Her Secret Thrill (19 page)

“Is Jake a jerk, too?”

“No, not at all.”

“Then, you're the jerk.”

Natalie laughed. “Gee, tell me how you really feel.”

“So, he travels a lot and you don't know what you want to do with life. It sounds like you know one thing you want, anyway. You want him. Was he willing to try?”

Natalie opened her mouth to argue, but there was no argument to make. “I am a jerk,” she said finally.

“Exactly. Can you call him?”

“I have his itinerary, at least for another couple of weeks, anyway.”

“When is the next date?”

“Now. He's in Tulsa.”

“And you're talking to me when you could be calling him. This call is so over.”

Natalie laughed, but there were tears in her eyes, as well. “I didn't tell you all of it. I, well, I saw him a week ago and I sort of left without really saying goodbye. He might not be happy to hear from me.”

“Think back to the last time you spoke to him, looked in his eyes, listened to his voice. And then ask yourself if he'll want to talk to you.”

Liza's words triggered a montage of images: the two
of them together, both in bed and out. It made her body achy with need…and her heart simply ache.

“I honestly don't know, Liza.”

“Well, there's only one way to find out.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Call me back if you need to, okay? I'm in for the night.”

“I will. And Liza? Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said softly. “Thank me later, after you talk to him.”

Natalie hung up, but it took her a full twenty minutes to work up the courage to pick up the phone again. She called the hotel, but no one by that name was registered. She wasn't sure what to think. Had his itinerary changed? It was certainly possible.

She dialed Liza back, not wanting to keep her in suspense. “He's not there,” she said, when Liza picked up.

“When is the next date on the itinerary?”

“Wednesday. St. Louis.” Natalie already felt better; Liza's matter-of-fact tone quelled her panic.

“So, you call him there. Or you track him down at work.”

“No. I'm not going to interrupt him with something like this at work. We sort of agreed to never do that.” Although, he'd called her once. Still, this was not the sort of call to make while someone was at work. It would be better if he were alone in his hotel room. That way they could talk frankly.

“What do I say to him, Liza?”

“That you changed your mind. That you can't live without him and want to find a way to make it work.
He'll have to pick up the ball from there. You'll figure it out.”

“I hope so.” She hung up, but it was a long time before she went to sleep that night.

It was an even longer four days till Wednesday.

She didn't let herself hope for too much, but when she called the hotel in St. Louis and he wasn't registered there, either, she realized she'd hoped a great deal more than she'd thought.

She was devastated. He'd never changed his itinerary before. One change wasn't unusual. But two? In a row? And immediately after New Orleans? No, he was making sure it was over.

Liza urged her to call him at work, so Natalie finally broke down and did it. Only to find he wasn't there, either. When she asked where she could contact him, the secretary suggested she leave a message, instead. And what in the hell was she supposed to say? She left her name. But there had been no return call.

She'd hurt him and she'd also given him her final answer. He'd taken her at her word.

Now she'd have to live with that.

N
ATALIE WINCED
as Sabrina's brittle “kissing up” laugh filled the air. She saw her sister fawning over Ned Tarlington, CEO of TarlComm Corp., who was at least a hundred years old. He was grinning and so was Rina, so that laugh had probably just added a few zeroes to his donation check. Natalie just shuddered.

It had been three weeks since her unsuccessful attempt to contact Jake, and she was no closer to healing her broken heart or figuring out what she was going to do next. But one thing she wouldn't be doing was hosting charity luncheons like this one. Not if it meant flirting with old guys and laughing like Barbie on speed. Honestly, you'd never know her sister had a degree. Natalie wasn't even sure Sabrina remembered.

She sipped her tea and wished like hell she was anywhere but here. Jake's face swam into her mind. As it was wont to do about, oh, every other minute. Another reason for her foul mood. No Jake, ever again,
and
she had to pretend she cared about— Hell, she wasn't even sure which cause they were supporting this week.
Whichever one got them the opening spot on the five o'clock news and first mention in the society column.

She pushed her grilled pineapple and zucchini pasta curls around on her plate, absently wondering who in their right mind had thought those two things should ever be cooked together, and managed a smile for one of her dad's many vice-presidents and his wife as they passed by. She speared a noodle, but let her fork drop back to her plate when it made a weird squishing noise.

She'd expertly avoided her brother and both of her sisters through the entire event. They'd threatened to announce her arrival at Holcomb Industries today, and she'd threatened to kill each and every one of them if they did. Okay, so she'd done that in her head. Out loud she'd merely voiced her concern that this was to be her father's day, and any announcements about her future plans, which she pointlessly reminded them were not concrete, should be held for another time.

Of course, it would have been better if she could have given them those concrete plans, but since she didn't have any, there wasn't anything she could do about it.

And it didn't help that she couldn't stop thinking about Jake. Everything reminded her of him. Liza was upset with her because she refused to call him at work again, but her heart had taken enough of a beating. She'd heard the silent message he'd sent loud and clear. If he'd wanted to hear from her, he would have called her back.

Which left her here. At a luncheon with a bunch of people she didn't know and didn't want to know. Maybe this was her clue. If she couldn't figure out what would make her happy, maybe she should do what would make
everyone else happy. Maybe she could even learn to like pineapple-zucchini pasta.

If Jake fed it to her, maybe.

She tossed her fork down and stood up. Enough. She was making herself sick with all her moping and whining. It didn't help that one stray thought of him had set her body off. Again. As often as thinking about him pained her heart, her stupid body went on full alert every time. And Liza hadn't helped any by not-so-casually mentioning that Jake had probably ruined her sexually for any other man. Natalie would have hated her for that, if it weren't quite probably true.

God, she had to stop this. She stood and searched the crowd for her father. This was his coming-out party, of sorts. Not that he was happy about it. He'd envisioned a black-tie dinner party or an A-list soiree, something of that nature. Tea parties weren't generally his thing. But she'd argued that he needed to take small steps. His doctor had given him the go-ahead to move slowly back into the business, on a greatly reduced schedule. Her brother had been running things fairly efficiently in her father's absence, and she knew they all hoped he'd ease gracefully into a sort of semiretirement.

This benefit was a start in that direction. It was being held at their country club, with her sisters as hostesses, so he was among both business associates and family friends. Not too taxing, yet public and important enough to assuage his ego.

She spied him talking to Mrs. Fentweather, head of the ladies' auxiliary at the club. Natalie felt a momentary pang of guilt as she watched her father force himself to ignore the ungodly peacock feather hat she wore, the fronds of which were bobbing and weaving around his
head and into his drink, all the while feigning interest in Lord only knows what cause she was spouting on about. She smiled and silently applauded him as he deftly foisted the old biddy off on an unsuspecting board member.
Smooth as always, Dad.

She was forced to admit that he looked good. His color was back and his weight up. Only she would notice the tiny lines of fatigue that pulled at the corners of his mouth. Thankfully, the event was nearing conclusion. She'd have to call the house and make sure his room had been made up so he could rest a few hours before dinner.

Her gaze narrowed when he sipped at something clear and fizzy. No alcohol, he'd agreed. But then she spied the twist of lemon, realized it was probably sparkling water, and relaxed. For all his general bullheadedness, he'd essentially followed his doctor's wishes. Well, with her there forcing him to. But regardless of how he'd gotten there, she was finally beginning to believe that he was really going to be okay. And that he might even stay that way for a while.

Which meant she'd better come up with some plans soon or the next luncheon would be honoring her coming home to work at Holcomb.

Maybe she would take Liza up on her offer of a retreat. The never-ending L.A. sunshine might be just the thing to help her clear her head. And her heart.

Just then, Melissa came up behind her and tugged her elbow, almost making her spill her drink. “Natalie,” she hissed, “there is someone here looking for you.”

Natalie managed to save her dress from being splashed and turned to face her sister. If the tone Melissa had used hadn't made it clear, her sister's expression did.
Whoever had arrived was
not
on the approved guest list. Which didn't make sense to Natalie. She hadn't invited anyone because she didn't know anyone, and even if she had, she wouldn't have subjected a friend— Oh! She craned her neck, suddenly feeling tons better and even a bit guilty for all her mean thoughts. “Is it Liza?”

It had to be. Liza could hobnob with the best of them, and had—but this wasn't L.A. and her family had limited acceptance for anything that didn't drip blue blood. Or tasteful diamonds and pearls. Natalie wouldn't put it past Liza to show up wearing thigh-high leopard-print boots and a spike wig. But rather than panic, she grinned. This was exactly what she needed: something to shake her out of her heartbroken stupor.

Her sister's frown was as deep as Natalie's grin was wide. She smoothed a finger over Melissa's cheek. “You'll get wrinkles scowling like that, you know.” Her sister's expression smoothed with almost comical swiftness, but Natalie was too excited and relieved to enjoy it. “Where is she?”

“Oh, for heaven's sake, it's not Liza. It's some—”

She never got to finish. The crowd had gone suddenly silent except for a few gasps and one or two
Oh my
's.

Confused, Natalie turned toward the door…and froze when Jake came striding through the crowd.

She blinked. Twice. But it still looked just like him. The outfit had thrown her off. He was wearing faded jeans, well-worn cowboy boots, his beat-up leather jacket…and what had to be a Stetson. It all looked incredibly good on him. But more than that, he looked at home in them.

He stopped right in front of her, and Natalie was
fully aware that every eye in the room was on them, her family's most of all.

“Hi.” She was totally flummoxed by his sudden appearance. Her heart was pounding so hard, it was like a drum in her ears, and her insides were all but quivering with unstoppable joy. Her mind was simply mush.

“How is your father?”

“What?” Of all the possible opening sentences she could have imagined—and she'd lost a ton of sleep imagining every possible scenario, or so she'd thought—this never would have made the list.

“My father is doing really well.”

“Good, I'm really glad to hear that.”

Melissa shouldered her way between them. “I'm very sorry, but this is a private function and—”

That snapped her out of it. “Oh, for heaven's sake, Lissy, get a grip.” She turned to the rest of the crowd, and for the first time in her life couldn't have cared less what any of them thought of her or the situation. “I'm sorry for the interruption, everyone.” Then she took Jake by the elbow and said, “We'd better step outside if we're going to have any hope of a conversation.”

Jake merely shot the crowd that grin of his, tipped his hat and followed her. Natalie swore she saw several women fanning their faces as he strode past. It shouldn't have made her smile, but it did. She had no idea why he was here or what he planned to tell her, so she had no business letting herself get remotely excited about—

They'd barely made it through the doors into the lobby area when he took hold of her arm and spun her back to him. “I know this is possibly the worst time and place to do this, but I couldn't wait any longer. I called at your house and they gave me directions here.”

“That's—that's okay. Worst time to do what?”

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I know you think we don't have a chance, but—”

Now she interrupted him. “That's not true. That's why I called you.”

He stopped, seemed stunned. “It isn't? You did?”

Hope began to unfurl inside her heart. “I tried to contact you in Tulsa and again in St. Louis, but the hotel didn't have you registered. I took that as a sign that you didn't want to hear from me again, but Liza talked me into calling you at work. You weren't there, and I didn't know what to say, so I just left my name.”

“You're kidding. I never got the message. I'm…I'm not working for Lannister Cattle. At least, not directly.” He looked honestly confused, but that was nothing compared to her confusion.

“You're not working for your family?”

He was still shaking his head. “I didn't know. God, I can't believe—” He shook it off and turned back to her. “I'm running the Double L.”

“So why did you come here?”

He shrugged, and that vulnerable look he sometimes got, the one that melted her heart, flickered over his face. “Because I love you. I never told you. And with all the other decisions I've made, that's one thing I'd decided to do. I should have told you the first hundred times I wanted to.” He fingered the brim of his hat. “Maybe you wouldn't have left me in New Orleans.”

“Maybe I wouldn't have.”
He loved her!
She could hardly think straight, but it was important that she did because she had to explain. “But maybe I would have. I…a lot of things happened to me that night in New Orleans. I came to some conclusions about why I wasn't
going back to Maxwell & Graham, but no idea where I did want to go. And I still had my dad to worry about and help. I didn't think it was fair to drag you into my life when I had no idea which end was up at any given moment.”

“I'm willing to be part of your life no matter where it's headed. Just tell me one thing. Will you give me—us—a chance?”

“Yes. I do love you, Jake.”

He whooped and swept her up in his arms. As he spun her around, she vaguely noticed that everyone was packed at the doorway, watching the entire exchange. She didn't care. She threw her arms around his neck and held on tight. He was kissing her before her feet touched the ground, not that she could feel the ground, anyway.

He tasted better than she remembered, and she wanted all of him right that very second. She fought for control, the clearing of a throat behind her helping her along, and managed to disengage herself from Jake. But she grabbed his hand as she turned to face the owner of the cleared throat.

“Dad, this is Jake Lannister.”

Jake offered his hand. “How do you do, sir. I'm very pleased to meet you. I've heard a great deal about you.”

If her father was surprised by the polished way Jake spoke, so at odds with his cowboy-fresh-off-the-range appearance, he didn't show it.
Smooth as always, Dad,
she thought again with a tender smile, even as her heart continued to pound.

“Yes, well, I would like to say the same, but my
daughter hasn't spoken of you. I take it the two of you are more than casual acquaintances?”

Now Natalie blushed. “Dad.”

He looked squarely at her. “I'm only commenting on how things look. If I'm misunderstanding, please enlighten me.”

“No, you aren't misunderstanding. I met Jake several months ago in New York.”

Jake stepped forward. “I understand she's been staying with you, and I'm sure her help has been immeasurable, but I'm hoping you can spare her for at least a short while. I'd like to take her to Wyoming.”

“Wyoming?” Both Natalie and her father spoke simultaneously. She might have heard echoes from her sisters still in the doorway as well.

“And why are you asking my father? I'm a grown woman, I—”

“Hush, Natalie, let the man speak,” her father said. “It's obvious the boy was raised to respect his elders. And I respect
that.
”

Natalie only rolled her eyes, but then Jake tugged her around to face him. “I want to show you the ranch, Natalie.”

“Your family is in ranching, you say?” her father asked.

“Yes,” he said, turning back to her father. “Lannister Cattle Company.”

“I don't think I've heard of them, but then, I don't have any dealings in that area.”

He grinned. “We've been around almost as long as Holcomb Industries has.”