Her Lover (106 page)

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Authors: Albert Cohen

BOOK: Her Lover
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'Darling, this is the beginning of a new life, our real life, isn't it?'

 

 

CHAPTER 90

'How time flies, fourth of Febbry today, and Febbry hath only twenty eight, like it says in the rhyme, and is the bad-temperedest month of the lot, two months I been here already at this Agay place, they don't give poor ole Mariette a second thought unless they need her, and she was lucky to catch me before I left Geneva, if she'd sent that terrygram a week later she'd have found me gone seeing as how I had this fancy to pop up to see my sister and have a look round Paris 'cos I'm very strong on Family, why on the very morning the terrygram come I was only saying just before the terrygram was delivered I was saying to meself Mariette you got to enjoy yourself a bit 'cos you're not getting any younger it'll soon be time you started thinking of getting measured for your box there are times when I'm right down in the dumps you'd never believe how low I get, anyroad I was ready for the off seeing as how I'd already handed ole Face-Ache my notice what with Monsieur Adrien being over his upset and just about to go off to Africa on his political travels it was mainly on his account that I'd stayed so long but to have to put up with ole Face-Ache going on all hours of the day saying how Madame Ariane had no morals calling her a tart was the bally limit, of course it upset me to go on account of Monsieur Hippolyte never a word from him against Madame Ariane, but that's how things go love's got a mind of its own love's a bird that grows up wild like the song says, but anyroad as soon as Monsieur Adrien went off to Africa I felt easy in my mind that I could go for a bit of a look round Paris and have a chance to get over the turn I had what a shock seeing him there with his head covered in blood, 'cos late that night I thought to meself it's no good I just gotter go and find out how things stand, it's what they call a premonitition 'cos when I'd been as usual that morning not suspecting anything was up not even knowing he was back he said he didn't need me 'cos Madame Ariane had gone away and was never coming back then he shut the door in my face but in a sad way not an angry way, all day long I kept asking meself shall I go back or shan't I but I didn't dare go on account of the look on his face and then about eleven at night I thought it's no good I'm going, so I get dressed quickly put my hat on the black one that's so pretty and I fetch the key she gave me a key so as I wouldn't go ringing the doorbell of a morning, in I go everything quiet as the grave nobody downstairs so I go upstairs, nobody in his room, I go into his washroom, there he was, poor lad, on his knees on the floor looking like a corpse with his head covered in blood on the stool poor lamb, it fair knocked the stuffing out of me, the gun on the floor and me not knowing what to do for the best, I thought get the police so I tried to call the police straight away on the terryphone but terryphones are awkward beggars the receiver thing shook in my hand something terrible so quick I run round to get my friend who works as a maid for the neighbours next door, no oil-painting but ever so nice and well-spoken, she throws a coat over her nightie and runs back with me to the scene of the tragedy to phone for the police, she's ejucated knows how to put things, then for the doctor as a matter of fact it was the one from Cologny just up the road which was handy, Dr Saladin, nice-looking man, anyway to cut a long story short the doctor just took one look at him and saw he wasn't a goner but he needed treating pretty sharpish, so quick send for the ambulance, in fact it was my idea to call round that saved his bacon, You saved his life, my dear, Dr Saladin says to me, his very words, now just picture the sort of tizz I was in being caught up in the tragical middle of a love story gone wrong but you gotter hand it to me I was quick off the mark with the right ideas such as telling my friend the maid to send a terrygram straight away to ole Face-Ache to say she was to come back spit-spot on the double, she was away in Belgium looking after some rich ole biddy prob'ly to get her name put down in her will she don't miss a trick that one take it from me, but anyroad she comes rushing back 'cos give her her due she thinks the sun shines out of her Didi, you should have heard her going on something chronic about Madame Ariane to Monsieur Hippolyte, a tigress wasn't in it, of course I had to tell Madame Ariane all about it 'cos she hadn't heard a thing seeing as how nobody knew her address, so the minute I got here I'd hardly got my coat off before she was asking me how Monsieur Adrien was, meaning how he'd taken her going off like that, 'cos she didn't know anything about the tragedy of love at the end of its tether, asking after his health looking a bit shamefaced but caring too, so then I just had to tell her everything 'cos she had no idea, his head covered in blood, the whole lot, the bullet in his temple, just think, but it hadn't gone in very deep, she wept buckets, eyes all puffy and red as if they'd had paprika put in them, the strong sort, blowing her nose all the time blaming herself, you see her conscience was telling her it was all her fault, the wages of sin as they say, anyroad I calmed her down, he's fine now I said, I even told a lie by making out he'd put on weight, she said that Monsieur Solal mustn't know, that I wasn't to mention the tragedy, so as I was saying her terrygram upset all my plans seeing as how after Paris at my sister's I was counting on finding meself a new position got to I need the money and besides I get so down when I don't keep on the go, oh I wouldn't have liked being a princess, I think I'll make meself a nice little cup of coffee, so I was thinking that when I got back from my sister's, she's got a very nice job, caretaker for the Aga Khan, I'd look around for another position I was thinking that even before I went off to Paris to see my sister, we're very fond of each other closer than twins we are and besides there was the business of the Spaniard and I wanted to see her to talk it through with her 'cos my niece has been put in the family way by a Spaniard he's a waiter in a cafe very dark-skinned seems he's got a bit of the Arab in the background and now that he's got her into trouble he don't want to marry her they're all the same so I says to meself I'd better go and sort it out, give the dago a piece of my mind seems he's an ugly devil got hair all over him even got hairs sprouting in his ears, that's how they like them these days, that's modern girls for you, now if you'd have seen my hubby, but anyway as I was saying even before I went off to Paris to sort out this business of my niece I was thinking of going over and telling Monsieur Agrippa that when I got back from seeing my sister and her daughter who's been left in the lurch by a rotter, my niece that is, that I'd be free to do for him but only on condition that he gives that Euphrosine the elbow because I just won't be bossed around by a jumped-up nobody, but just then Madame Ariane's terrygram arrives and when it comes to choosing she'll always come first 'cos I powdered her little botty when she was a baby, I'd hardly got the terrygram when I thought quick get yourself round to Monsieur Agrippa's and tell him his niece's address but then I says to meself hold your horses my girl in the first place it's delicate seeing as how Monsieur Agrippa is so very proper and in the second maybe she don't want anybody to know where she's gone to not even her uncle but later on she told me she'd written to him and put him in the picture, it must have been a shock to the poor man what with him being so proper and religious to find out that his darling niece had been carrying on something chronic, anyway to get back to the beginning and what I was saying about how quick off the mark I am, speedy is my middle name, the day after I got the terrygram I was already settled in here helping Madame Ariane in all sorts of ways, chipping in with advice about furniture fittings and carpets, she had to have the finest sheets, I daren't think of the cost, and all this time he didn't show his face seeing as how she'd told him he was to stay in Cannes, his lordship was above such things, couldn't bear to see all the scrubbing and that, but she did go to Cannes twice, no I tell a lie, three times she went, for a bit of slap and tickle of course though she reckoned it was to talk about furniture, but not more than three times seeing as how she was so set on getting everything good and ready here for her fancy man, everything had to look very grand, just like on the stage, what took most time was the two extra lavs, no shut up don't make me larf, I'll tell you all about it, I don't like it here, all that sea water in wintertime is ever so gloomy, good job they got the central heating 'cos though it's supposed to be hot all the time on your Riviera it's not true, with the wind they get here take it from me hot it isn't, and besides it's too near the sea, I just can't get used to the noise of the sea, at night it's like dead men singing, I came here for her sake, good job the hotel I'm staying in said I could have a room without board, oh it's quite small, a sort of working man's hotel, it's just got six rooms and a cafe downstairs, good job it's a fair way from the sea, you don't get the noise of the waves yowling like souls in torment, it was her that didn't want me here at night, said there wasn't enough room, oh there's plenty of room but I know the real reason, she wants her big romance with tall dark Mr Handsome to be a secret, with nobody to see them at night when they're spooning and lovey-doveying, you know love's old dream love's sweet dream, I'll tell you all about it, there's heaps of time 'cos I got everything ready and besides Romeo and Juliet are out for a stroll, but there's stacks of work to do here I even worked Xmas Day just like it was an ordinary day, I even come in on Sundays, 'cos everything has to be just so for his nibs the Prince of Passion, just like on the films, poor Didi nobody ever did as much for you, though come to think of it if I didn't come in on a Sunday I'd only get bored all by meself in my room, 'cos I haven't got to know a soul in the hotel don't want to they're a common lot, but as I was saying every day it's temple-of-love stuff with the pair of them priesting and priestessing nineteen to the dozen, and the way she runs round tending him hand and foot, always telling me mind he don't see that, mind he don't find out, watch out for this, watch out for that, he don't like this and he don't like that, oh no nobody ever got so soppy over poor ole Didi though he was always nice to me always had a kind word for me, but Prince Charming don't talk to me much don't even look at me, mark my words her uncle, I mean Monsieur Agrippa, will leave her everything house the lot in his will, the house at Champel that is, and she'll sell it see if she don't, 'cos she won't dare go back to Geneva to live, she'll get thousands and thousands for it seeing as how it's the old style of house very grand and all them grounds and in the poshest part of town land don't come cheap, not that she'll get all it fetches seeing as how the bank and lawyers and the rest have sticky fingers and eyes that's bigger than their bellies, to my mind Monsieur Agrippa hasn't got long to go, he's as thin as I don't know thin as a stick of wild asparagus the spindly green sort that's got more flavour than the cultivated kind, to my mind going by how he behaves he can't ever have touched a woman, oh no he's not got long.for this world, so when it comes down to it even doctors snuff it for all the knowing airs they put on, 'cos when your time is up it's up, ah poor ole Mariette your turn will come, you didn't make the most of your chances when you were young and now you've got big swelled-up legs like a elephant in the circus, but as I was saying she'd hardly sent the terrygram before I was here, that was on the fourth of December, the pair of us set to and by the eighteenth everything was shipshape mind you she was handing out the tips right left and centre I just shut my eyes so I wouldn't know how much she was giving away, both of us slaved harder than darky women, everything looks fine now all except the kitchen which is too white makes the place look like a horspital, I don't care for it meself, and another thing, that electric stove isn't much cop for frying on, and you can't turn the heat down low low like you can with gas, and it takes ages to get hot, and then the hotplate stays hot as anything after you've finished with it, no I can't get on with it, but I didn't say anything, he who pays the piper calls the tune like Monsieur Pasteur used to say, the drawing-room the dining-room all very tasty in a plain sort of way, but no ornaments and suchlike, knick-knacks do cheer a place up make it cosy, now his bedroom is all white carpet and white velvet I don't care for that, and the lighting is the kind where you can't see where the bulbs are, and as for that bed of hers it's so low I get backache with bending over when I make it, it's a proper musolino-leum, very showy you could get a couple of camels in it and still have room left, it beats me, the best thing about this place is that everything's on the ground floor, no stairs and that suits my various veins, anyway on the eighteenth, an hour before he was due back Are you comfy in your room at the hotel Mariette she says to me, no shut up now it was her way of leading up to getting me out of the way, Yes says I but being one to speak my mind I says I'd have rather been staying here 'specially 'cos me being there means you've got the hotel bill to pay, Yes but there's no room here she says, I didn't say anything to that but it's not true that there isn't room here, in the first place there's the box-room, and in the second there's the attic which could have been done out very nice except that to get there it's ladder not stairs, Get away with you you two-faced little monkey says I to meself, that's all flummery the truth of the matter is that you don't want me around spying on your secret kissing and canoodling when he gets back, Look Mariette says she he'll be here in half an hour so I'm giving you the rest of the day off, But I don't mind staying says I, so then she says It's a special day we haven't seen each other for two weeks, I could have said And what about the three times you went to see him then but I didn't lower meself, Very well says I, all dignified like, You can have your dinner at the hotel says she, I can't stand throwing money down the drain says I politely, you know how nose-in-the-air I can be, I'll have a bit of cheese on my way out says I, my pride was hurt you see, being turned out like that as if I was some stranger, 'cos in my mind's eye lying in bed at night, as good as the flicks is my bed, I'd been seeing the two of us

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