Hide Away (20 page)

*   *   *

Music, Eve thought drowsily. Faint, far away … beautiful …

Cara.

Far away?

Her eyes flew open.

Cara wasn't in her bedroll a few yards away!

Easy. If she was playing her violin, then there was nothing seriously wrong.

She drew a deep breath. Her pulse was gradually steadying. Okay, find Cara.

She crawled out of the tent and knelt there, trying to locate the sound.

The stone wall near the top of the ruin.

Cara was sitting there, her violin tucked under her chin.

And the magic coming out of that instrument was breathtaking.

Eve should tell her to come back to the tent. Cara shouldn't be out there by herself. It was all very well for Eve to tell Joe that they had a window of safety, but she wanted to keep that window guarded and close to her. She'd have to go and disturb that magic and bring Cara back to the tent.

Or maybe not.

There was a familiar figure climbing up the stone blocks toward the top of the wall. Moonlight poured over his fair hair and slim, powerful body.

Jock.

She felt a surge of relief and sat back down outside the tent.

Jock would handle it.

Cara was safe with Jock.

*   *   *

There was someone there in the darkness, Cara realized vaguely. Someone was below her, climbing the stones. The presence was friendly, warm, and comforting.

Eve?

Instant guilt.

She probably shouldn't be doing this. She had thought if she got far enough away from the tent area that she wouldn't disturb anyone. Darn it, that must not be true if Eve had to get up and come after her.

She sighed and stopped playing. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother anyone. I'll go back to—”

“As far as I know, you didn't bother anyone. I just thought you might want company.” Jock Gavin climbed the last two stones and was standing there. He dropped down on the wall beside her. “Having trouble sleeping?”

She stared at him in shock. She hadn't spoken to him since that night in the courtyard, but it wasn't as if she hadn't thought about him. He always seemed to be somewhere near, working with MacDuff, talking to Jane or Caleb. He was like the music, beautiful, warm, moving in and out, simple, complicated … stirring. Even when she wasn't looking at him, she was aware of where he was, what he was doing.

“Cara?”

He was gazing at her inquiringly. What had he asked?

Sleep.

“Usually, I sleep fine.” She looked out at the hills. “But like I told you, there's music all around us here. Sometimes I wake up…”

“And have to go join the music?”

She nodded. “Crazy, huh?”

“Not at all. I envy you. How does it feel?”

“It … fills me. Whenever anything goes wrong, it makes me able to take it and go on.”

“Everything?” he asked gently.

Elena. Jenny. Her index finger pressed hard on the violin string. “My sister and my friend were … killed. I didn't think anything would help. But the music was still there.” She moistened her lips. “And somehow it became … part of them.”

“That's a wonderful thing.”

She nodded. “I was so angry. I wanted to reach out and hurt. I still do. I went to church and prayed, but it didn't help. But the music helps. Eve helps.” She looked at him. “You help, Jock.”

“Me?” His brows rose in surprise. “I'm happy to be of service, but I don't see how that ever came to be.”

“You're beautiful,” she said simply. “Like that Tchaikovsky I was just playing.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “I wasn't expecting that.”

“Why not? You know what you are. Lots of people must have told you.” She made a face. “MacDuff even made fun of me because he knew I was sort of dazzled. But it wasn't because you were like one of those princes in Disney movies, it was because of what you are inside. It kind of … shines.”

“Really?” He was silent. “I'm flattered, but I'm not sure what you mean. And what you call my ‘shine' could never come close to what I heard tonight.”

“It does for me.” But she didn't know how to put it in words. She didn't know why it had tumbled out. Yet it was strange that she didn't regret it or feel embarrassed. Not with him. “There are so many bad people in the world who kill and do terrible things. But you wouldn't do anything like that. Inside, you're clean and bright and warm. Just being around you makes me feel like that, too. Like Eve. Like the music.”

He went still. “Cara. I'm not at all like Eve. The only similarity I have to your music is that I truly love it. I'm not what you think I am.”

“Yes, you are.” Her gaze went back to the violin she was holding. “Seth Caleb said something like that about you, but I don't believe it.”

“Believe it,” he said quietly. “Look at me, Cara.”

Her gaze lifted to his face. It was hard, intense, and unsmiling. “I don't know what you're seeing, but it's not the man you want me to be. I've been every bit as terrible and violent as the people who have hurt you in the past. I try to tell myself that I had excuses, and I was a victim, too.” His lips twisted. “But in the end we all have to accept responsibility for our own sins and try to come to terms and maybe change. There's nothing beautiful about me, Cara.”

She gazed at him for a moment and shook her head. “You're wrong.”

“You're not listening to me.”

“Because I'd be afraid of you if you were bad. I had to learn that bad doesn't always look like bad. I did learn that, so now I have to rely on what I feel. I'm not afraid of you, Jock.”

“Good. I would never do anything to hurt you. But you're too young to be able to judge the entire picture. I've done terrible things, Cara.”

“But you wouldn't do them now.”

He sighed. “How can I convince you? Yes, I would do them. It's difficult to stop once you've had that taste on your tongue. But I hope I would only do it to protect. But that's not a certainty, Cara.”

But how she was feeling was a certainty. She was trying to frantically adjust that certainty to what he was telling her. “Protect. That's like the police or the FBI or the army or even those knights who lived here in this castle. They all did bad and bloody things, but it was for a good reason. Right?”

“Wrong. You're talking about heroes. I'm no hero. But if I could be anyone's hero, I'd want to be yours. I'd like to be your big brother, your knight, anything you want.” He added gently, “I wish I could tell you that I'd qualify. I'd like the idea of you finding someone in this world to trust besides Eve and your music.” He smiled. “Try MacDuff. He has some heroic qualities.”

She shook her head.

“Then you're on your own. Caleb would be insulted if I tried to tell you that he's a hero.” He snapped his fingers. “But you have Joe Quinn. He should be more than sufficient.”

“I'm not looking for a hero. Don't be silly. All I said was that I know you're a good man.”

“Shining.”

She smiled. “Now you're making fun of me.”

He smiled back at her. “Because you took me by surprise, and I'm on the defensive.” He dropped to the stones at her feet and linked his arms around his knees. “And I need soothing. Play me that Tchaikovsky that reminds you of me.”

“I thought you were coming up to tell me to go back to my tent.”

“Do you want to stop playing and go back down to reality?”

“No.”

“Then play me that Tchaikovsky.” He leaned his head back against the stones. “When you're ready, we'll go back.”

She tucked her violin beneath her chin, then stopped. “You're not staying with me to protect me?”

“Why would I do that? That would be counter to everything I've been telling you. It would set me up to be a bloody hero.” He airily waved his hand. “So let me be selfish and completely self-absorbed. Soothe me, Cara…”

She looked down at him and slowly lifted her bow. Not a hero? She still thought he was wrong about that. But she wouldn't argue with him anymore. He'd been so busy telling her all the things he couldn't be to her that he wanted to be. Big brother, knight, surely somewhere in that mix was … friend.

She started to play.

*   *   *

“You're awake,” Cara whispered as she settled down in her bedroll an hour later. “Is that my fault, Eve? Did you hear me?”

“I heard you,” Eve said. “You shouldn't have gone without telling me. It might not be safe. The only reason I let you go alone when we were at the hunting lodge was that I knew it was safe. I can't be sure of that here. I was going to come after you, but I saw Jock climbing the stones. I knew you'd be okay.”

“It seemed safe,” Cara said. “There wasn't anyone around. It was beautiful. This is a wonderful place. Do you know, sometimes I look out at the hills and mountains and I see something, a rock, a tree … and then an hour later it's gone. I know it's probably shadows, but it seems kind of … mystical. And when I'm up there on the wall, I can see forever.”

“But would you be watching while you were playing? I've seen your face, and you're not aware of anything but the music.”

“You're right.” Cara stared into the darkness. “I guess I was stupid. I'm sorry to worry you. I won't do it again.”

“Not without telling me. But you didn't worry me. I told you that I knew Jock was with you.” She paused. “You couldn't sleep? Dreams?”

“No, I just needed to play. Sometimes everything gets all tight inside, and I have to let it out.”

“And did you? You played for a long time.”

“Yes, I was going to come back sooner, but Jock wanted the Tchaikovsky again.” She smiled. “Or maybe he didn't. He knew I wasn't ready and wanted to give me the extra time. He … understood.”

“I'm sure he did,” Eve said quietly. “Jock is nothing if not empathetic. And I could tell he likes you very much.”

“I like him, too.”

“That's pretty obvious,” Eve said dryly. “You were very definite about what a great guy he is when Caleb was mildly critical.”

“Because it's true. Or you wouldn't trust him.”

Eve hesitated. “That doesn't mean he was always trustworthy, Cara. When he was just a little older than you, he fell into the hands of Thomas Reilly, a terrible man who was chemically and psychologically experimenting with mind control. Reilly was involved in all kinds of criminal and terrorist projects. Jock became his prime subject. While he was with Reilly, he did … things.”

“I know that. He told me.”

“He did?”

“Oh, not about that mind-control stuff, he just told me that he'd been very bad. He said that I shouldn't think that he was anything good.” She was silent a moment. “But he
is
good. That wasn't his fault, and it was a long time ago. He's changed now, hasn't he?”

“Yes, it took a long time and Jane and MacDuff working with him, but he's changed.”

“Jane helped him?”

Eve nodded. “She wouldn't stop until he was on his way back.”

“That was good.” She was silent again. “But he's not all the way back, or he wouldn't think he's so bad.”

“Sometimes you can't return to what you were, you just have to go on,” Eve said gently. “Jock is doing fine, Cara.”

“He's wonderful,” she said with sudden fierceness. “No one should have hurt him. No one should have made him think he was—” She broke off. “You're laughing at me.”

“Yes, I was just thinking that you may have your first crush. You're getting toward that age.”

“No, you have crushes on movie stars and rockers. Heather had them all the time. That's not like this.”

“What is it like?”

She frowned. “I don't like the idea of the bad guys always winning. Elena … Jenny…” She paused, trying to work it out. “Jock. He still doesn't believe he's one of the good guys. He doesn't know about the shine.”

“Shine?”

“Never mind. But he's still hurting, Eve.”

“He'll work it out. It may take time.” She added, “You can't do it for him, Cara.”

She was silent.

What more could she say? Eve wondered. Cara had been surrounded by pain and loss since she was very young. Instead of growing callous, she had grown more sensitive to it. She had not been able to save the two people she loved most in the world, and now she couldn't bear to face Jock's being hurt. He had managed to reach out and touch her in a special way. Eve had known that when she had seen them together in the courtyard. “He won't appreciate your interfering in his life.”

“I could try,” Cara said stubbornly.

“Cara.”

“Jane helped him before, but she's too busy now.”

“Cara, he's a grown man, you're eleven years old. It should work the other way around. There's something wrong with this picture.”

“That doesn't matter.” She turned on her side and burrowed under the cover. “Jenny didn't think it was strange to tell me that I should take care of you.”

“And one more doesn't make a difference?” Eve asked ruefully. “You're setting yourself up to take care of Jock Gavin?”

“Yes,” she said drowsily as she rubbed her cheek on the pillow. “I'm going to take care of Jock…”

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND

Salazar was walking toward the exit at the airport when he received a call from Franco.

“I'm in London,” Franco said. “I've been scouting around Jane MacGuire's apartment and gallery, and she's definitely not here. She didn't leave any information with her agent about where she was going. Her landlord said he saw her leave in her car about the time that would coincide with an arrival at that airport in Scotland.”