Hidden in Lies (25 page)

A COUPLE HOURS
later, Alex returns and sends the other security guy home. I don’t even know his name. Whenever Alex is gone, he just sits there silently. It’s pretty awkward. As soon as I see his handsome face, a smile breaks out on my own. I can’t help it. Things finally seem to be looking up for me and I haven’t felt this light in years. It’s as if my future and all its possibilities are right in front of me and all I have to do is grab it. I’m so close to being free.

“Hey, gorgeous. What’s that smile for?” He walks in and shrugs off his coat before hanging it on the rack.

“Nothing, just happy to see you.” Butterflies take flight in my stomach as I think of how I’m going to tell him the good news.

“I thought you were celebrating my absence, remember?”

I shrug. “What makes you think I didn’t?” He chuckles and wraps his arms around me in a hug and rests his chin on top of my head.

“Let’s have a seat in the living room. I want to give you something,” he says. We walk into the other room hand in hand and have a seat on the sofa. He looks down and I’m suddenly nervous. He’s acting strange and is fidgeting. The confident man I’ve grown to love—yes, love—is replaced by this unsure person before me. My knee starts bouncing up and down as I wait for him to tell me what’s going on. He takes a deep breath as his hand runs through his hair. “So, I know Christmas is next week, but I wanted to give you your gift now while we have some privacy.” He pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it to me.

His nervous energy radiates off of him and is absorbed by me. With shaky hands, I slowly untie the ribbon, looking up at him as I go along. Once the paper is off, I open the box. Nestled in some tissue paper is what looks like a scrap piece of gold metal. It’s not very big, but has a stem of some sort with a mangled piece on top. It almost looks like a mushroom. I grab it and pull it out of the box and notice that the stem is connected to a chain and I realize it’s a necklace. My eyes return to his waiting for some sort of explanation about what this is.

“I’ve seen a lot of dark things in my life, things I’d like to forget. When I first got out of the Army, those memories were constantly threatening to drag me down and engulf me. Consume me. I fought back, not really understanding the purpose of doing so at the time, but something told me I had to. That I couldn’t sit back and let the bad stuff in life drown me out. I know why now.” He grabs my hand and stares into my soul. “You. You’re my purpose. I believe now that you’re the reason I made it out alive and you’re the thing that’s going to keep me in the light.” He releases my hand and grabs the scrap piece of metal, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. He stares at it as he says, “This is one of the bullets they pulled out of my arm on the last mission I went on. I got so damn lucky that day whereas my guys—my brothers—didn’t. I’ve carried this in my pocket every day for two years as a reminder to be thankful for life. Because in the blink of an eye, it can all be taken away.” His focus comes back to me as he continues. “But I don’t need it anymore. You’re my reminder and I thank God every day for saving me and getting me home because it ultimately led me to you.”

I don’t try to stop the tears. That was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I lean forward, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him. I can taste the salt of my tears, and I use that to pour every bit of emotion I feel for Alex into this kiss. All the apprehension about telling him I’m leaving Cal flies out of the window as Alex reciprocates my affection. Before things get too carried away, I pull back. “I have something for you too.” I stand up and pull on his hand so that he follows me. Once we’re in the bedroom that I’ve been sleeping in, I gesture for him to have a seat on the bed.

“I didn’t have a chance to wrap this,” I say as I dig through a drawer to pull out the gift I made for him. I hand him the small frame. It’s nothing fancy, just a plain, sleek, silver frame, but it’s what’s inside that matters.

“A button?” His head tilts to the side as he stares at the button neatly placed in the center of the glass. He looks up at me, confusion written all over his face.

I sit down next to him on the edge of the bed. “This isn’t just any button, but one of the buttons you so graciously tore off my blouse that day in the kitchen.” A slow, salacious grin spreads across his face. I roll my eyes. “You’re such a perv. That’s not the reason I gave it to you.” Suddenly, I’m nervous again and I understand why Alex was acting bizarre when he had to explain his gift to me.

When I swept up the buttons that were scattered around the kitchen, I had missed this one. There it was sitting in the middle of the island. I could’ve sworn I cleaned that area off, but I looked at it as a sign. Like everything involving Alex, I was drawn to it for some unexplainable reason, so I kept it. At the time, I planned to hold on to it as a memento to my time with Alex.

“That day in the kitchen, I wanted to give myself to you, but we both knew I couldn’t. Things have changed and this button signifies the first step in my journey to finding myself and being happy. A journey that started with you.”

He shakes his head slightly. “I’m still not following you, sweetheart.”

“I’m leaving Cal.” My words come out barely above a whisper. Now that I’ve said it out loud, reality has slammed down on me. I’m terrified of what will happen, how Cal will react, and what my future holds. But looking into Alex’s sweet eyes, I know I can get through all of it with him by my side.

He sits up straight. “What—how—what about your mother?” he stammers through his questions.

I hold up my hand. “I talked to my mom this morning while you were out. Her MS is in remission. She doesn’t need the treatments or the other expensive medication anymore.” He pulls me into a crushing hug, and for a moment all of my fears over this huge decision are forgotten. I really never thought I’d ever be able to leave the hell I’m living in. I’ve been resigned to the fact that I’ll spend the rest of my life in this unhappy, unhealthy marriage to prolong my mother’s quality of life. My lies created this web of deception that blocked out any light to expose my true self.

With Alex’s help, I’ve been able to pull back the layers thread by thread, and I now see a ray of hope shining out before me. Happiness is within my reach, and the thought of grabbing hold of it supersedes any of the doubts I have about leaving.

“That’s awesome!” He pulls back and places a few kisses on me before holding my face in my hands and searching my face. My mouth turns up in the corners, but the quiver of my bottom lip gives away my emotions. “What’s wrong?”

I’m just going to come out and say it. “Are you coming with me?” My teeth rake over my bottom lip.

“Seriously? I thought that was the plan all along if you were able to get out.” I breathe out a sigh of relief that’s cut short by Alex’s lips on mine. It doesn’t take long for his sweet kisses to turn downright sinful. He explores my mouth with his tongue, eliciting moans from me when he strokes the right spots. I break the kiss, kick off my shoes, and crawl backward up the bed, maintaining eye contact the whole time in invitation. He accepts without hesitation, following after me like an animal on the hunt. I’m lying on my back while he settles himself on top of me with his hips wedged between the apex of my thighs. Each hand is placed on either side of my head supporting his body weight as he’s suspended above me. He stares into my eyes like he always does, seeking the final go ahead before things advance. I fist the front of his shirt in my hand and pull him down onto me until his mouth collides with mine.

He tortures me with his mouth as he nips, sucks, and kisses me, working my body into a frenzy, until I’m writhing for more contact. Soon, I can’t take it anymore. “Please, Alex. I need more.”

“Shhh, don’t worry, sweetheart. You’ll get more. Just relax and enjoy everything I do to you.” Oh, I am. That’s not the problem. The problem is the painful throbbing in my clit as I rub my center against him in a desperate need for friction. Taking the hint, Alex hooks his fingers in the top of my pants, dragging them down my legs at a painfully slow pace. Once he removes them, he moves back up my body while placing open-mouth kisses up my leg, to my inner thigh, and on my panty-covered heat. My hips jerk at the contact, liquid pooling in my center as he teases his way around the spot I want him the most. I fist my hands in his hair trying to direct him to my core, but he laughs softly before pulling away from my reach. “Place your hands above your head,” he commands. When I realize he’s not going to touch me until I comply, I reluctantly put my hands above my head as the torture continues. But God, what a glorious torture it is. I’ve never been with a man who puts my needs above his own, and the fact that Alex wants to prolong my pleasure makes me want to tear his clothes off right here, right now.

His hands grasp the hem of my shirt, revealing a sliver of skin at a time as his mouth follows. My back arches when he kisses between my breasts, stopping to suck on the swells that aren’t covered by my black bra. I sit up slightly so he can pull the shirt off of my head. Before I can lay back down, his mouth is already on me again. He moves to my right breast, gently biting my nipple through the fabric creating a dull pain that makes me want more.

“Ahhh, Alex,” I say breathlessly as his teeth gently clamp down on my hard nipple. My legs wrap around his waist and pull him into me as I grind my body against his. The feel of his hard erection lets me know that he’s as affected by this as I am, and it’s a heady feeling.

“Sit up for me,” he says against my skin that’s been set ablaze by his touch. I do as he asks and he reaches around behind me to unclasp my bra. Once I’m set free from my restraint, Alex palms each with his hands. Looking back into my eyes, he says, “My God. You’re fucking perfection.” By the look and emotions pouring from his eyes, I know he’s talking about more than my breasts. I work hard to keep my emotions at bay, not wanting to ruin the moment by crying. But I’ve never had a man make me feel so important and want to show me in so many ways. He gently squeezes my breasts and my back arches again, thrusting them into his hands. He tweaks my nipples, rolling them between his fingers. I cry out in pleasure and throw my head back.

Pulling my gaze back down to Alex, I notice that he’s still fully clothed, and that’s just not going to work for me. I begin the task of unbuttoning his shirt, but once I’ve gotten a few undone, I lose my patience and end up grabbing the back of his collar and pulling it up and over his head. I run into a snag when I realize the sleeves are still buttoned, but make quick work of remedying that problem. Once that’s off, his undershirt soon follows. This is the first time I’ve seen him shirtless, and I could kick myself for not undressing him sooner. Every inch of tanned skin is mouth watering. His pecs, abs, and biceps are all sculpted to perfection. As my eyes travel over his body, I notice a few scars that start at his shoulder and trail halfway down his arm. The gravity of what he told me earlier hits me, and I realize just how close he was to never coming home. To never meeting me. I reach out to lightly touch them and when my eyes come back up to his, I see him watching me intently. Leaning in, I place a soft kiss on each scar, grateful that this man is here and with me.

His finger goes to my chin and he lifts my face up and away from his scars. The emotions brimming in his eyes must reflect my own. Understanding, acceptance, adoration. Maybe even love. He kisses each corner of my mouth before saying, “I don’t think I can hold out anymore, Elizabeth. I’ve got to have you.”

Praise Jesus is the thought that goes through my head. I didn’t think he’d ever give in to me. I nod my head and bite my lip giving him the green light. He lays me back down and removes my panties quickly. When his fingers touch my center, he sucks in a breath. “Fuck, babe, so wet.” He slips in one finger and my breath catches.

“More, Alex.” I clutch his hair trying to restrain myself from attacking him. He obliges, inserting two this time. My eyes close on their own accord while I whimper, the sensations almost more than I can bear. Finally, I hear the sound of his belt buckle being undone. My eyes spring open just in time to watch him pull off his pants and boxers at once. His erection springs free, standing proud, and my eyes widen. Dear God. When my eyes pull themselves away from his massive length to look in his eyes, I’m met with a cocky grin. I simply shake my head at his arrogance. “Now,” I plead.

He settles above me before stopping. “Hmmm, I kinda like it when you beg,” he says as he kisses my shoulder. I can’t see his face, but I know that smug expression of his is there.

“I’m not in the joking mood right now, Matthews.” He grins against my skin and I’m about to lay into him when I feel him nudge my entrance and all words cease to exist. Ever so slowly, he eases himself into me, pausing to allow me to adjust to him. My eyes close as I take him in.

“Open your eyes for me, babe,” he says softly. I do and I’m momentarily awestruck by the raw emotion exuding off of him. There’s always been this invisible connection between us, but it’s just been intensified tenfold and I can’t look away even if I want to. On one last thrust, he’s fully sheathed in my warmth, the fullness feeling exquisite. “You okay?” he asks in a strained voice.

I nod. “Yes, please, move.” He pulls out almost all the way excruciatingly slow and then pushes back in at the same speed. All of my attempts to encourage him to move faster are to no avail. He maintains this slow, torturous, delicious rhythm until my toes start to curl and I feel the buildup in my center. “Oh God, Alex. I’m so close.” He leans back, grabs one of my legs, and throws it over his shoulder. The new position allows him to penetrate deeper and has me crashing over the edge. I’m not sure what words leave my mouth, but I know they’re loud and followed by a lot of moans and screaming. Once I’ve ridden out the wave of my orgasm, Alex picks up the pace, slamming into me over and over. I’m surprised when my body starts toward the peak of ecstasy again. “Shit! I’m going to come again.” My words are but a whisper as I struggle to take in air. The pleasure robbing me of all oxygen.