Hero (8 page)

I swallowed back the bile in my throat, keeping my lips pressed together while Dex got the information he needed from Stewart. When he was finished, Dex ushered me out of the club and into the sunlight. I soaked in its warmth on my skin, trying to thaw my insides.

He opened the passenger door for me, but he didn’t touch me in any way as I slid into the seat.

“That was very brave of you,” he murmured when we were both situated in the car.

I let out a shaky breath. “I’m just glad you got what you needed.” I looked up into his pale eyes, imploring. “Will you be able to stop them?”

His features firmed with grim determination. “We’ll stop them. Bliss won’t be on the streets of New York for much longer, thanks to you. We got the names we needed. We can arrest the men responsible for taking over the trafficking. Moreno won’t get the foothold he wants, not if we stop the Russians before he can start working with them.”

“Good. That’s good.”

He nodded and didn’t say anything further. I was relieved that he wasn’t questioning me about what I’d said to Stewart. The last thing I wanted was to talk about my personal experience with trauma.

Pushing thoughts of Neil from my mind, I occupied myself with plans for the questions I’d ask Derek at Decadence that night.

* * *

R
ed and gold
lights danced across Carina’s concerned face as she regarded me intently. I raised my voice so she could hear me over the pulsing music in Decadence. “Seriously, I’m fine. It was just a long day.”

“You don’t seem fine,” she countered. “Did Dex do something to upset you again? You can talk to me, Chloe. We’re friends.”

I reached out clasped her hand. “Of course we are. I know I can talk to you. But honestly, I’m okay. It was just a long day. Dex didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her delicate features grew heavy with resignation. “You don’t like him.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him; he just gets on my nerves with his whole Dom thing.” I couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d tried to get Kennedy to kick me out. Now that some time had passed, I could see that he only wanted to protect me, but I needed his respect more than his protection.

“You don’t like him because he’s a Dom?”

“It’s not that. I have plenty of friends who are Doms. But none of them try to interfere with my career. They don’t try to Top me all the time.”

She smiled wryly. “I’m sure they try. I just don’t think they succeed.”

I shrugged. “I don’t need a man to tell me what to do.”

“That’s not what BDSM is about, and you know it. What’s gotten into you?”

I blew out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. This whole situation with Dex is… Well, it’s just a lot.
He’s
a lot.” But he’d been so calm and gentle after our meeting at Euphoria. He hadn’t pushed me or reprimanded me for speaking out of turn. He’d simply given me the time I needed to process what had happened and master my emotions.

She gave me a rueful smile. “He’s a Dom and an FBI agent. That makes him a little overbearing, I’m sure. All he wants is to protect you. I think you should let him.”

I eyed her with suspicion. “Are you
still
trying to fix me up with him? After all this?”

She tossed her dark copper hair over her shoulder. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Right,” I drew out the word, making it heavy with my disbelief.

“Dex is a good man. If he’s being domineering, its only because he has your best interests at heart. He’s not trying to disrespect your career or threaten your independence. I went through all this with Kennedy, so let me save you the headache: talk to Dex. Be honest with him. If you feel like he’s belittling you, tell him. I’m sure it’s not his intention.”

“So now you’re comparing Dex and me to you and Kennedy? And you really expect me to buy that you’re not trying to fix us up?”

She grinned at me, then turned to glance through the crowd that had amassed around the bar and seating area. “Oh look,” she said cheerily. “There he is. Dex!” she called out, waving him over.

“Carina!” I hissed, grabbing her arm to stop her waving.

But I was too late. The crowd was already parting to make room for Dex’s huge form as he moved toward us.

Why did he always have to prowl like that? Did the man not know how to walk normally? It wasn’t natural that such a massive person could move so gracefully.

“Hello, Chloe,” he greeted.

And why did his voice have to be so impossibly deep when he said my name like that? Couldn’t he just talk like a normal man, in a tone that didn’t rumble across my skin?

“Hi,” I said, my voice soft and oddly shy.

I’m just feeling guilty for being mean to him,
I reasoned. Considering how kind he’d been to me after the ordeal at Euphoria today, I’d come to realize that I’d treated him unfairly.

I drew in a breath and steadied myself. When I spoke again, my voice was clear and even. “Listen, Dex. I’m sorry I was so rude yesterday. After Brighton Beach.”

He inclined his head in acceptance of my apology. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I upset you.” The significance he placed on the last let me know he wasn’t referring to dragging me out of the Russian café. He was talking about getting an erection when we sparred.

“You see?” Carina said brightly. “That’s all cleared up. I knew you two would get along.”

My own expression of disbelief was mirrored on Dex’s face. Did Carina really think she was being at all subtle about pushing us together? Or did she simply not care about subtlety?

Thankfully, I realized that Dex’s matching consternation meant he wasn’t interested in me, either. That put me at ease.

I gave Dex a wide, genuine smile. “I don’t see any reason why we can’t be friends.”

He returned my smile. “Friends, then.”

Carina huffed her annoyance.

“Something wrong, little sub?” Kennedy asked, his arm curving around her shoulders as soon as he joined our group. He eyed Dex. “Dexter isn’t upsetting you, is he?”

“You know I hate when you call me that, Ken,” he said, his voice harsher than I’d ever heard it.

“It’s your name, isn’t it?” Kennedy drawled.

God, the man was an ass. Couldn’t he see Dex was upset?

“Kennedy’s just teasing him,” Carina said quickly, reading my indignation on his behalf.

“Well, I don’t appreciate it,” Dex said, his tone still rough with irritation.

“Dex,” I interjected, deciding to come to his rescue. “I’d like to talk to you privately, if you don’t mind.” I tilted my head toward the seating area, indicating that I was giving him an out.

“I’d like that.” He took my hand in his, long fingers enveloping my palm.

I blinked, surprised at the sudden contact, but he led me away before I could react further.

“You two kids have fun!” Carina called after us.

Dex shook his head and continued to tug me along beside him, putting distance between the older couple and us. When we reached an unoccupied plush leather couch, he sat. I lowered myself down beside him. He didn’t really give me a choice to do otherwise, because he hadn’t let go of my hand.

I glanced up at him to find him watching me with unexpected intensity. “I really am sorry about yesterday,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you. My body just reacted. I should have controlled myself better. I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you.”

Something deep inside my chest quivered, and my eyes suddenly burned. I blinked quickly, alarmed to realize I was close to tearing up.

“You didn’t hurt me,” I said in the coolest tone I could manage. “I’m fine.”

He straightened his impressive shoulders, and he suddenly seemed to loom over me. “I’m not going to push you or pry. But know that I’m fully aware that you’re not fine. I saw what you did in Euphoria today, and you were very brave to talk to Stewart like that. I know it can’t have been easy for you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” I tried to shrug off the significance of his words.

He kept me fixed in his level gaze. “Don’t try to pull any bullshit with me. If we’re going to be in the field together, I have to be able to trust you.”

I cut my eyes away, unable to bear the weight of his glacial blue stare. Strong fingers curled beneath my chin, redirecting my face to his.

“I don’t need to know your secrets,” he said. “But I do need you to be honest with me. Tell me the truth, Chloe.”

“I’m not fine,” I admitted on a whisper. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

Keeping his grip on my chin with one hand, he ran his other through my hair, his long fingers brushing a dark lock off my cheek.

“That’s okay,” he soothed. “You don’t really know me. And that’s why I’m not going to push you. Despite what you may think, I do respect you. All I want is for us to be honest with one another. Can you do that? Can I trust you?”

“Yes,” I promised. “You can trust me.”

“I wouldn’t trust her, Dex,” a familiar voice pierced the intensity between us. “Keep trying to Top her, and she’ll probably bite you. Believe me, I would know.”

I turned a saccharine sweet smile on Master Jason. “I did apologize for that,” I reminded him.

He gave me his best cocky half-smile, the one that usually made subs fall to their knees before him. “Only after I flogged your ass red. And even then, you weren’t really sorry, were you?”

“No, not really. That’s what you get for trying to boss me around.”

“Watch your fingers, Dex,” he warned. “They’re dangerously close to those pearly whites. Despite all appearances, she’s surprisingly vicious.”

I scoffed. “You make me sound like a wild animal.”

He laughed. “The untamable submissive, in her natural habitat.”

“You know I’m not really a sub,” I said as Dex’s hands left my face. I kept my attention on Jason to distract myself from the sudden sense of loss that tugged at my chest.

“Right,” Jason said. “You’re just here for research.”

“That’s right,” I agreed. “And what are you doing here? In New York, I mean.”

“I had a job interview. Don’t think I’ll take it, though. I like Chicago. Dusk has the prettiest subs.” He tipped his head at me, his bright green eyes dancing.

“Smooth,” I commented drily, not falling for his exaggerated charm.

“Ouch,” he winced. “You know how to bruise a Dom’s ego. I can see you’ve already upset our poor friend Dex.”

I looked to Dex to find him quickly smoothing away a frown. “Chloe didn’t upset me. We were having a serious conversation when you so rudely interrupted.”

“Was I rude? I’m terribly sorry.” He kept smiling, obviously not sorry at all. “So, Chloe. What are you researching this time? What’s the new book about?”

“It’s a ménage,” I said blithely. “So unless you’d like to put on a show for me, I doubt you’ll be much help.”

“Kinky girl,” he said with approval. “That could be arranged. What do you say, Dex? It’ll be like old times.”

My brows rose. “You two have done this before?” It had been clear from the beginning of the conversation that the two men knew one another, but the information that they’d had a threesome together was quite a revelation.

Dex shrugged, his face oddly blank. “I told you I used to go to Dusk before I moved to New York.”

“Dex and I shared once,” Jason supplied. “Haley, wasn’t it?”

“Carmen,” Dex corrected.

“That’s right. I knew it was a blonde.”

“I’m glad it was so memorable for you,” I said pointedly. “It must have been quite a special experience.”

Dex actually blushed. I stared at the rosy color on his cheeks, fascinated.

“It’s been several years, and Dex and I aren’t exactly the monogamous types,” Jason said, distracting me.

“How wonderful for you,” I commented.

“Just because you write about people finding love through BDSM doesn’t mean all Doms are looking to find their One True Sub. Some of us like to play.” His green eyes glinted as they fixed on me. “Would you like to play, Chloe?”

“Back off, Jason,” Dex warned. “She’s not interested.”

A dark brow rose. “Isn’t she? I think that’s up to her to decide.” He looked at me expectantly. “We’ve played plenty of times. Why not tonight?”

“I’m not feeling it,” I said, trying to ignore the erotic image that flashed across my mind: my body, trapped between Dex and Jason.

Jason shrugged. “Okay. I won’t beg. I’m in town tomorrow night and then I’m going back to Chicago. Will I see you here again tomorrow? Maybe you’ll be
feeling it
then.” He winked.

“I’ll be here,” I confirmed. I still had so much more research I wanted to get in, both with the FBI and at Decadence. “But right now I need to go talk to Sharon and Derek.” I spotted the couple at the bar and stood to join them. “I’ll see you in the morning, Dex,” I said absently, my mind already straying to the questions I’d stored up for Derek.

“Yeah,” I heard him answer as I walked away.

Placing Dex at the back of my mind, I moved on to my interview with Derek Carter.

“
S
he’s a slippery minx
,” Jason remarked as he watched Chloe walk away. “And I don’t mean that in a
she’s so wet
kind of way.”

I frowned at him. I didn’t like him talking about her like that. Couldn’t he see that Chloe was a sensitive woman beneath all her flippancy and fire?

“Oh, come on.” Jason rolled his eyes. “Are you going to ruin my fun, too? No, thanks. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my time in New York.” His head canted to the side, some of his shaggy black hair falling across his eyes as he studied me. “I know you’ve always been reserved, but you’ve become downright miserable since you moved here. You used to know how to have fun.”

“I still have plenty of fun,” I said coolly. “But I think I’ve had enough for tonight. I’m going home.”

His brows rose with incredulity. “You’re leaving? The party’s barely getting started. Come on. I think Chloe has the right idea with this whole ménage thing. Let’s find a play partner. You look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m not up for it tonight. I had a long day.”

“All the more reason to fuck away your worries.”

I’d done enough of that to last me a lifetime. It had long ago begun to feel hollow. If anything, empty, meaningless fucking only added to my depression.

My eyes strayed to Chloe where she leaned on the bar, speaking animatedly with Derek and Sharon. My scene with her hadn’t been empty. Earning her submission had captured my full attention.

And then left me sexually frustrated and tormented with thoughts of Katie.

I tore my gaze from Chloe. It was time to go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told Jason.

“So you’ll be back?”

“I always am.”

“Excellent. See you later, man.”

I gave him a brusque nod and made my way toward the exit. I’d go home and lose myself in one of my games. I’d play with my friend Sam over team-speak. Talking to her about gaming always provided a great distraction. I found solace in losing myself in a fantasy world, and Sam was a pleasant companion in my online adventures.

My mind made up, I resolutely kept my eyes from finding Chloe before I left. I’d see her at the field office in the morning.

Still, I couldn’t keep my thoughts from straying back to her. After seeing how shaken she’d been following her conversation with Stewart, I was more certain than ever that she’d been abused. I’d do whatever she needed to make her feel safe and happy when she was with me. The last thing I wanted was for her dark eyes to fill with fear when she looked up at me.

I’d prove that I was worthy of her trust. I’d protect her for as long as she was with me. That was all that mattered.

* * *

T
he next day
on the job was mercifully quiet. While I might have been bored with such an uneventful shift, I found that the hours passed quickly with Chloe. The dark mood that had plagued her the day before seemed to have lifted, and she practically glowed with excitement as she peppered me with questions about my job.

I smiled to myself as I entered Decadence, reflecting on our day as I handed my leather jacket to the woman at the coat check. It was nice seeing Chloe happy. She was a passionate, intelligent woman. Her work obviously brought her a lot of joy and satisfaction.

My eyes instantly caught on her when I stepped into the club. She sat on one of the red leather couches across from the bar. And Jason was sitting beside her, giving her his signature cocky smile. She returned it, her grin a touch teasing.

I didn’t like how she flirted with him. They might have shared scenes in the past, but I was sure that he didn’t truly understand her needs. I’d be damned if I allowed him to talk her into a scene tonight. Not on my watch.

“Dex,” Jason said my name jovially when he noticed my approach. “I was just talking to our lovely friend about ménage. She’s very curious.”

Chloe glanced up at me, then quickly dropped her eyes. A lovely pink shade colored her cheeks.

“So, what do you say, Chloe? Are you
feeling it
tonight?”

Her features pinched with confusion. “Feeling what?”

“A threesome,” he supplied, gesturing to me. “I’m sure our rather large mutual friend would be happy to help.”

“Jason,” I said sharply, on the verge of telling him to back off. Then I saw Chloe’s red face, noticed the way she shot me another furtive look. She shifted on her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs.

She was demonstrating classic signs of arousal. I watched her, fascinated.

“You see? You are feeling it,” Jason said with triumph. “I’ll teach you all about being with two Doms. It doesn’t have to be Dex. I’m sure someone else would be more than happy—”

“If Chloe wants a ménage experience, I’m going to be involved,” I cut across him before I could really think about what I was saying. Her wide brown eyes fixed on me. Her full red lips were parted, and her pulse jumped at her throat.

Definitely aroused.

“Jason is optional,” I declared.

“Wait a minute,” she gasped out. “I didn’t say I want to be part of a threesome scene.”

“Don’t you?” Jason teased. “Your kinky little mind cooked up that particular fantasy for your book, didn’t it? You can’t tell me you’re not at least interested.”

Her face shuttered. “I’m not at all interested in having sex.”

“Back off, Jason,” I warned. He didn’t understand Chloe like I did. Even though I hadn’t known her very long, I’d glimpsed her secret pain. Jason was obviously clueless about her fears.

“Stop being such a stick in the mud, Dex.” He rolled his eyes before returning his attention to Chloe. “We don’t have to fuck. You and I have had scenes before, and I didn’t fuck you, did I? This won’t be any different.”

“So, what?” she asked blankly. “You’re both going to take turns flogging me?”

“Give us some points for creativity, Chloe. We can come up with something much more interesting than that.”

“She said no,” I told him, my voice hard.

“I didn’t say no,” she insisted, her dark eyes regarding Jason with interest. “What would you do? I want to hear it.”

His perpetual smile turned sly. “I don’t think so. You want me to give you the material you need for your book. Well, no spoilers, sweetheart. You can find out my perverted plan as an active participant, or not at all.”

Her expression turned frosty. “I don’t care if most subs worship it, I’m not interested in your cock, Jason.”

His smile stayed firmly in place. “Hands and toys it is, then. You heard the lady, Dex. No cocks allowed.”

“She doesn’t want you to touch her,” I growled, remembering how skittish she’d been around me. She’d only allowed me to use my hands on her for the bare minimum requirements of setting up the scene we’d shared. Otherwise, I’d stimulated her with the crop.

Finally, he frowned. “I’ve touched you before,” he addressed her. “You didn’t seem to mind.”

Something white-hot knifed through my gut. She’d let him put his hands on her, but she hadn’t wanted me to?

I looked to her and found her blushing even more deeply. She caught my eye and quickly glanced away.

“I didn’t mind,” she murmured. “I don’t.”

“And Dex was Topping you yesterday,” Jason added. “I saw him. He was touching your face, and it didn’t seem to bother you. You didn’t even try to bite him.”

“This isn’t a joke,” I said hotly, still watching Chloe. I couldn’t puzzle out what was going on in her head. She seemed embarrassed. But why? Because Jason was talking so candidly about their intimate scenes? Or because she was uncomfortable with the prospect of my hands on her and didn’t want to say so out loud?

“Well, it doesn’t have to be so damn serious,” Jason countered. “Honestly, Chloe, I just want to make you feel good. You set the rules, like always. Let’s have a little fun.”

Like always.
Well, that explained her bossiness when dictating the terms of our cropping scene. Apparently, she was accustomed to telling Doms what to do to her. Maybe the experience we’d shared truly was her first time fully submitting. Pride heated my chest at the thought. Jason had never mastered her, but I had.

I reached out and wrapped my fingers around her small hand. Her chocolate eyes found mine, wide and uncertain.

“Tell me what you want, princess.” I issued a gentle command. “If you want to try a scene with both of us, I’ll make it happen. We won’t touch you any more than you’re comfortable with. But if you want Jason to fuck off, I can make that happen, too.”

“There’s no need for that, Dex. I’m a lover, not a fighter,” he declared flippantly.

I didn’t bother to call him out on the lie. Jason was a damn good agent, and he could be deadly with his bare hands, if necessary.

I kept Chloe locked in my gaze, waiting for her decision. Jason might be acting like this was just another kinky game, but I knew it was more than that for her. She’d be putting herself on the line, making herself vulnerable again.

“You can trust me, remember?” I reminded her. She didn’t need to be frightened, not when I was with her.

“I know I can,” she said softly.

“If we do this, we will need to touch you. Both of us. But only with our hands. Are you comfortable with that?”

“I…” She wet her lips with her tongue. I stared at her sensual mouth, transfixed.

“I can do that,” she finally said, her voice still soft and breathy. “You can touch me.”

“Your permission isn’t enough,” I told her. “Tell me you want it. Tell me you want me to touch you.”

“I want you to touch me, Sir.”

Jason let out a low whistle, ruining the intimate moment. “I’ve never seen subbie Chloe before,” he remarked. “This is going to be fun.”

I shot him an annoyed glare. Chloe shook herself slightly and edged away from me, turning a falsely bright smile on Jason.

“I’m sure it will be,” she said, all flippant sweetness and no submission. The confident, distant woman was back, hiding the softness at her core.

I steeled myself for the challenge ahead. Jason was wrong; this wasn’t a game, it was a battle of wills. One that Chloe desperately needed to lose, if only she would let herself. She’d been so beautiful in her submission, so
free.
I’d make sure she reached that state again. She needed release. I wanted to give that to her, especially after I’d been the cause of her distress and emotional distance. I wouldn’t make the mistake of frightening her with my arousal again. This scene was about earning her trust as well as her submission.

And the first step to achieve my goals was to keep her focused on me rather than Jason. He didn’t know how to handle her properly. He was arrogant, accustomed to women falling all over him because of his good looks and confident bearing. He was a good Dom, but he didn’t bother to see past the surface level of his play partners. It was all about fun for him. He hadn’t been lying when he told Chloe he wasn’t interested in finding a sub of his own.

I don’t want that, either,
a small, cruel part of my mind reminded me. Katie had been the one for me, and I’d lost her. There would never be anyone else.

Go to work. Do some good. Go to Decadence. Fuck someone.

My mantra was off, this time. I was at Decadence, but I had no intention of fucking anyone. I could, however, do some good. I was going to help Chloe. I’d find fulfillment in that.

My mind made up, I decided not to waste any more time. I grasped Chloe’s corseted waist and stood, pulling her up into a fireman’s lift.

“Hey!” she protested. “Put me down. I can walk.”

I smacked her upper thigh where her black tutu skirt had ridden up, exposing the lower curve of her ass.

“You don’t get to make demands, princess,” I informed her. “You’ve agreed to the scene. You have your safe word if you need it.”

“Damn, Dex,” Jason said. “I didn’t know you could be such a hard-ass.”

I tried not to glower at him. I’d indulged in plenty of threesomes, but I always joined a couple. I was always the second Top, an extra cock. Usually, I didn’t mind. All I cared about was the physical pleasure of fucking and the high I got from dominating a willing sub.

But not this time. Jason didn’t truly understand Chloe, and I’d be damned if I let him take charge. She needed me to Top her. He was just along for the ride.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I told him coolly. We might have worked together for three years and frequented the same BDSM club, but we’d never been close friends. I’d been too concerned with keeping my sex life and my professional life separate, so I’d kept him at arm’s length.

“I guess we’ll get to know each other a lot better tonight.” He was still grinning.

I suppressed a sigh. I supposed it didn’t matter if Jason was just in this for a thrill. So long as he didn’t try to take control from me, I’d let him play with Chloe.

“Let’s go see which private rooms are available,” I said, asserting dominance with the subtle command.

“I think a spanking bench would be appropriate,” Jason remarked as he fell into step beside me. I nodded my agreement, content with the fact that he’d made it a suggestion rather than a demand.