Hey Dad! Meet My Mom (14 page)

I peeked around to look for a door bell.

Damn! It wasn’t there. It created an antipathy in me. I took a deep breath and knocked the wooden door hard with my hand.

As soon as the door opened, a guy in shorts, almost 6.5’ feet tall and an analogy of a ‘Raymond Man’, looked at me curiously.

“Yes?” he said or rather questioned in a fraternal voice.

“Hi, I am Puneet, Puneet Shrivastava”, putting forward my hand for a shake.

“Hello, what do you want sir?” His voice was intractable.

“Actually, I am new to this city, and your landlady Mrs. Martha has allotted me a room here. She told me that I would have to share it with three other guys”. I explained after a short pause.

“Oh, okay.”

The guy welcomed me inside. The room looked like a fish market, a pile of clothes was tossed like garbage into the dustbin, and the walls were literally advertising rather promoting beautiful Bollywood heroines, bed sheets were flung far away from the beds, pillows had no covers, coke cans were lying around in the corners and food packet wrappers under the beds. My very first reaction after seeing all this was, “Ewww!!”

I didn’t know from where to begin so I started with the basics of all conversations which was ‘what is your name?’

“My name is Ashish; third year Bachelor’s, let me introduce you to the other two guys, my brodas.”

Ashish whistled and called them out of the room. Both came, casting me strange looks. He then introduced everyone, starting with me.

“Guys, I’d told you to pay up our rent, Mrs. Martha is such a greedy lady, she just needs money, now we must stop ordering pizza and save up our cash to pay the rent on time otherwise today we have Puneet and tomorrow some Navneet will come”, said Ashish, making the atmosphere quite embarrassing for me.

“Excuse me, if you have any problem with me, please do let me know, I can arrange for different accommodation.” I said getting nerved with Ashish.

“No, that’s fine. I was just joking. Anyway, this is Yash Agrawal, the regular canteen visitor; he too is your senior.” Ashish spat as Yash got up and threw me a friendly hug.

“Hey, nice to see you bro, which department, you too computer science?”

“Yeah.”

“For any canteen queries you can contact me from breakfast to dinner. I can make food available at a discounted price.” Yash said with a wink and a smirk.

“This is Umesh, the complete girls’ database.” Ashish introduced Umesh, a guy with a funny habit of keeping track of all the girls right from where they lived, what they did, what they liked, who they dated, etc. etc., and whatever else one could imagine.

“Oh please Ashish! You know that’s my one great talent that none of you idiots have, so remember to talk to me with respect especially now because you need a girl for the upcoming fresher’s party.” He playfully threatened everyone around.

“So Puneet, Yash can help you with canteen matters and I will help you with the girls. Well, do you have any one already? Or still a barren land?” Umesh countered both Ashish and me in a mortifying manner.

“No, I don’t have any girlfriend; I am just a 12th pass out.” I said with little hesitation.

Hearing that, all of them laughed out loudly.

“God! Puneet let me introduce you to the guy who almost finished dating four girls by the time he was in Std. 12th”, Ashish laughed and pointed towards a guy who had just entered the room.

“Enough you guys, don’t you all know what it feels like when you date a girl? And for your information, girls are crazy for my six pack abs, so it’s not my mistake, it’s my physique that attracts them, I don’t go around inviting them. You have all seen what happened with Sheela and Leela, both of who proposed to me in public, raping my reputation but who cares, girls come and go in my life. But I am still waiting for a perfect girl who drives me crazy for her.” John justified himself to this stranger ‘Puneet’. He lived in a nearby PG accommodation but spent most of his time here.

“John, are you really looking for a girl? Bravo! Though bro, before finding that perfect girl, make sure you get your AIDS- test done.” Ashish and Yash laughed out even more loudly this time.

“Hmm, you fools, I know you are jealous because no girl falls into your traps.”

“Oh please John, we are not like you, just playing around with girls, and by the way what’s your current bank balance? Nowadays we have seen you buying roses and gifts regularly, your other three bros are also alive man, think of them too sometimes, we poor people don’t have any money to buy our personal stuff.” Yash and Umesh were swiping their mobile screens while Ashish was observing each and every activity closely.

Looking at Ashish I got to know that he was a great observer and quite a good guy unlike the ‘database’ stories I had been fed.

“So, dude what are you up to?” Yash asked me in a comradely way when he saw that I was finding it difficult to express or adapt to the environment.

“Nothing, actually I am feeling hungry, sorry to say, but I’ve been in the train the whole day and these rains have also made me tired, so can you please let me know where I could order food from or where the nearest restaurant is?” I was dying of hunger while these guys seemed to have wound up with dinner already.

“Wait bro, today I’ll arrange dinner for you, but from tomorrow you have to help yourself.” Ashish sweetly got up from the couch and rushed towards the kitchen, while the other three were busy with Umesh’s phone. God only knew what was so interesting that was going on in his cell phone that none of them even turned their eye balls a bit.

“Frozen
idli
and
dal,
this is all that we have, if you want hot dal, you can ask Mrs. Martha to allow you to use her microwave.” Ashish came out of the kitchen, holding the dish like a waiter, lifted close to his shoulder allowing a little gap.

“Microwave, and Mrs. Martha...... ”, once again all of them laughed.

God only knew what was so funny with this lady. She had been so calm and good to me, I didn’t understand why they reacted like this when they heard her name. I felt a strong urge to find out the funny secret which the four of them shared. But that was not so important as of now because what mattered to me the most at that moment, was the
idli.

After finishing my dinner and talks, we all headed to bed. My mind was heavy with all the eventful happenings of the day.

I got up with a sweet rhythm penetrating deep into my ears waking me out of my slumber. Yes, it was the first day and I wanted this day to be etched into my memory. I quickly scanned the room and the other three guys were still amorous with their bed. I took out my best pair of casuals, gave my hair a cool spiked look and sprayed AXE deo over myself that left me with a lingering fragrance. I was ready on time, as Ashish got up rubbing his almond shaped eyes, giving me a strange look.

“Hi, good morning, its 9:30, and our college will start by 10, if I am not wrong.” I said while folding my sleeves.

“Dude, are you mad, are you going to get married today?”

Ashish’s question made me rethink my attire. I checked myself like a girl as if there was something odd about my looks. I thought it was perfect, nothing more nothing less.

“I didn’t get you, Ashish.”

“You are naive, leave it. Please wake up Yash and Umesh while I freshen up, and open the door, Chottu might come with the tea, tell him to bring one more cup for you.”

“Okay bro, but where is John?”

“He goes to the gym in the morning; he will come directly to college.”

“Cool.”

All four of us then left for college, it was an uphill road and my heart was wondering what was to come that day and most importantly who would be my partner for the fresher’s party as my roommates had informed me that a fresher’s party was approaching soon.

Finally we reached college and a group of guys and girls headed to our classroom, instructing every newbie to reach ‘Siddharth’ hall in the next five minutes.

“Excuse me, can you please direct me to the hall?” I asked one of the seniors.

“Go left, then straight, then right, then there is a staircase leading to the first floor, then from there go right, then again straight, then again a staircase leading to the second floor... ”

“Yeah, then again right and then left and then straight. I got you, thank you.” I cut in the words of senior.

“Dude, where are you from? And how dare you cut me in between?” The senior lifted his hand and put it on my shoulder, while his friends surrounded me making a ring as if it was some boxing championship and soon we were about to start fighting, only boxing gloves were missing in that scene.

“I am sorry, Mr.. ”

“Sir, call me sir, for you guys sir is enough as you are not yet fit to call me by name.”

“Okay, no problem. I am sorry sir for asking you the way to Siddharth hall, I will find it on my own.”

“Oh, but why should you find it on your own, aren’t your seniors alive to guide you?”

“Sorry, that’s not the case.”

“Friends, don’t you think this guy has got a long tongue? What is your name?”

“Puneet Shrivastava.”

“A man with hot blood, nice to see a man in this campus.”

“Open your eyes; you’ll see lots of them around.”

“Shut up you idiot! You talk too much, and since the past fifteen minutes have been getting on my nerves. Leave now before I make you pay for wasting my time.”

“Well, I just asked you for directions, it’s you who started the crap, had you just directed me correctly, I would have not got on to your nerves.”

“Whoa! Meet me later. I’ll teach you how to behave.”

“Why should I meet you? If you want to meet me, you can come to me.”

The scene had become one of animosity. The senior guy swayed his hand behind, ready to throw a punch at me, and just like in Bollywood movies, someone came as a savior and stopped the punch from coming towards my face. He was my savior, Ashish.

“Rahul, what’s your problem?” Ashish asked with equanimity.

“You stay away from us.”

“Yeah, even I am not interested but I can’t see anyone causing harm or maligning our juniors.”

“Oh yeah, look friends, Lord Krishna has come to save his Parth.” Rahul pejoratively spoke to his friends.

“Look, Puneet is new to this milieu”, said Ashish, in a serious tone.

“Cool, as if we were born and bought up in this milieu”, said Rahul with a sardonic air.

“Puneet, what’s the matter?” Ashish inquired.

“Nothing, a group of seniors came up and instructed all the fresher’s to accumulate at Siddharth assembly hall and being a newbie I didn’t know which way to go, so I just asked him.”

“Guys, look at this Puneet Shrivastava, speaking out his heart like a new bride in front of her mom.” Rahul poked again.

“That’s enough Rahul; come Puneet, I’ll take you there, and others you too can follow us.” Ashish pacified all the juniors around and everyone followed him.

During this entire time, there was an innocent pair of eyes witnessing us, her thick black hair spread around her shoulders, a perfect pair of heels matching her
punjabi suit,
a sling with a pink Barbie pinned to it.

I wish I could have had Umesh, the database, with me at that time, so I could have found out all about her. Yeah, it was either a crush or love or a similar stupid feeling that was arousing in me for the very first time since the 9th standard.

Yeah, I had had a crush when I was in the 9th; I had lied to my roommates the previous night.

The principal and directors of the college presented their speech about the campus and student behavior and responsibility towards the academic years. The grandiose words made me feel elated for being a part of such a reputed college.

As soon as the orientation program was over, Rahul’s gang started following me. I was caught up in the conflict of whether to listen to my institution and face them or follow the golden rule of ‘ignorance is bliss’. I chose the second option. They kept following me and I kept on walking as if they were Toms and I was Jerry, when suddenly I found myself in an isolated corner, and the group of boys surrounded me. I wish I could have the super powers of Singham or Krrish so that I could have flown off, away from the circle but sadly I had none.