High The Vanes (The Change Book 2) (16 page)

The first few steps of our journey were relatively easy. We had decided to return to where Tacita and Charity had left their tent. There was a slim chance that Charity had not had the same idea and reached the place before us. Surprisingly, we were in luck. The first night out we spent hidden beneath some bushes. I did not believe we had anything to fear, but the other two thought differently. None of us slept very much, and we set off as dawn broke the next day. After a long, tiring walk Tacita spotted her tent. It was well disguised. I don’t think I would have seen it if she had not been with us.

We approached the tent cautiously, half-expecting to discover Charity. It was empty. At least, it did not contain Charity. Everything that had been left in it, food, clothing, bags, other provisions needed for a long stay out here in the wilderness, was still intact. The tent itself was a marvel. It was large enough to contain all these things and still have space for two adult-sized sleeping bags. Yet it was so constructed that it would fold away completely. As Tacita showed us, the tent and everything it contained could be easily and neatly packed inside two ‘rucksacks’, as she called them.

“As you see,” Tacita said, “we are given enough to last the two years as long as we are careful in how we use it. That is part of the task itself. If you run out of provisions before your time is up you must return to your caster. An early return is considered to be a failure. Those who fail their Guard years are allocated the worst tasks.”

Eluned was searching through the packs. Soon she stood up holding a small, square package. “What is this?” she asked.

“I’m not really sure,” Tacita said. “Open it.”

Eluned unfastened the small clip on the side of the package and pulled out the contents. As she did so, two large pieces of material emerged.

“Flags,” Tacita said. “Why on earth would we need flags?”

“In case you discover an unknown land?” I said, laughing.

“Not very likely,” she said.

“You have sewing materials?” Eluned asked, turning the flags over between her hands. “Scissors. Needles. Thread.”

“We do. Though neither of us knows what to do with them.” She probed among the packages until she came across a small box which she handed to Eluned. “Will this do?”

“Very good. Forgive me, my lady. I will return as soon as I can.” With that, she left the tent.

“I don’t suppose there is a spare sleeping bag?” I asked.

“We can take it in turns, perhaps. Set up a rota for who is to use the bags each night.”

“Eluned will not allow me to be a part of that, I’m afraid. It will have to be a rota between the two of you. And knowing Eluned as I do, she will probably opt to sleep some other way. Don’t be disappointed if you ask her and she says no.”

“Shall we eat?” Tacita said. “I’ll find something suitable.”

To me, the domestic, comfortable nature of where we had found ourselves seemed too good to be true. I wondered immediately where the problems lay. There had to be some. This was all too easy. Too perfect. It was not to be too long before we found them.

After an hour or so, Eluned returned. She was carrying two shift dresses over her arm.

“What happened to the flags?” I said.

She held up one of the dresses. She had made it from one of the flags. Originally it had been largely a deep red sheet with a small device in one corner, yet she had managed to convert it so that the device was on the back, out of sight. The other flag had had a much larger device on a white background, but she had converted this to a shift with the device lying on its side on the front. It simply looked like a pattern, rather than the intended design.

“A much better use of the material, I think,” Eluned said, and I had to agree. “Which would you prefer, my lady?”

“I think the red one,” I said, wondering at yet another of her hidden skills.

Immediately, she handed the red shift to me, before stripping off her guard uniform and pulling on the white shift. I noticed that Tacita blushed deeply as Eluned stood momentarily naked before her, and she turned her head away. It was obvious that she had never seen a fully developed woman before, as she placed her hands over her flat chest. Out of respect for her, I went outside to change into my shift. It was wonderful to be dressed in this way again, after so long trapped inside the too-tight shirt and trousers.

When I went back inside, Tacita was examining Eluned’s shift closely. When she saw me she stepped back.

“Have you never seen such a dress before?” I asked her.

“Never. As small children we wore a shirt and skirt rather than trousers, but as soon as we were selected to be childless we always wore trousers. I think the child-bearers might wear such clothes, but I have never seen one, so I would not know.”

“Neither have you seen a fully-developed woman before, I take it?”

She shook her head.

“This needs to change,” I said, “for future generations, if not for yours.”

Tears welled in her eyes and she fled from the tent. Five minutes later there was a piercing scream. Eluned and I looked at each other before rushing outside.

At first we saw nothing. A second time, someone screamed. This time it was obviously Tacita. It had come from a small group of trees a little way from the tent. Eluned ran towards them with me closely following. As we pushed through some undergrowth under the trees, she suddenly froze and I crashed into her. We both fell to the ground in an ungainly heap.

“What on earth ...” I started, but Eluned freed one arm and pointed up. I looked and was horrified by what I saw. A body dangled from a rope, slowly twisting one way then the other. The rope was crudely looped around the body’s neck, the weight forcing the face into a hideously distorted, purple mass. Nevertheless, it was clear who it was. It was – or had been – the girl we knew as Charity.

“We have to get her down,” I whispered to Eluned as we untangled ourselves.

“I will loosen the rope, my lady,” she said, making her way over to the tree from which the horrible sight dangled. Within a minute or two she had scaled up the trunk and along the branch and was slowly lowering the body to the ground. I stood beneath it as it descended, and as soon as I could I unwrapped the rope from the neck. Moments later, Eluned returned to my side. Together, we removed the shirt from the stiffening corpse and laid it out as neatly as we could, before covering the grotesque head with the shirt.

Forgotten in these moments of panic, Tacita lay prostrate on the ground nearby, her face buried in her arms. “My fault,” she was moaning thickly. “It’s all my fault.” When I bent to touch her she threw me off, screaming, “Leave me alone! Leave me alone!”

Taking Eluned by the arm I led her back out of the trees.

“What do we do now?” I asked once we were clear.

“Nothing, my lady,” she said.

“We can’t do nothing. We can’t simply leave her there to rot. Like we did with Nefyn.”

“She has committed a terrible act. She must suffer the consequences.”

“A terrible act? She has done nothing. We left her when I should have persuaded her to come with us.”

“It was her choice, my lady. As it was her choice to die in this terrible way. You cannot take the blame. Nor can the other one.”

“Tacita? She blames herself already. You must have heard what she was saying in there. How are we going to get her away from this? How do we tell her that there is nothing we can do for her friend? Her dead friend?”

“We must wait, my lady. Wait until she understands why the dead one committed this act. Until she understands that there is nothing more to be done for her. Her suffering has only just begun.”

“Her suffering? Whose suffering?”

“The dead one. Her spirit will wander in the wilderness for eternity. There will never be forgiveness for a spirit that has denied itself life. That is not a choice we may make. Death comes when it is decided, not when we decide it.”

“Your beliefs are harsh, Eluned. She was a poor, bewildered child. Look what those men – and it can only be men who could conceive of what they do to these children – look what they did to her. Removed her womanhood. Deprived her of one of the main purposes of her life. To become a woman. Forced to remain a child for ever? It’s no wonder she killed herself. I think I might have done the same in her position.”

“My lady! You must not think or say so. Clear your mind of such thoughts.”

“I know. I know. But just think what sort of lives these poor women must live. Deprived of womanhood, forced into menial tasks for the rest of their lives. Sent out here for two years to do nothing. To learn nothing. What sort of man thinks this is a good way to treat women?”

“It is for this you have come, my lady. You see the ways in which these men have corrupted your world. You will be the one to remove them.”

“So you keep telling me. But how? How, Eluned? How can I, another woman, ever hope to dismantle the world that these terrible men have constructed? Taid knew there was a way. I remember long, long ago he told me something. We were travelling to Plas Maen Heledd. I did not know then where I was going, or why. On the way we met Rhiannon – the little guide. I’m sure you remember her?”

“Of course, my lady. She also is of the old people.”

“I can’t remember his words exactly, but we were talking about the Apostles – the so-called leaders of the Change – and he suddenly said that Rhiannon could become one of them. I was shocked at the time because as far as I knew only men could become Apostles. I did not know then why he said that about Rhiannon. Now I begin to think he knew much more than he was saying.”

“Your grandfather was a wise man indeed, my lady. Is a wise man. He still lives. I know this.”

“How do you know?”

“A spirit such as his cannot be extinguished easily.”

“Do you think I shall ever see him again?”

“That is the first of your tasks. To find your grandfather and release him. And you will.”

“I wish I had your confidence, Eluned.”

“It has all been long foretold, my lady. Long foretold. Spoken of by the earliest of my people. ‘The former things I declared of old; they went out from my mouth, and I announced them; then suddenly I did them, and they came to pass.’ These are the words of the Lady. It is of you she was speaking.”

I looked long and hard at her. Such belief. Such faith. If only I had a fraction of what she had.

“So,” I said at last. “What are we to do about Charity? And about poor Tacita?”

Several hours later, Tacita returned. We had made our way back to the tent, where I had crawled into one of the sleeping bags and promptly fallen asleep. I think Eluned must have slept, because I was woken by the sound of her voice saying, “Who is there?” several times. It was completely dark when I awoke, but I could hear someone or something moving about just outside the tent.

“Eluned?” I whispered. “Is that you?”

“There is someone outside, my lady.”

“Yes. I can hear it. It must be Tacita. I’ll let her in.”

But before I could pull myself out of the sleeping bag I felt someone running their hand along it.

“Tacita? Is that you?” I said, aloud, panic in my voice.

“You’re in my sleeping bag.” It was her voice. She was unfastening the straps on the side of the bag.

“Take the other one,” I said, trying to hold the bag together.

“No,” she said. “You take it.” She had undone all the straps. I could tell she was frozen. She pressed her
 
hand on my shoulder and I shivered. “I’m sorry. I need to get warm.”

Stumbling in the cold and dark I crawled out of the bag and made my way over to the empty one. As I did so, I could hear someone tying the bag again. “She needs sleep and warmth,” Eluned’s voice whispered.

When daylight came Eluned woke me. She unfastened the straps and pulled aside the top of my bag. As quietly as I could I crawled out. Tacita was sleeping soundly. Eluned took my hand and led me out of the tent. The sun had not long come up and everything around us was hidden in a thick mist. I shivered, almost wishing that I was still wearing the guard uniform, as it was heavier than my flag shift.

“We need to decide what to do with her,” Eluned said, speaking quietly.

“Who? Tacita?”

She nodded. “Do we leave now or wait until she wakes?”

“We can’t just leave her here. She was the one who chose to come with us.”

“That was before the other one died. Surely that changes matters.”

“She needs our support more than ever now. You saw what she was like yesterday. She stayed out for most of the night. She is upset. And no wonder.”

“She should not be upset. Her companion’s actions were pure evil. There is no reason to be upset about that. She should be thinking how to remove that girl’s guilt. Her spirit is doomed to wander this world for eternity, unless someone intervenes.”

This was all too much for me. I was not interested in Eluned’s strange beliefs at that moment. I knew we had to offer support to Tacita and encourage her, somehow, to continue with us. Moreover, we needed her. If we were to successfully find and penetrate Salopian Caster, it would only be her knowledge of the place that would help us. I felt somewhat awkward thinking this, but her presence was essential if we were to complete our task.

“No,” I said. “She comes with us. Without her, we have no idea where we are going. I will wake her up.”

Eluned started to speak but cut herself off. I went back into the tent to find Tacita lying in her bag, her eyes open, staring upwards. For one brief moment I thought she was dead, but she moved her head when she heard me.

“There is nothing more to be said,” she said in a monotone. “Don’t ask. It is over. We shall set off today, as we planned.”

“What of Charity?” I said, shocked by her cold response.

“Charity has gone. I covered her body with leaves. It will rot away in time. That is all she deserves.”

This reaction really astonished me. I had expected her to be, at the very least, upset. Instead she was cold, callous even. What could I say?

“We will pack as much as we need for the next few days. Then we will go.”