High Anxiety (17 page)

“I should probably take you home,” I said.

“I’m having a good time,” he said, picking up his beer and taking a swig. “I haven’t been to a fun party since I don’t know when.”

“Um, Jeff, I don’t think you’re supposed to mix beer and moonshine.” I took his bottle.

“You’re no fun.”

The music stopped, and Hoss and Arnell returned but remained standing.

“We should blow this joint,” Hoss said to Arnell. “I have a room at the Comfort Inn.”

Arnell looked shocked. “Excuse me, but I don’t even know you.”

“You come to my room, and we’ll get to know each other real good.”

Arnell crossed his arms. “I’d like for you to leave.”

“Now, honey, you don’t mean that.”

“Get lost, pal.”

Hoss smiled. “You’re just playing hard to get.”

Arnell gave Hoss his best smile. “I have a surprise for you.”

Hoss grinned. “I like surprises.”

“Give me your hand.”

Hoss did as he was told.

Arnell placed the man’s hand against his crotch.

Hoss’s faced drained of color. “What the hell is
that
?” he demanded.

“It’s called a penis.”

Hoss looked as though he might be sick. “Let me tell you something, you freak,” he said between gritted teeth. “You tell anybody I came on to you, and I’ll put a bullet in both of your kneecaps.”

“It was very nice meeting you, Hoss,” Arnell said sweetly. “We’ll have to do this again soon.”

Hoss spat on the floor and stormed off.

“I’d better get out of here,” Arnell said, “in case that redneck decides to pull a gun on me after all.”

“We’ll walk out with you,” I told him, standing.

“You don’t have to leave because of me.”

“Trust me, we’re ready to go. You’re going to have to help me with Jeff. He’s not able to walk by himself.” We managed to get Jeff to his feet and out the door. “Deep breaths,” I said.

Jeff gulped in air.

“If you could just help me get him to my car, I would appreciate it,” I told Arnell.

“Where are we going?” Jeff asked.

“I’m taking you home.”

“What about my car?”

“We’ll have to come back for it tomorrow morning. You’re in no condition to drive.”

Jeff swayed, but Arnell caught him and, between the two of us, we managed to get Jeff inside my car. “Don’t forget to put on your seat belt,” I said.

“Oh, shur,” he said. He struggled to pull it around, then couldn’t manage to lock it in place. Arnell and I watched for a moment, both of us shaking our heads.

“All right already,” I said and reached inside to snap it in place.

“Wow,” Jeff said. “You make it look so easy.”

Arnell and I looked at each other. “Should I follow you and help you get him inside his house?”

“No, I’ll manage.”

Arnell waved as I drove away.

“Did you have a good time at the party?” Jeff asked.

“It was okay,” I said without enthusiasm.

“You sound depressed. You’re missing Jay, aren’t you? You know what I think? I think you should visit him.”

“He sort of has his hands full with the fire.”

“I’ll bet he gets time off.”

I didn’t reply. The next thing I knew, Jeff was asleep. Fortunately, I knew where he lived. The traffic was light, and I made the drive in record time. “You’re home,” I called out once I’d parked in his driveway. He sat up and looked around as though trying to get his bearings. I helped him to his door, unlocked it, and followed him to his bedroom. Inside, I ordered him to sit on the bed so I could remove his shoes. I went into his bathroom and checked the medicine cabinet for a bottle of aspirin. I filled a plastic cup with water and returned to his bedroom.

“Here, take this,” I said. “You should feel better in about a week.” He popped the two tablets in his mouth and drank the water.

“Okay, lie down,” I said. I found a blanket in the closet and covered him. He was snoring when I left the room.

I watched my rearview mirror as I headed home, but I didn’t notice anyone following me. My stomach growled as I drove, and I realized I hadn’t eaten. I remembered the quart of soup in my refrigerator and was thankful Willie-Mae had sent it home with me.

As usual, Mike met me at the front door. After I’d heated and eaten my soup and a large chunk of corn bread, I called Mona and told her about the party. Despite her low mood, she howled with laughter when I told her about Hoss and Arnell.

“Did you undress Jeff before you put him to bed?” she asked.

“No, but I removed his shoes. Does that count?”

“Damn, Kate, it would have been the perfect opportunity to see him naked. I don’t care if he
is
gay, he’s still a hunk with a great body.”

“What is your mom putting in those tonics?” I asked.

“Humor me, Kate. I’m bored out of my mind.”

“And yet, your life is still more exciting than mine.” As if to prove my point, I yawned. “Oh, I forgot to mention it to you. Thad is thinking of moving to West Palm Beach.”

“For real?”

“An old friend has offered him a partnership. The money is supposed to be great.”

“I’m not surprised. West Palm is a ritzy place to live.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

“I would miss him. We go way back, you know?”

“Hold it,” she said. “Is this the same shallow, insensitive man you were engaged to, whom you caught in his hot tub with his twenty-something-year-old receptionist?”

“We were never officially engaged, and he isn’t as shallow and insensitive as he used to be.”

“Kate, are you listening to yourself?” Mona said. “You sound like you still have feelings for Thad.”

“I was in love with him once.” I sighed. “How can I explain it to you when I can’t even explain it to myself?”

“You know what your problem is? You’re missing the hell out of Jay.”

“Duh.”

“You should call him.”

“It’s difficult to reach someone who is trying to put out a massive wildfire,” I said, feeling as irritable as I sounded.

“So leave him a message to call you back when he’s got a few minutes to talk. It’s not like they’re working twenty-four-seven.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Once Mona and I hung up, that’s exactly what I did. I thought about it. Finally, I picked up the phone. I took a deep breath and dialed Jay’s cell. His voice mail came on. I hung up.

I was preparing for bed when the phone rang. The caller ID belonged to Jay. I snatched up the phone before it could ring a second time.

“I saw that you called,” he said. “I was in the shower. Why didn’t you leave a message?”

“I figured you were busy with the fire,” I said, glad that he didn’t sound angry. Perhaps he’d gotten over our fuss. “I’ve been keeping up with it on the news.”

“Yeah, it’s a real bitch.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m calling from the motel where we’re all staying. I’ve got twenty-four hours of R & R before I get back. I was going to phone you after I grabbed something to eat.” He paused. “Is everything okay?”

I didn’t miss the tinge of uncertainty in his voice. “Everything is fine,” I said. “Couldn’t be better,” I added, and thought I heard a sigh of relief from his end. “I saw on CNN that the National Guard has been called in.”

“They’ve ordered mandatory evacuations. A lot of people are going to lose their homes.”

“That is so sad,” I said.

“Yeah, but there haven’t been any casualties, and that’s what counts. You see something like this, and suddenly your priorities fall into place. At least for most people,” he added. “There are always those who run back into a burning house for the family silver.”

I heard the fatigue in his voice and knew I should get off, but I wanted to hang on to his voice a little longer. “How bad do you think it’s going to get, Jay?” I asked. “Do you think it will be as bad as the one in 2007?”

“I don’t know. Everything is dry and brittle. We’ve got high winds kicking up sparks all over the place. The one thing in our favor is that we learned a lot from the last big fire.”

I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. “I’m going to get off now, Jay,” I said. “Go grab something to eat so you can crash for a while.”

“Thanks for calling, Kate.”

“Okay, I—”

The next thing I heard was a dial tone. I stared at the phone. He’d hung up before I could tell him I loved him. I should have been quicker. I was suddenly angry with myself. Why the hell hadn’t I said the words? Why hadn’t he? Instead we’d been as polite as two strangers meeting on the street. I wanted to call him back and make everything right, but I knew this wasn’t the time to discuss our relationship.

Maybe I was making more of it than I should. The man was flat-out exhausted and needed to see to his basic needs instead of dealing with a neurotic woman. I turned off the light. Mike was already snoring at the foot of my bed. I listened to her long into the night.

 

 

The next morning
I drank my coffee in front of the TV, where a news anchor was stationed not far from the fire. “We don’t have the names of the injured as yet,” he was saying.

My ears perked up.

He went on. “All we know is that the wind took another sudden turn about five a.m. this morning and sparked new fires. Two firefighters were trapped for twenty minutes. Hospital officials have listed their conditions as stable but guarded.”

I closed my eyes and said a little prayer. I was fairly certain that Jay would have been at the motel. I felt bad for the families of those who had been injured.

I poured another cup of coffee and went upstairs to shower. The phone rang as I was getting ready to walk out the door. I snatched it up quickly. Jeff spoke from the other end. He didn’t sound well.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Terrible. I can’t believe I actually drank moonshine, but I’m paying for it today, believe me. The reason I’m calling is to let you know my neighbor gave me a ride to the VFW so I could pick up my car.”

I gave my forehead a mental slap. I’d totally forgotten about his car.

“I’ll call you once my head stops hurting,” he said before hanging up.

I was about to walk out the door again when my mother called. “You made the newspaper again.”

“Oh, great,” I muttered. “What did I do this time?”

“The article said you had a preacher arrested. There is a picture of him in handcuffs.”

No doubt Bitsy had supplied the photo to the newspaper. “Just what I need,” I mumbled.

“It gets worse,” she said. “They interviewed that nosy neighbor across the street.”

“Bitsy Stout?”

“Yes. She claimed the preacher was trying to lead you to the Lord, since you’re a confirmed atheist.” She gave a long-suffering sigh.

“Mom, I know it looks bad, but we’re talking about a couple of kooks, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Kate.”

 

 

I was not
in the best of moods when I arrived at my office. I went inside, took one look at Abigail, and felt my jaw drop. She had obviously spent a good amount of time in a hair salon over the weekend, because she’d had her hair colored and cut so it matched mine. She was wearing one of the Jaclyn Smith outfits as well. Looking at her was almost like looking at myself in the mirror.

“Surprise!” she said, giving me a broad smile.

I just stood there, not knowing what to say.

“I woke up Saturday morning feeling down in the dumps, and I decided to re-create myself,” she said. “I told the stylist I wanted a whole new color, something really different. It wasn’t until I chose the color and cut that I realized it resembled yours.”

“It’s more than just a resemblance, Abigail,” I said carefully.

Her smile faded. “Are you upset?”

“Well. . . .” I hesitated. “I find it a bit odd.” It was more than odd, in fact. It had finally hit me that my receptionist was not only strange, she was a wacko.

I went into my office, closed the door, and called Mona. Once I told her what Abigail had done, she agreed that it was way more than just weird.

“That would creep me out,” Mona said.

“I don’t know how she managed to get the exact color and cut.”

“I do,” Mona said. “She took one of the flyers I had made up to promote you. It has a large color photo of you.”

I hadn’t thought of that. Part of Mona’s PR plan to launch me to stardom included an open house the first Monday of the month. Not only did Mona pay for the caterer, she handed out goodie bags that contained glossy flyers singing my praises as a psychologist. “Do you think I’m overreacting?” I asked.

“No. I think you should call the temp agency and ask them to replace her.”

“I’m afraid it would send her off the deep end,” I said. “I think she’s pretty unstable.”

“Duh!” Mona said. “Listen, Kate, the last thing you need is another crazy person in your life.” As I listened to her, Abigail knocked on the door and peeked in. “Mr. Eddie Franks has arrived for his nine o’clock appointment.”

“I have to go,” I told Mona.

I invited Eddie inside my office. He was a distinguished, smooth-talking man in his fifties who’d spent time in prison for milking a number of older women out of their retirement. He was also sweet on my aunt Trixie, so much so that they had almost eloped. In the end, Eddie had experienced a moment of guilt and told her the truth about his past. Aunt Trixie had promised to wait until he took care of his old business. Still, my mother referred to him as Slick Eddie.

“So, how is it going?” I asked. It was impossible not to like him, even though he and Aunt Trixie had scared the spit out of my mother and me with their elopement scheme. I’d come down on him pretty hard afterward.