Hidden Jewel (Heartfire Series) (8 page)

“
I ken he loves me, Declan, for he told me that on my last birthday. He kissed me,” she admitted softly, her eyes continuing to roam the view outside the window.  Her friend and guardian stared at her in shock, her next words bringing on a sweat with the implications of them.

“
He cut me, to the quick, and uttered a binding oath to be with me, and kissed me again... so many times. I have never felt anything like it.” Her hand came up, the palm striated with a web of ugly scar tissue, and he finally understood why the wound she had come back with six months before had scarred where other wounds had not.

“
The pain,” he nodded quietly at her open hand. “It must have been unbearable, all the way to the bones like it was. I remember it well.”

“
Well, it didna tickle.” Her attempt at humor did little to dispel the importance of what she'd just revealed. Declan's mind was racing, his gut clenched at the voice in his head demanding to know all the details. Now!

“
I understand your hurt better, knowing this, Princess.”

Turning her gaze on him, Ailill flushed just slightly. “Aye, I feel stupid,” she retorted, suddenly angry once again. “We promised to love one another, with a blood oath, and then the very next day he takes it upon himself to dismiss me. I feel used, and it makes me aye, verra angry!”

“
Did he... mphmm... what I meant to say is-”

“
Did we make love?” she asked, eyes wide, murky with an ancient knowledge. He nodded slowly. “Nay. I sorely wished to, but Tiernan is ever the gentleman. He refused my body in that way.” Declan noted the frown marring her pretty face, the honesty in her eyes. He could not have hid the relief in his own face if he'd tried. “He preferred to spend himself upon the sand of
Inbhir N
ὰ
rann
and ignore me ever since.” With a roll of her eyes, she added, “there's probably a tree popped up there, in that verra spot, these past six months.”

Surprised, Declan laughed softly at her observation, his face becoming instantly grave at her next words. The wee lass was sure to give him health problems at an early age, if she kept on like this, he thought unhappily.

“
So then, my main reason for coming here, cousin, is to say that I am leaving. I have
geise
to fulfill and no mistake. I wished to say goodbye and ye werena around. Tiernan wouldna hear me out, so I'll leave it up to you to tell him for me, if he even cares anymore. I am thirteen and a half.
Seanmhair
says I have but another six months to grow up, finish learning, and find myself a couple more princes who can impregnate me so that I die yet again at fourteen.”

Sidling up to him, Ailill leaned up on tiptoe, wrapped small muscular arms about his neck and smacked an intentionally wet kiss in his stubbled cheek.

“
I go to try and help with the sickness that has begun to plague Mankind, on the outside. Wish me luck.” She was gone before realization struck, an odd sweet-spicy scent leaving a trail as the door clicked shut once again.

Leavetaking

“
I dinna wish it and I willna go, not even for you. Nay, I will not go back to Hidden Jewel to meet with yon strangers, to share myself with them, be passed around like a tasty piece o’ meat! How dare ye ask such a thing o’ me now, after ye
claimed
to love me? I did not ask for any but yourself, Tiernan MacDuff! I never have. When I close my eyes, ‘tis you I see. When I go to the feasting, I have eyes for no other, and I
know
ye dinna either. You watch me as I watch you. You leave when I do and I
know
ye dinna go back once I am asleep. I ken the meaning o’
that
, verra much. You love me, and I love you. You are all I ever wanted, since I was but four years old, and well ye ken it!” Ailill’s face was flushed brightly with feeling, the intensity of her onyx gaze startling with the depths of emotion coursing through her young body. Her full chest heaved with the exertion of fighting him, of stubbornly refusing to leave the land of her heart
again
; of proving her own objection to all that was expected of her with a fit of violent fury.

She looked... absolutely exquisite.

It was all he could do to stop himself from throwing her down right where they stood, upon the Clan graves of Drummossie Moor,  forcing himself on her in among the heather. He had never wanted anything so badly in all of his life as he wanted Ailill Bascna-Morna. It would be so easy. He knew very well exactly what she did
not
wear beneath her short kilt. The thought brought a gleam to his velvet-black eyes and Tiernan reached for her, kissed the girl with as much intensity as he had the first time, three years before, when he could deny the truth in his heart no longer. It had been so long since then, since that first kiss. The months of strain between them, after, only because he had not known how to control his desire for her, nor how to heal the growing pain within her heart, a pain that he had caused by telling her the truth. She had been truly miserable; as had he. She was gone for nearly two and a half years after that, working her own particular brand of Magick, out there in the real world. And then she had just appeared one day, out of the blue, at the supper table at Heartfire. More beautiful than ever before. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. He had almost shown her, a mere month ago, when he tried to make amends for what he had caused, just how deeply he had fallen, how badly he wished to change her fate. He had come very close that time to claiming what was meant for another; too close, stopped in the nick of time by Abby, whether she had meant to or not. His kisses since had been increasingly daring yet, without fail, the tall, perfectly sculpted young man would stop abruptly, distance himself, and leave her alone to ponder the reasons why he acted in such a manner; so contrary to their own kind.

This time, however, he doubted that he would have such discipline, such control, knowing that the eyes of the watchers were, for once, nowhere nearby. He had taken Ailill away from any others, away from an army of well-trained guards and the staff of Heartfire, to send her away from all that she knew and loved; away from him, though it had felt like the cold blade of a dirk had sliced through his heart to say it. It was more than the fact that he loved her, much bigger than the unhappy knowledge that she was promised to someone
besides
himself; two someones, to be exact, though his father had daringly added a secret dispensation to her rights of birth, long before, when Ailill had been a week old infant, knowing that his firstborn son would not wish for any other though the two other promised men, if they were ever found, might; hence, Tiernan was given the greatest of gifts, retaining the honor which had always been meant for him, of being her
chosen
. Unfortunately, when he had reiterated that fact, moments before, and repeated her father’s demand for her to return home at long last, Ailill had been more furious than he had ever seen her; violently furious, which was far from normal for the well-trained warrior; the leader she would one day become. 

By nature, Tiernan did not bruise easily, but she had hit him so hard; the tender flesh around his jaw smarted still, making him wince when Ailill’s small, child-sized hands came up to pull him back to her when he began to draw away. The boldness of the action caused an instant throbbing in his loins, a sensation echoed most painfully behind his eyes, throughout his skull. He took the unaccustomed pain of headache as a sign of warning and pulled his head up, too high for her kisses, holding her by the arms to stop his fiery first love from continuing her rousing actions. In a moment of uneasy clarity, he wondered if it had been wise to nurture her already inhuman strength to the point that they had; she was easily as strong as he; it was a struggle just to hold her away from him.

“
Nay, my love,” he said softly. “Tisna allowed. I am not to be your first, as I have tried so verra hard to explain for so long. I have protected your innocence for yon raven twins, the avian creatures from your dreams. ‘Tis one o’
them
that shall win that prize. If I were to give in, even this one time, ‘twould mean that ye forfeit all ye have worked so hard for. I could never live with myself knowing that my own lustful cravings had brought about the end o’ our ways, the end o’ all of us, no matter how ye make me want you. You are the last hope for the ailing Tribes, Ailill, sweet princess of all that is good. Especially now, after losing so many to the desolate sickness of Man.” His dark eyes pleaded for understanding, long fingers gripping her arms almost painfully to still the pounding of his heart. He was beginning to feel truly ill, stating everything so clearly as he had. His heart hurt nearly as much as his head; Ailill looked very close to tears.

“
I don’t
want
to be all that ye say, Tiernan. I want only to be
your
wife
, the mother o’ all the bairns you see fit to give me. Look at me... I am no whore; I don't belong in the arms o' three men, and well ye ken it. Love me, Tiernan, as ye wish it; as I wish it, and quit worrying o’er what it might mean. My mother never gave up her titles to be with James, she just gave up the right to the throne.” Her tone was severe, unusually commanding, with an edge of desperation. The oddly husky sound bounced off the hard bones of his aching head, and he pulled away with a rough jerk, choosing to leave her behind, as always, rather than give in to her unconditional love as he had wanted to since he was six years old.

“
Where are you going, Tiernan?” Her tone was unhappiness itself and Ailill ran after him with a heavy heart, unwilling to let the beautiful man off so easily as she had before.

“
My head’s fair coupin’, Ailill; my wame’s a gripin’ and my shanks are a’ wambly, lass. I need a bracer, or something...
anythin’
to make it stop.” His steps were so slow, Ailill easily kept pace, a frown drawing her brows down into a cinnamon vee. His accent seemed much stronger than normal, she briefly noted, then shook it off and stepped up her pursuit.

“
Why do you walk away every time you kiss me?” she demanded when he stopped and turned at the touch of her hand. “Why do ye deny what I ken you want? It canna be my age, as you aren't so young as you seem, either. We have both been of an age for a great long while now! It canna be my station, Tiernan, for ye are my equal in every way. You are a
Prince
o’ the greatest line. Firstborn son of a King. We are a perfect match, ye canna deny it. You made me a promise, the proof is graven in my own flesh! So, what is it that makes ye wish not to be with me?”

Staring down into her face, a face more beautiful than any he had ever hoped in his young heart to see nearly every day of his life, he saw the truth there, the wish that she shared with him, and he sighed softly, dropping to his knees before her, eye to eye. “You are right, Abby,” he said softly, lightheaded with the scent of her so close, so willing. “It isna any of those things which you mentioned. I dinna give a
fuck
about the reasons why I shouldna have ye, nor what anyone thinks o’ the fact that
I love you
, more than I ever dreamed possible. We
are
a perfect match, no matter which way ye look at it, as ye say. I
do
wish to be with you, Ailill. I have wished for it every day for years and years. I want you so badly that it has become an ache deep within my soul that I canna soothe. The problem here is that I only wish to be with
you
. I dinna care to share ye with any other, and certainly not with any raised by that blackheart, Kiah Morna, whether they share my blood or not. I have dreamt o’ them, the raven twins; they arena so bad. I believe ye could love them as well, but there is something odd about them. I believe they may carry more than you have been led to believe within their rich bloodlines.” His eyes held hers, wishing he could utter at least a bit of what he had so recently learned, knowing that he must not. Wrapping his arms about her bare midriff, Tiernan sighed deeply. “I wish ye safe, is all,
a leannan
, and happy. Sweet Brigit, I canna deny that I also wish to have ye, Abby; here and now, atop the graves o’ our fearless ancestors, with you more than willin’ to love me and me more than ready to please. Will ye let me love ye, despite the consequences, Ailill? For I dinna think I might stop myself if we begin once again.”