Read Him Her Them Boxed Set Online
Authors: Elizabeth Lynx
There are chimes going off and I sit up instinctively only to realize it's my alarm clock. Lazily I reach over to shut it off. Damn this thing, it's Saturday. What time is it? I flicker my eyelids trying to focus on the clock. Moments later the red blur turns into a shape, 10:00. Why did I set an alarm for a Saturday, oh that's right breakfast with the guys at Papermoon Diner.
My mouth smacks feeling like I just ate a bunch of pretzels without water. Wait, pretzels? Why is that word ...
In a flash images of the night into the early hours of the morning come flooding my brain and a stupid grin slides across my face. Oh, Josephine!
Instantly I flip over and find the bed empty. My smile fades and I look about the room, nothing. I hop out of bed and glance in the bathroom.
"Josephine?"
No response. She must be in the kitchen getting some water. My feet pad to the kitchen, but it's empty. I quickly look in every room and find my apartment is void of human life except my own.
"Josephine?" I yell loudly, but silence is my only answer.
"Shit!"
I thought we had a good time last night. No, we had a spectacular night. So, why did she just leave without a goodbye? Even the women I kick out after taking them home for the night, I say goodbye to. The thought makes me realize how they might have felt. Wow, I am an asshole. Perhaps I deserve this from her, sort of a payback for all the times I did it to other women.
But I don't want it to be payback. I never led those women on, never brought up my feelings or how I wanted it to last. Josephine said she would let me know when we woke up. She lied to me.
I feel hurt and angry. I knew she was too good to be true. She was too beautiful, too sensual, too smart, too funny, and too wonderful to last. Perhaps she was a dream. Maybe I had more to drink last night than I thought and I imagined the whole evening. That must be it, but I don't feel hung-over. My muscles are a bit sore and throat dry, but no searing headache or nausea.
I walk to the living room to where I last left my clothes. Yup, exactly where I left them when Josephine walked out of the bathroom, naked. God, she was beautiful. I'm getting hard again just thinking about her perfect, soft breasts.
Grabbing my jeans I dig into the front pocket and find my phone. Maybe, just maybe, she found my phone and programed her info into it. Turning it on I type in my password. Wait, password. She wouldn't know the password.
I toss the phone down realizing I am grasping at straws anyway. Moving into the bathroom in the foyer where she left her clothes there is no sign of her. Not even a misplaced towel. I'm starting to think I am going crazy.
She was here, I know it. There should be dirty dishes in the sink from last night. Marching to the kitchen I peer down into the sink and notice the plate of snacks we ate off of and smile. The images of her walking around my kitchen grabbing bags and food to whip something up float in my head. I walk over to the recycle bin and fish out our two beers from last night.
What is wrong with me, I am digging through trash trying to find something, anything, she may have touched. I need water, perhaps I'm too dehydrated to think properly. Grabbing a cup from the cabinet I let the water trickle into the glass from the filter in the fridge.
The cool liquid splashes down my throat and instantly I feel a lot better. My mind starts to wander again and I think maybe there is something in the bedroom or the bathroom of hers.
I march straight into my bathroom where just hours ago we were showering together. My eyes wander over the tiles on the floor and glass door of the shower. I can almost see her glistening body as the soap bubbles slowly skim her curves. My erection is starting to hurt from so much usage last night and from the feeling she is just out of reach. My nostrils flare as I catch a slight whiff of her scent. Closing my eyes I savor it as more images flash and pop in my mind. I can hear her voice inside my ear, "You walk up looking sexy as fuck and hit on me." I smile remembering our first encounter.
Snap out of it Pierce, now concentrate for something she may have left behind. As hard as I search I don't see anything in the bathroom except our slightly damp towels still on the floor.
Walking back in the bedroom I scan the floor and then kneel down, looking to see if anything rolled under the bed. Nothing, I feel defeated, so I plop myself back on the bed and look at the clock when I notice a piece of paper and some lace on the nightstand. Reaching over I grab both. I hold up the lace, it's her white lace panties. I shove it to my nose, closing my eyes and inhale as if my life depends on it.
Oh god it's her! It's her sex and it smells wonderful. My penis is really hurting now. Coming down off the Josephine high I look down at the note and see My Peasant Boy scribbled across the front with a kiss stain on it. My heart flips and I toss myself back onto the bed feeling happier than a school boy with his first crush.
Opening it reads:
To Sexy as Fuck Pierce,
Thanks for the ride last night. I hope to see you again.
You are a very interesting man with such unique talents. I'm sorry
I had to go without saying goodbye in person, but you looked so peaceful
I didn't want to wake you. I was hungry and wanted to go home to get
something to eat. You should go to your mother's place and have her
make you some food, so you have something to feed me.
As you may have figured out about me I'm a woman who is not easily caught.
Call me old fashioned, but I like to be wooed. I just hope you know how to
do that. If you do and you catch me then I will show you all my treasures.
To hoping there is a next time,
The Goddess
Wait, where is the phone number or email or something? Flipping the paper over and rereading the note several times I realize there is nothing I am going to get from it. She's just gone and I have to accept that. Tossing the note beside me on the bed I stare up at the ceiling fan lazily turning in circles. Maybe I will run into her around town.
I sigh and decide I should just get ready to head to breakfast. Perhaps talking and hanging with the guys will cheer me up.
I hop up and head to the bathroom. After about ten minutes I emerge and throw on some shorts and a t-shirt from my dresser. Opening the closet I put my high tops on. As I'm walking back past the bed, I notice a familiar, but foreign scent. It feels as if I've dropped something and a friendly stranger is tapping my shoulder asking "Pardon me, is this yours?"
The note, her note, is flipped over and upside down, resting by the pillow that seems to still remember the shape of her head. I can see the lines and tight loops of her alluring-but-so-her scrawl, but not understand it.
"Fuck it!"
I grab the note, tucking it in my back pocket before heading out.
To be continued...
My arm is being tugged, but I can't seem to open my eyes. For a brief moment I believe I have been struck blind but then realize something is in front of my face. A sudden flash of fear that I am being smothered to death grips me and I shoot up.
I have been asleep face down on my couch for a good while. Looking down my pulled arm I notice Luna, bright and beautiful as always, on the other end. She is trying to pry the wristlet that is still attached to my wrist, from me. I snag my hand back covering my eyes from the sun drenched room.
"Ugg!" All I can get out.
"I'm just trying to help Jos. Looks like you had a killer night!" I hear Luna's voice rumble around me like ice shards fogging my brain.
"You don't even know." My voice sounding dark and sultry, as if I just smoked a pack of cigarettes and gargled with sand. I am thirsty and still very sleep deprived and very, very sore.
"Well, you can tell me all about it over lunch. Now go get ready because I can't wait to hear about the juicy details. I also, have some details myself!" She is smirking at me while my brain takes a moment to process her words.
Our lunch date, yeah I forgot. After the night of sex fueled debauchery I had with Pierce I'm surprised I can even remember my own name.
I smile. He makes me smile. I haven't even known him for twenty four hours and just the thought of him turns my insides into Jane Austen's Lydia Bennet.
"Okay, give me ten minutes and I'll be ready to go."
I struggle to lift my body, shuffle across the room and up the stairs with the endurance of a spry ninety year old. She is yelling up at me to hurry because she's hungry as I ascend the stairs. After about fifteen minutes I come back down, hair tamed back into a messy braid, makeup to cover up the puffy eyes and my favorite cherry print swing skirt and green blouse.
We head out the door and decide to walk the five blocks to The Abbey Burger Bistro. Once we enter the dark wood and brick establishment, we take our place at the bar. The bartender hands us menus as we order our drinks.
"I'll have a Heavy Seas Small Craft beer, in the bottle, no glass." Luna directs the bar keep without looking up from her menu.
"I'll just have an iced tea no sugar please. Thank you."
The tall, lean forty something man with a trimmed beard and shaved head nods, then turns to walk to the other end of the bar.
"I am so getting the homemade crab dip. I worked off a lot of calories last night and I need to make up for it." My mouth is watering as I speak the words with dripping lust.
"Yes, about last night. So, what happened?" Luna casually turns and tilts her head in my direction.
"Let's just say I finally bagged myself an A." I can't help the huge grin that blooms on my face. Images of Pierce pop in my head like old Hollywood paparazzi cameras. I finally have to close my eyes and breathe deeply to gather my composure. Once my eyes engage the room again Luna's mouth has dropped open and she is starting to flutter her hands around. Her body is a dead giveaway of what's to come next.
"Oh my god Woman! I hate you so much right now. An A, are you serious? You have never gotten an A before, not even close. I haven't even gotten an A before. How? What? Damn, I have so many questions in my head right now."
I pat her shoulder as if she is second runner up at a beauty pageant.
"Just breathe Luna. All in good time. His name is Pierce and he is gorgeous. I actually lost track of how many orgasms I had. Can you believe that? Too many to count. God he's good."
I breathe out the last sentence while looking up at the ceiling as Pierce's defined chest streak across my brain and my skin nostalgically feels his thick arms encasing my body. I look over to see the bartender frozen a few steps away, agape, our drinks sweating. A mug of steely professionalism slams down over his features, but it can't hide his blush.
"Here you go ladies. You ready to order?"
"Yes, I will have the Chopped salad and your Homemade Crab dip." I hand the menu over as he nervously takes it from me, straining to avoid eye contact.
"And I'll have the Baltimore Burger. Medium rare. And some fried pickles on the side."
She gives up her menu, but holds it low, so she can brush his arm as he takes it. We chuckle together, watching his jackrabbit departure for the kitchen.
"You're matching me calorie for calorie, Luna. Did you have a 'high impact' night too?"
I give her a wink and she,
she
blushes. This
must
be good.
"You did! Who was it and what's the grade?"
"Actually it was Pierce's friend, Corbin. I went over to his table at the club last night after you and Pierce left. He's cute and sweet. I didn't have multiple orgasms like you, but then again we didn't have sex."
"You didn't have sex? I know you like to take things slow, but God, what you're missing."
"Yes, well..." She holds her head level, clenching her teeth slightly with virtue.
"I'm not judging you Luna. I think its sweet you have this hopeless romantic outlook on dating. Taking your time and building up to the big moment. In truth, sometimes I wish I was like that. Perhaps I wouldn't have dated so many duds."
"It doesn't sound like you got a dud now, Jos. When are you going to see each other again?"
"I don't know. That's up to him."
"Oh? When did he say he would call?"
"I didn't give him my number. I left while he was asleep."
Luna blinks her round green blue eyes at me, her brow scrunching like Debbie Gibson's hairband.
"So, you are telling me that you had incredible sex with a gorgeous, no, god like man who gave you multiple orgasms. Then snuck out while he slept without leaving him any way to contact you?"
"No, I never said I didn't leave him anything. I left him a note and ... my panties to remember me by."
"A note? What did this note say?"
"I'm paraphrasing but it said, thanks for the ride. I didn't want to wake you but I was hungry so I am going home as you don't have anything in your house to feed me. Then I mentioned how he should visit his mom's for food. Then I said I liked to be wooed and am not easily caught, so I hope he is up for the challenge."
Luna's mouth is catching flies again. After a few moments she straightens, leans back, and starts to shake her head.
"Oh Jos, what on earth are you thinking? How is he supposed to woo you if he doesn't know your phone number, where you live or, or, anything about you? Did you tell him what you did for a living? Maybe he can get your office number?"
I lean in, and smile, waiting for her to tail off and listen.
"He's the one Luna."
Her eyes widen and she scoots her stool closer to me, looking around conspiratorially.
"Are you sure? I mean that was only a hypothetical. Do you really think he will pass those tests? Most of the men you meet can barely give you an orgasm, and now you think ..."
"Pierce."
"Pierce? Ooh, yummy name! You think Pierce can earn the A+?"
"I know he can. It wasn't just the sex ... although that was mind blowing ... it was what he said last night. I know he felt it too. I don't think I have ever had this feeling with any other man. I think this is what people sing about when they say they can't get enough of another person. He makes me feel things that I have no words to describe. Maybe it's because of my emotions I want him to pass this test, but I do think he's smart enough to do it."
Luna is still grinning as the bartender places our food in front of us and we dig in.
"I think someone has fallen in love for the first time in her life. That's what I think." Luna then takes a huge bite of her burger. Now, I love her and think she is one of the most beautiful women to walk this planet, but she is an ugly eater. Even though I have told her time and time again to close her mouth when she chews, I am always ignored. Hopefully she does a better job in front of her dates. Perhaps they are so blinded by her beauty they don't notice she chews her food like a cow having a stroke.
"I have known him less than 24 hours, Luna. I can't be falling in love, but I do admit to having strong feelings for him. Hopefully he figures out what I meant in the note."
Something about the thought of being in love makes me shiver, but not in a good way. I pass it off as low blood sugar and take another bite of my dip.
"About how ... he should ... visit his mother?" Luna snuffs out in-between chews. I look away and catch a glimpse of the bartender in the mirror. He looks like he's watching a train wreck at the Playboy Mansion. Despite the reflection making him look like he's facing the other way, his expression is unmistakably one of someone watching Luna eat.
"Yes, exactly. See, you get it. Luna, please tell me you didn't eat in front of Corbin last night."
"Yes I did."
"Then tell me you closed your mouth while eating."
"Yes, miss-know-it-all, I do close my mouth while eating in front of guys I go on dates with. It's just I'm relaxed around you and can fully be myself, ya know?"
"Being you should not exclude manners Luna."
She rolls her eyes while openly mashing her food with her teeth.
"Anyway, back to your note, how does his mother play into it?"
"I found a picture of him with his mother in his bathroom. It's Mrs. Carver our neighbor a few doors down."
"Oh the woman who is always helping us with the garden?"
"Yeah, so I figure if he visits her I have a good chance of running into him."
"Good thinking. But, I thought her son was a teenager?"
"So did I. Every photo she showed me of Pierce was him as a teenager. I thought it odd I never saw him around, being a teenager and all. But, I just assumed he lived with his dad or went far away to school or something like that."
"She needs to update the photos of him."
"Yeah, and it's weird she doesn't have any photos of him from this century! I think they have a weird family thing about pictures. Pierce's photograph of his mother was hanging over his toilet, so every time he pees he is looking at her. Isn't that a little strange?"
"Yeah."
"So moving on, Luna. You and Corbin?"
She smiles sweetly, indelicately shoving three fried pickles in her mouth before speaking.
"I would give him a B so far. You know me, I have to know them and finally sleep with them before they have any chance of earning the A."
"Yes, but what did happen? That's what I want to know."
"We danced a few of the slow songs at the club. Then he asked if I wanted to get something to eat. We went to a small diner and talked. A lot. He works in IT, doing something he doesn't care about and I can't remember. Project Manager or Systems Manager or something. Anyway, we talked about our past and our dreams for the future. I brought up how I always longed to be a photographer and he told me how his dream is to start his own graphic design business. I thought that was cool. We were talking so long the diner was closing and had to kick us out."
She takes a swig of her beer before she continues; blushing.
"That's when he started to hold my hand and wouldn't let go. He drove me home and walked me to the door. That's when we kissed." She sighs, resting her head on her hand and staring off into a romantic distance only she can see. I've seen that look on her face dozens of times, but for the first time, I'm tempted to turn around to see what's there.
"So, that's it? He gets a B and you only kissed? I mean, I didn't expect debauchery, but I did think you would do more than kiss. That's a bit chaste, even for you, Luna."
She places a hand on my arm and shakes her head with a concerned look on her face.
"No, it wasn't just a kiss Jos. This kiss, it was ... amazing. I know I sound like a silly teenager with an unrealistic fantasy, but oh God, that man can kiss. When he finally pulled away from me I had my leg wrapped around his hip and didn't even remember placing it there. For a moment I forgot where I was. If he had asked me for my bank account number after that kiss I would have given it to him. No man has ever even come close to kissing me like that. I watched him as he went down the steps and back to his car and he had the biggest hard on." We both laugh. She continued describing the kiss in detail using words like velvet tongue and caressing. For a moment I thought I was listening to an erotic novel on tape. I finally cut her off when her descriptions went in the moist direction.
"Well, if he kisses like that, imagine how those lips are going to be elsewhere."
Luna just closes her eyes as a big smile spreads across her face.
"I know Jos, it's all I think about.”