Her Secondhand Groom (30 page)

Juliet cleared her throat and idly plucked the pleat in her skirt. “This is what you want, isn’t it?”

Emma’s eyes went wide. “Of course it is. I’ve always dreamt of marrying Marcus and having children. This is exactly what I wanted.”

Juliet waved her off. “I know. But do you―”

“
I think what Juliet is trying to ask is if you’re sure you’re ready for this?” Caroline interjected.

Emma ran her hands along the length of her skirt. “It all seems so sudden, doesn’t it?”

Juliet and Caroline nodded.

Emma jumped up from the settee and started pacing. “I mean, I just married Marcus less than three months ago and now I’m to be a mother.” She stopped her steps and gestured to Caroline. “At least you had nine months to become accustomed to the idea.”

A smile curved Caroline’s lips. “Nine weeks, nine months, or nine years wouldn’t change what you’re feeling right now. Every woman is nervous before she has her first child.”

“
Truly?”

Caroline nodded again. “The last few weeks before I delivered Edward, I nearly drove Alex to the brink of insanity.”

Emma didn’t look too convinced.

“
As a person who falls into the nine seconds category, maybe I can be of help,” Juliet said, catching the attention of both of her friends.

“
Nine
seconds
?” Emma repeated doubtfully.

Juliet nodded once. “Nine seconds. See...uh...well, it’s not important as to why I had such a short time to become accustomed to being thrust into motherhood, but that’s the truth. I had just a matter of seconds. But that doesn’t change the nervous feelings. I had them, too, trust me.”

“
You did?” Emma asked, blinking.

“
Yes.” Why would Emma not think Juliet would be nervous about the prospect of being a mother?

As if able to read her thoughts, Emma said, “But I thought you grew up with a herd of younger brothers and sisters.”

“
I did. But they were my siblings, not my children.”

Emma’s brow knit. “Were you worried Drake’s girls wouldn’t like you?”

Ah, so
that
was what this was about. Emma was afraid the child wouldn’t like her. That didn’t seem such an unusual feeling for someone who was about to become a mother to a child they didn’t give birth to. Juliet padded over to her friend and wrapped an arm around her. “Emma, there is no need to worry. This little boy or girl will love you no matter what. I promise.”

“
But I’m not his real―”

“
None of that,” Juliet told her sternly. “As far as he or she is concerned, you’re their mother.”

They sat together on the sofa across from Caroline.

“
Was it hard for you?”

“
What?”

“
Becoming attached to Drake’s girls,” Emma said as if Juliet were a simpleton.

Juliet cocked her head to the side. She’d never really thought of how her relationship with Drake’s girls came to be. It’d just happened. “No, Emma. It wasn’t hard at all to grow so attached to Drake’s girls. I know I’m not their mother in a biological sense, and they know it, too, but that doesn’t affect our relationship one way or the other.”

“
What do you mean by one way or the other?”

Juliet smiled. “Well, just because I’m not their mother biologically doesn’t keep me from acting as if I am when it comes to things they’ll love me for, such as spoiling them with treats from the kitchen on Friday afternoons. But it also doesn’t stop me from disciplining them when they’ve been naughty―”

“
Drake’s girls, naughty?” Caroline burst out, easing the tension in the room. “Well, I never.”

Juliet and Emma both grinned. “You’d be surprised just
how
naughty those little darlings can be,” Emma said with a chuckle.

“
I’m sure you were able to witness them at their finest during your week as their governess, weren’t you?” Juliet asked, recalling all the naughty little things she’d caught them doing to avoid finishing their lessons.

“
Though you acted as their governess far longer than I did, I have a suspicion I witnessed far more dastardly deeds than you did.”

“
I just bet you did,” Juliet agreed. “At least I was able to get them to get
some
work done. The way I heard it, they somehow managed to get you to write their letters for them, then they got to pierce your eardrums playing horrible music.”

Emma shook her head. “That was exactly how our days went. But I heard you were quite the taskmaster, Juliet. Marcus and I were nearly astonished when Celia sent us a perfectly scrolled note of thanks after we sent her those books for her birthday.”

“
Just so,” Juliet said, unable to stop the pride she felt on her stepdaughter’s behalf from showing. “But that’s just it, Emma. Though I was acting as their governess, I was still also acting as their mother, and I didn’t let my fear of what they may do or what their father may say, deter me from being as stern as I needed to be with them.”

Caroline snorted. “Juliet, dearest, I have a hard time picturing you being afraid of anyone, especially those three little girls.”

“
Oh, they’re something to fear.” Emma’s stern voice and wide eyes gave Juliet pause. They might have a few bad habits, but they weren’t rotten. “Someone told me that Mrs. Jenkins was concerned about Kate’s unusual closeness with her pillow after she’d unsuccessfully tried to smother Mrs. Jenkins with it while she was sleeping.”

“
Kate?” Caroline squeaked.

Emma nodded. “Kate.”

“
I hope you didn’t believe that,” Juliet said.

“
Every word.” Emma’s green eyes held a telling gleam.

“
No, you didn’t. Only a fool would believe that, and I don’t take you for a fool.” A burble of laughter built up in Juliet’s throat. “That someone who told you that was Drake, wasn’t it?”

Emma’s lips twitched. “How did you know?”

Juliet rolled her eyes and fell back against the settee. “I may not have known my husband as long as you two have, but I do know his awful attempt at a jest when I hear it. That has Drake’s humor stamped all over it.”

“
Don’t worry, Caroline,” Emma said. “At the time he said it, I didn’t realize it was a jest, either. Marcus had to tell me.”

Caroline smiled. “That was the worst jest I’ve ever heard. But see, it just goes to prove my point, those three little girls are nothing to be afraid of.”

Juliet almost replied, but Emma stole the words straight from her mouth. “Caroline, you have no idea what those little girls are capable of. I’ll spare you the details so Edward can demonstrate for you just what children are capable of when you manage to make a temporary enemy of them.”

Caroline still didn’t look convinced as she leaned back and carelessly played with the fingertips of her glove.

“
Emma?” Juliet asked a moment later when the room had grown quiet again. “Is there another reason you’re afraid to welcome this baby as yours?”

“
What do you mean?”

Juliet sighed. “Are you worried that given the situation revolving around this child’s birth you might not love him as much?”

“
You mean because he’s a bastard? No.”

“
Well, there’s that, but that’s not what I meant. What about―”

“
His mother being a madwoman?” Emma asked. “No. Nor do I have any fears the child will become a Bedlamite, either.” She exhaled. “I don’t believe Marcus would allow it. I think Olivia was allowed far too much freedom as a child and was spoiled silly. That’s why she’s this way.”

Caroline nodded sadly. “Aunt Bea used to indulge her every whim, same with Uncle Joseph. Marcus is the only person I’ve ever witnessed who tried to control her, but it was too late.”

I’d say
. Juliet cleared her throat, and simultaneously her mind of its impolite thought. “I understand that, Emma. But what about the fact your first child isn’t your own? Does that bother you?”

Emma blinked. “No. Should it?”

Juliet shrugged. “It shouldn’t matter, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.” She tried to keep her tone calm and gentle.

“
Not to me, it doesn’t.” Emma leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees.

“
Are you certain?” Juliet’s eyes searched Emma’s upturned face, but found nothing out of place. “Nobody would think any less of you if you would have preferred your and Lord Sinclair’s first child to have been one you two had made together.”

Emma blushed at Juliet’s indirect mention of her and her husband’s use of their marital bed, in turn making Juliet’s flush grow even deeper. “That never had anything to do with it,” Emma assured her with a weak smile. “Marcus and I―” she swallowed and tucked a blonde tendril of her hair behind her ear― “we can’t have children of our own so it’s of no concern really as to whom the biological parents are.”

“
Then what is your concern?” Juliet asked, blinking. She truly didn’t know whether to be sympathetic to the fact her friend couldn’t have children of her own, or be overjoyed on her behalf that such an unusual twist of fate had allowed this opportunity.

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know that I have a concern anymore, Juliet. You’ve already given me some invaluable advice, and I thank you for it.”

“
Good,” Juliet agreed, relaxing. “If you need any more, come see me.”

“
I will,” Emma said, her face nearly glowing. “Thank you, Juliet, you’re a good friend, and one day we’ll both be there for you when it’s your turn.”

“
That we will,” Caroline agreed, eying Juliet’s stomach. “You don’t think...”

Juliet shook her head. “No. I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway.”

“
Not to worry, dear,” Emma said. “Your time is coming.”

A slow, wistful smile spread across Juliet’s face. “I sure hope so. It’s been long enough.”

“
Long enough?” Caroline asked with a smile. “There is not a certain amount of time that has to pass before you conceive.”

Emma snorted. “This being said by the woman who must have been a rabbit in her past life. Married one, too.”

Caroline rolled her eyes, then looked at Juliet. “I conceived on my wedding night.”

“
Are you sure?” Juliet asked. Her mother had warned her the night before her wedding that it might take a few weeks before she conceived. Something about her body needing to be ready.

“
Quite,” Caroline said with a blush of her own.

Juliet raised a brow, but didn’t press further. It was of no account to her whether or not Caroline was convinced she’d conceived on her wedding night.

Emma patted Juliet’s knee. “Don’t be so glum. Your time will be here soon enough.”

“
I know,” Juliet said. But just because she knew didn’t stop her from wishing it would happen already. She and Drake had been having relations for more than six weeks now, surely it wouldn’t be too much longer given how fertile her own mother had been. Not to mention Drake. His first wife had delivered Celia only ten months after they’d married. Though Drake wasn’t quite as young now as he’d been when he married the first time, he was still what most would consider virile. Plenty capable to sire more children. She swallowed, if he were capable, and they’d been intimate far more times then she could count, did that mean
she
wasn’t capable? A lump formed in her throat, and despite her best efforts, she was unable to swallow it.

“
Juliet!” Caroline said with a snap of her fingers.