staff meeting, Ron was making his way across the parking lot to his car. It was Friday and just beginning to get dark. Most of the students had already left campus to start their weekend, so the parking lot was basically deserted. He thought about the stop he had to make before he got home. He had called Ashira and told her to expect his visit. He could tell from the tone of her voice that she was annoyed that he hadn't called sooner or that he hadn't tried contacting her any more while they were in Hawaii. He offered no excuses and gave no apologies, which he knew probably angered her even more.
Ron knew Ashira would make ending things with her difficult. She had enjoyed being the center of his attention, had liked getting all the things he bought for her, liked thinking she controlled him with the kind of kinky sex he liked. But all that would have to end. And then later tonight when he got home, he would tell Barbara everything, especially the fact that he had acknowledged his problem and was seeking professional help. He hoped. He prayed that she would forgive him and give him another chance to be the husband to her that he believed that he could be.
He was about to open his car door when he heard someone call his name. The voice was hard to discern, and he turned around. He looked at the person standing
almost five feet away from him, saw the gun flash, and heard a loud popping sound at the same time he felt a sudden pain slice through his body. The last thing he remembered was losing his grip on reality and succumbing to icy darkness.
almost five feet away from him, saw the gun flash, and heard a loud popping sound at the same time he felt a sudden pain slice through his body. The last thing he remembered was losing his grip on reality and succumbing to icy darkness.
Knowing when to admit you were wrong was everything, Courtney thought as she stood in front of Lake's door. Doubt had messed with her mind, had convinced her that there was no possible way a man could see her one day and decide without exchanging one word with her, that she was the woman for him. Typically, relationships between men and women didn't develop that way, but she now accepted that with some people, anything was possible.
Lake Masters, she believed, was one of those people. He saw what he wanted. He went after it. And he didn't give up until he got it. His strategy had been so smooth, as suave as anything could be and as persuasive as it could get. She had put up a shield to protect her heart, but he'd found an opening and had wiggled his way inside anyway. The man worked fast. He was definitely thorough. He was capable of stripping you of your defenses. And she had come to a decision that she wanted to be both his friend and lover, and it no longer mattered to her in what order they came. She would eventually become both. She knew that she loved him.
Taking a deep breath, she rang his doorbell. He wasn't expecting her. Would probably be surprised to see her.
She hoped he would welcome her inside and hear what she had to say.
She hoped he would welcome her inside and hear what she had to say.
The door opened and he stood there, as sexy as any man could be. He was casually dressed in a pair of jeans and a pullover shirt. And as she scanned lower, she saw he was in his bare feet. He looked at home. He looked mouth-wateringly good. He looked like the man she wanted.
“Courtney?”
Just from the sound of her name off his lips, she felt a tightening in her stomach, a sudden throb between her legs. Boy, she had it bad. She moved her gaze back up to his face to stare at him, and he stared straight back at her. She drew in a deep breath, cleared her throat. “Hi, Lake,” she finally said. “May I come in?”
“Sure.”
He moved aside, and when she passed him, she caught his scent. Ultra male. Sexy as hell. She turned to face him when he closed the door behind her. “I hope I'm not catching her at a bad time. Maybe I should have called first.”
“No, you're not catching me at a bad time, and as far as calling first, you don't have to do that. You'll always be welcome to my home at any time, Courtney.”
“Thanks.”
“You're welcome.”
She thought their words sounded too formal, almost stilted. And she knew why. She had requested friendship, and he was giving her just what she wanted, just what she had asked for.
“Would you like something to drink?”
She shook her head. “No thanks.” And then glanced around, “You have a nice place.”
“Thanks.”
“You're welcome.”
She saw his lips lift and knew what he thought was funny. “We're a bunch of nice people today, aren't we?” she said, chuckling. “All nice and polite.”
“How would you prefer I be?”
She met his gaze. Understood what he was asking her. His voice had changed when he'd asked the question. It had lowered. It had a seductive tone and was sending shivers all through her body.
“Courtney?”
She inhaled deeply as she crossed the room, pressed as closed to him as her body could, and then wrapped her arms around his neck. “Naughty. I prefer for you to be as naughty as you can get.”
She saw the flicker of a yearning in his eyes. “What about your friendship thing?”
Arching against him, she felt his hardness. It was thick, engorged. She reached her hand down and cupped him. Heard his sharp intake of breath when she did so. Then she began fondling him through his jeans. “I want to be both your friend and your lover, Lake. Tonight I need to be your lover. Please let me.”
The yearning in his eyes turned to heated desire and then a scorching promise. “Do you know what you're asking for?”
“Yes,” she said, stretching up against him. “But tomorrow is Saturday, so I don't have to worry about being
physically able to go to work. So don't hold anything back.”
physically able to go to work. So don't hold anything back.”
He bent his head, came close to her lips, and whispered, “I won't.”
And then he was scooping her into his arms while kissing her, taking her straight into what she figured was his bedroom. It wasn't. It was a game room. She noticed that fact the moment he pressed her back against an air hockey table. She took only a minute to glance around to see all the other equipment in the room, and she knew that before the night was over, he would take her on every single piece. Tonight he intended to be extremely naughty.
He didn't waste time removing her clothes, tossing them out of his way. Then he removed his and did likewise. She held his gaze when he stood between her open legs. “We're about ready to play?” she asked.
He gave her a smile that intensified the throbbing in her womanly core. “Yeah, we're about ready to play. You know the rules?”
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