Her Secret Thrill (12 page)

“I'm sorry,” Liza said sincerely, even if Natalie knew she held little affection for her father. But her compassion for her friend was boundless, and Natalie embraced that. She was strong, but everyone needed compassion once in a while.

“I just hate this for you,” Liza added quietly.

“I know. I do, too. But it's what I have to do, you know?”

“Yeah. But I don't have to like it.”

Natalie found a smile despite the burning sensation behind her eyes. “But as for the loft, don't worry. I've got some stock options I can cash in to keep up on rent for at least the next couple of months. After that, we'll see.” She managed a laugh. “Besides, I'll need a place to escape to for the weekend when the slings and arrows get too heavy at home.”

“You can always fly out and see me.”

“Not on my currently nonexistent personal expense account, I can't. No more company flights, remember?”

“Promise me you'll let me fly you out if you need a break. Even if it's only for a weekend. And whenever I'm in New York, you'll come in and we'll do something wild and frivolous. On me. Deal?”

“Deal,” she said, knowing Liza wouldn't accept anything else. “You're the best, you know that?”

“I certainly am. And don't you forget it!”

“Not a chance.” It wasn't until Natalie hung up that she realized she'd never told Liza about Jake.

It was just as well, she decided. It was too fresh right now. Maybe in the distant future when they were sitting around discussing their love lives, or lack thereof, she'd dredge up this one perfect little affair and share it.

It wasn't like she was going to forget even the tiniest detail of it, no matter how much time passed.

She glanced at the clock and realized her cab would be here momentarily. She looked at the name of the Dallas hotel, written out in Jake's own hand from the itinerary he'd left her that first time they'd been together almost three months ago. All she had to do was call information, get the number, leave a message, and all would be taken care of. Neat and tidy, just the way she liked it.

But then there was a honk from below. Her cab was here. She looked at Jake's handwritten list and told herself the sensation rushing through her was not relief. She was merely putting off the inevitable. But though she knew the list by heart, she grabbed it and stuffed it in her purse. She'd call from Connecticut after she settled back in at home.

Home.
Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she remembered.

She knew it would be worse. She hadn't lived at home in ten years, not since she was eighteen.

Liza was right. Her father would be none too pleased to discover his baby had only abandoned her stubbornly held dreams to come take care of him. No, he wouldn't like that at all.

“Well, that makes two of us, Daddy.” But like it or not, she was going to help him get well. Even if it killed them both.

J
AKE TOSSED
the pile of notes on his hotel bed, dumped his garment bag and laptop case on the other one and headed straight for the shower. Damn, but he wished he was in New Orleans and not Dallas. He wished Natalie was waiting for him. It had been the week from hell, and if he never saw the inside of another hotel room he'd be more than happy. Unless that hotel room contained the woman he couldn't get off his mind.

He stepped under the hot spray and groaned in appreciation. He soaped up and tried like hell to convince himself what a bad idea it would be to give in to the urge to call her at work. He knew the number by heart now, having picked up the phone and dialed it several times since she'd left him in Chicago.

Getting back to work hadn't remotely helped him put their relationship back in perspective. He wanted more than this physical romp they'd agreed to share. He wanted to be able to hear her voice whenever he wanted to. So what if they lived across the country from one another? With their travel schedules, surely they could
sustain some kind of committed relationship if they could call and talk between actual face-to-face visits.

He wanted to talk about her work, her day; tell her about his. Share the good news, family news, bad news, and just shoot the breeze. He found himself constantly wondering what she'd think of this or that, and was getting increasingly frustrated by the boundaries they had set up.

Would she be open to stretching them a little? He knew she was as harried in her business life as he was, and just as committed to succeeding. If he demanded more from her than their occasional meetings, would she run?

He shut off the water and climbed out. Could he risk losing what they did have? He dried off and wrapped a fresh towel around his waist before heading back into the bedroom. As a matter of habit, he scooped up the messages again, but tossed them back down a moment later after skimming the first two or three. More problems, more meetings. It was endless.

He truly enjoyed the work, but lately it seemed that he solved one problem only to have three more crop up. His dad kept telling him to train a few other people so he could dole out the workload a bit more and not travel as much. But he'd never had a reason to really contemplate it. His life was his job, and he hadn't minded it taking all his time and attention. Until he'd met Natalie.

He sat down on the side of the bed, for the first time thinking that delegating might not be such a bad idea. He wasn't a control freak by any stretch, but he'd always been the one to handle the serious glitches and it was hard for him to admit he couldn't keep up with the demand. Harder still to step aside and trust someone
else to handle them as thoroughly and with as much dedication as he would.

He glanced at his laptop, thinking about the e-mail his dad had sent with a list of names he might consider. He knew he wasn't giving up control or responsibility. What really bothered him was that he wasn't cut out to be a manager. It wasn't a role he looked forward to playing. That was his sister Julie's forte.

He liked being his own boss, his only responsibility to get the job done for the company. If he had to start worrying about how everyone else was handling the job… His head throbbed at the mere thought of it.

Which left him precisely where? He found his thoughts drifting back to the home ranch. His great-great-grandfather, Lamont Lannister, had been the one to start the family cattle business after he'd settled in the West. Jake wondered if he'd ever in his wildest dreams thought it would lead to an internationally respected holding.

He'd been raised on that land, in the original house, or at least the part of it that remained. But no matter where he traveled, his heart was back on that ranch. He'd always had a love for the basics of ranching, the intricacies of breeding. It was a fascination he shared with his father. Of course he loved his job, but more and more lately Jake found himself thinking of the Double L. His parents still called that home, although they spent less and less time there.

It was too cold, his dad complained. His mom had surprised him by agreeing, and three years ago they'd bought some land in Arizona, close to their corporate offices there. Both parents were still integrally involved in the company, but his dad now indulged in breeding
some newer types of longhorns, mostly for fun rather than profit, and his mom had become involved in several organizations in Tempe and was more relaxed than he'd seen her in some time.

The Double L, by rights, would go to his older brother, Tom. But Tom lived in Casper and wasn't much for the ranching life. Julie and his younger brother, Steve, were both married and enjoyed the city corporate life, as well. He supposed he did, too, as his condo was downtown, but he was rarely there. When he thought of home, he automatically thought of the ranch.
Where are you going with this?

Quite honestly, he didn't know. Of course, his parents would jump on this with both feet if they knew. They'd say he was ready to settle down. He was the only unmarried child left in the immediate family. Fortunately Steve's wife had just given the family a third grandchild, so the focus was off him for the moment. He wondered what they'd think of Natalie.

He shook his head. From babies and settling down, right to Natalie. He needed a break from the near-constant travel, that was all. Natalie had simply come to represent the rest and relaxation he'd somehow lost along the way. He was making way more out of his preoccupation with her and the ranch than was warranted. He'd already been in two other cities since Chicago, and there were three more unscheduled trips now penciled in for the next ten days, one overseas. Maybe after that he'd take a weekend off and head out to the Double L.

Then there was New Orleans. Two days with Natalie with only a few hours needed for work. What would it be like to have the whole night with her? To wake her up in the morning and not have to rush off to the airport?

He wondered what Natalie would think of the ranch.

“Okay, enough.” He set about unpacking. Besides, she was a city dweller, like his siblings. She'd probably hate it. One more reason not to call her at work and push what was, in every other way, the perfect relationship.

He dug out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, trying to ignore how little comfort he'd drawn from that conclusion. He had some work to do before his dinner meeting. The first of which was going to be to look at that list and start the ball rolling on training some help.

He'd get over the management duties part of it. It was bound to happen at some point. Although Tom would likely be the one to take over the helm of the company when his parents finally decided to fully retire, Jake knew the time would come when more would be expected of him than the rogue troubleshooting role he played now. He just wished he was more excited about it.

Of course, if he delegated more now, it would mean less travel, less chance of total burnout. Also less chance of scheduling time with Natalie. Unless he went ahead and pursued her openly, and to hell with the boundaries.

That made him pause. “Well, hell, Lannister, if you're going to make some changes, might as well start with the one you want most.” And just like that, before he could change his mind, he scooped up the phone and dialed her office number.

Two minutes later and several tries to cradle the receiver later, he was still attempting to deal with the blow he'd just taken.

“I'm sorry, Ms. Holcomb has taken a sabbatical. May I direct your call to her temporary replacement?”

He'd sat there, dumbfounded, long enough for the person on the other end to repeat the message. Just in case he wasn't sufficiently blown away the first time. He'd managed to mumble something and end the call.

He stared at the stack of notes on the bed and snatched them up. He tore through them, knowing this was the only place she'd try to contact him. He went through the stack twice. No note.

“What the hell is going on?” He threw the notes on the bed. Was she still going to meet him in New Orleans? Damn! He hated feeling so bewildered, so helpless. Where was she? Did she need him? Why in the hell had she left her firm, even temporarily? He realized just how little he really knew about her. Where would she go? Was she home? Was it her pal, Liza? Her family?

He stood and paced the room. Should he call her place in New York? He had that number, too. He sat heavily on the side of the bed. If she needed him, she knew she could contact him here in Dallas. What was really upsetting him was that something had happened to her…and she hadn't turned to him for help.

He braced his head in his hands.
Wasn't this precisely what you wanted?
his inner voice taunted.
No snags, no real life problems, no annoying problems left for you to solve?
He shoveled his fingers through his damp hair. So, okay, yes, that's what he'd thought he wanted. He swore long and loud and flopped back on the bed. And it had stopped being what he wanted the moment he'd first made love to her.

“So where in the hell does that leave me?” he asked the ceiling. He glanced over at the phone and knew he wasn't going to call her. What he was going to do was
start making some changes in his life. Then hope like hell she showed up in New Orleans. After that, all bets were off.

 

“Y
OU'RE ACTING
like a child.” Natalie waited outside her father's bedroom door. His
locked
bedroom door. “Okay, fine. I'll send Nurse Ratchet up instead.” She counted to ten, then smiled wearily when she heard the lock click off.

She entered the room to find her father standing at the window, looking out on the rear formal garden. “I don't understand why I can't simply be left alone. I am, after all, a grown man.”

If Natalie wasn't so tired of this discussion, she'd have pointed out the petulance in his tone. But that would get her nowhere. Neither would whining or kowtowing. No, what worked with her father, or at least had the best chance of working, was directness.

“Yes, you are a grown man. But even after this, you think you are indestructible.”

He swung around, ready to defend himself, but she cut him off. Quietly, but effectively.

“I happen to love you. Very much. That's why I'm here.” She found a small smile in the face of her father's sudden discomfort. It shouldn't be endearing, but it was. It was perhaps his greatest weakness, but one she forgave him for. His guidance and advice might be misdirected, but she knew he loved her. “I came home because I was very afraid that, left to your own hard-headed ways, you'd end up in the hospital again.” Her breath caught and surprising tears rose to her eyes. “I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose you.”

Had he been another kind of man, he might have
opened his arms and welcomed her into them. But she didn't expect what he wasn't able to give. That way she wasn't disappointed. He did have to clear his throat before he spoke, and she took her measure of comfort in that small, but telling, action.

“I'm not used to being dictated to, Natalie. I can certainly appreciate the scare I gave you and the others. I wasn't too keen on the experience myself.” He looked to the window again. “For that I apologize.”

“Dad—”

He lifted his hand to stall her, but remained facing the window. Apologies came hard enough to him, so she didn't push. “But I won't stand for your mollycoddling, Natalie.”

She sighed. He was such a stubborn fool.

He turned, and she was taken aback again by just how much this latest episode had aged him. Or at least revealed the fragility of his health. He'd always been robust of frame and of voice and temperament. Larger than life, even though he was barely taller than her. Now he looked…well, like a senior citizen. “I hardly think making sure you've taken your medication is mollycoddling.”

“There is a nurse here for that.”

“And this is already nurse number—what, three? Four? It's only been ten days.”

“I can't help it if they can't handle their responsibilities.” He waved away the discussion, a common tactic when he was fighting a battle he might not win. “I didn't ask you in here to discuss the sorry state of medical professionals.” He folded his hands in front of his thick robe. “You know I'm glad to have you back home where you belong.”

Natalie knew where this was heading, just as she knew it was pointless to argue. “Shouldn't you be sitting? You're not supposed to be up for long periods.”

“Nonsense. I spend far too much time in that bed as it is. Now, don't redirect the topic here.”

She smiled then. “Sorry. I learned from the best.”

That brought a grudging smile from him. “Yes, well, don't you forget it. But also remember you can't outfox a fox.”

“Boy, don't I know it,” she murmured beneath her breath.

He narrowed his eyes, but went on determinedly. “I'm proud of you, Natalie. Of how hard you worked for your degree, for the bar. I could use you. The family always needs a sharp lawyer. In fact, I have some files I'd like you to read over. I could use your advice.”

Natalie wisely said nothing. He would pull her in with the promise of a legal position, but she'd be shifted into management in the blink of an eye. He'd want her in a position of as much power and control as possible, as he did her brother and both sons-in-law. Her sisters wielded their power in the boardroom with their stock holdings, and in the ballroom. The latter, at times, being more a center of power than the former.

She was the lone wolf, the one that had to be brought back to the fold and put in her proper position. Which was on a pedestal. A distinctly uncomfortable place, and one she'd sworn never to inhabit.

“You need to rest, Dad. We'll discuss this later.” She went to his bedstand. “And you didn't take your two o'clocks.”

For once, he let the discussion go. He was a fox and
he well knew when to push and when to sit and wait.
Well, he was in for one hell of a long wait.