He's So Fine (19 page)

“Not happening.”

“Oh, come on,” Jolyn said. “You can argue with me, during which time your hottie is getting farther and farther away, or you can give in and let me help you out. And honestly…” She looked around the shop. “It’s a nice place, I’ll give you that. Warm and homey. Sweet. But let’s face it, it’s not exactly my style. Not emo or dark enough.”

Real family.
Sometimes I have to really reach for it. But yeah, I do love them. Warts and all. That’s a family, right?
She stared at Jolyn. “I’ll be back in one hour. Don’t screw up.”

Jolyn lifted her hands like she was surrendering. “I’ll be an angel. Promise.”

Uh-huh. Olivia didn’t believe that for a second, but she wanted—needed—to believe in something. In family. In love. She needed that as much as she needed to go after Cole.

O
livia hit Lucky Harbor Charters first. The hut was closed, with a sign letting people know that the fall season schedule was now by appointment only, with a phone number listed to call.

Olivia ran down the dock and stopped at the boat moored there, hoping to find Cole on board.

“He’s not here.”

Olivia turned, but saw no one. Then two hands appeared on the dock, and a man propelled himself out of the water, lithely landing on his feet in front of her.

Tanner.

He was in a full wetsuit that delineated his extremely fit body, which was dripping onto the dock. “You were swimming?” she asked. “It’s freezing out.”

He ran a hand over his short, dark hair. His equally dark eyes gave nothing away. “It’s not that bad.”

She eyed the water, which was choppy with at least two-foot swells.

Tanner followed her line of sight and shrugged. “Compared to some of the places I’ve been, it’s downright balmy. And it’s actually calmer around the bend.”

Around the bend had to mean the far end of the harbor, past the bluffs and rocky cliffs into the open water—at least a two-mile swim.

Each way.

Holy cow. The guy wasn’t even breathing hard. “Do you know where I could find him?”

“I’m guessing in hell,” Tanner said.

“He told you,” she breathed.

“No,” Tanner said. “He’s not speaking to me, either.”

“Then how do you know he’s not speaking to me?” she asked.

“Just guessing by the slightly panicked look on your face. And no, I don’t know where he is, but I saw him just tear out of the lot. Burned some good rubber on his new tires, which is unlike him. He tends to baby his truck.”

“Oh, God.” Weak-kneed, Olivia sat right there on the dock. “I blew this so bad. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it was the right thing for me, not him, and I hurt him. The one person I didn’t want to hurt.” She shook her head. “So stupid.”

Two long legs came into view, and then Tanner crouched in front of her. “Hey,” he said, surprisingly gentle. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” She grabbed him by his very broad shoulders and tried to give him a shake.

He didn’t budge.

Instead, he took her hands in his and squeezed. “Tell me what’s going on, Olivia. I’ll help.”

“Why? Why would you help me?”

“Because Cole’s been happier with you around than at any other point in the past two years. Because you two are good for each other. And because you’re looking crazy right now and scaring me a little bit.”

She let out a low laugh and wiped her nose.

“Cole could use a little crazy,” he said. “His sisters notwithstanding.”

She choked out another laugh. “You might not feel that way when I tell you what I did. I lied to him about who I was and where I came from. I lied to everyone here, actually.”

His gaze was empty of judgment. “Why?”

She stared at him and realized that she’d not yet said the truth out loud. “Because Lucky Harbor was a new start for me. I wanted that. I wanted that so badly.”

Tanner frowned. “And Cole didn’t get that?”

“He might have,” she said, “if I’d told him. But he found out from my sister, not me.”

“Ah,” Tanner said. “He’s had a lot of that happen to him lately. He’s a straight shooter, our Cole. You got his back, or you don’t. He doesn’t deal with hidden agendas, subterfuge, or bullshit very well, never has. He doesn’t get it, just isn’t wired for it.”

“Because he’s real,” she whispered.

“Yeah. He is.”

She covered her face. “I can’t believe I’ve screwed up the first real, good thing to ever happen to me.”

“You love him,” Tanner said.

Her heart squeezed.

Tanner pulled her hands from her face and stared her down. “Yes?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. Her throat closed along with it. Just refused to allow air through.

Tanner’s eyes softened, as did his voice. “You aren’t the only one,” he said quietly.

“I want to make things right,” she said. “I
need
to make things right.”

“Then do it. He deserves that.” He paused and looked her over. “And maybe you do, too.” A smile curved his lips. “I’m rooting for you.”

She took strength from that, and as she headed to Cole’s house, she thought about what Tanner had said. Without a doubt, Cole deserved a shot at happiness again.

But the problem was, she did not.

Olivia didn’t find Cole at his place, or anywhere. She ended up back at her own apartment, where Becca was pacing the hallway.

Becca whipped around, spotted Olivia, and said, “About damn time. Is it true?”

“What?”

“That you’re some child star from Nickelodeon?”

Unbelievable. Though she shouldn’t have been surprised, not with Lucille on the scent. And this was, after all, Lucky Harbor, where crime was rare but gossip spread like wildfire. “It’s true,” she said.

Becca stared at her. “Wow,” she finally said. “Cool.”

“Not cool,” Olivia said, and gave her the CliffsNotes version of the situation with her family and Cole. “And also, I’m pretty sure the geriatric gang is busy putting out a hit on me.”

“They do move fast,” Becca said, and hugged Olivia. “Tough day. My sympathies.”

“You’re not pissed off at me?”

“Honey, no one understands self-protection as much as I do,” Becca said quietly.

Olivia remembered sitting with Becca in a rehab waiting room, clutching hands as Becca watched her brother check himself in.

Yeah. Becca knew all about it.

“You’ll explain it to him,” Becca said. “It’ll be okay.”

“Hello, have you met him? Once he gets a thought in his head, it’s in cement.”

Becca grinned. “Okay, so you go to him and make him listen to you. After you knock some sense into him, you tell him you love him and—”

“I didn’t say I love him.”

“Didn’t have to,” Becca said.

Olivia stared at her as her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, and answered cautiously. “Hello?”

“He’s at the Love Shack,” Tanner said without preamble. “Talking to Sam, finally. Go do your best. And I mean your
best
. Our boy put ornery into the dictionary. You got a frying pan to hit him over the head with?”

Olivia slid a look at Becca. “I’ll work on that. Thanks.”

“I’m not kidding about the frying pan,” Tanner said. “You’ve got your work cut out for you, but I’m still rooting for you.”

Her throat tightened. “Thanks for your help.” She disconnected and turned to Becca. “I’ve gotta go.”

Becca locked her door. “Where we headed?”

“We?”

“I’m your wingman, remember?”

Olivia stared at her. “I don’t deserve you as a wingman.”

“Now you’re going to piss me off,” Becca said mildly, and squeezed her hand. “Let’s go.”

Sure enough, Cole was in the Love Shack with Sam. The bar was filled. In one corner were the bluehairs. Olivia looked at Lucille. “I thought you were having tea.”

“Yep.” Lucille lifted a glass. “I’ve got a little bit of tea right here in my brandy.” She gestured to a table across the way where Cole sat with Sam. “You here to make it right?”

Olivia looked over at Cole and felt her heart catch. “Yes.”

Lucille smiled. “Attagirl.”

Olivia took a deep breath and headed toward the guys’ table. She could feel eyes on her, and she realized she’d just come up against her first real negative of living in a small town.

News traveled fast. And she was news, of that she was positive. It was in the curious gazes as she waded through the bar and grill. And for the first time in a very long time, she felt judged.

Vulnerable.

She drew a deep, steady breath and pretended she was on a sound set. A closed sound set. Everyone around her was just doing a job. Their job was protecting their own, and their own was Cole.

She understood that.

“You’ve got this,” Becca said in her ear, reminding Olivia she wasn’t as alone as she’d thought.

“Thanks,” she whispered to her wingman, and strode straight up to the guys.

Sam looked surprised as hell.

Not Cole. He met her gaze slowly, giving nothing away.

“You were right,” she said. “I was keeping secrets, but it wasn’t just you. I was keeping secrets from everyone. See, the very nature of a secret is that you don’t want it revealed. And that gives it power over you. Terrible power.”

“Everyone has secrets,” he said. “I get that. I’m not angry at that. I’m angry that I trusted you with mine; I opened up and gave you a part of me. I told you about my failures, and you withheld yours.”

“You loved someone,” she said. “It didn’t work out. There’s no failure or shame in that. But you have to understand, my whole life was a failure. You try dealing with that, Cole. For years I was successful, until I wasn’t, and it felt like the world watched me fail. Everyone knew me as Sharlyn, the loser child star.”

“Not me,” he said. “I knew you as…you.” He paused. “So what was real?” he asked. “Any of it? Or was it all a fiction you created?”

“We all create a fiction,” she said, aware that the whole damn place had gone quiet, but she couldn’t pay attention to that without losing her nerve. “But it was all real for me,” she said, and oh, God, how his look of disbelief hurt. “Yes, I should’ve told you who I was. I know that. But the truth is, I’m ashamed of Sharlyn Peterson, a spoiled child star who ended her career with a public meltdown. I’m not ashamed of Olivia Bentley, a hardworking woman who just wanted to be herself and live her life.” Just saying it out loud made her mad, and maybe it was unreasonable since she’d brought this whole thing on herself, but she found she was revving up to a good temper.

Cole opened his mouth, and she pointed at him. “I’m not done. You asked me why I ended up here in Lucky Harbor. My on-set tutor was from here. Mrs. Henderson.”

“Oh!” Lucille stood up on her chair and waved her arm to catch their attention. “A wonderful woman, and a dear friend. You were lucky to have her, honey.”

“I was,” Olivia agreed, not taking her eyes off Cole. “Lucky Harbor was her favorite subject. She told me all about it: the gorgeous Olympic Mountains, the pier, the Ferris wheel, the arcade, the people…especially the people, how you all loved each other, looked out for each other, always. Living here became a fantasy of mine,” she admitted softly. “One that got me through some pretty hard times.”

Cole started to stand up, and she pointed at him again. “Don’t,” she said. “I’m not done. You’re the guy who’s known for fixing whatever’s broken, and I admire that skill. I was just trying to do the same—to myself. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone in the process. I’m sorry about that, so sorry. And I get that regrets are a dime a dozen, and hindsight’s twenty-twenty, but I can’t undo it, Cole. And if I’m being honest, I should tell you…I’m not even sure I would if I could. Because when I first arrived, I promised myself a clean start. At first, I thought of it as creating a person, a character to play, because that was all I knew how to do. But you know what? This person I made up?” She pressed a hand to her chest. “She’s actually me. The
real
me. So you either like that person, or you don’t. I’m never going to be Sharlyn again, not even for you, Cole.”

And with that, she turned on her heel and headed out.

The next day matched Cole’s mood. According to his phone, Lucky Harbor was on storm watch, expecting the storm of the year later that night.

He pulled on his running gear and hit the pavement for a long, punishing run through town, past the pier, the diner, the bar, the firehouse…the art gallery.

Lucille was out front, struggling with a string of lights that she was trying to remove from her mailbox.

“You’re going to pretend not to see me, aren’t you?” she said, her voice easily carrying on the damp, salty air.

“Thinking about it,” he admitted.

She smiled. She was wearing bright red lipstick and a neon yellow tracksuit that said
PINK
across her sunken-in chest. She was barely taller than the mailbox and she was going to kill herself unstringing those lights. “Want to bring them in before the storm hits,” she said.

Shit.

He stopped.

“Aw, you’re a sweet boy,” she said, and had to reach up to pat him on the shoulder. “A little slow, but sweet.”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“The sweet part’s a compliment,” she said innocently.

“Uh-huh.”

“In fact, maybe you’re sweet enough to help some of my friends, who’d love to have their chores handled by Captain Hottie as well?” She took in his expression and grimaced. “I don’t have that much power, huh?”

“God doesn’t have that much power,” he said.

“Hey, it was worth a shot. Listen, honey, I don’t mean to pry, but—” She broke off when he snorted, and she smiled. “Okay, so I do mean to pry, and we all know it. But about you and Olivia—”

His smile faded. “I’m not going to discuss it,” he said. “She had her reasons for what she did to me.”

“Actually, I wanted to discuss what you did to her.”

He blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Well, you didn’t listen very well when she tried to talk to you, and also, you let her put it all on the line and then you didn’t reel her in. And here I thought you were the fisherman.” She tsked.

“She lied to me.”

Lucille laughed.
Laughed
. And then she patted him on the arm as if to say
You poor, stupid, penis-carrying idiot
.

“Can I make a suggestion?” she asked.

“Could I stop you?”

She flashed another smile. “Why don’t you make use of the World Wide Web on the matter?”

“The World Wide Web.”

“Yes,” she said. “Or as you youngsters call it these days, the ‘Internet.’” She added air quotes.

And when he just stared at her, she sighed. “You know,” she said, “for research?”

“And what might I be researching?”

“Why, Olivia’s illustrious past, silly. The one that made you so upset.” She gave him a light smack on the chest. “Listen, I don’t want to be presumptuous, but you should consider taking some vitamins to keep your mind sharp. You’re losing your edge, boy.”