Her Mother's Daughter (21 page)

Bay nodded again.

“You have to go upstairs and tell her you love her. She's frightened and she needs you.”

“This is my fault, you know.”

Tansy squeezed her hand. “That's not true. How is it your fault?”

“I've been preoccupied with Mom's death and I didn't pay enough attention to her, so she went and found it somewhere else.”

“Nonsense. She fell in love with a boy, that's all.”

Tears fell down Bay's cheeks. “She's only a baby. Her life is ruined.”

“It's not ruined. We'll figure it out. Go and talk to her.”

Bay stood and wiped her face with her hands, then looked down at Tansy. “I'll let you help me with this because I'm smart enough to know I need help, but don't for one minute think I've forgiven you for what you've done to Dermot and me.”

She walked back into the house.

As Bay climbed the stairs, her mind went blank and her feet got heavier with every step. She had to rest before she reached the landing. Tansy told her to talk to Ashley. And say what, exactly? All the words would be wrong, because nothing about this was right.

She knocked on her daughter's bedroom door and opened it. Ashley sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, her face streaked with tears. She broke down the minute she saw her mother. “I'm sorry,” she cried. “Don't hate me. Don't hate Matt.”

Bay sat on the bed and gathered Ashley in her arms. “I could never hate you.”

Ashley cried for a long time as Bay rocked her. When she quieted down, Bay reached for a box of tissues and passed it to her.

Ashley dried her eyes. “I don't know what to do.”

“Have you told Matt?”

She nodded. “He's telling his mother today.”

Bay rubbed the back of her own neck. “Oh, God.”

“I know. She's going to kill me.”

“She'll have to get through me first.”

That put a small smile on Ashley's face.

“She should be concerned with her own child,” Bay sighed. “And you are children, despite what's happened.”

“I love him.”

“So you say.”

“I do!”

“I know you do. But with love comes responsibility—”

Ashley jumped up from the bed. “I don't need a lecture about how irresponsible I am. It's not going to help, Mom. I need someone to tell me what to do.”

“All right. Sit down. It's not going to help either of us if you think I'm the enemy. I'm your mother and I want to support you, but this is a shock. It's going to take me a little time to absorb it.”

Ashley sat on the edge of the bed. “My whole life is over. I can't go to school in September, I can't be with my friends, I can't go to parties and hang out because I'll have a little baby to take care of and I have no idea how to do it. I'm so stupid.”

Bay reached out and pushed her daughter's hair behind her ear. “Listen, sweetheart, you're not the first and you certainly won't be the last girl to find herself in this position. And it took two people to make this baby, so don't take all the blame. Matt has just as much to answer for.”

“He's so upset.”

“He should be. Why didn't you use protection?”

“We did…except maybe once.”

Bay gave a big sigh. “Once is all you need. Oh God, Ashley. I can't believe it.”

“That makes two of us.”

They sat together and didn't say anything for a few minutes. Finally Bay asked, “Have you given any thought to your options?”

Ashley bit her fingers. “I don't think I could have an abortion. I'd feel so guilty. But I don't think I can take care of it, either. What if I dropped it?”

“It's not an it. It will be a real live baby girl or boy. That's a huge responsibility. Once you're a mother, you never stop being a mother. It's a never-ending job.”

“You think I should give it up for adoption?”

“I don't know.” Bay got up from the bed and walked over to the window. She pulled the curtains aside and looked out over the street. Everything looked the same and yet everything was completely different. It was like being in some weird time warp. Last time she'd looked out this window her daughter had been a young carefree girl with nothing to worry about. Now Ashley would be someone's mother, and that made Bay a grandmother. Wasn't she too young to be a grandmother? She turned away from the window. “We can't think straight right now. I think we need some time before we make any decisions.”

“Please don't make Tansy leave. I don't want us to be alone. I feel better when she's in the house. I feel safer, don't you?”

Bay bit her lip before she answered. “I won't make her leave. We do need her. I know that.”

“Why were you fighting? She's your sister. I don't understand it.”

“It's complicated.” Bay walked to the door. “I'm going to make you an appointment with the doctor.”

“Do I have to?”

Bay turned around. “Ashley, you don't have the luxury of being a whiny teenager anymore. You're about to be someone's mother. You have to take care of yourself and that little life you carry inside you. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but now that it has, you have to live up to what's needed of you. I hate to say it, but you really should have thought about this before you slept with Matt.”

Ashley fell back on the bed and grabbed her pillow to cover her face. And as much as Bay wanted to take her in her arms, she knew that her daughter needed to face the truth alone.

Closing the bedroom door quietly behind her, Bay headed straight for the bathroom and locked herself in. She stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower. As soon as the water hit her face, she started to cry. Her shoulders shook with her sobbing. How had this happened? What was she going to do? Why wasn't her mom here to help her? All she wanted was to close her eyes and never wake up. This was all too much. Much too much.

If Bay thought the first few moments after Ashley's confession were bad, she was sadly mistaken. They were nothing compared to the confrontation with Matt's mother, Ruth. When her car zoomed into the driveway, the three Gillis women were at the kitchen table. Tansy had finally convinced them that they needed to eat something; she heated up a couple of cans of tomato soup and served it with crackers and cheese. To sit together and have lunch did help, but it couldn't completely erase the sensation of being hit by a freight train.

Ashley kept a comforter around her as she ate. She did that when she had a bad day or was home sick from school. It made her look about ten years old. When she heard the car tires scrunch the gravel outside the kitchen window, she looked at her mother with big eyes.

“Oh no, that's her. I know it is. I can't see her.”

Tansy grabbed Ashley's arm as she tried to get out of the chair. “Don't you go anywhere.”

“I can't face her…”

“You don't have to hide and you have nothing be ashamed of. Hold your head up. Your mother and I are here with you.”

Bay gave Tansy a grateful look. “She's right, honey. Be calm.”

Ashley sat back down and hugged the comforter closer to her body. They heard the car door slam and then seconds later Ruth was at the screen door.

“Come in, Ruth. It's open,” Bay said.

Ruth walked into the kitchen breathing fire. Merlin took one look at her and cowered on his mat. “I can't believe it. I can't
believe
it. Didn't I tell you they were up to no good? Didn't I tell you to get your daughter on birth control pills?”

“Ruth…”

“His life is ruined.
Ruined!
And it's all because of this little madam.” She pointed at Ashley.

Bay stood up. “Stop it right now, Ruth. I don't intend to trade insults with you.”

Ruth looked at Ashley. “How could you do this? You knew he wanted to go away to university. You did this so he wouldn't leave, didn't you? Matt was going to make something of himself, and now what's he going to do? How's he supposed to support a child? How's he supposed to be a father at seventeen?”

Ashley trembled. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry doesn't fix it, does it?”

Now it was Tansy's turn to stand up. “I suggest you leave before you say something you'll regret.”

Ruth gave Tansy a filthy look. “Who are you?”

“I'm Ashley's aunt—”

“Tansy?” Ruth looked incredulous. “Well, well, isn't this interesting. I see that behaving like an alley cat runs in the family.”

Bay slammed her fist on the table. “Get out of my house. How dare you come in here and say such mean things? Believe it or not, Ruth, we're in shock too, but you don't see us insulting Matt. How is this going to make anything better, for any of us?”

Before Ruth could answer they heard another car pull into the driveway, only this time two doors slammed and a moment later Matt ran into the kitchen, his father on his heels. He pushed past his mother and put his arms around Ashley, who stood up the minute she saw him.

“I told you not to come here, Mom. Why don't you listen? You have no business making everyone miserable.”

“I'm not the one who's made our lives miserable,” Ruth shouted. “That's all thanks to you and this little tramp.”

“
Ruth.
” Matt's father, Ian, grabbed his wife's arm. “Apologize this instant.”

Ruth sobbed into her husband's shirt. He looked over her head at the others.

“Please forgive her, she's distraught. She shouldn't have come here. I'll take her home.”

“Good,” Tansy answered. “And keep her away from us. We're having a hard enough time as it is without being bullied and insulted by your wife.”

Ian started for the back door, with Ruth still sobbing in his arms, but he turned his head. “I want you to come home too, Matt.”

“Can't he stay?” Ashley cried. “I need him.”

“Not tonight,” Bay said. “I think both of our families need some alone time together. We'll obviously be in touch, Ian.”

“Yes. Thanks, Bay.”

Matt gave Ashley a big hug before he let her go. “I'll call you when I get home.”

She nodded and dried her face with the corner of her comforter. “I love you.”

He smiled but didn't say anything, obviously embarrassed to repeat it in front of their parents, so he gave her a quick wave.

When the MacLeans left, the three Gillis women collapsed back into their kitchen chairs. They were dazed, as if they'd been boxing for a couple of rounds. Merlin hurried over and put his head in Bay's lap. She rubbed his ears.

“I should've sicced Merlin on her.”

They grimaced at each other, comrades together after the first battle.

Just then Gertie appeared at the back door. “Yoohoo, only me. Can you believe I'm now walking on my lunch hour?” She came into the kitchen holding a paper bag. “Someone give me a medal and put the kettle on.”

The three of them stared at her.

Gertie stared back. “What's wrong?”

“I'm having a baby,” said Ashley.

“Oh, hardy har har.” Gertie sat at the table and looked at them all. “So are you going to tell me or what?”

No one spoke.

Gertie's eyes got wider and wider. “For real?”

They nodded.

Gertie burst into tears. She howled so loud Merlin ran around the table and barked at her. The other three jumped up and began to wring their hands.

“Gertie, stop it!” Tansy said. “You're not helping.”

“I'm sorry! Oh my God!”

“Even I had a better reaction than that,” Bay shouted at her.

“Gertie, please don't hate me!” Ashley cried.