Hidden Jewel (Heartfire Series) (41 page)

Micah looked up questioningly, his own eyes following the same sweeping path as Jacob's, seeing no sign at all of Ailill. He had not noticed her leave; his gaze had been trained on nothing but his own savage twin. Nonplussed, he turned back to Jacob, who was staring at him, eyes wide with superstitious fear.

"She disappeared, man, just like that! I saw it!"

Blinking dubiously up into the man's face, Micah grunted in response, a sound very like one of Ailill's. He started in surprise when her voice rang out clear and true a few feet behind his twin.

Dead Reckoning

“
You believe what you saw, Jacob, does that make it true?" Slowly, Jacob turned towards the breathy voice, eyes narrowed in suspicion, though suspicion instantly turned to alarm at the sight of her. His jaw dropped almost comically, but Ailill was far from any mood for laughter.

The bruises he had inflicted upon her in a fit of furious despair the night before were no longer perceptible. Her face was clear, if a bit flushed. Her eyes were dark, a shocking velvet-black, full of tangible pain and an undercurrent of her own unique fury, the blaze as visible as the bruises had been only moments before.

"You couldn't just leave well enough alone, Jacob, could you? You had to punish me because you're too afraid to know the truth, to believe it. You had to inflict violence upon me because you're
jealous
of me." Her voice dripped with bitter venom, her small legs advancing on the man inch by inch. "
Jealous,
because Micah has filled the void within himself and he didn't need
you
to do it. You
are
just like Kiah... a vile, wicked, selfish man. And worse than that, you have no clue as to what you truly are. You don't know anything at all! At least
I
do not deny the wickedness in my own heart, nor the peculiar balance which breathes life into my very soul." She eyed him coldly. "I see what
you
are, Jacob
Morna
. What am I to you?"

Sparks were almost visible between the eyes of the two; a willfulness so similar that Micah blinked in confusion, the ache in his head forgotten in the face of what it seemed Ailill had been about to say. When he opened his mouth to speak up, to deny such words from her own lips, Ailill turned a vicious glare on him, stilling the words, the lie. She turned that same expression on Jacob.

"What am I to
you
, Jacob?"

He stared at her hard, fighting an overwhelming compulsion to spill his guts to the woman and have done with every fallacy that had lead his life for far too long. "I don't know what you are, but I do know that you are not just some beautiful girl who grew up in Scotland." His answer made her blink in unfeigned surprise. His voice was tightly controlled, the effort making him sound somewhat cruel, though his eyes were clear, openly showing the truth behind his words. His forehead was deeply creased in consternation, in denial of an instinctual knowing that everything about this girl was pure and true. "I know that you're a tease; You play with Micah's emotions like a whore and then leave him wanting you so bad it gives him nightmares! That ain't love, darlin'," he drawled. "It's usury, and it's ridiculous. Y'all could've screwed both of us a whole lot of times by now, but you haven't. You say you got no choice? Well, we're both willing participants here, in case you haven't noticed, but no; in the end you'll tease, nothing more. I should be surprised, yet, I ain't." His eyes flashed, slithered down her lush form as if he'd devour her; such an openly bestial look that it startled her. Ailill could swear she saw the glint of fangs in the snarled half-smile Jacob threw her way; she resisted the urge to touch her throat, the spot he had all but fed upon hours before.

"And, the most important thing I know?" he went on bitterly. "Well, I know that I would willingly fight you to the death if you try to take Micah away from me ever again.
We
thicker than anything you have ever known, little girl, and I wish you had never come here. I'm tired of you skirting around the truth of whatever the hell you are, giving riddles in the place of answers. It's
almost
worse than your little slap and tickle games. My Fate lies with him,
not
you. If I must endure a bloodletting in your name so that I can be with my own brother, then get it the fuck over with."

Ailill was silent for a long while, staring as if she could see right through him; the intensity made him feel uncomfortable, disconcerted. It was all Jacob could do to keep from squirming like a child under such open scrutiny. Micah watched them both uneasily, noted the fighting stance of each.

"You lie, Jacob," she said at last, the words half-whispered, sounding somewhat awed. "You cannot stand there and force yourself to hate me any more than I can force myself to hate you. If it were possible, I would have seen to it weeks ago and saved us all the trouble of this entire bloody ordeal." Her gaze roamed slowly over his face. "I see the truth even when you would deny it to my face, and how dare you for even attempting to lie to
me
. My heart is torn ever after in three directions and I will not deny it. Yours is torn between Micah and myself. you love him as you love me, though you know very well just how wrong such feelings are, how very
twisted
." Her eyes glittered with angry tears; the insult of what she had only guessed to be true cut through her heart like the cold blade of a dirk. "yet you try and place the blame on
me
, because you know deep down that he is meant to be
my
lover,
not
yours; and that
you
are meant to be with me as well, and you can't stand having no choice whatsoever. There isn't much difference here. I don't have a choice either.
I
must live with a forced polyandrous life, though
I
would never choose such a thing for myself. That is where I don't have any choice at all. But you know what?" Her gaze swept past him, to where Micah sat on the ground a few feet away, staring at her with narrowed eyes at hearing her own voice speak plainly, unemotionally, of something he, himself, had never dared put into words. She met his gaze evenly.

"I will give up everything that I have ever worked toward, every single thing, if my only true gain from going through with a joining that I didn't ask for is for my own mates to hate me after all is said and done. I cannot be with any man who does not want me, and I most certainly cannot lie with any man who would
rather
lie with another, be it lad or lass; who would hate and despise
me
because I was born with a purpose in this life that holds far greater importance than with whom I choose to sleep." In an instant she was standing directly before Jacob, her upturned face fierce as she gripped his arms with preternatural strength. He flinched, didn't bother to hide his surprise.

"I will show you all that you wish to know. I will let you see what it means to be
me
, Jacob; to live every day in
my
shoes. I will take you into the darkness and show you the proof that what you believe may or may not be true. And then you can decide whether you wish to deny what is so impossibly clear each time you look at me. You can choose denial, if you'd prefer. Go right ahead, it would be your choice. I will not say aught, it's up to you."

Turning swiftly on her heel, Ailill grabbed up her pack and her rifle, setting off into the woods with a quick stride before either man had so much as blinked. Jacob stared after her with a bone-deep pain in his eyes, feeling as if she had continually scratched at an already raw wound, though the wound was deep inside, buried for years until she had brought it back up to the surface with softly-spoken words; with the plain truth, though the truth was not so simple as that. Micah was the first to move, hauling himself up like a decrepit old man, moving as if his life were slowly being sucked from his body and his soul by some supernatural entity, as Kiah had predicted. His heart clenched like a fist at the look in his twin's eyes. A look of unutterable fear, and dark regret, and the sorrow that had been held in for so long that it had become a part of both men.

Throwing caution to the wind, Micah stepped forward and reached out, an almost smothering embrace, his own hurt feelings in turmoil; a feeling matched tenfold in the tremor running through Jacob's long, lean frame. He held him for a long while, heedless of the fact that Ailill was probably watching from the wood, her own suspicions seemingly borne out before her very eyes at the way they must look. He did not care. She had only proven that she did not truly understand the closeness they shared; the connection between them that made their every breath, their every heart beat, their every desire, flow in unison. And he had thought she, of all people, would.

Jacob heaved one great breathless sob and collapsed against his twin, silent tears spilling down his angular cheeks; too exhausted to hide anything at all, too weary to act the big, strong male anymore, as Kiah had raised them to do. A choice had to be made, and he did not know if he could make it. He felt like he would be giving up everything, his very self, to be with Ailill, though he did not know exactly why he felt that way. For as many times as she had said they knew nothing about her, she had certainly not tried very hard to tell either of them what they had already figured out. Her own unwillingness to show her true colors had sent him hurtling head first over the edge after the drama of last night and the confusing revelations of this morning. He was truly ashamed of himself. The realization of his own unwarranted cruelty towards the woman who had brought the ability to love again back into his empty heart made the tears fall faster, harder, his body wracked with it until he was spent. Sniffling unselfconsciously, feeling much less strained, Jacob moved back and met his twin's eye.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it." The mumbled words were a soft whisper and Micah shook his dark head, understanding the feeling very well. "You're right, both of you... I
am
like Kiah. How can that be? I hate the man with every fiber of my being, but it all comes down to one thing! I can't do it. I can't love her. It'll all go wrong in the end. It always does." Jacob's tone held pain, wariness. He was truly afraid to let his heart lead him. It showed in his eyes.

Micah stared at him hard and took a deep breath, hoping that what he was going to say would not end up being a lie. "It won't go wrong this time, Jacob. I won't let it. I promise." His eyes held his twin's steadily, completely serious, compelling Jacob to follow through with the promise of Ailill, because he did not wish to give her up and neither did his twin. "
I promise
."

Staring for a beat longer, Jacob turned and picked up his and Micah's packs, shouldering his rifle with uneasiness as he watched Micah do the same, the cotton bandage stark white against the dark mass of his hair. As one, they turned and followed the path Ailill had made through the brush.